Hey guys! My sister and I are writing this together! I read all my scenes to her before I post them to make sure I don't have any spelling mistakes and sometimes she gives me some pretty good ideas. So I asked her if she wanted to help me write a bonus scene. We decided we wanted a funnier scene with the Avengers' kids as actual kids. (Instead of how they are in my newer story War of the Stolen- young adults). This scene is supposed to be absolutely hilarious. And given the amount of laughing both me and my sis did while writing it... I'd say it's pretty funny, unless we were both just really sleep deprived.

Anyhow! Enjoy! Review if you like it! Part two coming soon! :D

-randomblueboots

CLINT

It was only a few days after Christmas and Clint wanted to shove his head into a bowl of ice and sriracha to numb the pain. Irina had been screaming at the top of her lungs for the past half hour because Clint had not allowed her to have more than one cookie. He probably could have calmed her down faster if Alexei hadn't decided to sit in the corner of the living room with his ears plugged, screaming at the top of HIS lungs. He also was sick of his little sister screaming, but Clint probably wouldn't allow his kid to stick his head in a bowl of ice and sriracha like HE wanted to do. Suddenly Tasha walked in through the front door.

"HOLY CRAP. THANK THE NEWBORN BABY JESUS. I HAVE MISSED YOU SO VERY MUCH." Clint gasped.
"What's going on?" Tash said looking confused around her at the horror of what was happening.

"WELCOME TO PURGATORY!" He said with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Aww... baby, are you okay?" She asked. Clint assumed she was asking him the question, but when he looked up, Tasha was hugging both children and the screaming had ceased.

"WHY?" he said. He felt tears coming on. It just wasn't fair, and he felt like being dramatic.

"Jeez, Clint. Just calm down."

"WHY?" Tash leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Avengers night out?" she said with a wild teasing look in her eyes.

"YES, PLEASE."

THOR

"HELLO, LOGAN!"

"I can hear you, bub." Logan replied on the other end of the phone.

"MY NAME IS NOT BUB, LOGAN, IT IS I, THOR ODINSON!"

"Yes, yes I got that. Forget it. What do you want?"

"YOU MUST COME TO AVENGERS TOWER TOMORROW NIGHT AT EIGHT THIRTY! WE HAVE GREAT THINGS TO DO! AND YOU MUST BE HERE!"

"Right, right. There's no need to shout."

"RIGHT, THANK YOU, OH MIDGARDIAN WOLF-MAN."

"It's not wolf, Thor. It's Wolverine."

"OF COURSE. SHALL WE SEE YOU THEN?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, bub."

"BUB? IT IS NOT BUB! IT IS THOR ODINSON, PRINCE OF ASGARD."

"I know who you are!" Logan shouted, "Goodbye!"

"GOODBYE, FAIR WOLF-MAN!"

"You know what?!"

"WHAT?"

"IT'S WOLVERINE, BUB!"

"OKAY!"

"Goodbye, Thor."

"Goodbye, Wolf-"

"WOLVERINE!"

TASHA

"Hey, there Sam, it's Tasha. I was wondering if you could maybe watch the kids for an evening. Some of the other Avengers will be getting a couple other people to help out seeing as how there are twelve children and Tony decided to buy cake."

"Umm... o-okay. What time would you like me to be over?"

"Sometime around... eight fifteen."

"Oh. Okay, I'll be there."

"GREAT!" Clint screamed literally right next to her ear.

"CLINT!" Tasha shouted, "Sorry, about that. He's very excited for a night out."

"Right. Okay, see you then. Goodbye...?"

"Yup, bye!"

TONY

"Peter, my little... man... child... friend...!"

"Umm... hey, there, Tony!"

"What's up?"

"Oh nothing, just studying for finals."

"FINALS! Sweet! Can you watch my kids tomorrow evening?"

"What?"

"We're sort of... busy... I mean... umm..."

"You're going out. I get it."

"Yeah, just wait until you have little umm... monsters."

"Monsters?"

"Nevermind, just be here at eight fifteen."

"Umm... actually I really need to study for my biology final..."

"GREAT! I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND!"

"Ummm... what?"

"See you then!"

"What?"

"BYE!"

PETER

Peter walked into the family room. There he was awaited by all of the avengers and their children along with Sam Wilson, (AKA Falcon).

"Hi, Peter." Steve said with a smile. "Sam is here to help. Also, Thor has someone else coming in a bit but all he kept saying was it was Wolf... so... we're just hoping it's not someone from Asgard."

"Okay... cool... ummm... is there anything I should know before you guys leave?"

"Okay," Tasha started, "The first thing is, since there's only three of you, we've decided it would be easier if all the kids are just put into bed down here. There are sleeping bags and pillows in the closet over there, and the bathroom's just over there. There's plenty of games and toys the kids can play with up here. So it's all easier."

"Alright." Sam nodded.

"It's preferable that they're all in bed before nine." Maria said.

"What about individually? Is there anything I need to know about the kids personally?" Peter asked.

"Well, Alexei, has this thing," Clint began. Oh no, not a thing. Peter thought. "Where he won't use the bathroom unless you sing 'Baa, Baa black sheep' to him. You have to sit on the edge of the bathtub and sing it, or else he'll sit on the toilet and scream until he passes out. And trust me, you do not want him to pass out while he's on the toilet, all of it is unleashed-"

"Oh don't listen to him. He's fine. But seriously, sing Baa, Baa black sheep." Tasha sighed.

"So, the kids should all, and will all, eat real food before they eat any sweets." Steve began. "Also my kids will only be allowed to have once piece of cake."

"We can't really have them eating too much sweet stuff, they're really inclined to get cavities. Steve and I both have problems with that." Maria said.

"Yeah, even super soldier serum doesn't stop cavities."

"Oh, Steve, you sound like a frickin' toothpaste commercial." Tony sighed, and then to Peter and Sam, "Give them all the cake they want."

"YES, but they absolutely have to have real food first. There's sandwhich fixings in the fridge over there." Maria gasped out before Loki jumped in.

"Umm... Finley is perfectly fine, nothing to worry about there. Jordan, on the other hand, sometimes disappears. But don't worry, he's just invisible, and he'll come back. Sometimes he makes copies of himself, so you might see more than one of him... sometimes... Easy way to figure out which is the real one: just pick him up. If your hands go right through him, then it's not him."

Joy suddenly spoke up, "Don't like, pinch him or anything to see if he's real. If he's real, he'll be solid. If he's not, your hands will go right through him."

"Okay..." Sam said with a frown.

"Okay, so about, my kids. Eric tends to kind of lose it when you say it's bedtime. So, just pick him up, no matter how hard it may seem, and take him to bed and he's probably going to be kicking and screaming. All you have to do is sing "Dust in the Wind" a couple times and he'll calm down. Then he's going to ask you why. All you have to do is tell him that we're just dust in the wind and then he'll go to sleep."

"Yeah, Eric kind of has anger managment issues. And it doesn't have to be "Dust in the Wind" Bruce just thinks it's funny when he asks why. It can be any song really."

"Yeah, but seriously, do it, it's hilarious."

"It's not funny, Bruce. It's stupid." Juliette glared.

"Honey, it's hilarious. Peter, Sam, trust me, do it."

"Oh right! Before the kids go to bed you have to sing the Star Spangled Banner. Don't ask why." Steve said.

"Umm.. what is it with you guys and singing?" Sam asked.

"Ask him why." Maria grinned, "It's funny."

"Babe, it's not funny." Steve groaned.

"Alright guys! I think it's time to leave." Tasha called. All the parents headed towards the elevator and as they did they hugged and kissed their children goodbye. As they were leaving Maria handed Katie over to Sam and Tasha handed Irina over to Peter. The rest of the children rushed back to the toy box. Thor suddenly peaked his head out of the elevator before it could close.

"And by the way, my dear Midgardian Friends," he said, "Allow my three young children to watch the film '300' before bed."

"What?" Peter said with a horrified look on his face.

"Also, without telling my wife."

"THOR!" Jane shouted. "Our kids are ten and five years old! They are not going to be watching that movie for a very, very long time!"

"Umm... I'm with Jane on this one." Sam said.

"But, darling! The could learn great things of battle!" Thor cried.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Jane screamed as the elevator doors closed. And then, they were all alone.

After a few minutes of horrible silence between the two babysitters, the elevator doors opened once again to reveal Wolverine.

"What'd I miss, bubs?" Logan looked around the room and frowned, "Umm... am I in the wrong room?"

"Uhh... were you sent by Thor?" Peter asked.

"Yes, but-" Logan began. Sam laughed out loud.

"You're here to help us babysit their kids!" He grinned.

"The hell? I ain't doing that crap. No way! I was under the impression that this was a mission!"

"Sorry, Logan, but I don't think you can back out on something Thor Odinson asked you to do." Peter said.

"Well, I sure as hell ain't watching some snot-nosed kids." Logan glared.

"Umm... I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to say that in front of them." Sam said.

"Oh! He says hell too!" Alexei pointed over at Logan.

"No! That's a bad word!" Peter gasped.

"Mommy says it." Alexei frowned.

"Oh my God." Sam said. Logan laughed out loud.

"Whose kid is this? Wait. Let me guess, Natasha Romanoff's."

"That would be correct. This is Alexei, and his sister Irina." Peter gestured to the red haired little boy and the sister that was in Peter's arms.

"I like you kid." Logan said.

"What's your name?" Alexei asked.

"Umm..."

"Can we have cake now?" Aspen frowned.

"Cake?" Logan asked, "This isn't turning out to be too bad of a job."

"No. They said you guys had to have sandwiches first."

"I don't want a sandwich I want cake." Eric glared. Sam looked at Peter with concern,

"I don't want to deal with this."

"You're giving up already, bub?"

"But-" Peter began.

"Guess what, kids, if you eat your cake before you eat your sandwiches then your stomach shrivels up and dies." Logan glared.

"What?!" Aspen frowned. "That can't be true. It's impossible."

"No. It's the truth of god." Logan swore.

"Prove it." Aspen crossed his arm.

"Stupid-ass Starks." Logan muttered. "How about we test it on your little sister?"

"No!" Aspen wrapped her arms around Pepper's head protectively. "You can't hurt her, she's only eight!"

"Well, that clears that up, bub. Sandwiches it is." Logan headed towards the fridge, "I assume the fixings are in here."

"I DON'T WANT SANDWICHES! I WANT CAKE!" Eric stomped his foot. Logan spun around.

"Do you want to die, little man?" He hissed.

"N-no..." Eric whispered.

"Then you're gonna eat yourself a healthy sandwich."

"O-Okay." Eric nodded. Sam looked over at Peter and grinned. Maybe this wouldn't be so horrible afterall.

"So! While Logan makes the sandwiches-" Logan looked over at Peter and glared, "-why don't we play a game?"

"Yeah! How about Candyland or Chutes and Ladders? Candyland was my favorite when I was a kid." Sam said, "Do you guys have Candyland?"

"What's Candyland?" Aspen asked.

"It's perfect for younger kids. Do you mean to say you don't know what Candyland is?" Sam asked.

"I've never played it. Have you, Essie?" Aspen looked over at her little sister who was helping Eric build a block tower.

"No." The little girl shook her head. While Sam stared in amazement around the children, shocked that they hadn't played his favorite childhood boardgames before Peter began having his own problems.

"Hey, Peter!" Noah grabbed Peter's hand and shook it roughly. Peter looked down quickly.

"Yeah?"

"You should see the cool game Uncle Clint got for Christmas this year."

"What type of game?" Peter asked.

"A video game. Look!" Noah held up a green x-box game case. Written in bold letters across the top were the words: Heroes of America.

"Hey. That's pretty cool." Peter set down Irina who immediately went over to the lit up Christmas tree and began playing with the ornaments. Peter took the game from Noah and read the back to himself. Then aloud: "Playable Characters: Captain America, Ironman, the Hulk, Wolverine, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Thor, Loki, Storm, the Human Torch, the Thing... Heyyyy... how come Spiderman's not on here?!"

"'Cause Spiderman's not as cool as Captain America, that's why." Noah crossed his arms and looked up at Peter with confidence. "My dad's the best, and all the rest aren't as good as him, especially not Spiderman."

"Hey! Now that's not very nice!" Peter glared.

"I know, that's because the truth hurts." Noah smiled.

"Okay. You know what, kid..."

"I can't believe you guys haven't played Candyland before! You know what? I'm going out to buy it right now and we're going to play it tonight." Sam said.

"You're just saying that to get out of here." Logan growled from the table.

"No!"

"Yes. You are."

"Can't we play something normal like Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit?" Aspen asked. Logan raised an eyebrow,

"How old are you, kid?"

"Nine."

"Candyland is better than both of those-" Sam was cut off by his ring tone. He sighed, prayed that it was Tony or Tasha, and answered.

"Sammy?"

"Oh." He breathed. "Hi, Mama." Aspen laughed out loud, and Pepper followed suit. Logan grinned, and mimicked in a soft voice,

"Mama."

"Shut up! Oh, not you, Mama... where am I?... umm... at work." Aspen looked over to where Peter and Noah were still arguing and then she heard a crunching sound. She looked over to the tree to see Irina Yumiko tossing ornaments to the ground and crunching them under her feet, giggling all the while. Aspen poked Alexei and pointed,

"Look at your sister." Alexei looked over to the tree and grinned.

"That looks fun." He dashed over to the eight-foot tall monument of Christmas and began to climb it to where the more expensive and more breakable ornaments were towards the top. Slowly the other children began noticing Irina's mess and began howling and laughing with her. Aspen stared in horror, while Pepper called out to Alexei,

"Get the star!"

"No! Don't!" Aspen cried. "Mr. Wolverine!" She looked over to where the frightening man was making sandwiches. He looked up, saw the mess, gritted his teeth, and screamed,

"HEY! HEY! BUBS!"

"Hold on, Logan, I'm talking to my Mama." Sam sighed.

"What's happening, Sammy? Who's that that's yelling?"

"Nothing mom, just standard procedure-"

"HOLY FU—UN HOUSE!" Peter screamed when he saw Irina and Alexei, and still a little shaken from what almost became a bad slip-up on his part continued, "Get... get down from there young man."

"I know what you were going to say." Noah said, "I'm a big boy, I know these things."

"Yeah, so what was I going to say?" Peter challenged.

"Fudge." Noah grinned proudly.

"Peter! A little help!" Logan scooped up Irina from the floor, thankful that she was wearing shoes.

"I got it!" Peter pulled out his web shooter and shot Alexei right in the back, pulling on the cord to bring him down, but Alexei had already grabbed the glass star at the top of the tree which Peter had only placed there a few days before, and suddenly it was flying through the air. Peter caught Alexei, but the star went flying and Sam right in the back of his head where it shattered. He crumpled to the floor.

"Sam!" Both Peter and Logan cried out and rushed towards the poor man on the other side of the sofa. Sam slowly sat up, rubbing his head.

"Ow... I'm okay guys..." The children began screaming, and he trailed off, a look of horror painted across his face as he looked over towards the tree. "GUYS...!" There was a shattering crunch as the Avenger's Christmas tree fell to the floor, lights, ornaments, and all, right on top of all the other children.