Blanket disclaimer: for this entire story, I don't own D. Gray-man. (and probably for my entire life, unfortunately)

The Child I'm Not; Chapter 1

"Incoming akuma!"

Allen responded to Lavi's call instantly, activating his Crown Clown, and turning to meet the horde. They were all level twos and ones, and were easily cut down.

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda, and Miranda were all on a mission in the countryside of Britain, defeating akuma as they moved in on the city. London had a mass of high-level akuma that grew everyday, and within a few days, the exorcists would arrive there. It was nearly midnight, and the akuma had finally shown.

Howard Link hung back behind Allen. He was usually unwilling to fight, as it "wasn't his duty." Allen always rolled his eyes at this.

The white-haired exorcist finished off the last of the akuma, turning to see how his friends had fared. They were all in the middle of a large field, with one inn several yards away (where they had been lodging for a few hours). Lavi waved to him, a signal that he and Kanda were fine.

Lenalee's cry drew his eyes to her. She knelt next to a fallen Miranda, who looked pale. Allen raced over. "She got hit by an akuma bullet, straight in the chest," Lenalee cried. "Allen, I don't know what to do. Krory can't suck it out this time, he's not here and-" Miranda gave a gasp, as little stars appeared on her neck. The poison inside of her was spreading.

"Step aside, Lenalee," Allen said, kneeling next to Miranda. The woman's Time Record wasn't activated. She was seizing up. He had an idea of how to save her, but wasn't sure if it would work. She's dying anyway, better try.

Allen tore her shirt open, to see where the bullets had hit her (there was no thought of modesty, Miranda was dying). He bit his palm hard, blood instantly welling. Clenching his fist over the entry wound of the akuma bullets, Allen let the blood drip into it.

"What are you doing?!" Lenalee gasped.

"Akuma bullets don't harm me, my blood has Innocence running through it. Maybe it'll transfer to Miranda, to heal her." The stars were moving quicker, appearing on Miranda's arms, and Allen used his Innocence claw to make the wound on his palm bigger. More blood ran out. Slowly, to Allen's relief, the stars were disappearing.

Miranda opened her eyes, gasping. The hand with her Time Record slowly moved across her body, until Allen's blood accidentally dripped on it.

Instantly, there was a giant explosion. Allen was flung backwards, landing on his bloody hand, making it sting. Lenalee had been thrown the other way, away from Miranda.

"What just happened, moyashi?!" Kanda demanded, yanking him up. Allen winced.

"It's Allen, BaKanda! We were saving Miranda, she got hit with an akuma bullet. It was working, I thought. Something happened with her Time Record-" Allen's words died in his throat. He felt disbelief, taking in what appeared as the smoke cleared. In the middle of the field, Miranda lay, slowly waking up.

Next to her was a red-headed boy, passed out. He wore rough, ragged clothes with gigantic patches all over them. "Who the heck is that?" Kanda said, following Lavi over to Miranda. Allen stood, frozen, in his place. He couldn't go any closer.

(He didn't want to.)

"It's a child," Link said. The man arrived at the kid first, lifting him up. "He's quite banged up."

"He just appeared," Miranda explained. "I don't know how or where he came from, there was a flash, and he just appeared." She began crying. "It's cause I'm so useless."

Lenalee put a hand on Miranda's shoulder. "No, it's not your fault, Miranda. I'm sure there's a good explanation for this. The important thing is, you've recovered from the akuma bullets. Allen saved you!"

Allen still stayed where he was, watching Link push back the boy's bangs from his head.

(Is he going to recognize him? Is he going to realize?)

"He's waking up," was all Link said. Allen breathed out, his shoulders dropping. The boy wasn't recognized.

The kid opened his eyes, a light grayish-blue, focusing. He yelped, and punched Link in the face, making the older man drop him. The kid tripped, landing on his butt, looking up at every one with fear. "Wh- who are you? Wh- where a-am I?!" he cried.

"It's alright, we're the good guys," Lavi said cheerily. "We aren't gonna hurt you. What's your name? Are you a ghost or an akuma?"

The boy had his red hair tied back in a little ponytail, with a long-sleeved, tattered shirt that looked a little chilly for the fall weather. He had scrapes and bruises everywhere, and looked up at Allen's friends with a dark, fearful gaze. "Why'da you gotta know? I don't even know what an akuma is."

There was silence. Lavi turned to Allen, waving him over. "Anybody know this kid? Allen, do you know this kid?"

Allen forced the lump in his throat down, forced his feet to slowly walk. He stopped a foot away from the kid, meeting the

blue eyes

(that were like his)

the hurt frown

(that had been his)

The arm hidden inside what had been an abandoned oven mitt

(that had been his.)

"No, I don't know him. Never seen him before."

He's me.

Kanda finally grabbed the kid and thrown him over his shoulder, when the boy had refused to come with them. The inn was nearby, a short walk for them all, but a painful one. Everyone had small wounds.

"Put me down!" the kid cried, banging his fists against Kanda's back. Kanda ignored him.

"Tell us your name, brat, and maybe I will."

"It's Red, okay? People call me Red! Now, put me down!"

"No."

Allen quickly looked away when Red met his gaze. Those eyes brought back too many painful memories. Red hadn't met Mana yet, he was probably six or seven. He hadn't changed his name to Allen, either.

"Do you know where you came from?" Lenalee asked kindly. Red spat at her, kicking at Kanda's front. Lavi growled, reaching for the kid, but Lenalee stopped him. "It's fine, Lavi, Red's just scared. He doesn't mean it."

"You don't know what I mean," Red yelled angrily. "You're all just a bunch of #^& losers!"

"A little kid shouldn't know those words," Lavi said, sweating.

"I'm not little. I'm gonna grow big and tall someday, and then I'm gonna beat you all up," Red said, giving Lavi a death glare.

Allen felt a pang in his heart. He remembered when he had promised himself that, growing big and tall someday. He had made the vow to himself when it was the only thing he could do, because himself as a child was the most powerlessness state he had ever been in.

Allen had changed so much from himself at the age of seven.

(he didn't know if they were good changes)

Kanda dumped Red into the nearest chair once they reached in the inn. It was just a small, rural house, with only the innkeeper and his wife there. "Talk, brat. Where're you from?" Kanda demanded, sitting in the chair across from him. Red bit his lip, obviously trying not to cry.

"I'm from the circus, 'kay? Not really from anywhere," Red slowly answered. Lenalee sat down as well.

"You have a British accent, are you from England? Around here?" Lenalee asked in a soft voice, ever the kind woman.

My accent's faded now, thank goodness. It used to be quite a strong English accent, Allen thought. He didn't want his friends figuring out who the child was, and he wasn't exactly sure why.

(I don't want them finding out what I've been through. They'll treat me differently.)

"I don't know, stop asking!" Red cried. He banged his arms on the table. Lavi noticed the oven mitt on Red's left hand.

"What's that? Why do you have a giant glove on your hand?" The bookman gestured towards it. Red shrunk away, pulling his left hand protectively near his body.

"D-don't t-touch me." Allen noticed that there was blood on the sleeve of it, drowning him in memories of bruises and pain.

"Come here. You need to be bandaged," Allen said, grabbing Red's shoulder, pulling him to a nearby room.

"Wait, Allen! We should come with-" Allen met Lavi's gaze, shaking his head. Lavi got the message, and went silent.

Shutting the door behind Red and him, Allen gently set Red onto the bed. "Your arm's hurt. I'm going to bandage it, okay?" Allen looked into the child's eyes, his own eyes, watching for any sign of pain, as he slipped off the glove.

"N-no!" Red said, trying to pull it up again. "D-don't. I-I can do it on my own." His dirty face was scared, eyes darting around, looking for a means of escape.

Allen grabbed a roll of bandages from a drawer. "Red, I have to bandage it so it doesn't get infected, and heals. Please take off the glove."

Slowly, carefully, Red slipped it off. Allen bit his lip, remembering what it was like to carry that ugly arm. After crown-clown had activated, his arm had changed to black-and-white skin, no longer scaly and dragon-like. There were two slashes across the forearm, and Allen gently dabbed them with alcohol. Red twisted, yelping.

"That # $%^& hurts!"

"Don't use words like that, okay? You're a kid. You shouldn't. No matter what you've been through."

Red frowned. "I'm allowed to swear as much as I want. Nobody controls me."

"Nobody controls you, sure. But nobody listens to you, either." Allen knelt on the floor, getting a better vantage point, to bandage the cuts. "That's not fun at all."

"What'ya know, anyway? Dumb snowman."

Allen ignored the insult, immediately drawing back. His lapse of emotion was over. He wasn't going to recognize that child as himself, because that meant remembering.

(He didn't want to remember.)

"You need to keep your hand covered up. It's okay if my friends see your arm, but if they see that cross embedded in your hand, they'll get mad." Allen was lying. He knew that if the other exorcists saw the cross embedded in the red skin, they'd figure out the connection. They would know the arm was Innocence.

"Why's that? You all wear tons of crosses," Red said, yanking his glove on.

"Yours is a different kind. Just, don't."

Link opened the door to the room with a bang. "Walker, don't leave me behind! I have to escort you everywhere! That means every- oh." He had caught sight of Red's arm, covered blood and bandages. Allen brushed past Link.

"You guys can take care of the rest. I'm going to bed."

Once in his room, Allen turned off the lights, and sat on the bed. It took a few seconds, but once he felt the water on his cheeks, he realized he was crying. The memory of how Red had gotten those fresh cuts was pushing its way up, and it dragged Allen into it.

How did I get these cuts?

"So, how'd you get these cuts?" Lavi asked Red. Lenalee, Link, Kanda, and him had all come into the bedroom. Lavi was the only one on the same bed.

Red kept his eyes fixed on the floor. "Doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Lenalee said, giving him a kind smile. "It's okay, Red. You can tell us. Nothing is going to hurt you now."

There was a moment of silence, and then Red slowly began. "The ringmaster has a son, and a daughter. The son is big, and tall, and h-" Red stopped. "He wants to be like Claude."

Claude, a cruel, hulk of a man, who enjoyed throwing his beer mug at Allen's face after he had emptied it, and called for a refill-

"Who's Claude?" Lenalee asked.

"Claude is the man who throws knives in the acts. The ringmaster's son practices with his knives sometimes, and I'm small-"

"You're a runt! You're smaller than a bullseye, so if I can hit you, it'll be better than hitting a bullseye!"

"-so sometimes he throws them and misses and sometimes he hits me cause he doesn't think I can bleed;"

"That creepy arm of his probably doesn't even bleed, it's so gross. What a weirdo. Let's see if he does bleed!"

"-but I do bleed and-"

it hurts

There was silence in the bedroom. Lavi couldn't stop staring at the little kid, noticing for the first time how bruised he really was. There were faded scars on his neck and visible hand, and more hidden underneath the oversized coat. His eyes were bruised, too. They watched Lavi with hurtful wariness, almost near tears, but with a stubborn attitude, no tears fell. The eyes seemed so familiar.

Lavi had seen a lot of messed up children, and at that moment, Red was near the top of the list.

"We won't touch your arm," Lavi said, leaving it at that. "Nobody plays with knives here but Kanda and Allen, and those are used to fight demons. Not a child."

"What's the difference?" Red murmured, low enough so that only Kanda and Lavi could hear. "People tell me I'm both."

Lavi saw Kanda's frown deepen, as the Japanese man studied the kid. Even though Kanda would never say it, he was disturbed by Red just as much as the rest of them.

"Let's get you to bed. You can share a room with Kanda and I," Lavi said.

"It's nearly midnight, so little boys should be in bed. We can figure out where you came from tomorrow," Lenalee said. "I'm going to go to bed, with Miranda. See you all in the morning. Sleep well, Red." She stepped over to him, wrapping him a tight hug. The kid stiffened, turning pale. Lenalee let him go, beaming, and left the room.

Red appeared disgusted, and shivered. "Hey, when a girl hugs you, you're supposed to like it," Lavi said.

"I don't like women," Red said. "They're evil."

"Lenalee's about as nice as you can get, kid. Get to sleep now. You can have that bed. Kanda can have the floor, I get the other bed."

"As if, idiot," Kanda growled. "You get floor."

"Fine," Lavi sighed. He pulled out his bandana, running a hand through his hair. His brain needed rest from all the calculations and notes it did everyday.

Within a few minutes, the lights were off, and Lavi lay on a makeshift bed on the floor. He couldn't tell if Kanda was asleep, but Red certainly wasn't. The kid had awkwardly laid down, but didn't lay the covers over him like a normal person. He had pulled the blankets untucked, then wrapped them around himself like a cocoon. He lay on his side, watching the entire room carefully.

He's a kid, kid do weird things, Lavi thought. Where had Red come from? It had something to do with Miranda's Innocence. Something to do with Time Record. What exactly had happened with saving Miranda? Allen had definitely done something.

A sound broke Lavi from his thoughts, and he listened intently. Red was quietly getting off his bed. Is he trying to escape? I doubt he'll get far. Just as Lavi was reaching for the lamp, Red stopped walking, and plopped down on the floor a foot away from Lavi. He had dragged the blanket with him, and laid down with it. On the floor.

Lavi stayed silent, listening to Red's breathing as it slowed. The child had fallen asleep.

"What's he doing?" Kanda mumbled from his bed. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah, the kid's fast asleep. I wonder why he did that. Does he not like beds?" Lavi watched Red's face. When he wasn't frowning or yelling, the kid looked even more familiar. Where had he seen that face before?

"Maybe he's not used to them," Kanda said. "When I carried him-" Kanda stopped.

"What?"

"Not that I care about a brat, but... He weighed almost nothing. A kid his age should have some fat on him. Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Wake me up if he tries to escape." There was the sound of tossing blankets.

Kanda's words made Lavi wonder. Where does Red come from? Why is he so beat up? Perhaps he isn't used to beds, as Kanda said. How could someone not like a bed, though?

At least Red's face appeared clear of scars, but most likely, the rest of his body wasn't. Hopefully his face would stay unscarred.

Link found Allen already in his bed, with the lights in the room turned off. As he changed into his nightclothes, he questioned the exorcist. "Have you ever met that child before?"

Allen shifted in his bed, his face still hidden. "No. Why would I have?"

"Just wondering. He came here due to Innocence, and you've got some experience with the matter."

"I don't know him."

Link got into bed, finding his way around in the dark. "You aren't getting sick, are you? You sound stuffy."

"I'm fine." Allen wasn't being his normal, cheerful self, Link noted. I'll have to question him more in the morning.

"What do we do with a freakin' kid?" Kanda yelled at Lavi from across the breakfast table. Lenalee winced, giving a sorry smile to the inn keeper's wife, who was also in the room.

"We gotta take him with us," Lavi said happily. Lenalee sighed. The Bookman was always willing to have something new to dissect. The poor red-haired kid was just a new paragraph in Lavi's book.

"They're quite loud this morning, aren't they, Allen?" she said to the white-haired exorcist next to her. Allen raised his head from the table. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, and appeared nearly incoherent.

"Oh? Yeah..." he scanned the room. "What are they talking about?"

"Uh, Allen, you've been here the entire time. Haven't you heard them?"

"Not really," he said, blinking slowly.

"They're deciding on whether to go on a mission with the kid, or toss him in a nearby orphanage temporarily." As soon as Lenalee had finished talking, Allen had stood up, knocking his chair over. He slammed his hands on the table.

"The child is going with me," he commanded.

It was a side of Allen that the other exorcists rarely saw. There was pause, as they took in Allen's there-will-be-no-freakin-protests-against-my-words face (Lavi's name for it.) Then activity ensued.

Kanda groaned, and Lavi cheered. "That means he's coming with us to kill akuma! Thanks, buddy!" Lavi said, reaching for a high five. Allen didn't accept. Lenalee noticed that kind, little Allen looked quite dangerous for eight in the morning. His demeanor was dark.

"No, I meant, I'm going to go buy him some clothes in London. We'll use the ark to get there and back quickly. It won't impede our mission," he added, when Link shot a glance in his direction. Allen bent down, fixing his chair, and sitting back down.

"He's still asleep," Lavi said, "On the floor in our room. He joined me, instead of sleeping on the bed."

It took me a few months to get used to the comfortability of a bed, Allen recalled. I don't think we're used to beds in Red's time.

"He must have been lonely," Lenalee cried. "He seems so young." She was saddened for Red. Allen tried not to groan. When Allen had been Red, he hadn't needed or wanted friends.

"He's not lonely."

"Why do you say that, Allen?" Link asked. Allen looked down at the table, stuffing a pice of waffle into his mouth.

"No reason. Just, we'r-Red's not lonely. I'm done eating, so I'll go wake him up." Allen left the room. He didn't realize that his words had been a lie.

Lenalee finished her own breakfast, bringing the dishes to the inn keeper's wife. "Thanks for putting up with us. Sorry about all the confusion."

"Oh, dear, it's fine. You all seem quite lively, and it reminds my husband and I of when we were children," the short lady said, smiling. "Where did that child come from? I hope he's not one of yours."

"Oh, no!" Lenalee said quickly. "We're trying to figure out where he's from."

"I'll let you know if I hear anything about missing children around the village," the woman replied. "There was one circus in here about a week ago, they were heading to London."

"Mind if I borrow your phone?" Lenalee said.

"Go ahead," the lady said. Lenalee pick it up, dialing Komui's number. If she didn't check in with her brother once at day, he would get antsy, or so Reever had told her.

"-yawn- Mmmhhmm?"

"Brother?" It sounded like Komui had a late night in the science division, as was often the case.

"Lenalee!" Komui gushed. "Your angelic voice brings strength to my soul!"

"Brother, don't be weird. I'm just checking in."

"How are things over there?"

"Uhmm, they're alright," Lenalee said. How was she to put the situation. "We sort of picked up a kid."

"...what? Sorry, Lenalee, the signals weak, can you repeat that?"

"We now have a kid."

"WHO'S CHILD IS IT LENALEE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN MARRIED WHILE I'M NOT THERE-"

Lenalee pulled the phone away from there, awkwardly smiling at the inn keeper's wife, who gave her a weird look. "Komui, be quiet! It's nobody's kid. We were fighting akuma, and something happened with Miranda's Time Record. There was an explosion, and he just appeared. His name is Red."

"With Time Record? Is the child related to Miranda in any way?"

"Nobody knows him."

"What does he look like?"

"Lenalee, we need your help! The kid won't leave the ro- OUCH!" Lavi was yelling from another room.

"Shoot, brother, I've got to go. My golem will transmit its recording of him. Love you!" Lenalee hung up before Komui could say anymore.

"How is Lenalee and the crew doing?" Reever asked Komui, setting a cup of coffee on his desk. Komui nodded his thanks.

"They're doing quite- interesting. Something happened with Miranda's Time Record, apparently. A kid appeared out of thin air."

"Do they know who he is?" Johnny piped up. "Maybe he's from another time, or something."

"Good point," Bak said, from where he was lounging on a couch. The Asian Branch Leader was shirking his responsibilities, by using the ark to be lazy in Komui's division. "What does he look like? Perhaps he's Miranda's futuristic child, or something."

"That's a possibility," Reever agreed.

Komui's golem lit up, buzzing and flapping its wings. "Lenalee just sent over a transmission of the child. Golem, show it, as big as possible, please," Komui said. The black golem opened its mouth, and a large image shone on the wall.

"Red, come on, Allen's gonna take you shopping!" Lavi was saying, when the video first started. Kanda, Lavi, Link, and Allen were all in a bedroom. A small kid was fighting Kanda from grabbing him, yelling right back at Lavi. He had spiky red hair pulled back in a ponytail, and was wearing the rattiest clothes Komui had ever seen.

"I'M NOT LEAVING THIS !#$%^& ROOM!" the kid yelled, kicking Kanda in the stomach. The Japanese man coughed, swiping at the kid, and missing. "You !#%^& can't make me!"

Allen was leaning up against the wall, apparently done with trying to control the kid.

"Red? What's the matter? Allen is just going to buy you some new clothes in London, but he needs you to come with him," Lenalee said, coming into the picture. Red shoved himself away from her, retreating into the corner of the room.

"D-don't touch me!" he cried, just as Kanda grabbed him, flipping him upside down. The transmission ended.

"Wow. That kid- was interesting, to say the least," Reever said. "He doesn't look like any of the exorcists. His hair is red, like Lavi's, but it's more of an orange than scarlet."

"Lenalee said his name was 'Red'. I hardly think that would be his real name. He could be Kanda's future child, with that personality, but there's not an ounce of Asian blood in him."

Bak had been silent, and spoke up. "He reminds me a lot of Kanda, as a kid. They're both the brattiest children I've ever seen. Did you see the way he was with Lenalee? He leapt away from her the moment she came close. Is he scared of her?"

"W-w-why would anyone be scared of my p-p-precious angelic sister?" Komui cried. Bak rolled his eyes.

"I'm just saying that it's interesting."

"He had an oven mitt on his left arm," Johnny said in his girlish voice, fixing his glasses.

Komui sipped his coffee. "There were a lot of things off about Red. Even Kanda was having issues handling him. Allen wasn't going near Red."

"I'm sure the exorcists will be able to handle him. They just have to figure out where he came from, and then they can send him back," Reever said.

"I know that, it's just," Komui sighed. "the teenagers in charge of a child? That's a disaster waiting to happen."

Waking Red up had been a total disaster. Allen had stayed out of the fight, since Kanda seemed to have a personal grudge against his child-self. Of course, Kanda has a grudge against me still, so I guess some things don't change with time.

Eventually, the kid's stomach had rumbled loud enough to be heard over the fighting, and all had ceased. Red's face was pink, he was ashamed to have been heard. Lavi laughed, and handed him an apple. "Eat up, kid. You can't yell and chew at the same time."

Red pulled off pouting and chewing at the same time. As soon as he was done, though, he continued profaning anything and everything he found to be unfair.

Allen sighed. This is gonna be a long day.

Thanks for reading!

Next Chapter: Red comes down with a fever. A doctor helps him, and volunteers to give the exorcists check-ups. The problem is, the doctor notices some weird similarities between Red and a certain white-haired exorcist...