I hate that I started a new story, I hate myself but I couldn't help it, my niece made me watch "its a wonderful life" and "A christmas carol", again, for the hundredth time and I got a little inspiration. I'm very uncertain of this story, so let me know if its worth continuing.

Life is funny, its humorous to think how little a person needs to survive; food, air and water. Its also a wonder to ponder how time can change you, how people can walk in and out of our lives, how we adapt and learn to operate in new environments but mostly its ironic how the people you spent everyday of your life with, grew up with, learned with and became a family with, could become strangers as the years apart weathered away the resilience to remain what you once were.

At first the phone calls were every night, and that lasted for as long as it could but Cristina was in charge of a whole hospital and facility and Meredith had a husband and kids to attend to on top of being a surgeon. They tried as hard as possible in the beginning to not lose what they had, they tried to compensate for the physical distance between them with conversations, emails and texts but as the time went on, the contact became less and far in between until one day Cristina woke and realized that it had been more than six months that she had exchanged any greeting to Meredith.

She tried to keep herself busy with work and there was a lot of it to keep her going for the rest of her life, the weight of the hospital was on her shoulders and with great power, comes great responsibility. They had both promised that they wouldn't let this happen but is was so hard to keep promises that they both knew they would eventually break when they declared them to each other. It was a hard pill to swallow knowing that in Seattle everyone was moving forward in their lives, not just within their professional lives, but they were creating futures with houses and babies and vacations while she was a million miles away, she felt like everyone was moving forward while she remained miles behind. But this is what she wanted, she reassured herself in moments that made her question her choices, this is what she lived for, and she had no regrets.

Cristina was stuck in her office once again, she hadn't realized all the paper work involved in being the director of the hospital, she shook her head begrudgingly before he flashed through her mind. He had once denied her the opportunity of being chief resident because he knew she would resent it, she was furious with him at the time, but she soon realized that he saw what she needed before she could even recognize it. He told her she was a surgeon, and being stuck with the responsibility of paperwork and organization would eat her alive and she would end up cracking under the pressure of being anything less than she was; a cardio goddess.

She turned her chair around to face the large bay window behind her desk; a view of the beautiful city outside in the calm of the night greeted her. She picked up a picture she had placed on the mantel of Owen and her on their wedding day, it was the first picture she placed strategically in the middle of two other pictures, it was a picture that gave her a glimmer of hope and a false pretense of solace. She missed him, he had tried to keep in touch with her but she had slowly weaned them both off of any communication; it wasn't fair to him for her to keep him at arms length and prevent him from moving on. She knew if they kept talking and reminiscing that it would give him a little glimmer of hope for the future and that he would live off of that hope forever and it would prevent him from moving forward. They were too far apart and she loved him enough to let him go, though in vain times she wished that he wouldn't be able to replace her. She left so many things unfinished back in Seattle and she wished that one day she would find the courage to go back and tie up the loose ends but the fear of not knowing what happened to what she left behind scared her enough to not make such a bold move.

The people she left behind might have moved on, their lives had changed in her absence and she was afraid if she returned, there would be no place for her in their lives, maybe she had been replaced and was not needed any more and that prevented her from reconnecting and finishing the unfinished business she left behind in Seattle.

She still kept his picture and it haunted her every time she thought that she had found closure in what couldn't be, it wasn't the right place or the right time for them and she didn't know if it would ever be but what she did know was that she wanted him to be happy and prayed that all his dreams would come true, she hoped that someone would one day give him what she couldn't, selfishly because she couldn't live with the guilt of not giving it to him any longer.

She continued to examine the picture in her hand until a sharp knock startled her from her thoughts.

"Hey, Dr. Yang, your still here?" Shane asked

Cristina jumped up from surprise when she saw him duck his head into the office, her jump caused the picture and frame to fall to the ground, and she looked up at him quickly to deflect from the noise.

"Um, yes, I had a lot of paperwork to finish, I think I'm going to crash on my couch in the office or fins an on-call room." Cristina said quickly, adjusting her position on her chair and turned away from the view of the city to face Shane.

He furrowed his eyebrows as a concerned look creped up on his face. "Again?" He asked, "That's four nights in a row, Cristina, your working yourself to death, maybe you should take a break and go home for the night, get a descent nights sleep in your own apartment in your own bed." He stated.

She tried to reassure him with a smile, "I might just do that but right now I'm going to continue working on my write-ups." She answered trying to sound convincingly, and was silently thankful that Shane was in Zurich with her, at least she had someone on her side, someone to help her remember what her life was once like way back when.

"Sure you will." He said while rolling his eyes and mocking her before giving her a smile. "Take care of yourself, I'll see you in the morning." She smiled back and waited for him to leave.

Cristina looked down at the floor and bent over to pick up the fallen picture, it faced backwards and when she turned it around she was perplexed to find that the glass had broken right down the middle, dividing their joined lips and the crack separating the picture into two. She let out a sarcastic bitter laugh, just my luck she thought. Even the universe knows we are a lost cause. She had a sudden sob escape from the back of her throat as she cracked picture frame made her realize that it was truly over, she took it as a sign to let go of his ghost just as she had forced him to let go of her. A few stray tears fell from her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks and landed on the frame, covering it with teardrops until she found the strength to tear herself away from the sight and reluctantly threw the destroyed frame and picture within it away in her trash bin.

As soon as the frame hit the tin, a loud noise startled her from her reverie, the sound of lightening and thunder could be heard through out the hospital and the sound of heavy rain droplets smacking across her window sills made her feel oddly at ease, and the familiarity gave her an odd sense of comfort that she had lost in the two years spent in Switzerland. She pulled off the throw that laid on top of the sofa and laid down on the cozy cushions while wrapping herself in the silk material and willing herself to escape reality for a couple of hours in lue of losing herself in her dreams.

Usually the thunder and rain comforted her but tonight she was restless, twisting and turning in the small sofa to find a comfortable and suitable position, she had finally dozed off for what seemed to be a millisecond before she was started awake from a firework display of thunder and lightening so loud and obnoxious that it lit up the whole city in the still of the night.

She quickly sat up and screamed when she saw a figure standing across the room, behind her desk and in front of the floor to wall windows. She rubbed her eyes, she closed them forcibly and opened them again, and she tried to pinch herself to awaken to no avail.

"I'm dreaming," She uttered to herself, "Cristina its just a dream, your going to wake up at any moment," She closed her eyes again and willed herself to wake up from her slumber, "Its just a dream." Unconvincingly she kept whispering as her resolve diminished and as the figure started walking towards where she sat.

"Oh, My God." She whispered when he neared. "Wake up Cristina." She screamed. And then she saw who it was, saw his face, and let out a defeated sob.

"Dad?" She half asked and half declared as her heart fell to her stomach and she was confronted with the presence of the man who was taken away from her way too early and was the reason she grew up to be a cynic.

He sighed as he studied her, "My little girl," He started, "Look at what a woman you turned out to be, you have made me the proudest man in the world."

Cristina stared at him in disbelief, "This is not real, you're not real." She stated matter-of-factly, "This is not happening, I'm just dreaming you into life because I'm going through a rough patch right now." She reasoned.

"Yes, you are going through a rough patch, I try not to intervene, I try my best to guide you from afar so I don't overstep boundaries and I let you flourish on your own. You were always stubborn and opinionated, you could never be told what to do, you always had to learn it on your own, I could never tell you to do something, even when you were young, you have to come to the realization yourself, and even in my absence, you have not changed, you have just become more bitter and weary of everything around you."

He made his way closer and Cristina gasped, he wore the same blue pinstripe suit that he had on when they were returning home from church that Sunday afternoon, the day when her life changed forever. But it was no longer bloody and ripped to shreds, his face was no longer covered in bruises with blood spatters staining it, he didn't look like the corpse she tried to save with her bare hands, he looked like an angel, his face glowed and had no remnants of any trauma and his suit was unscathed, it looked just as fresh and new as the day he first put it on.

"I stood by and I watched you make a lot of mistakes Cristina, and I refused to interfere, but today I chose to come to you, to make myself known to you and to restore the faith that you lost when I was taken away from you, I thought that in due time those wounds that were inflicted would heal and that you would be able to make your peace with my death and live the life you deserve, but instead you have chosen to sulk in your own misery." His voice was just as strong and mesmerizing as she had remembered and it was hypnotizing to her.

"I love you, you will always be my baby, you are the biggest blessing of my life, and I left behind my legacy in your hands, but I'm here tonight because I need your help, and you need mine. You need to realize that there's so much more to life than work, and I need to get my wings."

"This is not real." Cristina cried out, she stood up and walked over to him, she stood right in front of him. She reached her hand up and tried to touch his face, but her hand went right through him.

"I'm a ghost Cristina, you cannot touch me until I get my wings, tonight you will be visited by three other ghosts, all waiting to get their wings as well, they will show you the past, the present and a future you can choose to have because of your stubbornness or one that you were destined to live."

His figure started to slowly disappear before her eyes, his hand lightly traced her jaw line, "My little girl has grown up into such a beautiful woman," He uttered to her before his ghost diminished and she was left alone.