Chapter 12: Emily's POV

"JJ, wake up."

"Mmmmm… what? No thanks…"

"Seriously, JJ. Get up."

"Fuck off, Emily. I'm sleeping."

I raised an eyebrow and leaned down to kiss JJ's ear softly. Once she'd regained consciousness enough to realise I was trying to wake her, the first thing she'd done was pull the sheets up to her nose and turn her face into the pillow. Besides a tiny bit of her jaw, her ear was the only exposed piece of skin my lips could reach. Slipping my hands back under the covers I experimented by tickling her midsection lightly, evoking a helpless giggle. Gasping between laughs, the sheets rustled as JJ shook her head.

"I don't want to get up! I'm happy right here," she whined.

"JJ, our son is at the door…"

Now it wasn't JJ but Henry who burst into giggles. "Is it time for pancakes?" he asked hopefully.

JJ bolted into a sitting position and pulled the sheets up to her chest in horror before looking down and realising she was still fully clothed. I could guess what she'd been dreaming about. Letting out a rueful puff of laughter, she dropped the sheets and opened her arms, encouraging Henry to climb up into bed with us.

"Morning, baby," she greeted him as he pressed his head into her chest.

He looked up with an annoyed expression on his face. "Mom, I'm not a baby!"

JJ's jaw dropped. "But you let Emily call you that all the time!"

"I like when she does it," Henry sighed, as if that were an obvious distinction she should've made.

"Aww, thanks, baby!" I laughed, tossing JJ a teasing look over Henry's shoulder.

"Ha ha…!" she replied sarcastically. Then she poked her tongue out and I kissed her before she could retract it, sending Henry into peels of laughter once again.

"Pancakes!" he reiterated. "You promised!"

"That we did," I agreed. "How about we let mommy stay in bed a little longer, while you and me get a start on cooking?"

"I can help?!" Henry cried, releasing his mother and grabbing onto me.

I suppressed an evil grin. If I'd known that was all it took to steal Henry away, I'd have done it years ago. "Course you can!" I answered, throwing one arm around him and one around JJ. "And I bet mommy would like a coffee, wouldn't she?"

"Mommy would love a coffee," JJ replied, pressing a kiss into the juncture between my neck and shoulder. "Until then, though, she's going back to sleep…"

"I think that's our cue to go, baby!"

When Henry reached the kitchen he started hopping on his toes to avoid prolonged contact between his skin and the cold tiles and I felt my heart swell at the intimacy and simplicity of the sight.

Waking up next to JJ in her own bed, calling Henry 'our son' for the first time, seeing him dart around the kitchen on tip toe… I was filing every instant away as a memory to be retained and treasured for all eternity. No matter how many other wonderful things I was going to experience with these two, these were the first moments, the first times it was real. We were a family. JJ and Henry and I. Nobody else mattered.

"Mum, what's taking so long!" Henry called, hopping as he shoved his feet into a pair of red and green dinosaur socks.

"I'm coming," I answered happily.

I'm just making sure that I never, ever forget this moment…

JJ got out of bed once she smelled the coffee brewing, and I noticed with some amusement that she too hopped across the cold kitchen tiles. As she pulled herself up onto a bar stool, I retrieved the coffee pot and a mug and came up behind her, laying a kiss at the base of her neck before pouring her a drink.

"Good morning, gorgeous," I chirped, feeling fundamentally unlike myself.

I was never this happy at this time in the morning. Hell, it was barely 9am—I was rarely even awake at this time on a Saturday! I guessed that was little boys for you. It didn't matter that Henry hadn't got to sleep 'til after midnight because sleep was boring! Who would want to sleep when real, waking life was so incredible?

"Good morning yourself," JJ replied, gratefully accepting the proffered coffee. "How are the pancakes coming, Henry?"

From another bar stool, which we'd dragged a safe distance from the stove but close enough to observe, Henry yelled, "Great, mom!"

A plate full of pancakes already sat on the counter beside him, but the batter wasn't yet finished.

I left JJ with her coffee to make up the last few.

"Mum's cooking," Henry explained, "But I helped make the wet stuff to put in the pan."

"Oh?" JJ asked, grinning. "And is it good?"

"Dunno yet," Henry laughed. "We were waiting for you!"

"It'll be good," I promised. "Pancakes are my specialty."

"Flour, milk, sugar, eggs…?" JJ ticked all four ingredients in my 'special' pancakes off her fingers teasingly.

"They're special because Henry and I made them," I declared, and that earned a laugh from both of them.

"You're special," JJ mocked.

"Where special meansI have special needs, right?"

"I have a special need for you," JJ replied, dead serious, and I laughed so hard that Henry joined in and nearly fell off his hair in the process.

"For that, you get the biggest pancake," I replied as I switched off the stove and gathered the fruits of our labours. "After Henry, of course," I amended once I saw his face.

JJ gave her son a mock-bereaved look and then nodded. "How many pancakes do we get each?"

"I would like all the pancakes," Henry announced.

"Nice try, buddy—hold on." I lifted Henry and his stool across the kitchen to where JJ was sitting and then brought breakfast over. "Are you proud of my newfound domesticity? Nigella Lawson, eat your heart out!"

"I like it," JJ answered, and I leaned down to kiss her as she lifted her head toward me.

"Come on, are you guys gonna kiss all the time!?" Henry cried, but he shut up once he had a stack of pancakes in front of him.

"How about I kiss you too?" I suggested, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Henry wiped it off melodramatically. "Grosssss, mum!" he exclaimed, but he was smiling hard.

"Hey, Henry…" JJ hedged, leaning forward onto her elbows and meeting her son's eye purposefully. "It's important to me that you understand I love Emily lots and lots."

"I do, mom," Henry insisted through a mouthful of pancake.

"What I mean is, we're probably going to kiss and do all sorts of mushy things you'll think are gross," she explained. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah," Henry admitted after some thought. "It's, like, your parents' job to embarrass you, right?"

Parents, I repeated to myself as JJ laughed and the two of them tucked back into their breakfast. We are Henry's parents. He really, honestly thinks of me as his parent. Oh my god.

This train of thought spun rapidly out of control, mostly bringing up questions such as:

Does this make my mother Henry's grandmother?

If so, should I tell her she now has a grandson?

Does my mother even remember what children look like?

Maybe I should call her and check...

And then there was the team. I was fine with JJ hiding an embarrassing (but secretly adored) hickey from her colleagues, but we were going to tell them about us now that we'd moved in together, right?

Or what that pre-emptive?

JJ had definitely asked me to move in but staying over for a night was hardly the same thing. I was going to have to start bringing clothes and other essentials over from my apartment. Which brought up the question of how much to bring. Had JJ thought this through, logistically speaking? Did she want me to sell my apartment or hang on to it? Would I be living out of a suitcase here or well and truly a member of this household?

The weight of these questions dampened my spirits somewhat and I fell into silence as JJ and Henry chatted beside me. I know JJ noticed my withdrawal but she waited until we'd eaten to confront me.

"Henry, do you wanna go get ready for your shower?" She suggested. "I'll be in to help you in a minute. Brush your teeth—properly."

Henry hopped off his stool obediently and JJ turned toward me, knocking back the dregs of her coffee. I poured her another without having to be asked. I knew JJ was never really awake until she'd had two or three. I'd seen the evidence on those mornings we'd awoken together in New Orleans.

"I love seeing you in my kitchen," she told me, trailing a finger down my forearm thoughtfully. "You know, wearing pyjamas and cooking... I love that you seem at home here."

"I'm at home with you," I answered honestly. "It doesn't matter where we are."

"And Henry?"

"I have never been this happy in my life, Jen, and it has everything to do with you and that little boy, our son." A note of doubt still edged my voice as I said those words, but JJ nodded.

"Our son," she repeated, kissing me softly.

"Our son," I breathed against her lips.

"There must be things you need to get from your place," JJ commented, and I was endlessly relieved to know she'd been thinking about it. "I'm going to going through some of my old things too."

"You don't need to get rid of anything because of me," I argued.

"Yes, I do." JJ's tone was unsentimentally dismissive. "There are so many things here that aren't worth hanging onto. I want to make space for new memories. And for you."

"What if we found a new place?" I suggested softly. "A place that was just ours and we would only bring with us the things that we want to be a part of our life now."

"I think it's a really nice idea, Em," JJ told me, "But I feel like it's a bad time to uproot Henry. There's a lot going on for him right now. You know, a lot for him to get his head around."

"Have you spoken to Will?"

JJ shook her head and took my hand without meeting my eye. "I don't want to…"

"The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be," I hinted. It wasn't that I had any desire at all to see him again, or for JJ to have to, but we needed Will to be on our side. We couldn't risk alienating Henry's father any more than we already had. "Melissa called me a few days ago. She and Chloe are back with him—on a probationary basis. He hasn't talked to her about what happened but she thinks he regrets it."

"I honestly don't know, Em," JJ sighed. "I didn't think it'd be that bad. Can't we wait?"

"Sure," I replied, biting my lip.

But when JJ stood to go and help Henry with his shower, I dialed Will.

Will arrived the next weekend and I met him alone for lunch on Saturday. I told JJ I was meeting Morgan to help him find a birthday present for his mother. Of course, I cleared the lie with him first. Once I explained my reasons, he was more than happy to back me up if JJ asked him about it. He also volunteered to threaten Will for me, but I thought that might be counterproductive.

"I take it JJ doesn't know I'm in DC," was the first thing Will said as he took the seat opposite me. I must have looked nervous.

"I was hoping we could sort this out just between us," I answered truthfully.

Will gave me an odd look, then nodded and reached for a menu. "I gotta say, I admire that."

I held in a sigh of relief. "I don't want hurt or upset either of you more than necessary. I know we got off to a bad start…"

"We didn't get off to a bad start. We've known each other for years," Will argued. Still, his voice was level and his eyes were focused on the menu, so I tried not to worry. It wasn't like he was going to have another outburst in public and even if he did, I could handle that as long as JJ and Henry were safe at home. "Emily, what I want to know is, did you want her all that time? When me and Jayj were dating, when we got married, when Henry was born…?"

A revealing blush crept up my cheeks. "I never said anything to her," I swore. "You'd already been divorced for over a year when we… I didn't even tell her I was gay in case she figured it out."

"You're telling me you hung onto hope for years even though she didn't have a clue you were into her," Will replied disbelievingly.

"No," I answered, hiding the majority of my face behind the menu. "I didn't have any hope at all. So I encouraged her to go out with you, I helped her shop for things you'd both need when Henry was born—I even went to her prenatal classes with her when you couldn't make it up from New Orleans. I didn't expect anything. I just wanted to be around her."

"I never thought she'd go for me either," Will admitted. "But damn, she makes you want to try, doesn't she?"

He smiled and it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. We ordered drinks and our meals and fell into a companionable silence.

As the waiter returned with two glasses of wine, he admitted, "Melissa tore me apart over what I said to you." Will's voice was gruff, apologetic, and I nodded, waving my hand in what I hoped was a casual manner.

"Forget that," I answered. "You were angry."

"No. I agreed to come because I know I need to apologise. You gotta let me," Will insisted.

"Apologise to your son," I countered. "Not right now, obviously. I didn't tell Henry or JJ that you were here, in case my calling you just made things worse. But at some point you should talk to him. We told Henry that you were upset and didn't mean to say what you said, but he was pretty upset himself that night. We don't want him to start thinking you're a bad guy."

Will appeared torn between guilt and relief. "I saw how happy he was with you," he offered, as if in recompense. "I was jealous…" He coughed awkwardly here. "I assume things are still going well with JJ or you wouldn't be here talking to me."

I nodded, unable to keep the grin from my face now. "It's amazing," I confessed. "And I got a call from Melissa too. I'm glad she and Chloe are back at home."

Will nodded and scratched the back of his neck in a gesture of embarrassment. "I'm going to have to do a lot to win back their trust."

"You are doing a lot," I told him, with more certainty than I felt. "Everything will be fine. And I— I really appreciate your being here." I took a deep breath. "I hope I'm not going to ruin it now but I think I should be honest and tell you. I've moved in with JJ and Henry."

I noticed the way his shoulders stiffened at that but, to his credit, Will did his absolute best to hide his discomfort. "That's great," he congratulated me. "I, um… Henry's okay with that? I mean— I'm sure he is. He… Well, you… He likes you."

"Henry's been cheering for us since the beginning," I explained, taking a much-needed gulp of wine. "You're his dad and, of course, he loves you to death as well, but I think he sensed that his mom was lonely. And I feel really lucky, just extremely blessed, that I can make her happy."

"Well," Will replied, "I wasn't never confident she was happy with me, even right after we were married. So I guess you're one up on me already."

"This isn't a competition," I reminded him. "Honestly, all I want is to be with JJ and Henry. And you have Melissa and Chloe, so…" It was a weak argument even to my own ears. I may have liked those two, but Henry and JJ were irreplaceable—at least to me. "I called you because I wanted to resolve what happened the other week and because I think you deserve to know that what's happening between JJ and I is serious. There's a lot we still need to figure out, logistically, but if I could I'd marry her tomorrow. And, without excluding you from the picture, Will, we consider Henry our son."

The waiter returned with our food then, giving Will had an extra minute or two to consider his response. "It's weird," he admitted, "…Thinking that Henry's going to grow up with you and JJ. I mean, assuming you don't break up—"

"I think you can safely assume that," I said and, to my surprise, Will nodded acceptingly.

"Yeah, I guess he can…" he agreed. "What I mean is, it's weird for me to think that by the time Henry goes to college he'll have spent more time with you than me. I guess I thought I could always sort of be his dad from a distance and no one would ever challenge that. I'd just send JJ a cheque for child support every so often and that would be enough to buy my place as his father for life."

"You're still his dad, Will."

Will shook his head. "I know I am, but I'm not his parent. I'm more of a parent to Chloe than Henry. Most of the time, he's here and I'm in New Orleans… I've already missed out on a lot."

I bit my lip briefly. My meal was sitting, hot, in front of me, but I didn't touch it, and Will didn't move to start eating either. My heart was beating fast.

"About that," I hedged, keeping a close eye on the change in Will's expression, "This is just something to think about… But if you consent, I can adopt Henry as a second parent. I'd be able to legally make decisions about his life and welfare, and if something happened to JJ he'd be able to keep living with me without any additional legal work."

"Would you want him?" Will asked. He looked surprised but definitely not angry, which was a strong positive. The matter was on the table. "I mean, if JJ died, would you really wanna raise Henry alone? It's not like he'd have no one if you didn't. I'd take him. And me and JJ have both got big families who'd wanna help."

"I'd want him," I swore, only hoping he could hear how badly I meant it. "Will, I'd need him. I couldn't lose JJ and then Henry too."

Will nodded soberly. "If it's what JJ wants I'll sign whatever it is, or if I have to go to court with you, I guess I'll do that." He shrugged, seemingly embarrassed by the way my face must have been lighting up. "Henry deserves two parents that are gonna be around for him. I'm not saying it's not going to take some getting used to, especially when I have to see both of you together or with him… But I haven't got any reason to say no that isn't rude and unfair. I'm sorry, Emily."

When I got home I couldn't explain to JJ why I was so happy without explaining the fact that I'd met up with Will. I just told her I'd found a really, really great present while shopping with Morgan. And it was something she was going to love too.