Authors Note: I know I know I KNOW!!! I am unforgivably late with this chapter, as I am with my other fics too…but there a few factors and they all come down to three things. College, Language barriers (am trying to learn Dutch, German, French and Greek) and the fact I had to wait for about 2 months before I got glasses…yippee no headaches anymore!! So I was actually struggling with writing this chapter, the glasses are meant to help me with my work on the comp and reduce eye-strain...and they do work, the fact they cost me 200 Euros and that is basically a month and a half of Student pension down the drain, means that they were worth it. Oh…I also work full time in a factory now…it wipes me out, egh. My muses have been complete flimsy pests lately as well so inspiration seems to centre on personal memoirs and Life Stories…argh I could really HURT them!! This Chapter is really short, but the next one WILL be longer and will come out sooner as I already have quite a bit written up. Hopefully then I will be saved from flying sharp objects directed at me from readers and such…BLAME COLLEGE!!! Also, my comp has had a type of blockade which prevents me from accessing email, interactive sites and…of course…uploading stories and doing my own website. Blast it!!! Chapter Responses:

Pimpernel: Oh I DID hate Gandalf in that chapter…and usually I simply worship the wise old Maiar, guess I was a liiiiddle too high on me sugar that day. Thanks for reviewing and PLEASE forgives mesa…I am SO sorry. *does a puppydog look*

ds: Oh thank you SO much. To get appreciation like that really gives one a boost. I'll try and sic these chapters out faster for you now and jeez I am bad…very bad…never thought it would take 5 bleedin months to update.

C. Jack: *snickers* oh please…not the Fondu Pot story! *laughs and hugs* I miss you heaps ye know and thanks for reviewing…oh…and to all others…Jack here…AKA Bob, is a really good friend currently living a few thousand km away from mesa…I miss him heaps and really need to write to him or I will lose my head or limb I know. If anyone wants to know the story behind the Fondu Pot…just ask Bob through me. *hugs again* Still on Arwen (Liv)? OK…I think I may be able to get a picture of her from Orli if I get to Mexico somehow…erk…oh well. You are SO stuck on her I SWEAR!!!

Mary: Aww thanks for reviewing…cute and Charming? Well well, I shall do my best to keep it that way *snickers and envisions a usually charming Sam in a rough tumble with Merry* heh…charming indeed.

Sarah: *hides* Meep! I do apologise profusely yet again…but am VERY happy this makes you laugh, tis was mine aim after all *winks*.

TheirCoolMom: I'm writing I'm writing I'm WRITING!!! *sweats and pants* Oh please give an overworked gal a breath…and review again?

Raven: *stares* er…girl…you need to finish that book asap…Strider is knocking on MY door now and Muse #4 is being…nice *shudders* help? Thanks for reviewing…will chat sometime soon!

ari: oh thank you muchos…funny is the best way to describe this and I'm glad you think so too…gives my ego a little boost *puffs her chest up* I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my 8 brothers and sisters, my numerous cousins and my grandma for NOT helping with this…no offence, but you aren't nutty enough. *smiles*

Lady Baggins of the Shire: Oh WOW! I LOVE your review…it made ME laugh just by reading. And seeing as I still live with my parents, they had a good laugh too and I am chuffed like you won't believe. And Pen is your cousin? Whew…need to work on my social skill before I have you too banging down my door…how's her expresso going?

Oddwen: *is now a blushing mess* You don't have any idea what reviews do to me…I am so happy. I just wish I got so many on my longer NON-Mary Sue story *weeps a little* Why don't people ever read past the first chapter?

Pen-Nameless Girl: OK…you and your cousin are nuts!! Care to come over? And yes…more Merry and Sam coming right up and..aww…a bit of romance too. The very looong awaited romance. *sighs* I'm a hopeless writer.

frodolives14: Aw thanks…reviews like this are even better…makes me feel real warm and fuzzy. Thankyou tons…hope you forgive me…really….um…please?

Tesekian: Ah my loyal reviewer..I bet you have forgotten about me huh. So SO sorry…I really am…oh jeez I really need a life. Please forgive me and review again sometime…am looking forward to it all the time…luv ya. Thanks.

Sooo many reviews…and long reviews are even better *huge hint wink*. And for some completely shamless plugs…check out my other stories too? I need some reviews to boost my confidence and to push past my writers block…critique is always welcome, just no flaming please…I can respect critique but not flames.

Onto story…


* * * *


6: Poking Logic

Estella Bolger and Rose Cotton pottered about the hole at Bag End, not really doing much except cleaning up a few dishes and tidying up things strewn around from Pippin's rampage. Once that was all done, Rose had resorted to dusting all the shelves while Estella baked another two pies for the return of the search party. Once they were cooked and cooling, the two then started cleaning up the various bedrooms and closets and any other corner they may have found to be 'lacking in the female touch' until there wasn't a spot to be seen and some things were so shiny they were blinding. And only two hours had passed.

"Well, what now?" Rose held a cloth and was unnecessarily wiping at an unseen spot on the mantelpiece, while at the same time trying to win a staring match with Estella…and losing.

"I don't know," replied the other hobbit lass, "they should be back shortly though and I know Merry would never pass up the opportunity for fresh plum pie."

"He really likes you, you know." Rose giggled as Estella blushed.

"Sam likes you too as well." She pointed out, making Rose turn pink in turn.

She pouted. "Ella, don't make fun. I was being serious."

"So was I." Was the reply and the younger hobbit turned heel, walking over to the stool near the fireplace and sitting and poking the embers with vengeance. Rose simply smiled shyly and went to the round window, trying to see out into the darkness.

"The stars sure are bright tonight." She sighed, sitting on the window seat and leaning her chin on her hand.

Estella smiled knowingly. "All the better to see him with."

"Sam won't be seen unless he…" Rose stopped and looked at her friend's grinning face with wide eyes. "Not meaning Sam is what I would call…I mean, he isn't…er…"

"Face it, Rose. You like him and he likes you, all you need to do now is wait for your coming of age and…"

"Estella!" Rose half whined and half shouted at the other hobbit, her face going beet red till it looked like it would burst.

The other merely gave a simple shrug and let her knowing smile say it all…that Rose was smitten. "Look, all you have to do is approach him, say something sweet and you'll have the lad wrapped round your little finger." She wiggled her own in the air for emphasis and if one thought that red was where blushing ended, they surely had not met Rose. She was positively glowing.

"Estella please." She ground out through clenched teeth. "Yes he is a pleasant enough fellow and he has quite the taste for my father's ale, but that is no opening for…for…getting together so called. So will you simply drop it?" Rose glared at the back of her friend's head and waited for an answer, sighing in defeat when she only got one word.

"No."

"For crying out…" She huffed and got up from her window seat, stomping over to the archway that led into the kitchen. Estella stayed where she was, pretending to be absorbed in the attention needed chore of poking the fire occasionally while she listened to her friend potter about the kitchen. It was such a chore to poke that she didn't even look up when Rose returned, munching on a piece of their pie and sipping a hot cup of freshly made tea. She had figured out by then that if one were to poke a fireplace properly enough, the job would be done better and more thorough than if one simply poked it haphazardly. It was logical, a certain angle and the poking would make sure the flame was bigger, brighter and warmer. Poking fires was a delicate chore…

"Right! That's it, I'm going after those boys before I lose my mind completely!" After finding that fire poking had a logic, Estella figured it was time to do something else before she went batty. "Do you want to come or stay here?" She asked Rose as she dusted herself off and cleaned up the mess her 'Poking Logic' had made on the hearth.

The other promptly dumped her pie and tea on the table and grinned, walking briskly to the arch that led to the hall. "Thought you'd never ask…I was almost on the verge of having my fourth slice there in complete boredom."

"Fourth??" The younger hobbit stopped in surprised and stared at Rose, slight shocked etched on her face.
The other grinned. "Aye. What else could I do with my time?"

"True." Ella nodded in agreement and rushed to grab her cloak. "Egh, the sooner we get out of this stuffy Hole the better…who knows what trouble those lads got themselves into."

"The Gaffer will know what to do…and Frodo of course." Rose said, tying the string of her own cloak carefully round her neck.

"Yes, but what happens if they fall down a hill or something and get hurt. Us females can help then."

"Do you really think they would really fall down a hill?" Rose asked, as she opened the door and waited for Estella to grab the small pack of supplies she had packed hastily.

"Knowing Merry…yes."

"Ahh." Rose nodded and with that, they were out the door and down the laneway.
Rescuing the lads was an important thing and far more logical than poking a fire…though, Estella thought to herself, maybe if they could invent a longer poke and changed the stone within the hearth…then maybe… She shook her head and mentally slapped herself; at this rate she'd soon be finding logic in how to eat an apple while walking on your hands. Boredom was not an easy thing to conquer…especially with fire logic…

"Argh!!" She threw her arms up in frustration and started stomping her feet. Rose looked worried.

"What is it, Ella?"

She sighed. "Poking logic."

"Pardon?" Rose blinked in confusion.

"Oh…nothing."

The other hobbit just narrowed her eyes and kept walking, eyeing the road ahead of them as they tried to see in the dark.
They walked in silence for a while before one spoke up. "Rose?"

"Yes, Ella?"

"You like Sam, don't you."

"Estella!!"


* * * *


"I refuse to go another step further!"

"But Sam, we must reach the stores before they are ransacked by…"

"Your cousin," Sam interrupted, poking at the ground with his walking stick, "which is why I refuse to go any further. He's more hopeless to control than a trail vine in spring after a rainy day."

"But…"

"I said NO!" the stout hobbit gave the ground a hard poke and lay back where he flopped, no longer caring about the dust on his clothes since the rough tumble back with Merry. Another rough tumble seemed to be coming up rather shortly as Merry was still defending Pippin.

"Frodo!" Merry whined, turning to the hobbit at the head of the group, who was now conversing animatedly to a bush. Merry blinked. "Frodo?"
The older hobbit simply did not hear him, or he had reached that point of pure mindlessness that he had actually forgotten the method of speech and it's practice. Either way, it was a perfect moment for someone to yell 'Just like his Uncle! Cracked he was!'

"Mr Frodo?" Sam had now sat up again and was staring at his master worriedly, still poking his stick into the ground and developing quite a nice and deep rut. The rhythmic movement was giving Merry an eye-twitch. "Mr Frodo," he tried again, "are you okay there?"

When the hobbit yet again did not answer, Sam rose and promptly started marching over, Merry quick on his heels. When the other hobbit started feeling like he was some strange half-haired dog trotting after his master he fell back, trying to look more sedate and composed as they warily approached the still yabbering Birthday Hobbit.

"…so we says to the young 'un, 'do you remember anything at all?' and all he does for a reply is throw dirt at us and nearly uproot the Hole!" Frodo chuckled and Sam was about to tap him on the shoulder when the bush laughed in response.
After the days events, Pippin and his fruitiness and the apparent encroaching insanity upon his master Frodo, this new development of laughing bushes was enough to send Sam screeching and he jumped backwards, crashing into Merry directly behind and sending them both down with their cloaks tangled about them.

"Omph!"

"Oh get off!"

"Me get off? Who weighs like they eat cranberry pies all day?"

"I do not eat all day, you chimney of a hobbit!"

"Hey!"

But even as Merry's fist came flying in direct aim towards Sam's face for the insult about his love of the Weed, duel cries of pain rang through the air and the two scrambled up quickly.

"Father…" Sam stuttered and held his throbbing ear, Merry doing the same.

"I told you once, I told you twice," the Gaffer was frowning at them, "and I will tell you a third time that if you keep this up, you'll get a box in the ears. Next time I'm stringing you up by them!" He gave the now red-faced hobbits a final glare before nodding and striding over to Frodo who had been merely watching the whole exchange with a wry look of amusement on his face.

Sam and Merry watched him go, the former hobbit poking at the ground once again with his stick.

"If you do that once more…I'll string you up by the ears meself." Merry growled, his eye twitching madly.

Sam looked up, then back down at the stick, then smiled.

"Oh really now." He dug another rut in the packed ground.

"Sam…"

"Yes, dear Meriadoc?" the smile turned angelic.

"Do…not…poke!"

"Oh…really?" The stick made the groove even bigger and Merry lunged.

"So, Fredegar, what brings you out so late at…SAMWISE GAMGEE AND MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK!!!"

Frodo sat down on the verge and smiled sideways at the bush. "Watch, they'll have red ears for months after the Gaffer gets through with them." The bush moved in agreement and muffled sounds of glee came from within. Frodo tilted his head. "Aye…they are indeed lovesick and jealous hobbits...poor them, I'm definitely never getting married as long as the Gaffer's around…I like my ears this colour thank you very much." He watched some more and winced at a couple of the Gaffer's swings. "And I wonder what set them off this time?" he said, poking at the ground diligently with his walking stick and wondering if the hole could be made bigger if he pushed it further in this way, or that way…maybe a different angle…?

* * * *

Far away, yet not as far as what many were thinking, as these two hobbit lasses argued about the merits of liking hobbit lads and not liking them mingled in with the power of Poking, along with a brawling duo and talking bushes, a farmer was outside inspecting his personal garden and scratching his head in confusion. His dogs had woken him up and now he was just trying to figure out what in the world had happened.

"Why in blazes are my flowers on their heads?"

* * * *

Tbc…

AN: *whimpers* Review? If I get up to 60 reviews and at least two more on at least one of my other fics, I will update Two Strangers yesterday and this one a week ago. Savvy? *bows and does a Jack grin* Sorry…am a liiiitle hooked on PotC, seeing as I already knew too much about it prior to March anyway and have been learning all the lines since a month ago and it only came out last week here and I have seen it twice already...JOHNNY DEPP!! Jeez guys if you haven't seen Pirates of the Caribbean yet…ye GODS go see it, you'll be laughing till the cows' grandkids come home…and Johnny Depp will make sure the jokes go on forever and a new way of walking and speech will become a trend. *chuckles*
(ps: This is a repost of the chapter…grammer corrections made and certain mix ups solved…crud to my own comp, I'm at a Net Café as a last resort…bloody expensive ye know)