Hey, hey. Max Coffie here. Being a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes, I always wondered how Calvin would fare in an environment like college. I'm not the first person on this site to wonder about that, or to write fan fiction based on that idea. But my story will be different based on the format I'm going to use. I'm writing short little scenes, that are meant to capture meaningful moments in Calvin's college life. They can still be strung along to tell a simple, straightforward story so I promise it won't be confusing. I also promise to put as much heart, humour and mind bending Calvin-esque day dreams as I can. Most importantly, I hope you enjoy this.

Goodbye

She was crying. He had not expected her to cry.

"Hey mom, come on," Calvin said, and he shushed gently in her ear. She did not let go of him.

"Honey, we need to move or traffic will be a nightmare," his father said.

They were standing in front of the expanisve campus, beneath the great brick arch with the words: John Thomas University. Around them, new students said goodbyes to family by recently offloaded vehicles. Many of the goodbyes were teary. Several of the farewells were embellished with heartfelt promises to call. Almost all of these promises would be abandoned within the first week—by the children anyway.

"Dad?" Calvin said, giving his father a look.

"That's enough, dear." Dad loosened Mom's iron-hold around Calvin, and pulled her from him.

"Remember to take your chewy vitamins," Mom said, sniffing. "And lock your doors at night. And don't spend all your time playing video games. And clean up after yourself or you'll get ants. And eat something balanced everyday—don't just order pizza. And change your underwear frequently…"

"Dad," Calvin sighed.

"Give her a break, kid," his father said. "Last time she gets to pester you for at least four years."

"Oh, my boy," Mom said, with a deep sigh.

She stared at her tall, lean son, with his perpetually untidy blond hair and charming boyish looks. He had grown up quite handsome, even if a little thin. Well, she always thought he was too thin. Maybe the girls wouldn't.

"It's just," Mom finally said, "we really never thought you'd make it into college."

"Gee, thanks Mom," Calvin said.

"Only the more reason we're so proud of you," Dad said. "You worked really hard. You set out to prove us and every teacher you've ever had wrong, and you succeeded."

"I was on the waitlist for weeks," Calvin said. "I'm really only here by luck."

"Don't you ever tell yourself that," his mother snapped. She stroked his face. "You deserve to be here as much as everyone else."

Calvin smiled. He looked like he wanted to disagree. Instead, he said, "Thanks Mom. That means a lot."

"I only wish…" she said, and her words trailed off, as her eyes fell on the charm around his neck: a tuft of orange and white, with black stripes.

"Don't start, Mom," Calvin sighed.

His mother rolled her eyes. "Sorry. It's been three years. I thought you wouldn't need that thing anymore. A security blanket is all it is." She smiled through her tears. "But I guess there are some things we never quite outgrow."

Calvin fingered the tuft around his neck, and silence descended upon them for a few moments.

"Well, you're all set. We'll be on our way now," Dad said.

"Call when you're settled in," Mom said.

"We'll see," Calvin said, and when his mother threw him a glare, quickly added, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I will. Goodbye."

His parents sat in their tired, old sedan and drove off. Calvin stared after them until the car rounded a corner, and drove out of sight. He turned around to face the campus.

"Well, buddy," he said. "What should we do first?"

The large, anthropomorphic tiger next to him said with a wide grin, "Check out the girls dorms!"

"Unpack it is," Calvin said.

Hobbes frowned. "You're no fun."

Together, they started towards their dormitory.

Hello

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Really? Why? What's the problem?"

Hobbes shrugged. "Aren't we supposed to say that here?"

"Not when there isn't an actual problem, Hobbes," Calvin said. "Now help me move this."

The two floated through the infinite blackness in their space suits, propelled by thrusters on their backs. In their background, the earth hung pristine and blue and impossibly beautiful. The sun peeked over its massive curvature, casting a blinding glare.

Calvin floated up to a giant chair, five times his size. "Where should this go?"

"Next to the table, I reckon," Hobbes said, drifting past him to the opposite side of the chair.

"Yes, but which of the tables?" Calvin said.

Above them, two enormous tables—one with a reading lamp, the other with dining mats—hovered in the darkness, their edges gilded with sunlight.

"Reading table," Calvin said. "Who still eats at tables anyway?"

"I don't think that's something that goes out of fashion," Hobbes said.

Their thrusters hissed, as together, they hoisted the chair up. It glided up to join the reading table.

"Well, what's next?" Calvin said.

"Something ornamental, I hope," Hobbes said. "Just because this is a dorm room doesn't mean it has to look like a serial killer's lair."

"Uh oh," Calvin said. "Houston we have a problem."

"I'm not trying to start an argument. I just think—"

"No," Calvin said, pointing. "We really have a problem."

From around the globe, tiny fragments were hurtling in a steady orbit, heading right towards them.

"Those are moving much faster than they should in space," Hobbes said.

"Let's get out of here!" Calvin said.

They started to thrust in the opposite direction.

"I can't help but feel like this is a futile attempt," Hobbes said, as the fragments reached them. Glinting pieces of metal, and cable, and plastic flew past them.

"Maybe we should thrust towards the earth, and out of their path," Calvin said.

"Or maybe we should thrust away from the earth, and out of their path," Hobbes said. "We wouldn't want to get caught in free fall by accident now, would we?"

"Oh Hobbes," Calvin said, grinning in his helmet. "What's the fun in that?"

So they thrust closer to the earth. Minutes later, they were plummeting down, engulfed in flames.

"You are the worst space commander ever," Hobbes said.

"Better me than you," Calvin said, sticking out his tongue.

They started to squabble.

The door to the dorm swung open. Calvin whirled around from his place kneeling in the swivel chair.

"What's going on here?" the sandy haired boy in the door said.

Calvin's clothes were strewn all over the dorm, the mattresses were propped up against the walls, the bed planks were on the floor, and the ceiling fan was on too high, throwing scraps of packing paper in a swirl around the room.

"Hello." Calvin smiled sheepishly, and pointed at the only upright thing in the room. "I brought a chair."

How you doin'?

Calvin followed his dorm mate, Jeremy, through the crowded lawn and into the fraternity house. The music was even louder in here. Dubstep pounded against the walls. Whoever had been put in charge of the strobe lights had gotten too enthusiastic, and Calvin was certain he would suffer his first epileptic attack before the night was through. Maybe some of the other kids were already suffering seizures, judging by their violent writhes to the music, and the way their red cups spilled cheap beer with every movement.

"It's everything I imagined," Calvin yelled over the music, and then muttered, "And that might not be a good thing."

"—Ingle!" Jeremy yelled back.

"What?" Calvin said.

"Min—!" Jeremy yelled again.

"Huh? Shingle?"

Jeremy made a circular motion with his finger.

"Oh, mingle," Calvin said. "I'm not really good at—"

But Jeremy was already disappearing into the crowd, thrashing to the music.

Calvin just sort of stood there as people moved and danced around him, a rock in a rushing stream.

"Well," Hobbes said next to him. "What now?"

"I think this is where we look for a drink," Calvin said.

"We're under aged," Hobbes said.

"Everyone here probably is," Calvin said. "When in Rome…"

"Oh, sure. Because that doesn't sound like every peer pressure justification ever," Hobbes said, putting his hands behind his back and looking at the ceiling innocently.

Calvin sighed. "Fine. We can get cups and pretend to sip."

A minute later, they were standing against the wall, red cups in hand, witnessing the hormone-fuelled mayhem that was a college frat party.

"Ugh," Hobbes said, after a pretend sip. "I let it touch my lips. Gross. Why anyone would prefer this to a tall glass of Peppy Cola is beyond me."

"I don't think it's about the taste, Hobbes," Calvin said.

A pretty brunette broke out of the crowd, and danced her way up to Calvin. She started to gyrate on him.

"You dog," Hobbes said, with a grin.

The girl raised a brow. "You're cute. How you doin'?"

Calvin leaned in. "Pretty good. You?"

The girl giggled. "How wasted am I?"

Calvin blinked at her for a moment. "Um…I don't know. How wasted? Is-is this a game?"

The girl made a face, rolled her eyes, and danced back into the crowd.

"A tongue of silver, that's you," Hobbes said.

"Oh go eat a shoe," Calvin grumbled. "We need to get out of here."

"What are you thinking?" Hobbes said. "Teleportation, or super sonic speed?"

"Whichever makes for a more dramatic escape," Calvin said.

Hobbes said, "Super sonic speed, it is."

Calvin's clothes transformed into a black spandex suit and a crimson mask and cape materialized. A white 'S' faded onto his chest.

"Stupendous man," Calvin said, "Stupendous speed."

He took a first step…

It was like the world was in slow motion. Every dancer was trapped mid-writhe, and every spilled droplet of beer twinkled in the air like jewels. Calvin moved between them like a bullet, his blond locks of hair rippling gently, his cheeks warping from the aerodynamic drag, his entire body wrapped in blurred duplicates of himself.

"Will be home safe in point-three seconds," he said, as he approached the doorway. "Point-two seconds. Point-one seconds."

Somehow, one person was not moving in slow motion—a petite brown haired girl holding two cups. She stepped between Calvin and the door.

"Oh sh…" Calvin began.

They crashed to the floor, and her drink went splashing everywhere.

"Hey," the girl cried. "Will you watch where you're going?"

"You were defying physics. That's not my fault," Calvin said, getting off her, and wringing his soaking shirt.

The girl froze to stare at Calvin.

Calvin looked up to stare back.

"You've got to be joking," the girl said. "Calvin?"

Calvin's eyes widened. "Susie Derkins? We're in the same college?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"How awesome is this?" Calvin laughed.

But Susie didn't seem amused. "Are you seriously, freakin' kidding me? No. No. Just no." She stood up.

"What?" Calvin said, rising up too.

"Just no!" Susie said, and she walked away in a huff.

"She sure seemed excited to meet you," Hobbes said.

"It was nice to see you again," Calvin yelled, and waved after her.

I'm Fine

Calvin opened the bottle of gummy vitamins, and popped one into his mouth. He put the bottle on his bedside table, and swung his feet into the sheets. He clicked the lamp off.

"Gummy vi'amins, huh?" Jeremy slurred in the next bed, wasted.

"Yeah," Calvin said.

"How do you stop yerrrrself from eating aaall of 'em at once?" Jeremy said.

"The knowledge that vitamin overdose can kill you helps," Calvin said.

"Oh?" Jeremy said. "I din' know that."

"It's called hypervitaminosis," Calvin said. "So…you know, don't stuff your face with chewy vitamins."

"Ohhh…" Jeremy said, and his words transitioned into a snore.

"He's a charmer," Hobbes said, beside Calvin. He turned around and curled up. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hobbes," Calvin said.

Calvin stared up. He could barely see the ceiling in the darkness. After a few moments, he nudged Hobbes.

"Hey, you asleep?"

No response.

Calvin nudged Hobbes harder. "Don't make me pull on your tail," he whispered.

"Don't make me maul you in this bed," Hobbes growled back, and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

Calvin sighed, and rubbed his eyes. He picked up his phone from the bedside. The screen glowed 3:45 AM at him.

He got out of the bed, and stepped out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he heard retching down the hall. Though the hall was lighted, the kitchen at the end of hall was not. The person in the kitchen was shrouded in the darkness, bent over the sink. As Calvin drew nearer, the person looked up. It was Susie. Although he almost didn't recognize her: what with the messy hair, red eyes, and dried spittle at the corner of her lips.

Susie in turn noticed Calvin's pyjamas, and put two and two together. "We're in the same building? Oh come on," she groaned, and then dropped her head to throw up again.

"If you want the ideal college experience, you should do that into a toilet bowl," Calvin said.

"Wouldn't have made it to the bathroom. Kitchen was nearer," Susie croaked. "What are you even doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," Calvin said.

"No, I mean what are you doing here," Susie said. "In college. I remember you being dumber than a sack of bricks."

"Wow," Calvin said, scratching his hair. "And I remember you being a lot nicer. Suppose people change."

Susie threw up some more, slid to the floor, and sighed. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm not having a great evening."

"Lucky for you, it's morning," Calvin said.

When Susie didn't retort, Calvin added, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she replied, and run her hands through her hair again and again.

"You sure?" Calvin said. "You look anything but fine."

Susie took a deep breath. "It's my birthday. Well, last night it was my birthday. My boyfriend didn't even call. My boyfriend, who should've been here in John Thomas with me, but decided to go to Florida State instead, whilst assuring me it had nothing to do with the fact that his ex was admitted there too. Do you know I could be in Harvard right now?" she snapped.

"I didn't."

"Well, I could have. But he changed his plans last minute, and I got stuck here with the rest of sub-par America."

Calvin didn't say anything.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you any of this," Susie said, rubbing her forehead. "Maybe it's the alcohol talking."

"I'm sorry your boyfriend is a jerk," Calvin said. "You turned out kind of pretty." He chuckled. "Even if a bit mean. And I know you're really smart. So, if you ask me, he's the stupid one, not you."

Susie stared at Calvin for a moment. "Okay," she said, "what are you playing at?"

Calvin blinked. "Huh?"

"Kind words? Logical reasoning? Is this some kind of trick? Are you going to pull out a water balloon any second and drench me? Are you going to yank my hair?"

"Water balloon? Yank your hair?" Calvin made a face. "I'm seventeen, Susie, and we're in college."

Susie narrowed her eyes at him.

Calvin raised a brow. "If you want, I can play 'who's gotcha nose' to make all of this more familiar."

"Sorry. You're just…different," Susie said.

"Yes," Calvin said. "I get that a lot now." He stood up, dusted the seat of his pants, and said with a smile. "See you around Susie."

She watched him walk away.

Well, that's it for Chapter 1! Did you like it? Hate it? Any questions, opinions, suggestions, criticisms? I'd love to hear from you. So hit me with a review on your way out. I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks! And until next time...