The last thing I need right now is another story to worry about, but I was waiting for my plane the other day and didn't want to re-read the last couple of chapters of my other two stories to get into them again, so I decided to jot down this idea I had since the horrible finale aired. It's my take on what could have been.
TM&TM's Wedding
Ted's and Tracy's wedding didn't at all resemble the big wedding Ted had fantasized about when they first started dating, and instead of a large reception, they simply retreated back to McLarens for a few more drinks.
Barney was watching Ted and Tracy having their first dance to a song from the jukebox, with Marshall and Lily swaying as well.
"I never thought we'd see the day." Robin commented as she sat down next to him.
"Ted's finally married." Barney nodded, "took him long enough."
"I know right? Who would have thought that Ted, of all people, would have two kids before finally tying the knot."
"Not me, that's for sure." Barney turned away from the dancing couples and eyed his ex-wife instead. They hadn't seen each other in forever, not in person that is. She seemed to be everywhere these days, anchoring the news, hosting events, and just being famous.
"Never thought I'd see the day of you becoming a dad either." Robin said, while turning her head towards him.
"Me neither."
They were silent for a moment and Barney realized that they didn't really have anything to talk about anymore, he hated it and just started rambling.
"Her name is Ellie. Her mom was overwhelmed with everything and signed her parental rights away…she was still in College, and hid the pregnancy from her family."
Robin pulled an eyebrow up, "I see some therapy sessions in her future."
Barney ignored her and kept talking, "I didn't even want her, you know? But then…holding her for the first time changed everything. I love her so much, it's indescribable."
Robin nodded, "I'm really happy for you Barney."
He noticed the strain in her voice and realized that this conversation wasn't easy for her.
"Two more Glen McKenna 35." He instructed Carl to break the silence.
"So can I get a selfie and an autograph?" he asked.
It made her laugh, "you've got plenty of pictures with a younger, hotter version of me, I would just use those to brag."
"Nah." He moved in and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close, while getting his phone out.
Her smile seemed forced, and he starred at the picture for a while.
"What's wrong?" he finally asked when he looked up.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"You are so…solemn."
"You aren't exactly the spontaneous, crazy guy you used to be either."
He thought about it for a second, she was right. Caring for Ellie and the lack of sleep had made him lame. Something he had once vowed he'd never be.
"You know what, let's be our old selves for tonight." He proposed.
"What do you mean?" she asked while sipping on her scotch.
"Ellie's spending the night at my moms, it's the perfect night to have an awesome adventure."
"Barney…"
"Come on Robin, when was the last time you really had fun? Let's just let loose and enjoy ourselves."
"How?" she asked.
"Laser Tag? Clubbing? Cigar Lounge? Shooting Range? Strip Club? Your choice Scherbatsky."
"We are at Ted's wedding reception, we can't just bail." She replied.
"Please, Lily and Marshall got a babysitter that only stays until ten, and Ted and Tracy are spending the first night in ages away from their kids, they will want to get out of here quickly too. Come on Scherbatsky."
Robin was watching the others for a moment before she turned back towards him, "okay, let's do it, let's make this a night to remember…or not."
"Challenge accepted!" he exclaimed and slammed some bills on the counter to pay for their drinks.
…
"THIS is your version of a wild night? You are getting old Robin." Barney muttered while they waited in line to get ice-cream.
"I've been craving this for months." She defended her decision to come to Times Square and getting a scoop from this particular ice-cream parlor.
"Why didn't you get yourself some sooner?" he asked.
She shrugged, "counting calories mostly, knowing you are on national television each night will make you super conscious about what you eat."
"That's insane Robin." He shook his head, "you look amazing, an ice-cream cone every now and then won't change that."
"Says the guy who is always judging girls by their appearance and body-mass-index." She retorts.
"Hey, that's not true."
"It used to be true."
"I changed, you know that."
"I thought I did."
She turned away, and he sensed that he should better let her comment slide if they wanted to have a fun night.
"So which one should I get?" he asked instead.
…
"You have the worst aim I've ever seen." Robin teased him once they had arrived at the shooting range and had fired their first couple of rounds.
"Shut up, not everyone grew up playing with guns." He shot another round, missing once again.
"Are you trembling?" she asked amused.
"No." he defended himself.
"You are scared, aren't you?"
"I've got a kid at home Robin, I shouldn't be risking my life like this."
"The only life that's at stake right now is mine, who knows where your next shot will end up." She put her own gun down and came over, "I'll show you."
He handed her his gun and watched her as she positioned herself, "see how I keep my arms steady?"
He nodded, they were still wearing their clothes from earlier and seeing Robin shooting the gun with her tight dress was extremely sexy.
"Dude, you didn't even pay attention." She accused him.
"Yeah I did."
"But to the wrong part of my body."
He smirked, "you do look super hot in that dress."
She shoved the gun into his hands, "your turn."
He missed once again.
"Seriously, what am I doing wrong?" He asked. He had felt as if he was pulling of a James Bond move.
"You should probably take the jacket off for starters." She advised.
He did, followed by his tie.
"And now?" he asked as he rolled his sleeves up.
"Take the gun."
She stepped behind him and let her arms trail down his until they reached his hands, "you've got to stand still, okay?"
He nodded, but couldn't concentrate on the target at all. Her entire body was pressed against his, and he could smell her perfume, and feel her breath on his neck.
"Now aim." She instructed him.
Barney pulled the gun up and she kept her hands on his.
"You just got to pull the trigger." She whispered.
He did, and the recoil pushed his own body even more into Robins, who in return wrapped her arms around his waist to steady herself.
"See, that wasn't that bad." She exclaimed excited.
He nodded and put the gun down, before turning his head towards her.
It only took him a few seconds of watching her to make up his mind that he would kiss her.
He turned around, wrapped his arms around her waist, pushed her back a few steps until the wall stopped them, and dove down for a passionate kiss.
It might have been because he caught her off-guard, but Robin responded with equal vigor and they only stopped when they had to come up for air.
"What…what are you doing?" she was out of breath and looked as if her legs were about to give in.
He felt the same way, "I don't know."
And he honestly didn't. What were they doing out and about by themselves? After four years of barely seeing each other, after getting a divorce.
He didn't know what to say and leaned down to kiss her again, tenderly this time.
She didn't push him off and he slipped his tongue into her mouth ones again, meeting hers.
"This is insane." She whispered when they stopped.
"Insanely hot." He grinned.
"Yeah…but also insanely stupid." She replied.
He slowly started to stroke her sides with his hands, "we never had a backslide."
"Barney that isn't an excuse, if we…we would create a huge mess."
"How? We never see each other anyways, and you aren't coming around to gang events anymore either."
He noticed how she swallowed.
"Or is there someone else?" he asked.
She shook her head, "no, there isn't."
"Then let's be stupid for a night Robin." He whispered seductively.
He kissed her again, and felt how she grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him closer.
Deepening the kiss once again he started grinding against her, and she let out a muffled moan.
It made him grin against her lips, but she broke the kiss off, "but not here Barney."
He completely agreed, the staff was probably watching them via the security cameras as they spoke.
"My place?" he asked.
She nodded, and sidestepped him to get her purse.
Once inside the cab he told the driver he'd pay him double if he got them home in record time.
He turned back to Robin and started grinning before he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her into another kiss.
His hand was under her dress far enough that his fingers were brushing her clit by the time the car came to a stop. Both needed a second to regain their composure before they were able to get out of the car.
It was the first time Robin entered the apartment since she moved out four years ago, and Barney could tell that it was intimidating her a little.
He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her again, pushing her towards the bedroom.
He was afraid that she would pick up on the little things lying around that gave away that he was a dad now, and that being reminded of Ellie would freak her out.
It didn't take her long to overcome her initial hesitation and soon they were frantically undressing each other.
"Rough?" he asked, it used to be their code word for sex that almost resembled fighting, he had never had sex like that with any other girl. Mostly because he was pretty sure it would get him arrested if he sprung that onto someone. But Robin had agreed to it right away when he first suggested it, and seemed to be just as turned on by the rawness of it as he was.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Fluegelhorn is still the safe word." He muttered.
"I doubt we are going to start making use of that tonight." She replied.
Barney grinned and pushed her onto the bed, she started struggling right away, trying to get the upper hand, and he was hard within seconds. "Fuck, this will be awesome."
…
And it really was. At some point it went from relapse sex into personal revenge for her, and she started to really be out for his blood. Quite literally judged by the scratch marks on his back and upper arms.
He had never had sex like that before, so raw and real. It had gone on for most of the night, neither one of them wanted to be the first to admit defeat.
Looking back through the open bathroom door and seeing her sleeping soundly in his bed made him grin. They were both completely spent, and he would still be lying next to her if his mom wasn't about to drop Ellie off.
He had taken a quick shower, the water burning in his wounds, and was dressed in sweatpants and a plain t-shirt when the doorbell rang.
Robin didn't even stir and he quickly walked out of the bathroom and into the living room to let his mom in.
"Morning baby girl, I've missed you." He said as he took Ellie from his mom's arms.
"Judged by the numerous times she woke up last night I'd say she missed you too."
Barney grinned and kissed his daughters temple.
"I take it everything went fine?" he asked.
His mom nodded, she had noticed the women's purse by the door.
"Looks like you had a good night."
Barney grinned, his mom would have a fit if she knew that the girl sleeping in his bed right now was Robin.
"Awesome is more like it." He grinned.
"And she's still here, huh?" his mom croaked her neck, trying to see the bedroom.
"Yep, but don't worry, seeing this little one will send her running." Barney looked at his daughter, Robin wouldn't want to hang out with her ex-husband and his lovechild.
"You really shouldn't use your daughter to get rid of one-night-stands Barney. You really shouldn't even have meaningless hook-ups anymore at all." His mom lectured him.
"Didn't you mention some sort of get together you had to attend this morning?" Barney asked.
His mom rolled her eyes and turned around, eyeing the purse once more, "I am surprised a girl who can afford that kind of designer purse is willing to go home with a total stranger."
"Yeah, I will see you Sunday for lunch?" he asked while gently pushing her out of the door.
"As usual. Don't be late."
"I won't. Love you mom, and thanks for watching her last night."
"Love you too wuv, wuv. And you too, Ellie."
Barney smiled and finally closed the door.
He looked at his daughter for a second, her head was leaning against his shoulder and it looked as if she was about to doze off again.
"I am still tired too babe, how about we lay back down? Now there is someone else in the bed I want you to meet. She's a really good friend of mine…well, she's more of an acquaintance… no, that's not the right word. It's complicated. I don't know what we are right now, but she's very important to me, so it's important that you make a good first impression, okay? Can you do that for daddy? No meltdowns for a few hours?"
His daughter was completely unimpressed by his words, and Barney smiled, and walked back into the bedroom.
Robin was still fast asleep and he climbed into bed with her and put Ellie in the middle.
The baby kicked a little and he was afraid that she wouldn't go back to sleep after all but then she finally calmed down and dozed off.
Barney propped himself up and watched his daughter sleep next to Robin. Never in a million years would he have led Ellie sleep next to one of his conquests, but this was different.
Robin was family. Divorced or not, he always thought of her as a part of his family.
He wondered how she would react when she woke up to find the baby lying between them. Guess he would find out sooner or later.
It was sooner than later, Ellie only slept for another half an hour before starting to stir again, and the movement woke Robin up too.
She turned around and a "what the fuck?" escaped her mouth when she saw the infant lying there.
"No swearing in front of the baby." Barney laughed.
Robin rubbed her eyes, "you've got to be kidding Barney."
He grinned even wider and scooped Ellie up, placing her even closer to Robin so that their bodies were touching.
"May I introduce you two? Robin, that's my daughter Ellie. Ellie, meet your… aunt I guess, Robin."
Robin removed her hands from her face and eyed the baby, "hey."
Ellie smiled and tried to reach her face.
The scene melted his heart, and by the look on Robin's face, hers too.
"She likes you." Barney whispered.
Robin didn't respond.
"My mom just dropped her off, and I had hoped she would go back to sleep, but I guess that's off the table now."
"So you put her into bed with us? I could have crushed her Barney."
"First of all, I highly doubt you can move that fast this morning, and secondly, she's more resilient than she looks."
"I could have reached out and accidently pushed the self-destroy patch on her head."
"Relax Robin." Barney scooted closer and placed Ellie onto Robin's chest.
"You won't hurt her." He whispered, while Robin automatically moved her arms around the baby to steady her.
"Barney, you know I don't do babies."
"You are doing great. I will go and make us breakfast, okay? Just holler if you need me." He leaned down and planted a quick kiss onto her lips.
"Barney wait…don't…this isn't funny…" he ignored her and kept walking into the kitchen.
He couldn't help but grin stupidly the entire time while making scrambled eggs. He couldn't believe that Robin was still here, watching Ellie while he made them breakfast.
At one point he peeked into the bedroom to make sure they were okay. They were, Ellie was content just laying there and listening to Robin's heart beat, and Robin was holding her with one hand, while she stroke her cheek with the other.
He grinned even more when he returned to the stove. This was huge, Robin had never even held Marvin until he was much older, let alone was left alone with him.
"She looks just like you." Robin said when he got back into bed with them, putting the tray with their plates down.
"That's what everyone says." He grinned and picked Ellie up.
Robin sat up, wrapped the blankets tightly around her body and inspected the plates he had brought in.
"That looks really good Barney."
"I figured you could use some protein after last night."
Their eyes met and Robin started grinning and took a plate.
"Yeah, sorry about the scratching."
He grinned, "please. I knew what I got myself into when I suggested doing it rough, although I've never seen you so vigorous before."
"You weren't exactly gentle either." She pointed out.
"Guess we both had some anger bottled up, huh?" he asked.
Robin shrugged, "we never really talked about the divorce, you know?"
Barney nodded, and shifted Ellie around so he could eat too.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
Robin shook her head, "nah, why start with the feelings crap now."
Ellie started to complain and Barney put his fork down and held her up over his head, "are you hungry?" he asked while pushing her up and down.
Ellie laughed every time their faces almost touched and tried to hold onto his nose.
It made Robin laugh as well.
"She's pretty awesome, isn't she?" Barney asked.
"Yeah."
"Do you want to feed her?" he asked, glancing over to her.
Robin hesitated for a second before nodding and putting her plate down.
Barney placed Ellie back into Robin's arms, who immediately tried to make her laugh by making a funny face at her, and got the bottle from the nightstand next to him.
"It might still be a little hot." He said while testing the temperature of the milk.
"How long did it take you to learn all this?" Robin asked.
"Nah, I think that's okay." He handed her the bottle, "not that long, but I mean you kind of have to learn fast when you have a screaming newborn demanding food."
He watched her hesitate for a second but then she went ahead and gave Ellie her bottle.
"You are doing really well Robin." He encouraged her.
"This is not what I thought would happen when I decided to attend Ted's and Tracy's wedding."
"Life's full of surprises." He said while eating some scrambled eggs, "Ellie's the best example of that."
Robin looked down at the baby, and nodded, "isn't it crazy that she wouldn't be here if we hadn't gotten a divorce?"
Barney could sense the sadness in her voice, but he didn't know what to say. Her infertility had always been a sore topic they avoided talking about.
"What time is it?" Robin broke the silence.
"Almost ten, why? Do you have to be somewhere?" he asked.
She nodded, "I am flying out to Melbourne tonight."
"Oh wow, really? For how long?"
"Just a couple of weeks, but I will head to Spain afterwards."
Barney nodded, a part of him had hoped that she would be spending more time in New York again.
"That's great Robin, I am so glad you are living your dream."
She nodded but didn't look up.
Barney got Ellie once she was done eating, and Robin left soon afterwards. He stepped out onto the balcony and watched her haul a cap, wondering what might have been if she would be back in New York for good.