As my editor has expressed concerns, I will clarify my typographical scheme here.

Double quotes: Normal dialogue

Single quotes: Usually sarcasm

Single quotes inside double quotes: Someone is quoting someone else inside of dialogue

One (or two) words of italics: With p 0.01, this is emphasis on the word(s); in dialogue that is already in italics, non-italics indicates emphasis

Italics: Thoughts from the current POV; speaking verbs may accompany these; if the POV is not Sweetie, she hears them anyway, although if the thinker knows another language then the words are by default not in Modern Equestrian

Italics inside quotes: Think-speak over the hive mind or over Generosity; if Sweetie is not the POV, the words are explicitly intended for her to hear

Bold: The Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice

Color: I may experiment with color for thoughts on Sweetie's POV's in the future, but I probably will not

"Rarity," Sweetie Belle whined, "I do not need to take any clothes with me! Especially not formal dresses!"

"Oh, but you simply must!" Rarity replied, not even bothering to open her mouth as she held up dress after dress. It had been but two days, yet somehow she was adjusting to telepathy faster than Sweetie Belle.

"Whatever would you do if dear Index introduced you to Princess Celestia without the proper attire? Why, it would be simply scandalous!"

Rarity sucked on her lip as she slipped another dress on over Sweetie Belle's protestations. After the struggle was over, Sweetie Belle fell back to her hooves, sighed, and spared a glance at the frilly, blue dress she had been forced into.

"No, not quite right. And slightly too small for you no–"

"–sugar, flour, eg–"

Sweetie Belle winced but then perked up, recognizing a mind other than her three neighbors' or Rarity's touching her own, only to be left disappointed as it vanished without warning.

Not Index… Please come soon. I cannot take much more of this.

After being expertly disrobed, Sweetie Belle rebalanced herself and quickly took another bite of her breakfast, measly as it was. During this whole affair, a plain old bagel was the only concession Rarity had allowed.

After all, it is not proper to eat away from the table, and it would be dreadful to accidentally stain our clothes, Sweetie Belle thought, putting as much prissiness into her imitation of Rarity as she could. A sigh was her only recourse.

I do love you, Rarity, but sometimes…sometimes… Sweetie Belle shook her head. Sometimes the fashion obsession was just too much. Being sent to her first day of kindergarten in a dress had been bad enough, especially when nopony else even had clothes on, but this was just ridiculous.

I mean, I am going to be learning magic and saving the world! What could I possibly need a dress for? It would probably just get caught on something and cause just enough delay to rip off either for me to die or for somepony else to die saving me.

Or get set on fire in a magical accident. Again.

Taking the one bag that she actually needed and her saddle bags, Sweetie Belle inched toward her fortunately open bedroom door while Rarity was distracted rummaging through her closet and packing. Step by step, one hoof in front of another, she made it out.

As soon as she was out of Rarity's line-of-sight, she bolted down the stairs. Even though Rarity's thoughts had descended into what was probably Deer some time ago, it was obvious she was being pursued from the hoofsteps. Calmly pursued.

Then a miracle occurred.

"Sweetie Belle, I'm here to pick you up."

Putting on extra speed, Sweetie Belle threw open the front door and jumped into the hooves of a semi-surprised looking Index.

"Quick! Retreat!"

"What? Why?"

"Rarity is making me try on dozens and dozens of dresses again!"

"Ah. Well, as much as I'd like to just leave, you really should say goodbye."

"But–"

Index gave her the look. The look adults made that said, "Let's just get this over with and wash our hooves of it."

"Alright…"

The sound of Rarity's hooves on the stairs stopped as Index led the two of them back inside. For a brief moment, Sweetie Belle saw a wild smile on her face, but it faded as soon she saw Index. Instead, she slowly nodded her head.

Annoyingly, neither Rarity's nor Index's thoughts revealed whatever silent message had passed between them.

"Good morning, Index. We were not expecting you so early."

"You do realize I'm a half-hour late?" Index asked, eyebrow raised. "Sorry. The mayor needed a few more words with me than I was expecting, and I had to talk with Mr. Breezy."

Mr Breezy? Sweetie Belle gave Index weird look that went unnoticed.

"Really? Oh, but time does fly when packing. If you would be a dear and give us a few more minutes, we could finish packing her bags."

"Actually, we need to be heading out posthaste. I'm sure Sweetie Belle can manage with what she has for now, and you can send the rest to the castle in a few days. I had a room cleared out last night and some ponies will be here in a few days to facilitate the move. You will be moving as well, correct?"

"But of course! I had the most delightful conversation with Rainbow Dash yesterday before she left, and I must say, most of my reservations flew right out the window."

"Say goodbye, Sweetie Belle. If you still want to escape that is."

Nodding, Sweetie Belle walked up to her sister and nuzzled her chest. "Goodbye, Rarity. I will miss you."

Returning the affection, Rarity said, "Me too, Dearie. Do try to keep the destruction to a minimum."

"Aw, come on. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom cause most of the problems."

"Most being the keyword."

Sweetie Belle trotted back to Index's side. Just after Sweetie Belle felt a spell being powered – probably a teleport – she stuck out her tongue at Rarity. In reward, she got a stunned look from one mare and a laugh from the other.

Then came that weird, lurching sensation of teleportation. And then another. And another. And another in a seemingly endless chain. All throughout the journey, what little there was of it, Sweetie Belle could hear Index's laughter in a surprisingly continuous manner.

Finally, they stopped inside some strange building. The last thing Sweetie Belle had seen was a vast tundra which had borne no signs of habitation. But rather than pondering that sense of dissonance, the thought at the forefront of Sweetie Belle's mind was of an entirely different variety.

"Eww! What is that smell? Dear Ce – Oh gosh, it is vile!"

"Oh," Index said flatly as her horn glowed. "I knew I was forgetting something."

Within a few seconds, the horrid, putrid, wretched stench was gone. Nothing better had replaced it, and there were still traces in Sweetie Belle's nose, but at least she could breathe again.

"Sorry about that. I'm so used to it that I never notice anymore."

"What was it?"

"Look around."

Doing just that, Sweetie Belle found herself in a place that screamed science. There were more flasks of more shapes and sizes than Sweetie Belle could count. Most of them were filled with liquids of various colors, some of which bubbled ominously. A few scattered shelves housed an odd book or two, and one of the many cauldrons appeared to be frozen in the process of overflowing.

"Is this an alchemy lab?"

"Right in one." Index rubbed Sweetie Belle's mane and continued, "I dabble in it on occasion. My material spell components are in the room over, and there's a reason why ponies make the material spell components joke. Well, besides the fact that they also probably smell bad."

"But alchemy is zebra magic."

"Primarily. But there's a lot of it that other species can do. It's a lot slower than unicorn magic, but potent in its own way." Index walked toward an exit and Sweetie Belle fell into step behind her. "Earth ponies pick it up a lot faster and fuller: zebras and earth ponies are more closely related than earth ponies and unicorns."

"Really?"

"Yep. They share a 'common earth ancestor' which shares a common ancestor with pegasi and unicorns."

"Then why do they live in Zebrica?"

Index turned her head to face Sweetie Belle and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, so obviously zebras live in Zebrica. But why is there a Zebrica?"

"Unclear historical reasons. Discord destroyed most of history."

Before Sweetie Belle had proper time to digest that, Index turned a corner. They went into another hallway which ended shortly, but not before branching into six other doors, three on each side.

Above each door was what Sweetie Belle assumed was a cutie mark. The one above the back, right, corner door was a very familiar six-pointed star with smaller stars surrounding it. The cutie mark across from it was a diamond resting on top of a six-pointed star.

Index's trio of books was nowhere to be seen on the remaining four, but Pinkie Pie's and Lyra's cutie marks were recognizable in the middle. The one in the front right was also vaguely familiar, but Sweetie Belle could not quite figure out from where.

Odd. Maybe ponies are still moving in? "Does Archmage Twilight visit here?"

"Frequently. Anyway, since you're going to be staying here for a while, and probably visiting in the future, I made you a permanent room last night."

Index led Sweetie Belle into the room with the star and diamond cutie mark.

"Is that what my cutie mark is going to look like?" Sweetie Belle half-shouted, barely containing her excitement.

Looking around, the room they were in was practically barren, but a room at all was impressive for an overnight job. What furniture existed was made of stone or clouds, and a rather large cloud was tucked away in a corner and embedded into the ground.

"Catch," Index said, tossing a bracelet. It was an odd, uninspired bangle but was definitely magical. "It has the cloud walking enchantment on it. Trust me when I say that clouds make the best beds."

Eyes widening, Sweetie Belle dropped her bag and threw off her saddlebags. Running and jumping, she landed on her new bed just after attaching the bracelet and let out a long moan.

"Like it?"

"Obviously!" Sweetie Belle shouted, thinking the cloud would muffle her like any ordinary bed. Index laughed, if not aloud then in her head. "Er… Obviously. Scootaloo always said how great clouds are and naps in them all the time, but this is just…just amazing."

"Anyway, this whole area is pretty new, so it's not exactly homey, but I've done as much as I could on such short notice. There's a kitchen a bit further down the main hall, and every bedroom has a bathroom. And since it was trivial to do, I also installed a pool nearby."

"Sweet!" Saddle Lake was the full extent of water recreation in Ponyville, and it left much to be desired.

"Back in the other part of the building we teleported into is a fully stocked library" – Sweetie Belle went wide eyed again – "but most of it is high-level reference books for myself. I tried mass buying some other material earlier today, but it's completely unsorted. I don't know if there's anything you'll like or find useful."

"It sounds wonderful either way," Sweetie Belle said, rolling over onto her back. Lazily, she pulled herself up to a sitting position.

Joining her, Index sat down on her right.

"This is the point where I would wrap a wing around you if I were Celestia," Index said. "Well, actually…"

A brief glow of her horn and Index somehow grew wings. And not just wings, but oversized alicorn wings like Princess Celestia's. When one pulled Sweetie Belle in for a hug, she gave a small gasp. Turning, she cautiously touched the base of a primary with a hoof and it twitched.

"That kind of tickles. I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that."

"But…" Words failed Sweetie Belle.

"It's just the polymorph spell. I'll teach it to you when you're older. It lets us make physical, but not magical, changes to ourselves. And others. If you'll remember, I did say I turned myself into a bunny.

"Anyway, as you've chosen the path of a mage, you'll be able to use it to live a nice, long life. Two to three centuries probably." Index added something in what sounded like Zebrican.

Sweetie Belle said something too, but even she found it far from coherent.

"Yes, I was excited when I learned about this too. It doesn't give us other magic though, so flying is very awkward. But it is perfect for hugs," Index said, pulling Sweetie Belle a little closer.

"Now, there are a few things we need to talk about before I go fetch the others. First is make yourself at home here. Just don't break anything and don't eat anything unless you know it won't kill you. Promise?"

Still stunned, Sweetie Belle let her head fall as a nod. After no small amount of time recovering, she looked up and found Index biting her lip.

"Is something wrong?"

Sighing, Index said, "No, the rest is just…more personal. I guess I'll start with the easiest since you already asked. I have a vague idea what your cutie mark will look like, but really, I can only pull from cutie marks with similar meanings. So I just went with the star and diamond you saw. You're fine with that, right?"

"Well, I would prefer my own cutie mark," Sweetie Belle said, trying to look as pitiable and hopeful as she could.

"I take it Apple Bloom told you want I told her."

Sweetie Belle nodded.

"Well, since I'm pretty much going to hoof you your cutie mark anyway, I might as well tell you how–" Index descended into a laughing fit, but her thoughts were unimpaired. "Quit that squirming! It tickles! How does Celestia do this?"

Settling in place as best she could, Sweetie Belle apologized.

"It's fine. Anyway, ponies get their cutie marks when they feel they've earned one."

"What? But we have done more work to get our cutie marks than anypony else ever!"

"Well, that actually might be true. But," Index began. Then poking Sweetie Belle in the chest, she added, "It's about what's in here."

"Well, technically it's about what's in here" – Index tapped Sweetie Belle's head – "but it's more symbolic the other way. The point is, you don't feel like you've earned your cutie mark yet. You have high standards for yourself and you grew up in an environment that didn't push you hard enough at what you really enjoy."

It took less than a second for that to sink in and for Sweetie Belle to send Index into another fit of laughter.

"You mean I'm going to get a magic cutie mark? Like the archmage?"

Index's magic planted Sweetie Belle to the cloud long enough to give her time to recover. "Mostly likely, yes."

"But what about all my crusader activities? I used a lot of magic there and I had to work really hard to learn new spells for whatever we were doing. And I know Apple Bloom and Scootaloo work just as hard."

"Yes, and yet none of you have your cutie mark. Have you ever asked anypony else how they got their cutie mark?"

"Yeah, lots of ponies."

"And what do they all have in common?"

"Um, Pinkie Pie got hers after throwing a party for the first time for her family. Rarity got hers after making 'perfect' costumes for her play. Rainbow Dash, from her sonic rainboom."

"That was her?" Sweetie Belle nodded. "Huh. Interesting. I think I owe her a buck in the wings."

"What? Why?"

"Just something that happened when I got my cutie mark. Anyway, you were saying?"

Pausing to consider if she should ask, Sweetie Belle finally said, "Fluttershy got hers from singing and dancing with animals. Applejack…" She turned to Index and asked, "How did you get your cutie mark?"

"I'll tell you after. Think of it as an incentive to figure this out."

Humming angrily and pouting, Sweetie Belle said, "Applejack got hers when she realized she wanted to come home and did. I guess they all 'did' their special talent for the first time. More or less."

"That is known to help."

"Hmm. They all did something really hard to do. If they told their stories accurately."

"I think that's safe to assume."

"But…"

"But?"

"But we have done hard stuff too. Some ponies even say impossible stuff."

"What's the hardest thing you've ever done?"

Sweetie Belle bit her lip and thought. There were more than a few choices for that privileged position.

Maybe that generator Apple Bloom had me help prototype last year? No, she and Cheerilee did almost all the work. It was more exhausting than hard for me.

The first time I healed Scootaloo? Possibly.

Oh, I know. "The flame sending spell. Although, I still do not know how it really works. Maybe not."

"No, that's a fine example. Any one of your choices would be fine. How did you feel after succeeding?"

"Happy. Excited. Maybe a bit proud."

"I should hope more than a bit."

"Okay, maybe pretty proud. I mean, I learned my first illusion spell then too."

"That was your first? It's taught early on, but still, I'm impressed."

Blushing, fidgeting, and hiding under Index's wing, Sweetie Belle said, "Thanks."

"So was that it?"

"As much as I remember, I guess."

"You certainly had the right elements to earn your cutie mark there, but you're missing something. Try thinking about the painfully obvious things."

"Painfully obvious? Well, they all got their cutie marks when they got their cutie marks."

"Let's steer clear of tautologies," Index deadpanned.

Sweetie Belle giggled, "Okay. Then it was all an important day in their life."

"Because…"

"Because they got their cutie marks."

"You're putting the cart before yourself."

"You mean going around in circles?"

"That too, but why was it an important day beyond getting their cutie marks?"

Sweetie Belle's eyes lit up. It was so obvious. She and the crusaders had it backward the whole time. Everypony had said it, but she never truly had listened.

"They all did something life defining! Something they could always look back on and be proud of! Something so utterly, deeply satisfying that it formed a core part of their character!"

"Exactly. I'm extrapolating, but some ponies, like Applejack, can do something relatively easy to get that feeling. Some ponies, like Rainbow Dash, push themselves so hard they have to do something outrageous and crazy. It all depends on how we work up here," Index said, tapping her own head.

"You, and anypony that joins the crusaders, are on the Rainbow Dash end of the spectrum."

"So basically," pouted Sweetie Belle, realizing Index told her nothing new, "you are telling me to work hard and wait for it to come in time. Just like everypony else said."

"Well, pretty much. Although once you've sufficiently forgotten, I'll throw something appropriately difficult at you if I must."

"That might take awhile…"

Index shrugged. "Try not to let it bother you, Sweetie. Cutie marks are as cutie marks do. They're an expression of your magic on your physical self and nothing more."

"Is that the reason Berry Pinch has such trouble with spells?" Seeing Index scrunching up her brow, Sweetie Belle clarified, "She is Berry Punch's–"

"Ah! Right. Her. Four-leaf clover cutie mark, right?" Getting the nod, Index continued, "Yes, her magic is tempered more toward…whatever it is she can do. I'm not a cutie mark expert, so I'm not exactly sure what hers means.

"Unicorns have it especially bad because we have such variety, both in spell effect and in spell implementation. Most of us only learn a couple dozen spells related to our special talent at best."

"What about telekinesis?" Sweetie Belle asked, idly lifting up her discarded saddlebags for emphasis.

"It's heavily ingrained into our species the same way basic flight magic is for pegasi and basic grip magic is for earth ponies. And to a lesser extent, water manipulation for seaponies, but that's more like a modified telekinesis spell."

"I see." But does that mean– "Does that mean a pony can only get one cutie mark? For unicorns, at least. I mean, if our magic is already tempered, and our cutie marks are an expression of it, are we stuck with whatever we are born with?"

Smiling, Index answered, "No, not at all. But evidence shows that your field is restricted, and if you deliberately try to get something different, especially wildly different, you will suffer for it.

"But! The evidence is also irreconcilably biased because it is incredibly unethical to raise foals from birth to do extensive testing. We are not sure if you are born with your magic tempered or if it is something you grow into. I personally favor the latter, as does Celestia, but I have no real evidence to support either side of the argument."

"That is a bit unsettling," whispered Sweetie Belle, although Index probably only heard the last word.

Now that I think about it, we have been so focused on getting our cutie marks, we never really thought about what they meant. I cannot believe I am saying it, but maybe it is a good thing we always failed; I would not want to be stuck with something that was not really me accidentally. I guess we always imagined we could only get a cutie mark in exactly what we were supposed to.

Sweetie Belle felt a shiver rocket through her, and rather than inappropriately and involuntarily laughing, Index pulled her closer than ever.

"Don't worry, Sweetie Belle," Index said aloud. "Your little stunts with the crusaders were just good na – well, they may not have been good natured fun, but it would be nigh unimaginable for any of you to get a bad cutie mark from them. You three have set your standards far too high for that."

Leaning into Index, Sweetie Belle said nothing and let the minutes flow past.

"As much as I prefer this to picking up the other bearers, we do sort of have a goddess to deal with."

"Aw."

Laughing, Index said, "Now I have a question for you. Recently, I…realized" – somehow, Index made the word sound rabid – "that I may be…making some false assumptions."

"Wait a second. This is not a diversion from telling me how you got your cutie mark, is it?"

Index winced. "Maybe a bit, but only because Celestia is making me tell you something I'd rather wait to say until we know each other better."

"You do not have to…" Sweetie Belle said, eliciting a sigh from Index.

"No, I have to. You'll just find out anyway from somepony else. And it's not that I don't trust you with the knowledge. It's just that the elements being powered by friendship is…inconvenient. But first, I should actually ask my question."

Ugh. That is not fair! You cannot just dangle that kind of stuff in front of me. It is inpony!

Very unnecessarily clearing her throat, Index asked, "What do you want me to call you?"

Huh? Sweetie Belle's brain galloped into a brick wall. "What do you mean?"

"I refer to ponies as they introduce themselves. It – some problems happened because of that. If you want me to call you something other than Sweetie Belle, you have to explicitly tell me."

"Oh! Oh. Um – well – maybe…" Blushing, Sweetie Belle retreated underneath Index's wing again. "Sweetie Belle's fine."

With a single laugh, Index said, "You sound a lot like Spike when he's trying not to give into his greed impulses."

"Eep!"

"Sweetie?"

"Yes?"

"Sweetie it is then."

I've been tricked! "If–" Sweetie Belle sighed. "Please do not tell Rarity. She always says it is improper for a mare."

"I'd guessed. Is that where the – the…"

"The semi-upper-class Canterlot dialect?"

"Yes, that. Mine is natural of course, made worse by my need for formality on many occasions. However, it's odd for you to have it. And not just have it, but for it to be so strongly expressed. Even with Rarity as your sister."

"Well, Rarity gave me speech lessons ever since I said my first word. 'Everything beginnings and ends with proper diction,' was the byword."

"And what was it?"

"My first word?"

Index nodded and Sweetie Belle cringed.

"A butchered 'marvelous'."

As if the laughter were not obnoxious enough, Index fell over onto her side and took her warm and comfortable wing with her. Wheezing, but out of laughs, Index very clearly mouthed the word marvelous and fell back into what few giggles her lungs could still summon.

Pouncing on her wing, Sweetie Belle half-snapped, "I will give you something to laugh about," and proceeded to do her best to tickle Index into submission.

When she felt sufficiently victorious, Sweetie Belle asked, "Are you going to tell me how you got your cutie mark now?"

"S-Sure. I d-don't actually remember it all that well myself – I passed out afterward – but I hatched a dragon. Spike actually."

If Sweetie Belle's mind galloped into a brick wall earlier, this time it got aboard a train and crashed into every building on Equus at all once.

Still red and out of breath, Index returned to her thoughts. "Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to talk to you about. I'm actually a little uncomfortable with you wearing my cutie mark on your saddlebags. Not to say I'll forbid it, but I'd rather you – Sweetie? Sweetie?"

Index poked Sweetie Belle's shoulder, and she snapped out of it.

"You're Twilight Sparkle!"

"I never explicitly said anything to the contrary."

"Y-you're Twilight Sparkle, and I-I just–"

Sweetie Belle moved to get off, but Index managed to catch her with her wings before she could.

"Sweetie," Index said, horn glowing and her coat turning to lavender, "I am going to say this once, and I want you to listen very carefully."

Archmage Twilight Sparkle had more than Sweetie Belle's full attention already.

"I'm sure the Elements of Harmony will work between us no matter what, so please don't think I'm saying this because I have to. Growing up, I was, well, only slightly more asocial than I am now, and idolized Celestia almost as much as I think you do me.

"Worst decision of my life."

"R-Really?"

"I would put an asterisk on that statement, but that's not what you need to hear right now.

"It took Celestia three seasons to get me to warm up to her enough to go to her when I had a nightmare. It wasn't long before we spent essentially every night together, but it wasn't until years later that we really broke down the walls between us under unusual circumstances.

"Even I know a friendship cannot be rushed, but please do not put me on a pedestal out of reach. It's…an unnecessary complication."

"I-I'll try, Arc–"

"Twilight."

"T-Twilight. I'll try."

"That's all I can ask," sighed Twilight. "I hate to drop that on you and run, but I really do need to pick everypony else up from densely populated areas. Will you be fine on your own before I get back?"

Sweetie Belle nodded weakly.

With a wistful smile, Twilight lit up her horn and disappeared. Sweetie Belle then promptly fell the height of Twilight's barrel onto her bed. She subsequently spent the next eternity in a daze of incoherent thoughts and swirling emotions, although a nearby pocket watch awkwardly hanging from the wall dared to claim it a paltry five minutes.

I'm Twilight Sparkle's apprentice…

"I'm Twilight Sparkle's apprentice," Sweetie Belle dared. When nopony and nothing objected, she said it again and then once more for good measure, as though it somehow might not be true if she did not.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle's apprentice," Sweetie Belle said, giddy and giggling. Somehow, it felt both real and dreamlike.

And she said she slept with Princess Celestia. Probably tucked away under her wing. Warm and comfortable and everything else a pony could ask for. Just like – just like T-Twilight just did for me.

Sweetie Belle blushed and bit her lip as she contemplated her wildest dreams come true.

Maybe, just maybe, I won't need my own room.

Quietly, as though she were trying for her ninja cutie mark again, Sweetie Belle left her bed and room behind, crossing over to the room across from hers. Except for the lack of bag and saddle bags and the existence of a proper – if ridiculous – clock, this room was identical to Sweetie Belle's own.

And yet it was completely different.

Sweetie Belle took a step forward and stopped. She quickly returned back to her own room, recovered Spike's last letter, and returned. Hopping onto the bed, she picked up where she had left off on her homework.

Trixie partook of another sip of her wine, vintage twenty years before Luna's banishment. The rest of the castle may have been more secure than Tartarus, but the kitchen's defenses were laughable, and everypony in the dinning room paid her no mind.

She had been nursing this bottle ever since Lyra had left to catch the first train back to Ponyville. Apparently, Twilight Sparkle expected everypony to flee Ponyville with her like there was some horrible surprise waiting.

Which, on reflection, there might be.

Taking another sip, Trixie let the wine rest on the table and buried her head in her hooves.

Blegh. I'll never get that drunk again. Probably end up married to Sparklebutt next time.

"Good morning, Beatrix."

Beatrix? Trixie looked up and saw Princess Celestia sitting across from her, tea and cake held aloft. No small number of privacy wards had gone up unnoticed while she had not been paying attention.

Trixie just sighed.

"Is it not a little early for alcohol?"

Biting her tongue, Trixie stoppered the bottle, but her face must have revealed her thoughts.

"My apologies," Princess Celestia said. "I do not often speak with nocturnal ponies. Nightly tasks usually fall to Twilight, although I must confess I have been up quite late myself recently. Still, I would ask for a moment of your time."

Princess Celestia held out a slice of cake and a cup of tea. Sighing again, Trixie took it wordlessly and ate a bite of the cake.

It was delicious and brought tears to her eyes. It was everything a cake should be all at once. It was the very archetype that all other cakes were based on. It was what every pâtissier aspired to make just once in their life.

And then a single thought soured the experience. Twilight Sparkle eats this whenever she wants.

"Why is it always her?" Trixie mumbled.

Princess Celestia visibly cringed. Her smile faltered. "Beatrix," she said, lifting Trixie's head up, "I have heard those exact words before."

No surprises there. "If you're here to tell me that Twilight Sparkle is wonderful and brilliant, don't bother. I already know that." Just before Princess Celestia could open her mouth, Trixie added, "And don't try to tell me I'm special too."

"Honestly," teased Princess Celestia, though it sounded like her heart was not in her words. "You sound as if you expect me to have learned nothing over the past millennium."

Trixie opened her mouth, but something told her what she wanted to say was a bad, horrible idea. Instead, she asked, "Then why are you here?"

"I am afraid it is for my own selfish reasons. I have no words of wisdom that will undo the knot in your heart. On that matter I shall only say I am proud of you."

"Proud of me?" Trixie echoed. "What could you possibly be proud of me for? And who are you to say that?"

"Peace, Beatrix. I only meant you have been very mature in your actions regarding Twilight."

"You think yelling at her, hating her with every fiber of my being, and wanting to beat her into the ground in front of everypony in Equestria is mature?"

Princess Celestia raised a single eyebrow and drank from her tea. "I believe your words prove my point." Once Trixie had spent sufficient time grumbling incoherently, Princess Celestia continued, "Let me ask you a question. What do you desire from Twilight?"

"Nothing," Trixie said automatically. That was hardly a question she had never thought about.

"Really? You do not want her position? Her life? Her talents?"

Trixie shook her head at every suggestion.

"Perhaps you want to do something to her. You said you want to beat her in front of all of Equestria. I can imagine why. Although if you really wish to defeat her, you would be wiser to try research; it is her strongest field."

Gritting her teeth, Trixie said, "I know."

"Maybe you wish for her to do something for you. She has unknowingly and unintentionally hurt you, so perhaps you want an apology."

"No." Trixie made sure that there could be no confusion in her answer.

"Is it her attention then? You certainly have it now, even if it is not for the reasons you might desire."

"Not…really…"

Princess Celestia set her tea down and leaned forward. "Do you want her to disappear for a century?"

The question hit Trixie harder than anything. Harder than her expulsion. Harder than her parents's reaction to said expulsion. Harder than abandoning Luna.

"I – I don't…"

"She would be willing. Or rather, she would be if she could trust you to do her job for her."

"So this is about the elements," Trixie said, leaning back into a more comfortable posture. "You almost had me fooled. I already said I'd help. I'm wearing Laughter. I'll try to like her. What more do you want?"

"Nothing at all. I am merely offering my thoughts on a similar situation."

"Whatever," sighed Trixie. I'm not in the mood for this. "So why are you really here?"

Princess Celestia's smile faded, but what little was left felt more genuine. "I was hoping you would tell me how Luna has been. Is she…well?"

"As well as one can be when banished for over a thousand years by her sister." Seeing the look behind the faint smile, Trixie added, "Nice work on the calender, by the way. I couldn't find a discontinuity no matter how hard I looked."

A few seconds passed with only background chatter to break the silence. "Truthfully, it was not difficult. Clocks were a luxury back then, and everypony set theirs by mine. I knew I would need some poetic excuse for her reappearance."

"Luna would agree with you, although she probably would have preferred Hearth's Warming," Trixie said, taking her first sip of tea. It was pleasantly surprising – for tea. "I imagine you want to know what her goal is."

"If – if you would be so kind."

"I don't see why not. Fundamentally, all she wants is to swap positions with you. That is, she wants to be the sole ruler for a thousand years while you rot in banishment, not that she wants to be the alicorn of the sun."

Somehow not breathing, Princess Celestia asked, "Is that it? No eternal night? No vengeance against an uncaring world? No crusade against those who slight her? No tyranny? No oppression? No iron hoof?"

"Not that I know of. Nothing fundamentally bad, at least," Trixie said, taking another bite of cake and trying to enjoy it properly. Then she sneered and said, "But what do I know? I'm just her guard."

"Beatrix, please do not deride yourself like that."

"It's just the truth."

"You do know the history the royal guard–"

"The dayguard," Trixie interrupted.

"The dayguard and the nightguard possess a justly earned reputation for great deeds from a less civilized age. I know Luna has been active all this time, but she retains strong roots in old Equestria, does she not?"

"I thought I told you not to try to tell me I'm special too."

Princess Celestia shook her head. "Please listen to the end. The diarchy was, in essence, a perfect balance between its rulers. Luna and I shared everything equally. Everything except our guards."

Chuckling, Princess Celestia added, "And usually not our bedrooms. But I still remember when she was scared of her own night."

Trixie laughed into her tea and descended into a coughing fit. She hastily cast a spell to remove what little had entered her lungs and asked, "Are you serious?"

"To be fair, Discord's nights were even more terrifying than his days, and Luna was barely eight when we imprisoned him."

How did she manage to say that with a smile?

"My point is, the nightguard was the only part of Equestria which I had no say in, and it consisted solely of ponies loyal to her. She grew…quite attached to them. It does not excuse whatever wrongs she has visited upon you, but if you can find it in your heart to do so, please give her a second chance. I believe she cares more than you realize, Beatrix Lulamoon."

Trixie winced.

"I believe you care more than you realize."

"Shut up! What do you know? You haven't talked to her in a thousand years! She's changed a lot since then! I–" Trixie brought a hoof to her head and tried rubbing away her anger. For some reason, she knew she was only going to hurt herself if she continued. "I'm sorry."

"No need, Beatrix. You are right. It is quite possible you are the pony who best knows Luna now. Tell me, when she is upset over something petty, do her cheeks still puff out like this?"

It started with snort. Trixie tried to hold it in, but Princess Celestia of all ponies looked so foalish with her cheeks practically ready to burst. It was just too much.

"Yes, yes they do," Trixie said, laughing.

"Does she still struggle with alliteration?"

"Not always."

"Oh? It sounds like there is a story waiting to be told."

"Not really," Trixie said, but the look Princess Celestia had in her eyes was irresistible. "I mean, it's not much of a story. One morning I got it into my head to try tinkering like an earth pony in my dreams, and I forgot to clean up everything. A few seasons later, Luna found a screwdriver sitting a bowl of fruit and completely failed to say 'stray screwdriver' for – I don't know – at least a minute. She was so embarrassed!"

"Oh, how I would love to have seen her face. Did she do her little wing twitch?"

"Do you mean when one twitches independently of the other?" Princess Celestia nodded. "Yeah. I always thought that was weird, but I'm not exactly an expert." Trixie shifted her withers to emphasize her lack of wings.

"Maybe she has not changed so much as I have feared," said Princess Celestia, her smile so big it was almost ridiculous. "But you mentioned you were a tinker, did you not?"

"Well, a little bit. Just as a hobby, really. Luna never really found it all that interesting."

"No, I would imagine not. Her passion was always drama, although she developed quite a love of magic and reading in the pursuit of bigger and better scenes. Did she ever tell you about the time she had the entire royal court – if you could call it that at the time – reenact the climactic scene of Captain Umbar?"

"What? You mean that movie Silver Bell just released?"

"Not quite," Princess Celestia said, chuckling. "It was a pre-Discordian book long before it was a movie. It was one of the first novels we recovered from the cultural wasteland Discord left behind."

"You're joking! What happened to it then?"

"Ah. Sadly, it did not make it through Middle Equestrian. I made translations myself, but they failed in the culture. Speaking frankly, all the ponies of that era were quite boring."

"Oh, how scandalous! Imagine what the nobility would think if they hear that."

"Quite so," Princess Celestia said, struggling between a smile and a frown. "Why I even once thought about releasing Discord, just to see what would happen."

Trixie's train of thought hit a brick wall. "Are you serious?"

"Oh, yes. It was only a passing thought made in jest, but the idea did come to mind. The Grand Galloping Gala is a dreadful remnant of that era, one I can never find an excuse to eradicate."

Princess Celestia sighed. "But I believe we have gotten off-topic."

"Yeah. So did Luna go down with the ship and everything?"

"That is not quite what I meant, but yes she did. It was a moment that First Mate Tia shall never forget. But I was wondering if you had anything interesting to show off."

"You mean…something I've built?"

Princess Celestia nodded.

"Why?"

"Well, I was always the tinker in the family, even after I adopted" – Princess Celestia gave a short laugh – "grouchy old Prince Periwinkle's family into mine. Although, there has been precious little time for tinkering of late."

Trixie gave Princess Celestia a disbelieving look.

"Why do you think Canterlot is built atop the Canterhorn without magic?"

"The majestic sunsets?" Trixie hazarded.

"No, I fear it is only recently that I have been able to see twilight properly from the palace."

Trixie banged her head once against the table. It was the only way she knew of to express just how bad that pun was.

"I'm going to pretend you never said that," Trixie said into the table.

"Very well. So, do you have any interesting projects?"

"Not really. Nothing anywhere near the scale of Canterlot itself."

"Of course. I have quite the unfair advantage in both resources and experience. But surely you have something you are proud of."

"Well…I suppose there is one thing that I" – Trixie cleared her throat – "that the Great and Powerful Trixie could show off, but it remains in Ponyville at the moment."

"Ah. I would offer to take us there, but unfortunately, I am awaiting some news at the moment. Perhaps some other time then. Still, please tell me about it."

"Hmm… There's not much to say, really. I built my home from scratch, but the construction isn't all that inspired. The dimensional enchantments on it are far more interesting, to be honest."

"Oh? I presume it is bigger on the inside."

Trixie nodded. "I built the outside as a small wagon – for convenience – but it's a basically mansion inside. Lately I've been thinking about getting rid of the spiral staircases for plain old teleportation fields, but I've been having trouble making things…stay things at the destination points."

"Did you account for the distortion in the coordinate system?"

"Of course I did."

"Hmm, perhaps you are experiencing interference from crossing dimensional folds. Are you using multiple distortions to local space or one really big one?"

"Multiple. But I haven't been able to detect any interference."

Princess Celestia tapped her hoof on the floor and sunk into thought. Half a cake later, she said, "I cannot think of what your problem might be without further investigation. Do teleports work within a single fold?"

Shaking her head, Trixie replied, "No. I thought about hacking together a solution where I teleport to a boundary and physically move over it, but I had no luck there either."

"Strange. You could always–"

"Princess Celestia," a lime-green unicorn called out. She held a giant stack of newspapers and magazines in her magic. "I have all of the rush editions that deliver to Canterlot."

"Thank you," Princess Celestia said, taking the papers from the unicorn and glancing through them. After she finished, she chuckled. "I say, ponies these days."

Rolling her eyes, Trixie said, "What's going on?"

Princess Celestia floated the top paper over. "Please share this with Twilight, if you would."

Trixie's magic took hold of the newspaper, and her eyes fell to the headline.

Scandal in Los Pegasus? What? As Trixie read, she grew more and more confused at the bizarre claims thrown at Silver Bell until she reached the article's dramatic reveal. "Silver Bell's a changeling?" Looking up at Princess Celestia, she asked, "Aren't those the things that replace foals with their own offspring?"

"That is merely a myth." Rising to her hooves, Princess Celestia added, "Twilight would be able to tell you more, if you are interested."

"Eh, I'll think about it."

"Not to interrupt," the unicorn said, "but that's an element, isn't it?"

"Laughter," Trixie said.

"What does it do?"

Trixie shrugged. "Something about charisma."

"Did Twilight not tell you?" Princess Celestia asked.

"No. She left before explaining."

Turning to give Trixie her full attention again, Princess Celestia said, "Allow me then. Have you ever been told your mood is infectious?"

Rolling her eyes, Trixie replied, "My entire job is to have an infectious mood." Princess Celestia tilted her head ever so slightly to the side. "I do magic shows. I don't guard."

"Oh? I should love to see you perform."

"I'm booked in Ponyville for your festival. My next performance is in eleven days."

"I shall be sure to be there. Now, when a pony wears Laughter, her mood is infectious."

Trixie pulled back in shock. "You mean, if I'm happy, I force other ponies to be happy? Even if, say, I just murdered their beloved grandmother right in front of them?"

"A rather grim example," Princess Celestia said, "but yes. If I recall correctly, the range is a few meters shy of Generosity's. I believe that should put it around twenty-five meters, but it would be best to test it yourself."

Looking down at Laughter, Trixie almost reached out with her magic to take it off. Almost.

Laughter sounds more and more like a cursed artifact the more I learn about it. That's what, three red flags now? It brought Luna to ruin, or at least helped; it has an unnatural appeal; and it has a morally dubious effect.

And Lyra said there was a second effect.

"What's the other thing Laughter does?" Trixie asked.

"Luna described it as a conversation helper. It reveals to the bearer how something said shall be taken."

Well, that's not so ba–

"But be careful. There was a time when Luna grew so dependent on Laughter, I had to take it away from her until she relearned how to hold a conversation."

"Stars, I'm doomed," Trixie sighed, collapsing into the table.

Princess Celestia chuckled, "How nostalgic."

Trixie looked up and asked, "What is?"

"Stars as an expletive – the usage died out long ago. Although being under the influence of Laughter again was nostalgic as well."

Her head falling back to the table, Trixie muttered, "You're welcome, I guess."

"It was pleasant speaking with you, Beatrix. I hope to see you again soon."

Princess Celestia turned and walked away with the lime-green unicorn falling into step at her side.

Still slumped onto the table, Trixie tried asking Laughter a question. It was nonsense and completely unlike her, but if felt like a good idea – a guilty pleasure. She was not sure if the element responded or not, but for once, Trixie wanted to pretend her problems were gone.

"Princess Celestia," Trixie said, her magic carrying her voice across the room. "Thank you."

Espionage sighed. EIS's hospital wards were not what one would call comfy, but they were tolerable. Unless, of course, there were seven people all crammed inside with an eighth and maybe a ninth on the way, one of them endlessly asking pointed questions, and another occasionally glaring daggers.

No, this was not a good place to be. Queen Chrysalis's wrath was inflamed against Espionage once again, if in a new way. Fortunately, she was mostly distracted coddling her unconscious nymph.

Coxa, content to poke and prod Tavi and Espionage about their personal life, had only the occasional break when she would check on whoever was in bed. In the brief periods when she was too busy to ask a question, Princess Cadance filled the gap with an extremely embarrassing one of her own.

Captain Armor, for good or for ill, stayed silent and waited to take a statement.

A knock came at the door immediately after Coxa asked, "What does love taste like while engaging in intercourse?"

Oh, by all the mothers of the past, thank you.

Espionage rushed to open the door, desperate to avoid answering that question, and found Princess Celestia on the other side levitating a large stack of newspapers and magazines.

"Good afternoon, everyone."

With the exception of the infirmed and Queen Chrysalis, everyone bowed. Although, on closer inspection, both Queen Chrysalis and Princess Cadance appeared to make more of a silent nod than anything else.

"Unsurprisingly," Princess Celestia continued with an odd cheer that never left her voice, "Daisy Wishes was able to gather the rush editions of both, as the laypony would put it, the respectable newspapers and the tabloid rags."

"Already?" Queen Chrysalis asked. "I suppose I should not be surprised anymore, but I still have not made up my mind on whether I should praise or condemn Equestrian journalism."

Smiling a little wider, Princess Celestia said, "I believe my little ponies deserve both if today's headlines are to be what we judge them on."

"So we have good news then?"

"Of a kind, Cadance." Shuffling through her pile of papers, Princess Celestia selected roughly half and said, "Perhaps we should begin with the less savory sources."

Princess Celestia set her selection down on the edge of the bed and everyone gathered around as quickly as possible, shoving both Espionage and Captain Armor out of the way. It only took a second before Tavi fell to her rear in full blush.

"I'm not – we only did that once! How did they even find out about that? And that's not even the right word!"

Hovering into the air to look over everyone, the top headline read, "Octavia Melody is Gay."

Coxa cleared her throat and said, "Well, if the hive's knowledge of Equestrian is as good as I think it is, gay is technically a valid word choice."

Tavi shot Coxa a betrayed look.

"And besides," Princess Cadance added, "lesbian doesn't have quite the same…punch in a headline. I mean, it's three syllables."

"I still don't get why you ponies get so worked up over it."

Nuzzling Coxa, Queen Chrysalis said, "It is a cultural thing, dear. We changelings are the odd ones out in terms of reproduction."

Coxa fidgeted under the affection and Espionage turned his attention back to the stack that was rapidly being dispersed every which way. Most of the headlines had something to do with sex in some manner. One even went so far as to suggest Espionage was the reason Archmage Twilight never showed any interest in marriage.

Ha! As if. They could at least try to write something believable.

The magazine at the very bottom was perhaps the oddest of all. It read, "Princess Celestia: Secretly a Changeling?" It then elaborated on a needlessly complex conspiracy in which Princess Celestia was actually a series of different changelings to fake their immortality and who only appeared to move the sun and the moon.

"Wow," Captain Armor said, putting a newspaper back on the pile. "These articles certainly are…different than I expected, even if they are just the bottom feeders of the business. Still, this is fantastic."

"Fantastic?" Tavi squeaked. "How is this fantastic? This is mortifying!"

"It is fantastic," began Princess Celestia, "because they find your sexual orientation and Queen Chrysalis's social life more important than changelings."

A few seconds passed and then Tavi's ear twitched in that adorable way it always did when she realized something important. "Oh, I see." Sighing, Tavi continued, "Well, I did say I was willing to be put in the spotlight. I cannot complain about it now. Even if it is a different color than I imagined."

Then turning to Espionage, she asked, "Esp, you don't think I'm gay, do you?"

First turning back into an earth pony stallion, Espionage hugged Tavi and answered, "Tavi, I spend over ninety-nine percent of my time as a male pony. And as you said, we only–"

Tavi cut Espionage off by clamping his mouth shut with both hooves. She hissed, "Not in front of both princesses and a queen!"

Princess Cadance laughed, "It's okay, Octavia. It's not like Shiny and I haven't tried some weird stuff."

"Hey! You said we'd never speak of it outside the bedroom!"

"Oh shush, Dear. This is mare talk." Smirking, Princess Cadance added, "Unless you want–"

"So what do the respectable papers have to say, Princess Celestia?" interrupted Captain Armor, eliciting a few snickers from the two mares.

"Nothing nearly as shocking," she answered, setting down the remaining newspapers. "These articles are mostly along the same lines, but put more tactfully and without the conspiracy theories. There are a few that even Twilight might respect for their integrity.

"Assuming no major incidents occur in the next few decades, the merging of our two people should go well."

An awkward silence descended that nopony wanted to break while Princess Celestia read through an unrelated stack of papers.

Finally, Queen Chrysalis dared to ask, "When you said major and decades, what exactly do you mean?"

"Hmm? Oh. Oh, yes. My apologies. Do you know about the Griffin Riot of Old Cloudsdale?"

Everyone in the room shook their head.

"It occurred about five decades after Discord's fall. The griffins had been looking for a place to call home for quite some time, and I invited them to Equestria. I was still young and inexperienced then and let the situation spiral out of control.

"If any good could be said to have come from Discord's reign, it should be the solidarity it created between the three tribes. Unfortunately, this did not extend to the other species. Especially not the ones Discord progenerated.

"I am afraid I do not have time for details, but in summary, Old Cloudsdale was anchored above the badlands instead of the unicorn range. A few very important cultural issues popped up, and rather than confronting them immediately, I tried letting the city work itself out.

"As the name Old Cloudsdale implies, it did not end well. The conflicts sparked into a full-scale war and I had to force the griffins to leave Equestria."

"So you are worried about the other hives's behavior," Queen Chrysalis summarized.

"Yes, as well as my own ponies. But presumably, if your hive and my ponies start" – Princess Celestia glanced at Espionage and Tavi – "mingling more, we shall not have a problem."

After pausing a moment, Queen Chrysalis said, "Neither of our birth rates would be affected."

Decidedly not listening to that conversation any longer, Espionage said, "Hey, Tavi. How are you holding up?"

Flushing and deliciously embarrassed, she answered, "F-fine. Surprisingly well. You?"

"Maybe a little disappointed there was so little mention of myself, but fine. Yourself?"

"You already asked that."

"Oh. Right."

"Um… Esp, we have a lot of firsts between our species. Or at least first documented. Do you…"

"Do I wha–" Espionage looked away when he realized what Tavi was alluding to. "Oh, um, maybe. I don't know how well I'd do as a parent."

"I think you would do wonderfully."

"Maybe. We could – do you hear something buzzing?"

Tavi shook her head.

"Then what is – oh, it's the hive mind. Wow, I feel stupid."

Turning around, Espionage saw the tail end of the glow from one of Princess Celestia's spells. Whatever had happened while he and Tavi were distracting each other, the other changeling was now awake and silently conversing with Queen Chrysalis. Espionage tried listening in to no effect.

It did not take even a minute before Queen Chrysalis's smile turned to a frown. Finally sighing, she said, "It would seem that Cocoon here got it in her head to cover for someone else in our joint investigation despite my explicit command that no one not fully matured should participate."

Cocoon let her head fall and apologized, her wings emitting a faint hum underneath her blanket.

"Well, it is all over now," Princess Celestia said, calm and gentle as always.

"But we do need you to tell us what happened so we can arrest whoever did this to you," Captain Armor added.

Sinking underneath her blankets, Cocoon whispered something inaudible to everyone except Princess Celestia whose smile ever so faintly fell.

"What was that?" asked Captain Armor.

Cocoon whispered, "I don't remember."

Immediately, her head was enveloped in a rose colored magic.

After some time and much lip biting on Captain Armor's part, he said, "It's very faint, but there are definite signs of magical tampering." Rushing out the door, he added, "Excuse me, Your Majesty, but I need to talk with the field marshal and the commander immediately."

"Queen Chrysalis," Princess Celestia began, "I hope I do not–"

"I know. I am resigned to it. I shall not start a blood feud in Equestria from impatience. I am no stranger to mind altering magic myself."

Tavi tapped Espionage on the shoulder and whispered, "Would you mind explaining what is happening to me?"

Whispering back, Espionage said, "The way I understand it is we only have Marquis Poppycock's word on who was responsible, and when memory magic gets involved the courts get very hesitant to place blame. It's very easy to shift the crime onto someone innocent. Investigations involving it take a long time.

"Then there's also the fact that the accused, who may not be the ones who actually did it" – especially if Luna is involved – "are nobles which always slows the process down. Further, it's a changeling–pony problem in which Cocoon might have been doing something potentially illegal under orders from EIS.

"So in short, an already long and dangerous process just became even longer."

"Thanks," Tavi said with an accompanying nuzzle.

"Ehem," Queen Chrysalis said, "if you two are just about finished, please leave."

Huh? Did we miss something?

Splitting Espionage and Tavi apart, Princess Cadance walked in between them and pushed both of them backward with a wing.

"Come on, you two. Queen Chrysalis wants some alone time with Cocoon."

"Another fire ruby?" Twilight asked.

Shifting atop his hoard, which even Glaurung the Terrible would find impressive, Spike rotated away from Twilight's barrel and opened his mouth. A moment later, the wonderful, exotic, mouthwatering fire ruby fell onto his tongue, and Spike bit into it, severing it in half and drooling a bit.

Twilight flicked away the drool with her magic and nuzzled Spike.

"Oh, Spike, you're so adorable."

Looking away and blushing, Spike tried to say, "I'm not adorable, I'm handsome," but it came out utterly incomprehensible through the fire ruby. Not that it bothered him. Twilight's affections were increasingly rare of late and nonexistent ever since she had left for Ponyville.

Wait. Mom's in Ponyville. Then who is… Spike looked down at his hoard – his unrealistically sized hoard. Oh, ponyfeathers. This isn't–

Spike awoke, mumbling, "Real." Sighing and a bit uncomfortable, he tried pushing away whatever was wedging his tail up against him. Instead, he pushed himself away. Odd, but the problem was solved.

And yet, the bed was somehow colder now, so he rolled back and snuggled into the warm and fuzzy lump on the bed, making sure his tail was pointed away this time. Unexpectedly, the lump shifted on its own.

Spike's eyes shot open and were greeted by pure lavender.

"Mom?" Spike asked, very eager not to repeat his recent disaster with Daisy.

"Good afternoon, Spike," definitely, probably Twilight said, vanishing the book she was reading. "I was kind of hoping you'd go back to sleep for a few more minutes, but I suppose I'm about as ready for this as I'll ever be."

"Huh?"

"Have you not noticed? You're taller."

Taller? Well, I am growing, but I doubt it's been more than a wingful of micrometers since the last–

Spike froze mid eye-rub when he remembered exactly what had happened yesterday. The letter from the crusaders came with the single worst news possible – even worse than Twilight finding a lover. She had a student.

Somehow, Spike had powered through gathering the information Sweetie Belle needed, writing and sending a reply with Star Charmer and reading the reply to that. Then he quietly had run to the comfort of his home and Twilight's bed. Now that it was brought to the front of his thoughts, the stairs had seemed easier to climb.

While he was lost in thought, Twilight continued, "We have three options. I can call Celestia up here and have her brute force your growth away before it gets worse, or I can summon Magic and do it myself."

Magic… This is all those stupid elements' fault.

"I know you said that hurt quite a bit last time your greed got out of control, so the third option is we try to talk you down while you're still in the early stages."

"Option three," Spike said. As if the answer were not obvious.

"Alright. So, to start out, what have you gotten recently and who gave it to you?"

"Nothing…" Spike muttered. He was nowhere near ready to say he wanted to hoard his mother.

"Spike, option three won't work if you aren't honest."

Honest… Spike shook his head to rid himself of more thoughts about the elements. Even he knew that would turn into a self-destructive spiral.

"Fine. Yesterday I had a sapphire waffle for breakfast which was technically 'given'" – Spike helpfully added claw quotes – "to me. At lunch I had a fish. The castle cooks are obviously still queasy whenever I request meat despite knowing that I need it in my diet.

"Then there was a letter from the crusaders which I kept, so I guess they gave that to me too. Then, if you want me to get really technical, I came up here and went to sleep, even though I'm still grounded, and I was forgiven.

"And I suppose," Spike began, venting and growing sarcastic, "I took your bed from you and stole a lot of extra sleep. Oh, and I breathed a little bit of air yesterday, and today too, I'd suppose. It'd probably be safe to assume I drank some water too. Who knows what I'd get up to with all that water; I might try to make a throne with it or something."

Finished, Spike turned away and huffed. To Twilight's credit, she had listened to his whole rant without saying a word.

Spike bit his cheek. That didn't come right at all.

Much less to her credit, Twilight said, "Hmm… Alright, so if it's not something you were given, it must be more of an abstract. That's troubling. I don't have much extra time–"

"Is that all I am? Extra time?" Spike snapped, immediately regretting it and slamming a hand over his mouth.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spike noticed Twilight's face betraying how much his little outburst had hurt her. He almost felt a little happy about it before crushing that feeling and stomping it into oblivion.

"I–" Twilight started, but fell silent again.

Unable to bear the silence, Spike whispered, "I'm sorry. I know you're busy."

"Spike, please don't. I know I'm the one at fault here. And yet, though I hate to say it, I really don't have time for you right now." Twilight sighed then said, "I'm not a very good mother, am I?"

"No!" Spike shouted, jumping onto Twilight with a hug. "You're the best mom ever! I wouldn't trade you for anypony! I just – I just wish you were around more often…"

Spike felt a wing hug him as Twilight said, "I know, Spike. I know. But it's not exactly like I'm off having fun on my own either." Twilight giggled – a rare enough event that it was wonderfully calming. "I mean, I'm supposed to be, but it's not really happening."

"What about Sweetie Belle?" Spike muttered. There was no way Twilight did not hear it as clearly as if he had said it normally, but half of him wished it were so.

"Oh, yes. She's quite charming, really," Twilight answered, completely wrecking the mood. "She needs some work and a lot of polishing, but she has real potential. Did you know her sister once had to stop her from 'taking out the trash' with fire? That would have worked too. Such a shame."

Twilight looked down at Spike before he had a chance to work off the frown on his face.

"Oh, and naturally it was regular magical fire, not dragonfire. So no, you're not allowed to do that."

Great. Worst-case scenario confirmed. I have two Princess Celestia's competing for her time now. And here I thought one was bad enough.

"Spike? Spike, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Spike sighed. "Did I grow some more or something?"

"Well, no… But you've got this –" Twilight paused and waved her forehoof in small circles "– this look about you. I at least like to pretend I know you well enough to know you're upset about something."

Biting his lip, Spike tried to think of something, anything, he could possibly say that would not come off as bitterly selfish. Everything about this situation was unfair to everypony, and he hated that he was mature enough to know it.

He could not blame Twilight; she did not have any other options.

He could not blame Princess Celestia; her options were just as constrained, if not more so.

He could not blame Sweetie Belle; she was perhaps the most innocent in this.

He could not blame the elements; they were not sapient – probably.

He could not blame Luna; from what little Twilight had revealed, it would not be fair to judge her in her current state, nor would it accomplish anything if he did, regardless of her mental stability.

This is totally lame.

"Spike?" Twilight said, awkwardly contorting to lift his head with a hoof. "Please tell me what's bothering you. If relevant, I promise in advance I won't get mad and or think less of you."

"It's nothing," Spike sighed. "It's dumb and unfair, and I hate that I feel this way. I just want to be alone right now."

Twilight hesitated, and then said, "I would normally be happy to oblige, but…"

"But I'm liable to become a giant monster, go on a rampage, destroy the castle, and injure a lot of ponies," finished Spike.

"You're not a monster, Spike," Twilight said with her 'this is a fact, now shut up' voice. "Now stop trying to avoid the question and tell me what's wrong, or else I'm going to bring Sweetie here and see what she has to say."

Eyes wide, Spike jumped up and knocked Twilight's wing away, shouting, "No!" That won't end well! That won't end well at all!

"Then start talking."

"Okay, okay. I – I'm just…lonely. And jealous, I guess. A bit." Twilight's face fell, and Spike quickly added, "I know it's unfair. I didn't want to bother–"

Spike grunted as Twilight pulled him into a hug that was more than a little too tight. She promptly relaxed her grip, locked eyes, and said, "You're never a bother. I wish you didn't have to put up with, well, with me in general."

"That's not…" Spike began, but he trailed off before he dug himself further into a hole. Twilight would not probe further if he just said nothing.

"Not what?"

Too late. Spike resisted the urge to bury his face in his claws and, giving up, said, "It's like this: You're busy and have a lot of stuff to do. I understand. You wouldn't be you any other way. I'm totally used to that. And besides, what's cooler than having the archmage for a mom, a princess for an aunt and cousin, and an alicorn for a…a grandma?"

Spike stopped for a breath and continued, "And I'm even a dragon. That's pretty sweet. I really don't have anything to complain about. But there are times when…"

"When?" echoed Twilight. The look on her face said she was lost, and Spike laughed weakly at it. It was so Twilight to have no clue where he was going, or on the off chance she did, to make him say it to be sure.

"When you'd obviously rather have a unicorn – or nopony, I guess."

"I" – Twilight paused and bit her lip – "can't completely deny that. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. I did adopt you, after all. I didn't have to, and nopony wanted me to except Cadance. Hay, even Celestia thought it was a bad idea. You know me well enough to know I wouldn't do that out of simple obligation or something."

"I know," Spike said, putting as much emphasis onto the words as possible. "But – I just – that's not it at all. Please don't make me say it."

"Spike, you can't stop now. Even without your current condition, I can't ignore this and still call myself your mom."

Sparing a quick glance toward Twilight, Spike caught a glimpse of her eyes.

Oh no. Not that look. That's not playing fair.

"Spike," Twilight called again. "Please."

Summoning all the courage he had, Spike blurted, "Sweetie Belle's going to replace me!"

A second passed. Then two.

Finally, Twilight asked, "I – do you really think I would do that?"

"Not intentionally," Spike mumbled.

"Then why do you think that?"

"Because you raised me to be observant and to use evidence," answered Spike.

Twilight smiled. "Yes, I did. And that's one of the many reasons I'll love you forever."

Forever…

Now frowning and with a serious tone, Twilight said, "Now tell me what you are basing this on."

Spike sighed away thoughts of a motherless eternity. "When was the last time you talked to grandma and grandpa?"

"Huh? Well…" Twilight's brows scrunched in thought. "Was it? No. Maybe… Yeah. Just after last Hearth's Warming – if you don't count…letters. So about two seasons now with the summer solstice just around the corner."

After a pause for that to sink in, Twilight added, "Oh, wow. It's been quite a while. Maybe I should switch polymorph duty with Shining for a season. Still, it's hardly unusual for foals to outgrow their parental figures."

"Mom, they live a single teleport away for you. They live in Canterlot. I can see their house from our tower. You could stop by for a meal every day without missing a beat in your schedule."

"I – I guess that's true."

"They asked me not to tell you this when I overheard them, but do you know what they think about that? The same thing I think? I meant it when I said Princess Celestia was my grandma. She replaced them in your heart. And she looks at you the same way you look at me."

"Spike, stop." Twilight looked ready to switch into full panic. At the least, her ear was not twitching yet. "Can you – can you give me a minute to think?"

Spike leaned back, a small nod and smile on his face. Once Twilight was absorbed in her thoughts, he sighed and wiped some sweat from his eye – it was definitely not a tear. This was one of the reasons Twilight was the best mother ever: she really listened.

Spike spent the next few minutes of silence organizing his emotionally laden thoughts into something more palatable to Twilight. She had made it clear she was going to listen no matter what, but there were times when she simply did not understand unless you calmed down and remained as objective as possible. This may not have been one of those times, but it never hurt to be careful.

Faintly blushing, Twilight finally said, "Okay, I – I see your point. I suppose I have a couple of apologies to make before I go pick up the bearers and their luggage. I take it you're worried the same thing is going to happen with me and Sweetie."

Spike's eyebrows shot up. I didn't notice it before, but I'm sure this is the second time. She's already calling Sweetie Belle 'Sweetie'. I can't even tell if that's a pet name or not. Am I already too late?

"I'm not just worried. It's already happening. I mean, Sweetie Belle wasn't exactly subtle in the letters she sent me. She idolizes you."

Twilight coughed. "I…may already be aware of that."

"And did you even listen to yourself when you talked about her earlier? That's the way you're…" supposed to talk about me. Spike checked himself and said, "You were gushing. It's as simple as that.

"And I know you really do like teaching, as much as you complain about it when you're dragged down to Princess Celestia's school. You're always eager to teach when you find somepony that can actually keep up at least a little bit. You get this look in your eyes and sort of zone out and tune the rest of the world."

"Really?" Twilight asked. She then proceeded to answer her own question. "I guess I have enjoyed teaching Sweetie more than I thought I would. Do you have anything else to add?"

Spike shook his head. "Nothing important. At least, nothing relevant that you can't infer from what's been said." As an afterthought, he added, "And that I get that this isn't anypony's fault."

"All right then," said Twilight. She closed her eyes and hummed to herself before she said, "You have a point, Spike. So what do you want to do about it? You know I can't just drop Sweetie, and I wouldn't even if I could."

"I know," sighed Spike. "I don't know what to do. I mean, I like Sweetie Belle too, and I'm willing to share." Twilight giggled and Spike turned away. "I do put up with you and Princess Celestia, after all. Just…I don't want to share that much."

"Hence your growth spurt," added Twilight.

Oh, horseapples. Please, oh please don't–

"You want to hoard me!"

Oh no.

"That is just adorable!"

Twilight proceeded to nuzzle Spike, his mortified expression completely ignored or perhaps encouraging her.

"Mom!" Spike moaned. "Quit it!"

"Oh? But isn't this what you want?" teased Twilight. "My complete and undivided attention and affection?"

"No, I–"

"I'm quite curious. How does that even work?" Even with the question asked, Twilight did not let up her teasing cuddling. "Do I just sit around and feed you grapes?"

From the smile Twilight got, Spike knew his own face had betrayed him.

"Gems, actually," he muttered.

"Oh?" Twilight's horn lit up for a moment, and she held a sizable emerald in her magic after. "Perhaps we should go ahead and try? I haven't fed you since before you could talk."

Salivating, Spike half-shouted, "I can feed myself!"

"Aw, you're no fun." The emerald vanished and Twilight's wings vanished with it. "All teasing aside, what do you want me to do?"

"I–" Spike frowned. "I don't know…"

"I see," sighed Twilight. "I don't think we have the kind of relationship Pinkie Pi – Pinkie is an expert in. Cadance wouldn't be the pony to go to for advice either. Hmm…"

"What about Princess Celestia? She's been around the block before."

It took all of a second before Twilight turned away with perhaps the largest blush Spike had ever seen on her.

"N-no, I don't think that's a good idea." Rolling off her bed and onto her hooves, Twilight continued, "For now, why don't you just come with me?"

Skipping a breath, Spike asked, "You mean come with you, or leave with you?"

"Both, but more the latter. I'll let you stay until I kick Sweetie – Bon-Bon out."

A brief pause passed, and Spike said, "What?"

"Sweetie Drops, nicknamed Bon-Bon, is a pony I compromised on bringing with Lyra, the bearer for Honesty. Yes, I realize that's going to be confusing."

"Oooooh," said Spike, hopping onto Twilight's back and noticing he was back to his usual size.

"Maybe I should start calling you sweetie as well. Just to make everything more awkward."

"Please don't, Mom."

"Fine," Twilight pouted, opening her bedroom door with her magic.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"The living room slash library; I need to give Sweetie a few books."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Okay, assuming Sweetie Belle isn't there, where are we going that also includes her?"

"A partially refurbished lab of mine in the Frozen North. I'll drop you off with Sweetie and then come back to tell Shining I've taken you. And to give him a piece of my mind."

"Why?"

"No reason you need to worry about. Anyway, after that I'll make a quick stop at my parents' and then go pick up everypony else and come back. I shouldn't be gone too long."

A few scattered books vanished from Twilight's bookshelves with a quick flash of raspberry colored magic, and the familiar yank of teleportation took him far outside the castle. The scenery flew by in a flash of colors, and Spike gripped Twilight's coat a bit harder and shut his eyes. It would be really embarrassing to fall off at their destination.

"You can let go now, Spike," Twilight said.

Releasing his grip, Spike looked up and took in the laboratory. And a laboratory it was. It would not do the room justice to refer to it as a mere lab. It was a lot cleaner than he expected from Twilight, although there was the slightest hint of a strange smell and the scent of something delicious.

Leaning a bit to the side to allow Spike to hop to the floor, Twilight said, "Have fun. I'd imagine Sweetie will be here soon to pick up her books" – said books appeared on a nearby lab bench – "so she can show you around."

Spike nodded in answer, and Twilight fumbled for words. Eventually, she settled on a hug.

"I'll see you soon, Spike," she said, setting Spike back on the floor.

"Yeah, see ya."

Twilight's horn glowed, but she spared time for one last nuzzle and said, "I love you." She then disappeared before Spike could reply.

"I do too," sighed Spike to nopony. Oh well. I'm not cut out for all this filly, touchy-feely stuff anyway. Right? Spike took a moment to play with the thought and then nodded to himself, affirming his pride. Right.

Inhaling, Spike caught another whiff of that delicious scent. Taking deep breaths through his nose, he tried following it to its source but was met with no success.

Ugh. What is that? It smells better than fire rubies.

Turning his attention to the room instead of the smell, Spike ransacked it, tearing open every drawer and cabinet within sight. None of them contained so much as a hint of his prize.

And suddenly, as Spike was cleaning up, the smell intensified behind him. Licking his lips, he turned and froze. Only one thing had changed in the room, so it stood to reason that change was producing the smell.

Well, this is awkward.

"You can say that again," Sweetie Belle said.

Spike stumbled over his thoughts before he remembered Sweetie Belle could read minds.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Flashes of everything Spike did not want to speak of went through his mind with heavy emphasis on the past day which specifically concerned Sweetie Belle and which he did not want to say with all his heart.

Sweetie Belle rather obviously faked a cough.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of–"

Holding up a hoof, Sweetie Belle said, "I did not get…much of what you just thought. Try not to put your secrets into words or stop thinking about them before you actually think the – sorry, that did not come out right."

"So you…" didn't get anything important?

Before Spike could finish asking his question, Sweetie Belle said, "Not really. Mostly just names. Whatever you thought was too incoherent and jumbled up for me to listen in."

"Oh, um, great." Spike sighed and laughed nervously, searching for any topic to distract himself with. Instantly to his regret, he asked, "Has anypony ever told you you smell delicious?"

Looking away, Sweetie Belle answered, "Just you."

"Right…"

Head falling to the floor, Spike caught sight of something purple and looked back up. An idea crossed his mind.

"You cannot eat Generosity!" shouted Sweetie Belle.

"I didn't actually mean that! It just looks and smells so good. I've only ever eaten one magical artifact before and it was claw licking fantastic."

"Wait, you ate a magical artifact? Like, literally ate it?"

Spike nodded. "It wasn't as good as fire rubies, but it was very close." Sweetie Belle only looked more confused. "Um, did you know dragons eat gems?"

"No. No, I did not," she answered, crossing the room to Spike. "What exactly do you get out of them? Nutritionally, I mean."

"No idea. Mom tried explaining it to me once, but I was too young to understand all the magic involved in my digestion." Spike, trying not to let his jealousy creep into his voice or thoughts, added, "Probably still wouldn't understand either."

"Huh. Well what did you eat then?"

"Something called the Alicorn Amulet. Well, just the gem inset in it really, but all the enchantments were in the gem. Mom was pretty excited about some old star research notes or something that she found when she retrieved the amulet and just tossed it to me when I asked for it."

Sweetie Belle took a half step back when Spike's gaze dropped to Generosity. In fact, she had every single time Spike so much as looked in its general direction, but she always made the half step forward when she caught herself, and this time was no different.

Sighing, Spike thought, This isn't at all how I wanted to meet my re…ally interesting pen pal.

"Spike, if I am too awkward to be around right now, Generosity only has an approximately thirty meter range on its passive telepathy. And this…complex is huge. I would not even know where to begin listing all the stuff In – Ar…Twilight keeps here. And I do not even know what half of it is!"

It was not the same, but Spike could see the similarities. Sweetie Belle had a sparkle in her eye. On Twilight, it meant she wanted to be left alone for the next several hours – or days – to pursue her latest interest. On Sweetie Belle, Spike could only guess, but it could not be good.

Spike facepalmed. No wonder Mom likes her.

Breaking off whatever she was talking about, Sweetie Belle asked, "Did you say something?"

"Not really," Spike answered, but she seemed to be stricken by her own question.

"No, you did say something. Well, thought something. But I missed it! I mean, I heard you, but you were like white noise in a crowded room!"

Feeling like he was completely missing the point, Spike said, "Aaaand?"

"Oh, right. I never told you. So remember the second letter I sent you yesterday? I said I cannot stop listening to ponies, but Twilight said I can learn to filter instead of hearing everything. And I just missed something you said!"

"So…you want to…ignore ponies?"

Sweetie Belle frowned. "It sounds bad when you put it that way."

Looking around for something to change the topic to, Spike's gaze fell on the stack of books Twilight had left behind.

Before he could properly say anything, Sweetie Belle followed his gaze, squeeing as she turned her head sideways to read the titles on the spines.

That's kind of annoying.

Distracted, Sweetie Belle managed a weak apology.

"I didn't really mean to say that. But I do this. And this is just going to be super awkward, isn't it?"

"The crusaders manage somehow," Sweetie Belle replied, shrugging. She had given up tilting her head in favor of simply rotating the books. Suddenly her eyes went wide, and she half-shouted, "Are these what I think they are?"

Spike looked to the stack of books and glanced over the titles. He only had to read one to know exactly what these books were.

"Um… What do you think they are?"

"Were these books written by In – Twilight?"

"Secret identities never get old, do they?" Spike chuckled.

Sweetie Belle pouted, "I am working on it, okay. It was kind of a surprise."

Still smiling, Spike said, "Oh, I can imagine. Anyway, to answer your question, sort of. The TS initials are Mom's, but she didn't have the time to actually write them. They're haphazard arrangements of other ponies's work. She pulled them off of the shelves in our tower, so they're probably the original copies."

Sweetie Belle reacted halfway through Spike's last sentence. "She's giving me the originals! What if I ruin them?"

"She'll just fix them," Spike said, shrugging. "Unless you go out of your way to destroy them, I doubt you'll actually be able to put them in a state beyond repair."

"Huh." Sweetie Belle paused and then turned her attention back to the stack of books. "103 Spells Every Unicorn Should Know? I – why a hundred and three?"

Exhaling and rolling his eyes, Spike answered, "Because, and I quote, 'ninety-nine is setting the bar too low, one-hundred is boring and average, a hundred and one is cliché, and a hundred and two is for ponies pretending to be smart.'"

"I…"

"Just roll with it. It all makes sense to her." Spike was content to watch Sweetie Belle struggle with what she had just heard, but he remembered something else important. "Oh, and be sure you do not ask her about why she made them or anything approaching that topic in any way."

"What? Why not?"

"So sometimes she goes to Princess Celestia's school and lectures – never by choice. She put these books together and intended to give out copies as homework, but the actual teachers noticed her brining in thousands of books all at once and told her no. Now, she gets into one of her moods every time it's brought up."

"Right… So what did she do with all the extra copies?"

"She sent them to libraries all across Equestria."

Kicking air with a fore hoof, Sweetie Belle said, "I guess Ponyville was too small to warrant attention."

Spike merely shrugged. He was unaware of library politics and was not inclined to learn.

"Hey, would you…" mumbled Sweetie Belle. It looked like she kept talking, but she did not produce anything audible.

"Would I what? I'm not the mind reader here."

"Heh. Of course not. I guess, would you tell me about the real Twilight? Not the one I read about in the papers and heard about from my sister and through the grapevine."

No, no, no. Keep your thoughts private, Spike. Don't blow it all now.

"Spike, I – like I said, if you are not comfortable around me, I can stay away."

Ugh… She probably was not doing it on purpose, but Sweetie Belle pulled off the sad filly look to frightening effect. "I'm fine."

"Please–"

"I'm fine," Spike said, slamming his tail on the ground. "I just need to get used to this whole mind reading thing. Anyway, what did you want to know?"

"Well, Twilight said she hatched you. Why not start there?"

Twilight looked over Ponyville from high above atop a small cloud, deciding on her first target. It had been barely a week since it was chosen to host the Summer Sun Celebration, but the small town already had doubled in size.

She was still slightly upset over her conversation – if it could be called that – with Shining. And that Spike of all ponies had been the one to let it slip that she had been hospitalized without mentioning that it was on unrelated business that Shining should just keep his nose out of.

Sigh. Thinking the word did little to ease Twilight's mood. It's not like Spike did anything wrong. Sweetie let it slip to him, and Shining pumped him for information over dinner and sent Flash of all ponies!

Utilizing the Royal Breathing Exercises, Twilight repeated, In, and out, to herself until she was calm again.

What terrible timing.

Twilight rolled over on the cloud and stretched her back. Normal clouds were better than mattresses in general, but they featured unpleasant bulges.

Anyway, whom should I pick up first? I don't want to leave Pinkie or Flash alone with Spike and Sweetie, so I guess that means Trixie or Lyra first. Hmm… I think Lyra. I can take both her and Bon-Bon at the same time that way.

Picking out Lyra's house, Twilight teleported to the front door and invited herself inside. Both of her passengers were seated in the living room just past the entrance. Lyra was in the odd, upright position she favored, leaning on a small pile of bags and facing Twilight.

"Are you two ready to leave?"

"Index?" Bon-Bon asked, expecting the wrong pony. "Did something – ow!" Bon-Bon's head was yanked back toward Lyra before she could see Twilight.

"Sorry, Bon-Bon," Lyra said. "I just – we got distracted. I was going to tell you right after I got back, but… Well, anyway, Index isn't a real pony. She's just a disguise."

"Yes, you mentioned that the night I… You mentioned that."

"Right… So anyway, it's not like I was keeping this a secret or anything. I just found out who she was last night. Okay?"

"Yes, yes," Bon-Bon sighed. "I'm not mad or anything."

"Are you two quite done?" Twilight asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Um…yeah. Go ahead, Bon-Bon."

Bon-Bon turned around, probably after finishing an eye-roll based on her initial appearance. However, her expression was quickly supplanted by shock.

"A-Archmage Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight held up a hoof and said, "Just Twilight. Anyway, is that everything you're taking?"

Lyra, looking down at the bags Twilight was eying, answered, "Yes. Unless we need to bring food or something?"

"No," Twilight said and teleported everypony high above Ponyville. She quickly finished her string of teleports and landed inside the main room of her lab where Sweetie and Spike where waiting as requested.

Once Twilight was confident Bon-Bon was no longer in danger of vomiting, she said, "I believe you two and Sweetie know each other, but this is my colt, Spike. Spike, this is Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops."

"Oh, right. That'd make you Bon-Bon, right?" Spike asked.

"Er…yes." Bon-Bon leaned over to Lyra and whispered, "She does know he's a dragon, right? I mean, he is a dragon, right?"

Sweetie leaned into Spike and whispered a summary of what Bon-Bon had said and thought, and both foals shared a laugh.

"For future reference," Twilight sighed, barely resisting a facehoof, "Sweetie is a mind reader, and I have very good hearing. Whispering is not effective here."

"Sorry," said Bon-Bon, blushing and looking away.

Tuning out the other three, Twilight asked Sweetie, "How are you holding up with four ponies?"

Sweetie bit her lip for the briefest of moments. "It hurt a little bit when they first showed up, but I can tolerate this easily."

"Great! I'll bring the others one by one. Let me know immediately if it's too much."

Twilight teleported out and back to Ponyville after Sweetie nodded. Pulling out her latest festival dossier, she thought, Trixie is staying at…her wagon?

An eyebrow raised, Twilight scanned the rapidly developing outskirts of Ponyville and found her goal. Trixie's wagon was a small, yellow and red affair with a few blue accents and the oddest indentations in the wheels much like a train's. Her cutie mark hung above the entrance, emblazoned on a sign under which Trixie herself sat reading a book.

Twilight teleported just above the ground and fell softly to her hooves. Now that she was closer, Trixie's wagon was obviously not as innocent as it appeared. Just from a cursory glance, she could pick out an impressive number of spells warping space inside the wagon.

While Twilight was trying to decide if offering a compliment was a good idea, Trixie summoned a bookmark, placed it, and closed her book which vanished.

"Twilight Sparkle, I am in a surprisingly good mood right now thanks to your princess."

"Yes, I know. Which reminds me, I need to explain what Laughter does."

"Princess Celestia did that for you. Just give me the destination coordinates to wherever we're going, and I'll make my way there shortly."

"I – you know what? Sure." Twilight summoned a piece of parchment and, forgoing quill and ink, inscribed her workshop's coordinates onto the paper with her magic. "It's underground in the Frozen North, and there are ponies congregating at the entrance, so don't blind port in."

Trixie rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah, Sparklebutt. I'm pretty sure Luna gave me the exact same lectures on teleport safety that Princess Celestia gave you." Taking the parchment in her own magic, Trixie added, "Now if you don't mind, I have to make my big, dramatic exit now."

When Trixie turned around and entered her wagon, Twilight caught a short glimpse inside and laughed, barely remembering to note that Laughter's effects had not ended when Trixie entered the warped space.

Okay, so she's got a lot of room in there, but a ten meter statue slash fountain of herself is over the top even for her. Maybe we should start taxing excessive drains on Equus's ambient magic. No wonder she's a traveling performer though; that thing would be a nightmare for her neighbors if she left it in one spot.

Suddenly and without warning, Trixie's wagon rolled forward, starting from a dead stop and quickly reaching a brisk canter. It then produced a thin rail of cloud and raced off into the sky atop them, two short segments of the rail trailing behind the wheels before dispersing.

Twilight facehoofed as soon as Laughter was out of range. I don't know if I should call that brilliant or idiotic. Watching the wagon recede past the horizon at a ridiculous speed for a formerly ground-bound method of transportation, she decided it was what Trixie had said: dramatic.

At least I learned that the elements's range limits aren't affected by dimensional distortions. Not that I expect that to actually matter.

Shaking her head, Twilight pulled out her dossier again and checked where Flash, as the former representative for the Royal Guard and Shining's annoying pawn, had been assigned to stay. He had been fortunate enough to receive a room at one of the newly constructed inns instead of with Pinkie.

Twilight made her way to the inn in two short jumps and bypassed a gathering of ponies and a flight of stairs with a four more short jumps, arriving directly in front of Flash's door.

After knocking, Twilight heard Flash shout, "Come in!"

"You're ready to leave, right?" Twilight asked as she entered. Flash's room was barren of all but the essentials, much like the ones Twilight had hastily constructed in her workshop, and he possessed no bags except his saddlebags.

"Yes, Ar" – Flash was halfway to saluting before he caught himself – "Twilight."

"Great. Fifteen minutes after I leave, teleport to my position. I'll be sure to clear out the area for you. If you don't arrive within a minute, I'll assume you can't figure out Loyalty and need help."

Twilight turned to leave before things became awkward or involved windows, but Flash said, "Wait. I practiced using Loyalty with a friend I made here like you told me to–"

Oh ponyfeathers. I didn't think that through. "You swore that pony to secrecy, correct?"

"Yes. I told her no more than was ne – well, I told her a tiny bit more than necessary, but I did explain that it was highly confidential information."

"All right. I would prefer if you come back and have her make a Pinkie Promise after you meet Pinkie, but I will not require it if you think she can be trusted."

Flash nodded and said, "She's definitely the kind of mare that knows how to keep secrets. But I was trying to tell you that I can't take luggage. Or at least, I haven't figured out how to."

"What, really?" Twilight asked on instinct. "Dumb question. But that means Loyalty has some means of distinguishing what counts as its bearer and what doesn't. Do loose hairs in your mane count? What about sweat? Oils? Internal waste? Did you experience any strange bodily functions afterward? Maybe a temporary loss of breath?"

Flash let out a single half-aborted laugh and replied, "No, not that I know of."

"We'll have to experiment later, then." For some reason, Flash's eyebrows rose. "I should try grafting another pony onto you to see if she would go with."

"Err… For now, could you just take my saddlebags?"

"What?" Twilight said, broken from her thoughts. "Oh, yeah. Sure."

Taking the saddlebags into her bag of holding and scolding herself for going into full-experiment mode, Twilight made her exit.

Finally on her last stop, Index teleported into a shady area between two buildings not far removed from Sugarcube Corner. A quick walk later and she found herself in Sugarcube Corner in the legs of Pinkie.

"Oh my gosh, Index, I was so worried! You never came home last night, and I kept thinking, 'What if the bad guys got her?' and, 'What if she's been brainwashed and turned into a slave?' I'm so glad you're okay! You got some sleep, right? You're okay, right? You're not evil, right?"

Index sighed. At least I'm getting better at seeing her coming. "Pinkie, I'm fine. And of the same moral disposition as when I left."

Pinkie studied Index intently for a moment before she broke into a smile. "Great! None of my Pinkie Senses were going off, so I figured you were fine, but I really couldn't help myself from worrying about you. Especially after that whole hospitalization thing. But anyway, have you heard the fantastirific news yet?"

"That's not a – nevermind. What news?"

Oozing – Index could not think of a better way to describe it – to Index's side and whispering in her ear conspiratorially, Pinkie said, "Changelings are public."

"Ah. I'm surprised the that's spread so quickly. I wonder what Celestia had to do to make that happen." Index's eyes went wide as a horrible thought occurred to her. "Pinkie, you didn't–"

"Throw them a party?" Pinkie shouted, bouncing around nearby. "Yeppers!"

"Pinkie Pie! It's extremely rude to reveal somepony's secret identity!" Ignoring the slightly guilty feeling in her gut, Index continued, "Especially for those that have permanent identities."

Wow, I'm just digging the hole deeper…

"When did you even find time to do that?"

Patting Index on the withers, Pinkie said, "Don't worry, Index. I had plenty of time to pack a picnic for seven–"

"Eight, actually," corrected Index, "but that's not–"

"Eight!" Pinkie gasped. "Oh no! I only packed for seven! This is terrible! I can't let a pony go hungry!"

Pinkie tried to dash toward the kitchen – and presumably to pick up the stray picnic basket on a table along the way – but Index held her in place with magic.

"It's fine, Pinkie. I don't actually need to eat. I'll just grab a snack or share with Spike."

"Spike's coming? Spike's coming! That's–"

Seeing the odd looks the Sugarcube Corner's customers were giving them, Index interrupted, "Pinkie. Indoor voice." And think before you start shouting…

"Oh. Oh, right." Pinkie winked. Index facehoofed. "Are you really, super duper sure that I don't need to go pack another lunch?"

"Yes, it's fine. Let's just get your luggage and leave."

"Okay," Pinkie sang as she bounced away with her picnic basket. That, at least, nopony seemed particularly interested in. It was just Pinkie being Pinkie.

Index sighed, And I'm one of them.

As Index reached the second floor, Pinkie came hopping back with a suitcase: Index's.

"I'm not taking that with, Pinkie."

"But it's got a bunch of your stuff in it," Pinkie protested.

"Yes, it does. But I don't need Index's luggage." A split second of confusion passed before Pinkie understood. Index teleported the suitcase back onto her bunk and asked, "Where's your stuff?"

"I'm good!"

"But–" was as far as Index got before shaking her head. She can probably just pull whatever she needs from her mane. Ugh. That's driving me nuts. I need to study how she's doing that.

No, bad Twilight. Index gave herself a light, magical slap. Experiment later. How many times do you have to tell yourself to deal with Luna first?

After ushering Pinkie back into their room, Index teleported them out of Ponyville. Making the journey across Equestria – hopefully for the last time – Twilight and Pinkie appeared inside her lab.

I swear, if anypony forgot something, I'm not making the trip. Twilight shook her head. Where did that come from? Why do I – oh buck, Laughter.

Twilight brought her attention away from her thoughts and back to the room. Apparently those protective enchantments on her equipment were paying off sooner than expected.

After going through a round of the Royal Breathing Exercises, Twilight barked, "What are you doing?"

The scuffle stopped immediately – unexpected ear damage worked wonders – and Sweetie fell to the ground from Trixie with a whimper. Of the three involved in this fight, Spike was the only one without any visible wounds, but he was obviously favoring his left leg.

On the other side of the room, Lyra and Bon-Bon had scattered bruises everywhere, but no open wounds. Of the two, Lyra had clearly lost the fight.

At least Trixie and Lyra didn't kill anypony.

Twilight summoned Laughter away from Trixie – berating herself for not doing so immediately – and the fog of anger lifted from everypony present except Trixie, who was the source. She then released Pinkie from her magical hold and watched curiously as Pinkie's mane returned to its normal state.

"Okay, look," Twilight said, now addressing four very guilty looking ponies and Trixie, who looked half-ready to kill Twilight. "Whatever happened, nopony's at fault. I'm sure this was just a negative spiral perpetuated by Laughter, right?"

Everypony but Pinkie nodded, even Trixie, although begrudgingly. Twilight released her hold on Laughter and returned it to Trixie.

"Don't put that back on until you calm down."

"Fine," spat Trixie, not that it stopped her from essentially fondling the necklace.

"Now, first things first, everypony get yourself back to normal health."

And at that exact moment, Flash teleported into the lab, approximately above where Spike was walking to Twilight. Rather than catching Flash, she yanked Spike forward to her hooves and elicited a whimper from him.

"What part of this was cleared out?" Flash mumbled.

At the same time, Twilight said, "Sorry, Spike."

Flash looked around. His eyes settled on Sweetie, and he took a step forward before shaking his head and stopping. "Why is everypony injured?"

"Because–"

Pinkie Pie shouted over Sweetie, "Oh my gosh! That is so wonderful!"

Twilight looked up from fussing over Spike, suddenly concerned. Everypony else was just confused.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a love–" Pinkie broke off when she turned and saw the death glare Twilight was giving her.

Realizing that death glaring was not the best idea right now, Twilight softened her face and said, "Pinkie, check the other end."

With her 'I'm going to violate your privacy' thoughtful stare and jaw rub, Pinkie's face fell. "Oh… But Twilight–"

"Don't play matchmaker with me, Pinkie." The oddest sigh of relief came from Spike who was still held in Twilight's hooves. "Anyway, you should be more careful before you blurt out somepony's feelings like that. They might be secret and secret for a rea–"

Twilight realized a second too late.

"You're a seapony?" Sweetie shouted, hoof pointed at Lyra.

"Fantastic," Trixie muttered. "No wonder I liked you."

"Bon-Bon!" hissed Lyra.

"Sorry," Bon-Bon whimpered. She cringed as a bruise healed not-so-gently.

Flash teleported in-between Twilight and Lyra and stood ready, but took no other action.

Spike said, "Whoa."

Twilight facehoofed.

And predictably, Pinkie shouted, "Oh my gosh! I just have to throw you a party, Lyra! Are there other seaponies in Ponyville, or are you the only one? What about Saddle Lake?" Pinkie gasped. "Did you get stuck in Saddle Lake somehow and couldn't make it back home so you decided to settle down with Bon-Bon?"

Bon-Bon looked away from Lyra as the latter continued healing her bruises – Lyra had quickly refreshed her polymorph to fix her own now that her secret was out.

"It's not that kind of love, Pinkie. At least…not right now. I'm…trying."

Tuning out the melodrama, Twilight asked, "Sweetie, do you need any help?"

She hesitated, but eventually Sweetie gave a small nod and walked up to Twilight, standing next to Spike. She was not quite limping, but there was definitely something wrong with her right, rear leg.

As Twilight began her examination of Sweetie, she leaned down and asked, "So considering you aren't screaming your head off, I take it you're able to at least manage everypony here. But what about" – Twilight looked toward Pinkie and finished in her thoughts – "Pinkie? Is she…sane? Are you coping with her well?"

"I…" Sweetie said, one forehoof rubbing the other leg.

"Whatever the truth is, Sweetie, just say it. Adjusting to Generosity is not a race."

"I…would not want to do this often. I was so sure Bon-Bon said that aloud."

"I figured as much," Twilight sighed. Spike offered a hug which Sweetie quickly took him up on. "It's okay. I came here knowing this would be a train wreck. But anyway, what about Pinkie? I'm dying to know."

"Well, she is…normal. Sort of. Pardon my Prench, but she won't shut up. She is…really distracting."

"I see," Twilight murmured. "I don't think that tells me anything useful, but thank you. Anyway, I found out what your problem is. Shift your weight completely off your rear leg, and I'll fix it for you."

Once Twilight got the go-ahead from Sweetie, she said, "Your leg is dislocated, so I'm going to shut off your nervous system in–"

"What?" Sweetie shouted, her weight shifting back onto her injured leg and causing her to shriek.

Taking the initiative, Spike helped support her and said, "Relax. It's standard operating procedure in Canterlot where ponies have the money to pay for it."

Smiling and giving Spike an affectionate rub on the head, Twilight said, "Quite right. It doesn't hurt and, obviously, it's reversible. It just feels weird."

"Or rather, it doesn't feel," Spike added. His mildly disgusted face suggested he was recalling his oh so traumatic memories of his second teething.

Successfully keeping any sarcasm out of her voice, Twilight asked, "Anyway, ready?"

Sweetie shifted again and slowly nodded. On her end, Twilight made short work of the procedure. A few seconds passed, and it was over. Although, the aftermath was still threatening them.

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I should have muted the sound."

Sweetie gagged again, but once more controlled her urge to vomit.

"Mom!" Spike hissed.

"You're not helping either," Sweetie managed to say.

"Oh… Sorry… Can you help, Mom?"

"Unfortunately, no. Well, I could a bit, I guess. This is a purely mental reaction triggering a mechanical process. I could reset her gag – ah, this is just making it worse for you, isn't it?"

Sweetie nodded. And then she inexplicably blushed.

Confused, Twilight looked up to check what was occurring elsewhere. Pinkie and Flash were whispering to each other to lowly for Twilight to comprehend over Lyra's and Bon-Bon's very not embarrassing apologies to each other.

That left Trixie who was staring at the three of them. When Twilight locked eyes with her, she smirked and left to join Lyra's conversation. She was wearing Laughter again, so she was calm again at least.

"What did Trixie say to you?" asked Twilight.

"N-nothing." Sweetie's blush only grew brighter. "I-is anypony else hungry?"

"Really? Really, Sweetie? That's how you're going to change the topic. Now of all times?"

"Actually, I'm kind of hungry too."

"You're not helping, Spike. Anyway–"

Pinkie appeared in their midst, interrupting Twilight and swinging her picnic basket around. "Did somepony say hungry?"

Sigh. "I suppose I'll drop this for now, Sweetie. If you really are hungry, that is."

Spinning toward Pinkie, Sweetie said, "I am! I am very, very hungry. I could eat an entire oak." She added a fake stomach growl. "See. Look how hungry I am. We should go eat. Right now."

It was quiet. Cold and quiet. There was no wind, no snowstorm, no hail to break the silence, only the occasional sound of teeth on teeth.

Spike belched.

"Ugh…" he moaned, rubbing his bloated stomach. "I don't ever want to see another diamond again."

"So he says, but he never learns," Twilight said.

Sweetie gave a faint laugh, but no more. Even Pinkie's fervor was subdued.

All right, even I have to admit it. This is objectively awkward. Falling onto her back – partially off the blanket and onto the snow – Twilight stared up at the northern aurora, no ideas forthcoming for fixing this. At least I've learned the Frozen North is a great place for a picnic.

"So…" Flash started. After a long delay with many eager stares, he finished, "What's it like being a seapony?"

After polishing off a sandwich, Lyra said, "I don't want to talk about it."

And there goes the conversation again… Maybe we should just go back to fighting each other.

Twilight blinked once, then twice, then fought off the urge to facehoof.

This has to be the stupidest idea I've ever come up with. Switching to Modern Equestrian, Twilight said, "Sweetie, don't respond to this. Just throw a snowball at Lyra."

Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight could see Sweetie hesitate. Fortunately – or not – the look was far from unusual for her; she had been cringing quite often in the presence of so many ponies.

"Please, Sweetie. I can't be the one to start this. It would just make Lyra and Trixie mad."

Without so much as a nod, Sweetie landed the first blow, pelting Lyra in her side with a small snowball. Once the initial shock had passed – conveniently timed by Pinkie's gasp – Twilight followed up with her own pair of snowballs. One hit Lyra, but Trixie caught the one aimed at her.

"Round two?" Twilight smirked. Seven snowballs rotated in her magic nearby.

Trixie was the first to respond, beating out Pinkie shouting, "Snowball Fight!" by a fraction of a second. Twilight laughed as the snowball deflected off her shield and nailed Flash hard enough to knock him over.

"That's definitely cheating this time, Sparklebutt."

"Says the one who caught her snowball," Lyra complained, ridding her coat of snow.

"Playground rules, then?" Six blank looks – Pinkie was missing – greeted Trixie's words. "Are you all serious? Am I the only one with a foalhood around here?"

"Cheerilee forbids us from having snowball fights."

"Sunshine was the same way," Bon-Bon agreed.

"Nopony my age wants to play against me," Spike said, his claws held out and flexing suggestively.

"Expelled," Twilight mumbled.

"Grew up on the coast," Flash said.

"The other fries spent more time singing and dancing around the vanquished." Lyra paused. Nopony said a word. "Oh, and climate problems."

Flash coughed.

"Yeah. Anyway. So, telekinesis only, on snow only, and nothing beyond the reach of your hoof. And no catching snowballs, I guess."

Half the group looked at each other.

"What about us?" Flash asked.

"Eh, whatever."

"What about forts? I'm pretty sure forts are an important part of the game," said Twilight.

Trixie hummed to herself, and Lyra suggested, "How about ten minutes to go crazy and build whatever, however?" As an afterthought, she added, "And no enchanting. Snow only."

Drat. "Alright. So…teams?"

"For the last time, thank you for your concern, but neither I nor my archmage are, or have been, under the influence of any mind-altering spells or substances." Princess Celestia certainly did not sound annoyed, but her usual patient understanding long since had departed.

Daisy sat next to Princess Cadance and Queen Chrysalis, both of whom Princess Celestia had invited to this special session of open court. Espionage and Octavia were also sitting in and sat on the other side of Princess Celestia.

Opposite the throne stood the five proper – as they would say – members of the royal family, although two belonged only by marriage. They had shot death glares alternating at Queen Chrysalis and Espionage the entire time while they expressed their concerns for their 'Dear Aunt Celestia'.

"But Princess–"

"Enough," Princess Celestia stated. Daisy could not put her hoof on it, but her tone sounded vaguely familiar somehow.

Regardless, that single word had the desired effect, and on Prince Presto especially whom Princess Celestia had interrupted. He seemed to be a cross of indignant and desperate to find a bathroom.

In fact, the only pony in the room – besides Princess Celestia – who did not appear surprised was Princess Cadance who instead favored concern and embarrassment.

"Both Archmage Twilight Sparkle and I undergo regular screenings for such spells, and I have since before your family was adopted into mine. That shall be the last word on the subject. Please leave." She did not say it, but there was no doubt she meant, "Leave or you shall be escorted out and possibly to the less savory part of the castle."

The royals hastily exited with all the poise expected of them, but Daisy could see occasional quiver in their legs as the act momentarily lapsed.

"Lined Weld," Princess Celestia said, addressing her herald flatly, "please see the next petitioner in." The herald unfurled his scroll and opened his mouth, but Princess Celestia interrupted, "My apologies, hold for a moment."

A second later, a yellow pegasus with a flame colored mane entered the throne room from a side door.

"Princess Celestia, might I ask for a moment of your time?"

"I should be happy to grant you an audience, Captain Spitfire."

Daisy overheard Princess Cadance whisper to Queen Chrysalis, "Anything else would make her happy at this point."

Ignoring the faint laughter, Captain Spitfire said, "I would usually report this to the archmage, but…"

"It's fine," Daisy said.

"Please continue, captain."

"Ah, yes, Your Majesty. The Wonderbolts have reported a large-scale, magical weather disturbance in the Frozen North. We are currently unable to determine the cause or party responsible as we are unable to enter the area safely, but the commander and I are both concerned it could be some scheme of…hers.

"From the effects we can observe on the fringe and from above, it appears to be a hailstorm, except…with snow."

Princess Celestia leaned back in her throne and asked, "Forgive me, Captain, but do you perchance mean a blizzard?"

"Not…exactly. The snow is packed into – usually – small balls like large hail."

"Like a snowball?" Princess Cadance asked.

"I suppose so. But the thing is, some of them are half the size of a pony and some fall up before gravity, well, remembers to pull down."

Everypony turned to Princess Celestia only to find her with her eyes closed, her horn glowing. Finally, she opened her eyes. Her face blank, her voice solemn, she said, "Court is adjourned. We shall reopen proceedings tomorrow morning one hour after dawn." Rising to her hooves, she continued, "Now then, if you six would follow me."

Princess Celestia led the group through the halls of the castle. The whole time she refused to answer any questions. Princess Cadance, it seemed, was the only pony who knew anything, and only after they had walked for some time. Either that, or strange and potentially threatening weather was a fascination of hers.

Eventually, they arrived at a room which screamed privacy. Daisy knew few enough spells to prevent eavesdropping, but she was no stranger to discussing sensitive information – now more than ever.

Once the door was open, Daisy found herself lost for words. Princess Celestia walked inside; Princess Cadance flew ahead, disappearing through another door inside, humming and swaying from side-to-side merrily as she went; and everypony else waited awkwardly at the door.

This… This looks like a private theater.

A popping sound came from the direction Princess Cadance had disappeared in.

"Watch out!" Bon-Bon shouted.

Trixie and Lyra looked up together and stopped the imminent collapse of the ceiling.

"Whew. Thanks, Bon-Bon," Lyra said before returning to digging forward through the snow with Trixie.

"Ugh, curse that Flash," grumbled Trixie. "How did he manage to whip up this weird blizzard so fast?"

"Probably was a joint effort with Pinkie. None of us have seen her since she disappeared."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Bon-Bon added.

"Bah! I still don't believe what you've told me about her."

"Twilight made a big deal about it too," Lyra said. "I think she started some big experiment."

"Wouldn't surprise me. No sense of priorities. No sense of fair play either."

"No kidding. I can't believe that cheap shot she made on our fort."

"At least we got out uninjured," Bon-Bon said, only for the other two mares to turn and stare at her. "Err, at least we got out without being disqualified?"

"True. Lyra, you got a good look at the damage to Sparklebutt's fort, right? Thoughts?"

"It's in bad shape, and the blizzard will tear it apart eventually. She's going to be busy just keeping it upright. If she doesn't abandon it."

"So she'll never see us coming. Excellent!"

"Um, not quite." Trixie turned around and hummed questioningly at Bon-Bon. "Well, I mean, there's Sweetie Belle. She'll know as soon as we get close, won't she?"

"Hmm… Her range should be approximately thirty meters."

"Well," Lyra began, "it would work just fine if we snuck up without thinking anything."

"A single stray thought would cost us our element of surprise, but we'd easily win otherwise."

"Too much to ask?"

"No, Lyra. I'm pretty sure I can do it, but you two, I'm not so sure. Especially together."

"Ah… I can stay behind," Bon-Bon offered.

"No," Lyra replied instantly. "Sorry, Bon-Bon, but you'd be in a lot of danger here. This level of…play is a bit too high for you to be on your own. I mean, the shield should protect you, but…"

"Why don't you two just stick together and give me some artillery support?"

Depths! I won't get to see Twilight squirm in defeat, but that's probably for the greater good. Lyra stopped digging and turned to Bon-Bon. "Alright. I'll set up a bunker and open fire in five minutes."

Trixie punched a hole upward and toward Twilight's fort with a snowball. "Make it six. I've still got a little way to go."

Twilight stood on a platform of floating snow, all of which was definitely within hoof's reach. Her job at this point consisted solely of emergency repairs. The ceilings especially were in disrepair, but Spike and Sweetie were both adamant in their refusal to abandon the fort.

Which I guess makes a bit of sense. This game will never end if nopony can find each other. Hopefully, Sweetie can snipe Flash, and I can deal with any infiltrators.

A snowball whizzed by only a few steps in front of Twilight. It blew a sizable hole through one of the support columns.

And hopefully that all happens soon. Lyra, Trixie, or both are getting more precise.

Twilight patched up what remaining damage she could fix with her supply of snow and headed back to the ground floor to pick up another load, inspecting the damage to the fort along the way.

Forget the support columns, one of the walls is going to go at some point, and then it'll be all over.

Halfway down the last staircase, Twilight was blown into the wall by what was effectively another wall made of snowballs.

"Argh! Come on! Why! Can I not! Hit you!" Sweetie Belle screamed.

The target of her fury, Flash Sentry, was dipping in and out of cloud cover. Every shot she sent his way was either sent wildly off course by the blizzard or dodged with ease. From time to time, he would hover in place, and although it was hard to tell, it looked a lot like he was yawning.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle," Spike said. "Calm down."

Turning on Spike, Sweetie Belle said, "But – but – he – the taunting! And – and – argh!"

"Look, I get that you're Mom's student, and that's cool and all, but her temper's not something you want to pick up on."

Sighing, Sweetie Belle said, "Sorry, Spike. Generosity has just been so stressful today."

"It's fine. You should ask Twilight to take you to – oh! I think I found Pinkie!"

"Where?" Sweetie Belle shouted, running to the small window Spike was looking out of.

"See that ball of snow moving out there?"

"I cannot – oh. Yeah. Keep an eye on Flash Sentry for me, please."

"Sure thing."

Sweetie Belle fired shot after shot in the general direction of her target, her aim improving with every try. There was no risk of running out of ammo with the storm constantly raining more inside. More troubling was the thought of the floor giving out if she did not rid the room of as much snow as possible as fast as possible.

Eventually, she managed to catch a faint trace of pink rolling the snow along, but it proved impossible to hit her target. Regardless of her aim or the storm, Pinkie Pie simply disappeared from sight whenever Sweetie Belle felt like her aim was true.

Pinkie Sense…

"Spike, I think hitting Pinkie Pie is a lost cause. Keep an eye on her, and maybe Twilight can hit her when she gets back."

"Sounds good," said Spike, switching places with Sweetie Belle. "Flash hasn't moved much. He's still under the only bare patch of sky."

"That seems suspicious." Sweetie Belle sucked on her lip and she resumed fire on Flash. She got a small smile when she tore the cloud he had been resting on to pieces, even if she did not hit him.

"Yeah. If Uncle Shining's taught me anything, he's obviously a distraction for Pinkie. I'll try to figure out what she's up to."

Stomping the floor in frustration, Sweetie Belle said, "Argh! I almost had him that time. Oh well. If you find out anything important send the signal to Twilight."

"Duh."

Sometime later, Spike asked, "Hey, Sweetie Belle? How strong is Pinkie?"

"How strong?" Sweetie Belle turned her attention away from Flash momentarily. "Well, she is an earth pony, so pretty strong. Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just, she's rolling that ball of snow around like it's nothing."

"And?"

"Yeah, that's the thing. What's she going to do with it?"

Sweetie Belle froze. What is she going to do with it? "You think–"

"She's going to throw it at us. Yeah, pretty sure. And she was missing for awhile before I spotted her. How many do you think she has?"

"Maybe we should – oh no."

"What's up?"

"Trixie just took out Twilight."

"What?" Spike shouted. "How did she sneak up on you?"

"No idea, but we need to brainstorm now. What do we do? Trixie is heading up here."

"The tower's linear. We can ambush her like she did Mom."

"Ehem." Trixie faked a cough in her thoughts. "Sweetie Belle, the Great and Powerful Trixie has slain Sparklebutt. You have two choices before you. You may join me and perhaps have a small chance at victory. Or you can perish here. I have no need of this fortress…"

"Horseapples." Spike faked a gasp. "Oh, ha ha. Trixie just threatened to destroy the tower if we do not surrender to her."

"You have one minute. Send Spike down alone to discuss the terms."

"And apparently we only have a minute for you to go down alone."

Eyes widening, Spike bolted for the stairs; it was a long climb down.

"Wait!"

Spike halted at the top step and turn back to Sweetie Belle.

"So, we probably will lose either way, but we can make sure Trixie loses too."

"How?"

"Keep her here."

"Pinkie." The name ran through Spike's thoughts, echoing over and over. He smirked and ran off.

Lyra's jaw dropped. She rubbed her eyes. She pinched herself with her magic.

She was not dreaming.

A giant snowball, easily three ponies in diameter – and thus mostly not within hoof's reach – flew through the air from off in the distance and collided with Twilight's fort, causing irreparable damage to the structure. The tower fell in on itself slowly, but that was not enough for the mystery assailant.

Another giant snowball impacted the fort. And another. And another.

One hit the very top of the tower and continued onward, a small patch of blue plastered on the near side. Two small purple dots fell out of the tower on a collision course with the ground. Lyra prepared to teleport to their rescue, but it appeared Twilight had everything well in hoof.

Lyra turned her attention back to the skies. Her mission had long since changed from dealing structural damage to joining the sniping attempt on Flash. However, he was nowhere to be seen.

But he was somewhere to be heard.

"Hello, friend."

Author's Note:

Still mirrored from : View the story there for a more edited, and complete, version.

Now featuring an editor with an actual account to credit! Thanks goes to amacita.

Also, here is a Change Log of edits that have been made between the last update and this one if you have not read it yet.

And one other thing. If you noticed that long comment I replied with recently, I must admit that I can see where Razzle Dazzle was coming from after thinking about it for a while when not up long past my bedtime, even if I still do not agree. I minorly expanded the part of Twilight's 'training montage' in the prelude when she was seven to reflect that. Nothing plot critical can be found there, but now you know.

P.S. I now have a progress report on my user page if you're ever wondering what I'm currently working on.