I'm Sorry, Percy

Curse this wretched bond between us. Curse these godly powers. Yes, despite being a god I do say that. Okay, I shouldn't have had said that. But when I look at the mortals, a desperate sigh escapes my lips. I feel downcast. Sometimes, sometimes I just wish that I was one of them. Then maybe…

I want to see my son. I want to see my Percy. Percy Jackson. But I can't because of this wretched bond.

Why did I fall in love with Sally? I wish I hadn't but I couldn't control that. It was not within my powers but I wish I could.

At least then, she wouldn't have to suffer from all that she has been going through. And then I wouldn't have been Percy's dad. A useless dad. A father who can't even see his son. A father who could never be with him. My heart aches at the thought. But I can't show my emotions. I simply can't show my emotions.

And Percy, Percy doesn't even know that he is my son, a demigod. That he is going to be punished by my brothers for a sin that he has not even committed. His only mistake is that he is my son. My son.

I've ruined his life. I don't know when he'll get to Camp Half Blood but I'm afraid to claim him. What if my brothers attacked him? What if they kill…no I won't think that far. I have been a very bad father to you Percy but I will protect you, I will protect you from everything that I can. I'll try to be a good father in any way I can.

I wish I could see you. You were very small when I saw you secretly, just for a second. You had smiled at me Percy. Your smile, it was the most beautiful thing that I had seen in my entire life of three thousand years.

But I can't see you. I can't even talk to you. Curse this wretched bond. I hope you will forgive your dad for never being around but I have been keeping an eye out for you Percy, though you don't know it. I'm sorry, Percy for never being there. For abandoning you.

I'm sorry.