Just a before hand note, this story is from Lights321's AO3 account, she asked me to publish it on fanfiction on my account. (So I have permission and any praise or comments should be directed towards her) I don't know why, but there was threats of eye lasers if I didn't - so here it is!

There may be familiar lines in this work of fiction, and they do not belong to me. Anything that looks familiar to the book, IS NOT MINE. The quotes belong to James Roberts, and the awesome people who drew the comic book.

Princess Lights: In my defense, I had a conversation with zombiesluvme, and obviously, with all the perverted nonsense we spewed, a decent idea actually came out. To be honest, I don't even...

zombiesluvme: The perverted nonsense was good too! My nose is still bleeding.

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Tarn narrowed his optics as his gaze swept over the surface of Cybertron. A prickle of annoyance slowly increased as he found the area completely empty of all lifeforms.

It was such a shame as well. It took such effort to land on Cybertron secretly without alerting their presence or raising any alarms, only to arrive and find that their target was... gone.

Deadlock had survived another day. But his luck would not last forever. Tarn swore to keep him alive for as long as possible when he caught him for this cowardly escape. He would make the mech regret ever prolonging the inevitable. Tarn paused from his thoughts as he noticed Kaon approaching him from the left. He turned to face his communications officer.

"Kaon, what happened?"

Kaon tilted his head and answered softly. "It would appear from the comm chatter going on, that the Autobot's quantum jumped before they were ready. Or they could have imploded in midair. Does it matter anyway? We have another energy signal closer to us then rather go hunting for Deadlock right now."

Tarn hummed in thought. "True enough. Black Shadow won't escape us now, will he?" He directed the question to the rest of his team, the cons standing not far from where he stood.

Tesarus ginned. "No sir."

Vos let out a hiss of annoyance as he gripped the Pet's leash firmer. Tarn sighed again. "There's no need to be upset Vos. He cannot outrun us forever. It is only a matter of time before we have him screaming at our pedes."

Helex grunted. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."

Kaon took a step toward the Peaceful Tyranny and suddenly a pillar of pink imploded from the ground from which Kaon nearly stepped on. The communications officer flew back hastily, his empty optic sockets wide with surprise. Landing ungracefully on his aft, Kaon gaped at the dying explosion that could have seriously damaged, or even killed, him.

The atmosphere changed, and all the members of the DJD looked toward where the explosion generated.

Tarn readied his double fusion cannon and gestured the others to stay back. If this enemy could predict so easily where his team could walk, Tarn did not want any more casualties. Kaon had been lucky.

He peered down the dark hole, and a small voice rang out.

"Any chance of a hand?"

Tarn peered down closely and saw the outline of a... minibot. It could be a trap, but Tarn was willing to risk a trap to demand an explanation of why the minibot had nearly blown his communications officer to bits.

He reached down and plucked the minibot out of the hole by the back of its neck.

Oh. It was...

...missing its legs. Maybe it wasn't as much of a threat as he first presumed. The minibot squirmed in his hold.

"Look, I'd really like to talk, but I'm going to miss my launch! Could you be so kind to carry me-Oh scrap, have I missed it?!"

Tarn remained quiet for a little while. "The launch? Do you mean the Lost Light?

The minibot shook his head wildly. "No, no, no! The Ark! Have I missed the launch to Benzuli? With Captain Nova Prime? Are you sure you're alright? This is only the most important expedition yet!"

Tarn stayed quiet this time. It was Kaon who spoke up. "Are you insane? If this is your idea of a joke, I hardly- Do you even know who we are?!"

The minibot tilted his head. "You're... a bunch of really scary bots? Um, my name's-"

Tarn held up a hand and successfully silenced the minibot. "You aren't joking? You were actually driving across the Mitteous Plateau to reach the Ark? The original Ark?"

The minibot nodded vigorously. Tarn gestured for the scientist. "Vos! Carbon date this minibot! I hope for your sake that you aren't lying, minibot, as this day has seen enough of its annoyances already."

"My... name's... Tailgate?"

Tarn handed 'Tailgate' to Vos, the scientist greedily accepting the new 'specimen'. Vos carefully examined Tailgate, flipping the minibot this way and that, uncaring of the squeaks and the muffled requests he elicited from his handling. Tarn ushered the rest of the DJD some distance away to discuss their current situation.

Tarn consulted the rest of his squad. "He's dead if he's lying to us. But if he's not…" Tarn trailed off. What would they do with him?

Tesarus shrugged. "We kill him anyway?"

Helex hummed in thought. "If he really was due for the Ark, isn't that around the time where there was no such thing as Decepticons or Autobots? We'd essentially be murdering a bot that missed the entire war."

"We've killed Neutrals before."

"Neutrals are cowards. They're aware of the war, and they choose to flee with their tails between their legs. We don't know what this one's decision could have been."

Kaon sighed. "Our record's messy enough. I don't like this, but if we let him live, it might spare us a little more pride when we face Megatron again."

Cue the awkward muttering and the small shuffling of gigantic pedes.

Tarn turned his head to see Vos still prodding at... Tailgate, was it?

"Now, what should we do with him?"

Kaon shrugged. "Drop him off at the nearest Autobot medical center. Maybe he could gather his bearings once he's rejoined civilization."

Helex grunted. "We're thinking too hard about this. We don't know whether he's telling the truth or not."

Tarn nodded. "I think Vos is done analyzing."

He walked over to where Vos was still engrossed with Tailgate's plating. "Well Vos? Is he telling the truth?"

The scientist replied excitedly, running his hands over the minibot, gesturing to certain parts of Tailgate. Tarn hummed in thought, his sharp optics running over the frame.

"Vos says you're certainly an antique. Six million years underground, hm?"

Tailgate stopped squirming.

"W-What? I don't- Six million years? I mean, Vos said I was pretty old, and I get that with my chronometer broken I can't- SIX MILLION YEARS?!"

Tarn looked at Tailgate's flickering visor, the light spilling out and the small hands wringing around. Years of war had made him immune to even the cutest- most unnecessary displays, but Tarn felt it important to divert the conversation before something stupid like a panic attack occured.

"You understand Vos?"

Tailgate looked up. "Of course! The best songs are sung in Primal Vernacular- You're changing the subject! I missed the flight! I- I'm six million years old!" Coolant started to pool at the bottom of the minibot's visor as his mouthplate started to shake, the onslaught of a full breakdown imminent.

Tarn looked down unimpressed. "You should be more concerned on how you'll survive now, instead of prattling on about the past."

Tailgate went into a stuttering mess, while Vos cooed and stroked the top of Tailgate's head, apparently calming the minibot down or creeping Tailgate out further. Tarn didn't really care.

Tarn went back to face the rest of the DJD. "Alright, we might as well just throw him onto the nearest Autobot medical station."

It was Tesarus that interrupted Tarn this time. "Wait Tarn! I just had an idea!"

Tarn looked toward Tesarus with his mouth pursed behind his mask. He could interrupt the gigantic blender now, but it was better to let Tesarus talk it out before it came to bite Tarn in the aft later.

"The little guy's just gunna die in the modern society. Why don't we take him with us? He could be a maid or something! You have to admit, the Peaceful Tyranny needs a little TLC, and none of us knows a slag about cleaning. A helper! Yeah, he could totally keep us entertained too!"

Kaon sighed with exasperation. "What about the cleaning droids you idiot?"

Tarn looked at Tesarus with new interest. "No, he has a point. Vos keeps pouching parts off our droids anyway. Tailgate is also a mech oblivious to the war isn't he? He could be easily persuaded to join our glorious cause."

Helex tilted his head. "He'd make a nice poster bot. Change the blue to red..."

Oh yeah, they could all see that. Tiny ancient minibot? Check. Helpless little bot? Check. Unbelievable cuteness? Checked. Maybe with this bot, they wouldn't get such a bad rep from the other faithful Decepticons. They weren't just a bunch of crazies, despite what others believed. DJD, the most sadistic murderers indeed! They were perfectly capable of convincing a bot to join the Decepticons!

Kaon even looked like he was leaning into the idea. "I heard Officer Soundwave has a thing for minibots..."

Ok, that did it. They were keeping this bot. Soundwave was officially the last magic word. (On the occasion they often had to go to the Third in Command for List Updates, and their relationship was quite strained for unexplainable reasons)

Tarn returned to Tailgate. "Tailgate, would you like to join us? To travel the universe, doing the greatest work that a Decepticon can do?"

Tailgate looked up miserably from where he was clutched to Vos' chest. "Yeah. Sure. Don't have anywhere to go anyway. Wait, what's a Decepticon?"

Tarn gestured to the Peaceful Tyranny. "Come aboard our ship, Tailgate, and I promise all will be explained."

"But before we explain anything," Kaon interrupted drily, "we need to fix your legs."

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Princess Lights: I'm so sick right now I must be brain damaged. Ahahahaha... (Who the hell am I kidding? I'M ALREADY BRAIN DAMAGED! F*CK YEAH!)

zombiesluvme: We're all a little bit brain damaged inside. (I told you to relax! Chicken soup and squirrel nibbles!)