If the nightmares has ceased, he almost wouldn't have minded being on a craftworld. He so often forgot where he was and who he was with, his misery changing his awareness of where he actually was. Alas, they had not and seemed almost as real as reality. Almost a year had passed since the Eldar had actually allowed him to remain on the Craftworld. Yet he was still miserable, he had failed to relate to anyone, no one appeared to 'want' to relate to him, they were polite, yet distant. Friendlier, but still highly reserved. Few, if any laughed with him, which was a great shame but at least they had stopped laughing at him as well. Loneliness is a terrible affliction to have, one could be surrounded by people and feel as though they were the last person in the universe. Alexander felt cursed, a pariah, exiled from nearly all social interaction. One does not need to be a genius to know that Humans are social by nature and by requirement. Once granted permission to live amongst the Eldar, he was released from the care of Aredhel and her family and given his own quarters within the halls of healing, there was surprisingly few eldar healers, or at least he expected there to be more, given the size of the Craftworld. Regardless, now that he was 'free' he was largely left to his own devices. Even Edrahil had made his visits rare, something Alexander had begun to regret most profoundly. With so much free time, he had begun to think more and more about the nature of Man. His thoughts yielded few results, but the conclusions he had come too weren't those of great wisdom or knowledge, if anything they were dark and colourless. How he missed someone he could talk too. There was such wisdom in the Eldar, or so they told him, yet all of it seemed so far away, even while he lay in the bosom of a Craftworld that had, if nothing else, come to accept his presence. His leg had been fixed by one of the healers, who made a passing remark that while the wound wasn't all that serious but would have no doubt caused ''some degree of pain''. He wondered frequently how Aredhel was and where she was, he didn't like to admit it but he missed her, far more than he thought he would, perhaps he missed having someone to talk to, perhaps he missed her hair or the shine of her eyes when angered. ''Few things'' he once told a friend ''are as haunting and as beautiful as a woman who is angry''

''You have a very peculiar idea of beauty'' came his friend's reply, accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

He thought about asking after her, but he knew that it would be unwise, and the Eldar thought little of those who disrupted scheduled, a fact that Alexander had finally begun to understand. Despite their outward image of emotionless calm, he found that they were actually highly passionate people, far more than he initially thought, and it was only through considerable effort were they able to check their passions, that and the so called 'paths' they wandered along. He slowly found a new respect for the Eldar when this was revealed to him, beneath each Eldar was a wild animal that could break through at any time and it was only through conscious effort and discipline that they found a balance. The more he thought about this strange state of affairs, the more he came to the conclusion that this was very much the same for humans, albeit on a lesser scale. Such thoughts caused him to throw away everything he thought he knew about the Eldar and start over. The conversations he had with himself produced a very new outlook and, over time, a very new Alexander. On this particular day, he was wandering the vast and empty halls of the temple of healing, the cold faces of long deceased healers now immortalized in bronze statues watching him with dead eyes, when a familiar face approached him. ''Elohiem'' Alexander said with surprise, before approaching the Eldar with his arms outstretched and a wide smile ''It's been far, far too long''

The tall Eldar smiled in response ''That it has, long enough that I began to wonder how our resident human was faring''

''Well enough, they keep me well fed here and my leg is all fixed up, good as new type stuff.'' Alexander said, patting his leg to emphasize his point. ''And there are few, if any instances of...abuse''

''I am glad to hear that'' Elohiem said with a smile ''but now I am curious to know what you have been doing with yourself since last we spoke, I remember you were thinking quite hard about the human spirit, I am curious to know what you have come up with'' the Eldar said with a hint of mock concern. They began walking along the corridors toward the gardens while they talked, passing works of art that put all human exemplars to shame, and great statues of Eldar legends that had long since passed away. They spoke for quite some time, Elohiem remaining silent for the most part while Alexander thought out loud. ''So you see, I am not sure what to think of Man any more. Once I believed we were simply capable of great acts of evil, as well as good. But that would suggest that we are born..somewhere in the middle, and yet it is often harder to 'be good'. Evil acts are very often easier, or more convenient. Good acts are...acts that need considerable time to even begin to form within our heads, they require proper thought and serious effort. Thus I am beginning to think that maybe, Humans are more evil than good, which is why we value 'good' over 'evil', because we all know how hard it is to be good.''

Elohiem nodded slowly, ''it is good that you are thinking about such things, keeping your mind occupied is of course essential, but perhaps one day you might write your thoughts down and share what you have contemplated with others.''

''I might'' Alexander replied ''but that thought in and of itself scares me. Maybe one day''

The Eldar smiled ''Maybe one day. But come, tell me what else you have been doing, I feel you are troubled by something. Would you like to talk about it?'' Elohiem already had a fairly good idea of what bothered the human, but he felt it best if Alexander told him on his own terms. The Farseer found it amusing that Humans still struggled with concepts that the Eldar had learnt to master long ago.

''I miss Aredhel, Farseer'' Alexander said as they finally stepped outside into the gardens ''I don't know why, but not seeing her for..months now, it has made me..sad.'' He surprised himself in mentioning his feelings about Aredhel to someone, but he felt better for it. Perhaps he really did need to talk about how he felt, more than he first realized.

''This would not be the first time a Human has been attracted to an Eldar'' The Farseer chuckled ''I doubt it will be the last.'' Alexander opened his mouth, prepared to protest ''Now don't deny it little one'' the Farseer cut in ''I see the threads of fate and time, do you not think I can see the longing in your heart? You have spoken to me of evil and good, perhaps it would be wise to admit to yourself how you feel?''

''I don't know how I feel. When last we spoke I was..very close, but to say anything of the sort would be rejected by the Eldar, would it not? I will not degrade her so.''

The Eldar male turned his head with a curious expression ''What an odd thing to say''

''How so, would the Eldar not have an issue with such a...union? for lack of better term'' Alexander replied, sitting on a bench not far off the path they had been walking on.

''Yes, but that is not the reason you do not say anything. You say nothing because you are afraid, you fear her wrath and her rejection.''

''It is hardly something I look forward too if that is what you are asking. Yes, I would hate to have to deal with that. But, at the same time, the issues it would cause...'' Alexander began, ready to go on another of his long and winding rants before Elohiem cut him off again, '' Are of little consequence. It should be her answer alone that matters.''

He paused, thinking of how strange his situation was. He shook his head ''It wouldn't work''

The Farseer smiled ''It would not, but even knowing that, does it really matter to you? Knowing something and feeling something seldom go hand in hand. It is interesting that you have said it would not work because you fear her response, yet little consideration has been given to our lifespans, biologies, social opinions, cultural differences.''

''Well you surely cannot expect me to think of everything'' Alexander replied, surprised that the Eldar would even entertain such a conversation. Elohiem gave a broad smile ''of course I don't, you are in love!'' he said with an almost teasing tone.

''I am hardly in love'' Alexander replied, shock coming through in his voice.

''No? This is simply the calling of your loins is it?'', said the Eldar, his smile growing a little wider

''Bah!'' Alexander said, throwing his hands in the air. ''A silly conversation anyway''

A quite laugh emerged from Elohiem, ''Humans get so worked up over such mild things. But I fear you may be correct. You are not in love, love is an intense feeling and you do not yet have the fire within you. Soon, perhaps.'' The smile now fell from the farseer's face, replaced by a frown, not unlike the face a parent might wear when given a lesson to a child ''Know this however, should you fall in love, pain will follow. It is not a path I wish to see you tread, but alas, I doubt I could stop you once you begin to walk it.''

Alexander glanced at his companion as they walked further down the winding pathway, the eldar looking back at him with a seriousness that was rarely seen by the doctor. ''I understand'' Alexander said.

''No'' came the reply ''but you will''. The conversation halted in this moment, only their footsteps breaking the sudden silence, but soon they were back to discussing other things and, after a time the pair came to rest under a tree. ''To be honest with you, young Alexander, I have been meaning to discuss something in particular with you.''

''Oh? Alexander said, the undertones of a serious conversation beginning to surface again.

''Yes..there are things about you that I do not understand. How you came to be here, why you are still alive, I have long since wondered why this is and I cannot come up with an answer.''

''Well you know the story already, Aredhel found me..''

''No no'' the Eldar said, cutting Alexander off with a sharp tone ''What I mean is..why did she find you? Why did she not kill you? It certainly would have been easier'' The Farseer's face was now twisted in irritation, irritation not directed at his Human companion but rather at a seemingly impossible riddle that was thrust upon him and his kin for reasons that had refused to reveal themselves.

''Well...I'm rather really glad she didn't.'' Came the unusually stoic response from Alexander, his face hardening back into his old navy personality. Hardened, unwavering and more than a little pissed off to hear he might be a pawn in some game that he did not understand nor wish to. ''I cannot help you my friend, I do not know why I am alive.'' He smirked, a bizarre thought crossing his mind in a flash.

''Why do you smile?'' Asked a now puzzled Eldar.

''Oh, I was just going say maybe you should ask the smiling daemon in my dreams. Seems that my own head is...''

''The what?'' Elohiem asked, looking intensely at Alexander, a mixture of confusion, interest and fear on the Eldar's face.

''My nightmares..they're memories but..not really, there's something else. Always intruding, something that smiles at me..fuckin spooky grin on it's face. Mentioning Aredhel, you..laughing as well. Always laughing.''

Elohiem was, for the briefest of moments, absolutely incensed ''And you decided to keep this information to yourself why?! What made you think it was not worth sharing?!''

''It's only in dreams'' Alexander said in a panicked tone, startled by the sudden change in his companions personality switch and terrified at the thought that he might be possessed somehow. Elohiem calmed himself, the 'who' of the puzzle now solved in one fell swoop but not the 'why'.

''Forces are moving in directions I cannot yet fathom..I must leave you Alexander..I have much to attend to'' he said, standing in one swift movement and leave just as fast, leaving a bewildered Alexander under the trees. Cegorach..the laughing god himself..this explains the 'shadow' he could not penetrate, the harlequins knowledge of him, his dreams and why Alexander was not yet dead. He needed to consult his runes and he needed to call the other Farseers together. He was so lost in thought and so set on his own coming plans he failed to acknowledge the smiling eldar walking in the opposite direction, back down the path towards Alexander.