CHAPTER 6-HER

"Sasuke is an excellent student." Crap. You know when your focus is in so many directions that you forget to bite your tongue? Yeah that's where I was finding myself during this meal. Sasuke's father had been going on about Itachi, Sasuke's older and apparently superior brother, and I guess I just couldn't suppress the words. They slipped out defiantly before I could catch them and cram them to the back of my mind where they belonged.

I stared straight into Mr. Uchiha's eyes and he met me back with an intense gaze. I could feel the other two sets of eyes in the room on me too, and I prayed I looked calmer than I felt. The pit of my stomach clenched nervously, I didn't want to start a conflict. After all it really had been so kind of Mrs. Uchiha to invite me to stay in the first place.

But I was just getting so angry keeping quiet while I heard every detail of Itachi's life. Did he design some cool stuff? How nice. Did he start interning his junior year? Good for him. Did I really care how he was charming one of the company managers today? No, I really didn't. But that's not why I was getting so frustrated.

What really ate at me was watching Sasuke's father's words hit him. Each sentence was punctuated with a physical show of Sasuke's pain. His posture had become ever slightly slumped and he kept doing this thing where he would clench his fists. He kept silent, just shrinking down, letting himself get stuffed into the corner while Itachi took center stage of a dinner he wasn't even present for. It was uncomfortable and infuriating. If I knew anything, it was the feeling of not having parental approval. No matter how often you faced it, it never got easier. It was a seed that once was planted, as it clearly had been in Sasuke many years before, was watered everyday thereafter in snide comments and disapproving looks.

When I first came home from the hospital at fourteen, I spent weeks under this constant pressure to do something, anything, right. It drove me wild with tension, talking about myself nonstop, broadcasting the things I thought I was doing that deserved praise. I clung to anything I could use to justify myself. Slowly, I became engulfed by this destructive jealousy of everything. Of people who got along with their parents, people who told stories of when they were kids, girls who looked put together every day. Anyone who I felt had the things that I didn't. But more than that I was actually consumed by this insecurity over the version of myself that Mebuki and Kizashi were always talking about. Someone who literally didn't exist, drove me towards madness.

Eventually I was able to accept that I was never going to be the daughter they wanted. I moved forward. But seeing a form of those emotions in Sasuke was driving me crazy. It brought back those feelings full force, and I wished that upon no one.

After yesterday especially, where Sasuke was inexplicably kind to me, I couldn't stand to listen to such an obvious display of favoritism. This boy next to me, shoulders rigid and stare downcast, was the same one who treated me like a dear friend not twenty-four hours ago. When I was losing to my former myself, he reminded me that others didn't see me that way. So now, while he's losing to his brother, I needed to return the favor. Part of me was craving to show him I could be on his team too.

Sasuke's dad had placed his silverware down, focusing all attention towards me, his mother was folding her napkin, keeping her fingers busy with the deep blue cloth. I noticed the contrast between it and her pale skin, I could feel that Sasuke had ceased breathing. My senses were becoming more alert with the anticipation of a fight. Mr. Uchiha sat up straighter. Should I straighten too? Would that be obvious?

I needed to justify my outburst, but I didn't know what to do, what to say. So I trudged on, "He's top of our class, as well as an amazing athlete and the vice president of our school's honor society. Have you ever mentioned that at the dinner table?" Was that too forward? Probably. The air was so thick with my defiance that I had to remind myself to breathe. Well, now that I've started, I better finish it. And with a hidden resolve, my body switched to challenge mode.

"Just what exactly do you think you're implying young lady?" The way he said young made my stare harden. Like I clearly knew nothing. And it set me off.

"I can't say it's much of an implication rather I'm simply telling you, based on the portraits in your family room, the conversation at your dinner table and your second's son constant desire for your attention, that your favoritism is overwhelming Sasuke's ability to prosper. And that I don't desire to speak only of one child that I don't find to be any more remarkable than the one you ignore right beside you." I spoke so fast that I wasn't sure anyone could understand me. I was bleeding attitude and I wanted my words to burn into him.

It was like fighting a battle after you dropped your weapon. I felt confused and frantic and just a little bit bloodthirsty.

I couldn't tell if this was even about Sasuke anymore. The blood rushed to his father's face so quickly I thought he might be choking. And all at once Mrs. Uchiha hurried to grab for him before he slammed his fist on the table. The thick wood shaking from the blow. I flinched back, and from the corner of my eye I could see Sasuke clenching his fists again. I noticed the habit every time I made him angry. It's what he did when he didn't have control.

It made me feel for him all over again. Sasuke was at least six feet tall, but slumped down, trying to put all this together, he almost seemed fragile. I pictured a younger version of himself, trying desperately gain the approval from the seething man in front of me and I wanted to cry.

Angry, unfair tears burned behind my eyes but I refocused on Mr. Uchiha. "You cannot come into my home and speak to me with such insolence!"

I pressed my palms into the table cloth to fiercely, my fingerprints were bound to be etched into it forever. "And why is that sir? Because like everything else you only allow for it to exist under your full control? Now I am sorry for being rude and I sorry for ruining your meal but I will not apologize for the things I have said. You're too controlling on your family's lives and eventually they will all turn away from you because of it." The way I turned away. "You spend so much time comparing your sons that you don't even realize how amazing the one in front of you actually is." I couldn't stop everything boiling out of me. All of my thoughts ran rampant and I imagined I looked absolutely wild. It's not fair. "He doesn't even consider the possibility of going to college or making a name for himself because you told him not to, and because his prized older brother didn't either." The more I spoke the louder I became. The entire staff would know who I was by the end of this. As each word forced itself into his ears, I pushed harder against the table to try and steady myself. With all the tension stiffening my muscles I finally just stood up. "Thank you for allowing me to spend time in your home, I meant it when I said it was beautiful, but I can't sit here and listen to you disregard all of Sasuke's achievements. He's a perfect son to you and he's showed me great kindness." And because I didn't know what else to do, I all but ran from the room. There was absolute animosity in my veins for no one in particular. It was the same feeling that I had when I first faced my old self.

Find your stuff. Get out. Find your stuff. Get out.

I kept repeating the thought, throwing all of my belongings into my bag and racing towards the door. If I didn't focus on something I would just keep replaying it all in my head. I had to leave. I saw Yuri standing by the entrance watching me. I ducked my head and tried to scurry by her as quickly as I could. She would probably hate me for this.

But as I slid past her the "about time" she let out was unmistakable. I turned back towards her, not knowing what she meant exactly. About time I left?

My eyes had glossed over with tears but I could still see her staring at me as she nodded ever so slightly. About time someone stood up to Mr. Uchiha? Or maybe it was about time someone defended Sasuke. Maybe it was both. But for whatever reason, her approval brought me back to reality. The pressure in my chest loosened and I could feel my breathing. I nodded back to her before making my way out of the Uchiha manor.

I started my car rather panicked and willed away thoughts of the awful scene as I drove. I tried to focus on the road or the street signs. I turned up the radio, rolled down the windows, but nothing could shake the images of Sasuke's dad, one of the most powerful men in the city, staring me down.

As I kept on straight, back towards my house, the sun was still setting, colors peeking through the foliage of my neighborhood. It brought on calmness again, and I could only see the image of Sasuke. So hurt and distressed as he just took everything that was happening. I clenched my steering wheel tighter, the way he had done with his fists. There was so much pain in that room.

I tried not to dwell on the things I said. Editing and reediting every moment. I tried to think about school, but that brought me back to Sasuke. I tried to think about soccer but that brought me back to Saturday night.

"Oh you did stick with soccer? I thought you were going to quit?"

That stupid guy from the restaurant popped back into my head. Who was that guy anyway? And what the hell was I thinking that I was going to stop playing? I love my sport. It's part of who I am. I could never just stop playing soccer. But clearly it wasn't part of who I was.

Comparing myself to old Sakura made me think of Sasuke and Itachi again and I just got annoyed all over again. Letting out a huff I pulled onto my street. I slowed down, not knowing if my parent's car would be in the driveway or not. More so not knowing if I wanted it to be. I hadn't seen either of them this morning but that wasn't exactly rare. They had busy schedules, and we kind of avoided each other.

Seeing the silver car parked in its normal spot I knew they were here. I parked on the street in front of my house and took a few deep breaths. Chances I would take all this anger out on Mebuki and Kizashi if I didn't get it under control? High.

Be happy. Just smile and be nice and it'll all work out.

Despite popular belief, it took a great deal of work to maintain a positive attitude. I had to consciously remind myself to seek silver linings. To forget the bad and cling to the good. I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my bag from the back seat. Taking extra time to secure it on my shoulders and pull out my keys. I looked up towards the house again. I've done this a lot in the last few years. Just stopped and observed things. I just waited sometimes, for something to stand out. How many times had old Sakura looked at this house? What did she see? Would it have been different if I had known I would lose simple memories such as this?

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that something as commonplace as the house I spent every day in could just vanish from memory. The grass could stand to be clipped again, the large tree off to the side was going to start losing leaves soon, but nothing about it stood out. No image of me scraping my knees or playing in a sprinkler. I didn't even really consider it my home. I felt so out of place here.

I walked up my lawn, letting myself in the front door. Mebuki and Kzashi were both sitting at the dining room table. I tried not to be offended they didn't even text me to ask if I'd be home for dinner. It mostly worked.

"Hello dear." Mebuki's glance in my direction is negligible at best, and her attention quickly shifts back to her husband. She often calls me 'dear' though it really isn't the term of endearment it's made out to be.

"Hello." I hoped the scratchiness that laces into someone voice after they've been crying had subsided, but even if it hadn't they made no show that they heard it.

It was Kzashi who spoke next, cutting his dinner into small pieces. Occupying himself with the back and forth motion so he didn't have to look at me. "How was your evening?"

I gulped down my shuddering and stilled my body as best I could. "It was fine. And yours?"

"Oh fine, just fine." He was bringing food to his mouth now, and staring intently at Mebuki. I wouldn't make them suffer any longer. They always were so uncomfortable in my presence.

"Well, I've got homework to finish." I turned toward the stairs and kept moving.

"That's nice dear." Mebuki added. She didn't ask me if I wanted dinner, didn't ask where I had been. They returned to enjoying my absence instantaneously.

I didn't exactly blame them. They lost their only daughter. It was a tragic thing to happen, and sometimes people just aren't strong enough to face tragedy. I still had a house and necessities. They would help me pay for college and sometimes Mebuki left me money when I wore the same few outfits too many times for her liking. I think they wanted to like me, but they were still mourning the loss of the child they had dreams for. They couldn't accept me, because I was a reminder of where their lives went wrong. By looking at me they saw months of pain and rage and regret.

My room seemed eerily still after everything. I dropped my bag by my desk and slid my feet across the wood. I tried to think of something to cheer myself up. I practiced juggling my soccer ball, balancing it on my foot before kicking it back up to myself, but I was distracted and I kept dropping the ball. Something that I knew Mebuki and Kzashi hated that I did in the house.

I pulled a book off my book shelf, one all about the interworking's of medical advances in neurology and another about amnesia. But I couldn't stay focused and I kept rereading the same lines. I stacked them back up and put them with all the others like them. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to try to understand what happened to me, and help others who are going through similar experiences. I loved all the research and sometimes when I read about other case studies I didn't feel quite so alone with what happened. But sometimes, on nights like tonight, they just made me feel worse. It would be easier sometimes if I hadn't forgotten. If I could run to my mother's arms and tell her what happened and cry. I bet she'd know how to cheer me up. I'm sure she remembers how she used to do it. I let out a long sigh and tried to shake the mental image.

Eventually I gave up on distracting myself and got ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, all the while wondering if old Sakura used to do the same thing. I tried to make those thoughts vanish. I like who I am. I'm proud of who I am. But I sighed as I pulled back my covers. In the morning, things will be good.

But lying in bed, I felt the emptiness of where Hinata had been the night before, rehashing every moment of our double date. I thought about how yesterday, I had become sort of infatuated with Sasuke Uchiha, and how today, I may have destroyed what resemblance of a friendship we had. Was all this even worth it? I had wanted to get close to him so I didn't have to always feel bad about old Sakura. I wanted to keep the tradition alive so my last year of high school wasn't so overwhelming before I went off to college. But after everything, it seemed like it was having the opposite effect. I sat up and pulled my red journal from my back pack and flipped it to the last entry about the date. I wrote the date at the top and summarized my day in one sentence.

'Nevermind, Sasuke hates me.'

But then I thought about how small Sasuke had looked in those moments at dinner and how I couldn't keep control of myself. For whatever reason, it seemed I was already too invested in him.

But that would change now. Why would he ever talk to me again? I had just made everything worse. I couldn't fix my home life, I have no idea why I took a shot at fixing his. I dropped the journal onto the ground and got laid back down. I pulled my pillow over my face and screamed. The muffled sounds reminded me of how empty my room felt again and I just wanted to cry all over again.

Emotional exhaustion started to seep in and the headache that came with it was too overwhelming to confront. I prayed for sleep.

When my five a.m. alarm went off I opened my eyes groggily. But once they were open I was awake. Exhausted, but awake. My eyes were puffy and my body was stiff and all the memories of yesterday came flooding back. I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of my bed and tried to think about something else before I was permanently trapped in them. I forgot to pack my bags the night before so I should really be rushing to get ready for practice, but I just stared into space for a few minutes. Everything felt dense around me, and the nerves of seeing Sasuke made me feel sick.

I slid to the floor and dug through my drawers for anything even remotely acceptable to wear to practice. The air was chilly so I slid on shorts and a long-sleeve. I tied my running shoes loosely and stuffed a clean uniform into my bag with all my other stuff. It would have to do for now. I couldn't bother to think about what I may have been forgetting and I was already running late because I couldn't make myself move any faster.

By the time I made it to the field I had just enough time to tighten my ponytail before we warmed up and ran suicides. After that practice was pretty easy. We did push-ups and planks, but then coach let us do relay races to boost our spirits. It didn't stop all my thoughts, but it helped to be with friends. Tenten and I showered quickly but when I was getting dressed I realized that not packing the night before was a serious mistake.

"Hey Tenten I'll catch you later, I forgot my tights."

"Oh man good luck, avoid Kureni, she can always tell." She was still brushing her hair out but I caught her eyes in the mirror.

"Thanks." I stuffed my cleats into my bag and took off.

Digging through my locker I kept thinking if I moved enough stuff out of the way eventually my backup pair would be there, even though I don't remember Ino ever giving them back after she borrowed them.

"Forehead why are you freaking out?" Thank god!

"Ino!" I whirled around so fast she actually took a step back. "Chances you have extra tights?" I gave her a hopeful look before she laughed and opened her locker.

"Hmm, will knee highs work?" she asked holding up her back up socks.

"Knew I could count on you!" I slipped off my shoes and reached for the socks just before she pulled them out of my grasp.

"Not so fast. Don't think I've forgotten about how you blew off my phone calls yesterday morning. Tell me about your date or no socks."

I rolled my eyes. "Ino, now's not the time, were gonna be late."

"If only someone had thought about that before…" she had that evil look in her eyes and I just wanted to wipe that dumb smirk off her face.

"Fine, you will get the full lowdown after I'm fully clothed." I said, raising my eyebrow and sticking out my hand.

"Perfect!" she practically squealed. I proceeded to slide my feet into her socks, leaning back against the lockers for balance. "And don't look now, but looks like it must have gone pretty well."

I looked up to see her eyes fixed on something down the hall. I glanced over and caught what she was talking about. Sasuke and Naruto had been down by their lockers, but now as the two were walking towards class Sasuke's eyes scanned up my body. His eyes took me in, when they flicked up to meet mine I was so confused my breath caught. This was a good sign right?

But before I could say anything to him he turned back to Naruto and chimed in to whatever the blonde had been babbling about. I tried not to stare after him but I had trouble brining my eyes back until Ino finally said something.

"So it looks like it didn't go quite as well as anticipated."

"Actually Ino," my gaze drifted back down the hallway but the boys turned the corner and were out of sight, "it did."

Her face scrunched up in confusion and I knew I wasn't going to find a way out of this one. "So then, what happened?"

"I well, I kind of blew up on his dad yesterday when we were having dinner and pretty much called him heartless."

I'll hand it to Ino here, she really took a moment before she started to freak out, "Doesn't his dad control like half the city?"

I bit my lip almost to look like I was thinking about it before I said, "uh yeah, yeah he does."

"So you mean to tell me you insulted one of the most important people you'll likely ever meet?"

"That appears to be the case."

Ino let out a long sigh before finally giving in to her natural state, "What the hell were you thinking forehead?"

"I wasn't! Not at first anyway! It kind of just happened! His dad was droning on and on about his brother and it was making Sasuke uncomfortable and then I started thinking about all my issues with my family and you should have seen him he just looked so hurt and vulnerable, can you believe Sasuke Uchiha could look vulnerable?" I knew I was babbling, but I didn't know how else to get this all out before I got upset again. "I just couldn't stop and then I ran out of the house and went home. It's gonna be so messy now Ino, we were finally hitting it off. We were actually getting along so well and now he's not even going to acknowledge me." The tears had started to come back but I took long slow breaths until they subsided. Ino took in my rant with understanding eyes and a sad smile.

Wrapping her arms around me she added, "So when did you start liking him?"

My eyes went wide and I wasn't sure what to say exactly. "I don't. I mean I thought I did, after our date, and a little the next day when we were at his house. It was all just so perfect and light hearted, but now, he probably won't ever talk to me again."

"That doesn't mean you don't still have a thing for him." She added.

"Ino I don't, maybe I was starting to because I was just so used to him being a jerk that when he was being nice it seemed like something more, but it wasn't. And it doesn't matter if he barely talks to me now." I pulled myself out of her grasp and leaned against the lockers.

"Who won't talk to you again?" Shikamaru asked walking up and throwing his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. Hinata joined us a few moments later asking to be filled in too.

Ino was the one who recapped for me. "Sakura got in a blow out with Sasuke's dad last night and then today him and Naruto just brushed by us without so much as a nod."

Hinata was the next one to speak, "Naruto didn't say anything to you? That seems rather unlike him."

"Well if someone had embarrassed any of you guys in front of your parents I sure wouldn't say 'hi' to them in the hallways." I practically grumbled out.

It was actually Shikamaru that made me feel the best though, "Don't worry. Naruto is as loyal as they come. He'll stand by Sasuke's side, but honestly he isn't a fan of his father either. He's probably just trying to keep Sasuke calm."

"Can Sasuke be anything but calm?" Ino asked. "In the last four years I don't think I've seen him frazzled even once."

With a sigh Shikamaru added, "The guy's still human."

"I think," a very quiet voice came out and we all turned to face Hinata, "that if anyone can fix it, it would be you Sakura." And she gave me a small smile that made me feel a bit better and just a little guilty.

"Alright enough about me, Ino I'm sure you're dying to hear about how fantastic Hinata's date was." Hinata's eyes widened at that.

Letting out a breath the blonde continued my thought. "Oh so glad you said that, Hinata I'm dying for details here, spill."

Hinata's eyes shifted a little towards Shikamaru in a show that she was uncomfortable with his presence. Something he immediately picked up on.

Shikamaru gave Ino's shoulders a small squeeze, kissed her temple and then through his hands up in a show before stuffing them back into his pockets, "This is all too troublesome for me anyway. Have your girl talk about my friends and leave me out of it." He stalked off to first period without us and we all giggled and followed behind him at a safe enough distance that Hinata could talk about Naruto in peace.

The three of us sat together and Hinata rehashed all of the events that evening. Her stutter came back particularly strong around the part where Naruto kissed her goodnight. I couldn't help myself, I turned to look at Sasuke. He continued to stare down at his phone. He hadn't looked at me once since I walked in and he made no move to talk to either of his friends in the room.

It made me wonder where I went wrong. Was it yelling at his father, or was it way before that when I agreed to go on a date with him in the first place? Maybe it was the first day of class, when I wanted to sit next to him and he said no. Maybe that was all the sign I should have needed to stay away from him. That we just weren't meant to ever be more than acquaintances.

The day passed slowly. As time went on I just felt more and more awkward letting Sasuke ignore me. Normally I would have demanding he talk to me, a couple weeks ago I did just that, but today, it wasn't right of me. He deserved time to feel however he felt about me for messing up an already fragile relationship. But that didn't make it easier to disregard his anger. We shared every class, and when our teachers were talking I always found myself thinking about Sasuke and how we were getting along. Sure, we had only really been friends for what, three weeks? But when it was just the two of us going crazy from reading too long or I was complaining about my hand cramping up, Sasuke's guard came down a little. We could joke about how bad he was at finding library books and the proud little smirk he got on his face when he was able to locate one before me. It wasn't common of course, but it was cool to see the side of him only Naruto had ever witnessed.

Some strange part of me missed how completely innocent he looked reading my private journal as if it didn't matter at all he was invading my privacy. Or how quick he was to wipe away my tears on Saturday. At lunch I barely ate before the bell rang for the second half of the day. Shikamaru and Ino both sat with me trying to cheer me up about the signs they were making for my tournament next week while I moved some peas around the tray. Hinata was sitting with Naruto while he talked her ear off, but Sasuke was nowhere to be found.

By last period, when I was sitting in front of the guys I was weirdly on edge about everything. I would keep trying to sit up straighter or look really enthralled by our lesson, as if either of those things would make Sasuke think 'wow, I didn't see Sakura there before but now that she's an inch taller in that chair maybe I'll talk to her after class and explain of course I'm not mad about what happened.' But feeding into my delusions was just getting to be too much.

When class ended Naruto caught up with Hinata and Shikamaru asked Ino to get ice cream before her cheer practice, even Tenten was going over class notes with Neji, but Sasuke had made a quick escape. I walked toward my locker without waiting for the others to catch up. I had been moping to them long enough. I just wanted to go home and sleep, math homework be damned.

When I did make my way home however I noticed I wasn't alone. My parents were both home from work early. The two were blissfully in the kitchen talking and they hadn't noticed my presence in the house yet.

I could tell from how freely they spoke to one another. It was Mebuki first, "Maybe we should go away for a week. See my mother. She really misses the family since they moved her into that home."

Kizashi added, "I think that would be a great idea, we could all go, catch up grab lunch, spend time with family. Sounds very relaxing."

The thought of going away was so enticing I practically ran to the kitchen. "That would be so much fun!" I added. It's the most excited I've been about anything all day. The thought of seeing my family. It had been so long since I had visited any of our cousins. Before the accident I think the family had been close but ever since we haven't done much travelling in the last few years, and when we did, Mebuki and Kizashi always went alone. But maybe they were so energized from their weekend with my aunt that they thought it would be a good idea.

Mebuki practically jumped at the sound of my voice and Kizashi's eyes widened when I entered the room. It was the former who spoke first, "Dear, I didn't realize you were here."

"Sorry to have scared you, but when are we going to see grandma?" I didn't really remember much about her but she had been really sweet the couple times we had met after the accident. The thought of seeing everyone again felt so promising.

The two exchanged looks and were trying to find the words to tell me something. Better yet, I think they were trying to decide if they should lie to me or not. Kizashi spoke next, "well you see we thought maybe it was best Mebuki and I go see her mother. She's just transitioned to a new home and maybe some friendly faces would help her adjust. But see, you don't really have a relationship with her anymore so it would be quite awkward for her and we don't want to add pressure to the visit." He said it all so matter of fact. Like of course I wouldn't go, all I could do is be added pressure.

"But you said all of us could go." I replied, but I had already put the pieces together. She meant the other parts of the family could go. Aunts and uncles and cousins, everyone. Just not me. They started to open their mouths to give me another series of bullshit but I beat them to it. "No, actually that's better, I have a soccer tournament the next weekend and it wouldn't make sense for me to miss that much practice."

It was Kizashi who added, "Great, glad that's settled. Probably best for everyone." He gave me a forced smile and under most circumstances I would have left it at that.

But today I was pissed. Today I was alone and upset and just plain hurt. So I did something I hadn't done in over a year. I turned back to face them, though both had mentally dismissed me from the room already, and said, "I can see that being away from me for the weekend really brightened you two up. So glad you had such a successful trip." And then I left the room, where I wished I hadn't caught their last words before I made it to the stairs.

Kizashi was comforting his wife, and through the door I heard a soft trace of the words, "She goes off to college soon enough…"

I tried to pretend the words didn't hurt, but the tears pricking my eyes said otherwise. I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back the sensation of crying. I sat in my bed and pulled out my phone.

Maybe if I could just get out of here.

But I knew that wasn't possible. Not without anywhere to go. Hinata's dad was insanely strict about guests on school nights, and Ino had late afternoon cheer practice. There was no way I saw spending the night at Shikamaru's, we had gotten close, but once he started dating my best friend there were boundaries I couldn't cross. I scrolled through more contacts and stopped on Sasuke's name. But there was no point. He clearly wouldn't answer.

Why would he? After today, any sort of relationship I thought we might have been developing was clearly fallacy. Something I was making up to feel good about myself. How real could any of it have been if after our pseudo date, when he talked to me like I was the most important person in the world, he completely snubbed me? Even if I thought he might kiss me that night, even if I think I would have let him, it didn't matter now.

I put my phone down and tried to brainlessly finish the homework I had, but nothing I wrote made any sense and the entire act was exhausting me. When I had finally had enough I just watched old movies on my laptop until finally going to bed.

The rest of the days continued to pass this way as the week went on. Tuesday had been less confusing, as I had at least known what to expect from Sasuke, and Wednesday and Thursday the rawness of it all faded a little. Mebuki and Kizashi had been packing their bags, and soccer was just nonstop give and go drills and three man weaves. Ino and Hinata were both seeing their partners and perspective love interests regularly, usually to get lunch after school and work on their projects. Most kids didn't accomplish as much as Sasuke and I did so most of the class was still obsessing over the criteria. Honestly I wouldn't have been this ahead of the game myself if it weren't for my pushy partner.

By Friday however, I was about finished with feeling guilty. I was isolated at home, my friends were wrapped up in other business, and I just didn't have time to waste part of my senior year moping around. I was going to get something out of the Uchiha today.

In first period he sat in his normal seat and our teacher got right into the latest section of our novel we had been reading. I wrote down the name of the book and doodled around the edges but I was too focused on coming up with a plan to participate in the discussion of plot and theme.

When class ended, I was up and to the door before Sasuke had even finished zipping his bag. I waited just outside out of his sight, and when he, Shikamaru and Neji walked out I came up beside him quickly. "Are you finished pretending I don't exist yet?"

He looked down to me but made no effort to answer me.

I tried again. "Look we're so close to being finished with the project that I'd like to just get it over with and not have to worry."

He didn't look at me the second time but he did respond with a quiet but firm, "It's finished."

Crap. I had to keep going until I could think of a better excuse. "Well I need to proof read the essay and we need to practice running through the slides. I won't turn anything in that I haven't thoroughly checked."

Sasuke looked like he wanted to roll his eyes but he refrained and simply told me he'd email them to me before picking up the pace with his long legs and pulling away from me. I let out a deep sigh to myself. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but did I have to pick the most stoic boy in the grade.

I sat through math taking semi decent notes and tried again when class was over. Sasuke seemed surprised by my second attempt at getting through to him but he barely faltered at dodging all of my reasons for him to speak to me. Barely, being the key word. See in the weeks of studying together and the couple sweet moments we shared, I realized that Sasuke Uchiha could be read. You just had to know what you were looking for.

His emotions were in the slight twitch of his jaw and the arch of his eyebrows. They were the direction he shifted his eyes to and when he clenched his fists. He was not the robot everyone thought him to be, and his exterior wasn't as hard as everyone thought it was.

Which meant I could break it down.

Two more periods went the same way. By the fourth time I followed him to class he was used to my antics and knew to keep his pace quick enough to get away from me. But I also knew he didn't enjoy looking like a fool trying to speed walk away from a girl, so he only started picking up the pace when he had confirmed sight of me.

I would have sat with him at lunch but he made sure to make himself scarce yet again. So after fifth period began my latest attempt at getting Sasuke to listen to me. I waited out of plain sight so he wasn't moving too quickly yet, and grabbed ahold of his backpack. This only seemed to make him angrier though as he moved faster than he had all day. I looked like an idiot just being wildly and haphazardly pulled down the hallway, but he hadn't gotten away from me yet so I was considering it a success. "Sasuke I am a varsity right forward for the soccer team, if you think I can't keep pace while holding on then you are seriously mistaken."

His annoyance at my presence was a given and I'm sure the extra weight on his bag wasn't helping either. He just powered through it, ignoring me, but luckily we had a long walk to the other side of the school and my stamina was just fine. I caught Shikamaru's eye and reading my mind he grabbed Neji and the two of them slowed down, letting me and Sasuke pull ahead of them. By the time Sasuke noticed we were alone it was too late.

"Sasuke really, we both know you're going to listen to me eventually, so just ease up already and let's start with the forgiving."

Finally he stopped and pulled into a side hallway, one that only had lockers and no classrooms. There were few people around so it seemed as private as we were going to get. "What do you need to tell me so badly? Our grade will be fine, do you have any other reason for harassing me?" There was a menace to his voice and it startled me into jumping back a little.

"I-I just" His stare was intense and I needed a breath before I could continue. "I don't know Sasuke, I just thought we were getting along really well and we were almost friends and I was just trying to stand up for you, I don't get why you're still mad at me."

"I didn't need to you stand up for me, I can handle my father on my own." His eyes were piercing and it almost looked like he was breathing a little heavier.

"Well it sure didn't look like it." I was struggling to keep my voice down in the small hallway.

"You don't know that world Sakura, and you don't know me. We're not friends, we never were. I tolerated you because we had a project to work on, now it's finished. So our time together is over." He was clenching his fists again which meant he was definitely upset. His knuckles started turning white from the pressure.

Tears were forming in my eyes from all the hurtful things he was saying. Did he really not think of me as anything more than someone to do homework with? But then I realized something. "You're lying."

"No Sakura, I'm not. We aren't friends. I don't have room for dramatics in my life. I have enough to focus on—"

"Stop lying. That night, our date, that Sasuke cared about me." It was barely a whisper but he heard me. More strongly I added, "Whether you want to admit it or not were definitely more than project partners and you know it. So just be honest for five minutes and tell me what I have to do to make this right. I won't apologize for what I said to your father Sasuke. He was wrong. I was only trying to be there for you. Maybe I could have been nicer about it but you Uchiha's make me so mad. I said everything I said because you're my friend, and friends defend each other."

"But I never asked to be your friend Sakura. Not once did I ever act like I wanted you in my life." He was doing that clench and unclench thing again. His eyes were shifting a little too much, he was scanning my face for a reaction. He was definitely lying.

"You wanted me in your life when you cornered me about that date."

"That was for Naruto." He snapped back.

"Then Naruto would have asked me. But he didn't. You did. You made it happen even though I had clearly been avoiding you. If you wanted an out from being in my life that was your chance." I was speaking so fast, scared that if I didn't get everything out he would never hear it,

By now the late bell had surly rang and we were bound to get in trouble, but I wasn't going to take a single step until we had finished this. "You don't get to decide who stays in your life Sakura, it's a two way street." Both of our breathing was heavy now and we both stared at each other, neither of us ready to move.

"Then tell me Sasuke, why did you care when I cried during that movie?" The words were sharp but full of emotion. "Why did you always make sure I had a safe ride home from the library?" His glare was softening and I continued on. "Why did you talk to me like someone who loved me?" and I knew we were both thinking about Saturday when I stated crying. "You said I was someone who showed you how to make the best out of a situation. That's not something you pick up from studying together for a few weeks. You care about me, and face it, you've never hated me."

Sasuke took a few deep breaths, trying desperately to find something to say. Finally he just started to rub his temples and I saw the tension leave his shoulders. "Fine, we're not just project partners ok? I was getting used to you being around. But that still doesn't make my family despise you any less. Which means it's best for everyone if we just don't talk to each other anymore."

I thought about what he said for a long while before I responded. "No."

He looked shocked again, well as shocked as Sasuke can look. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I mean no. You said it yourself, it's a two way street, you may think it's best to just avoid me but I don't."

"Sakura you don't understand who you just pissed off. My father can ruin anyone he pleases. It takes a few simple phone calls and he gets anything he wants. You want to be a doctor. You want to go to a good medical school and do great things. If we continue to make him angry, he'll make sure that doesn't happen. That's what businessmen do, they take anything they desire and brush off the people that get hurt in the process. They don't care."

"You do."

He looked confused, "What does that matter?"

"You care. You and your brother are going to be in his position one day, and you care about the people you hurt. Not all businessmen are bad."

"No, just all the ones I've ever interacted with. Because the nice ones, they get absorbed by companies like my father's." He was giving me that serious look again, but this time it was because he actually cared about me.

"Then let me handle your parents. And you just agree to stop avoiding me. Hang out with me today. Let me look over the last of the work you did." He looked like he was really battling a lot in his head over whether it was a good idea or not. So I tried one last time, I put my hand on his arm, right around his elbow and made sure he was looking at me. "I'll even make snacks."

At that I saw the hint of a smile on his face and the Sasuke Uchiha actually rolled his eyes at me before saying, "Fine, we can go to your place. But you better have tomatoes."

He started to turn away from me before I realized what he had just said, "Wait, tomatoes? Seriously?" and I had to catch back up to him.

On the walk to class I pulled out my phone and called our principal Tsunade. Students weren't exactly allowed to have teachers phone numbers unless there was a reason, but after my accident I had a lot of trouble adjusting back to high school. I often sought refuge from the first few particularly overwhelming weeks in her office. She let me arrange files and help out in order to get out of class and interacting with other people sometimes. She was far easier to get along with than my own parents. Which was something she happened to notice. She has had a soft spot for me ever since.

When I heard the soft sound of a phone being picked up I immediately went to suck up mode. "Tsunade, hey, it's Sakura."

"Yes Sakura, I'm aware." She sounded tired but amused as usual when she had to field phone calls from me.

"I was going to ask a small favor."

"Why do I have a feeling you're abusing my trust in you right now?" She asked me.

"Well, I was hoping you could call into Gai's class for me and explain that Sasuke Uchiha and I are going to be late but are on our way." I asked oh so politely.

"And why the hell would I do that Sakura?"

"Because I'm your favorite student and you got free manual labor out of me for like six months sophomore year. Please I really can't get detention." I threw in.

"Sakura it's one thing if you had a problem and you want me to help you, but whatever were you doing with that boy that is causing you to be late to class?"

"We were finishing up a project! I swear, nothing bad was happing, we just needed to work out a few minor details and were finished, but you know how bad it will look if we both walk into class late and I really don't need those rumors spreading." I tried to be sweet to Tsunade because deep down she really did care about me and she wanted the best for all of her students. She wasn't exactly a traditional educator. If you needed an extra day for a paper she didn't see the harm in it. If you had issues in your personal life, it wasn't wrong to take a day off every once in a while.

That's how I knew she was going to help me. "You swear to me young lady that you two were not sneaking off to do things I wouldn't be happy about? Because I can check the video footage Sakura." She could, but she wouldn't.

"We had to work out a disagreement in regards to a homework assignment. It won't happen again I promise. I have never asked you to be dishonest before."

She thought for a long time before agreeing to make sure we didn't get into trouble and telling me never to have her bail me and a boy out again.

I assumed I never would.

Sasuke, who I had almost forgot was watching the whole thing seemed rather entertained by the entire bargain. But when I went to explain to him he simply said, "I know you're close to the principal, I just didn't realize how close."

"We spent a lot of time together over the years. She used to always let me get out of class. She was only skeptical because you were involved."

He simply grunted "She likes Naruto too." and before we came upon Gai's door. Walking into class just the two of us definitely got us a lot of attention, but Gai was just hanging up the phone when we walked in.

"Wow, you two got here quickly, that was Principal Tsunade telling me you were on your way. Very impressive. Please have a seat." And he immediately went back to whatever figure he was labelling on the board.

Sasuke and I took the two closest open seats, one of which was being saved by Ino for me, and pulled out our notebooks. Ino immediately grabbed me by the arm under the desk and silently demanded to know what was going on.

In my notebook I scribbled,

'We finally figured things out.'

She seemed to accept that for now and since Ino was very aware of my relationship with our principal she asked no further questions. Replaying the conversation with Sasuke in my head however I realized something else I might need from Ino and scrawled out another message.

'I might need your help with something.'

She took one look at it and in her purple pen she wrote right under: 'Anything. But I want details later.'

I smiled to myself. Same old Ino.

When we finally finished classes for the day I was totally relieved to be surrounded by Ino and Hinata again. Naruto was walking Hinata to her locker so he walked with us too, and with him Sasuke wasn't far behind. Shikamaru was waiting Ino at her locker so very quickly our three became six. It seemed everyone was relieved to see the end of whatever was going on between Sasuke and me.

It was cool though, to see that we could be a group. That we could all get along so well and spend time together. It was strange to think that as natural as we all felt together that we had never managed to all hang out before now. When we got to our lockers however, Ino shooed away the boys so she could get complete details.

She turned to me first, "So let's hear it."

I smiled, because it was so Ino. "It's his parents. It's not that he hates me, it's that he's scared his dad is going to try and destroy my future if we continue to hang out after my less than ladylike outburst against him."

Ino's face dropped at the thought, "No way, can he do that?"

Hinata was the first to answer though, "Yeah, he could, she'd have to leave the country to be successful and even then it could be difficult. You don't have to control every company to have a hand in them."

Ino looked back to me, "But you have to admit, it's a little romantic. Do you think maybe he's into you? He's not really in the game of defying his parents, so he ignores you to protect you, and now he's seeing you despite them?"

"Well, I told him I was going to take care of his parents. Which is where you guys come in actually." I smiled brightly to my two best friends.

Ino smiled playfully and nudged me with her elbow, "Well you know we'll help you hide the bodies." Which is all she had to do to get a laugh from me.

Once all books were exchanged and the three of us were ready, we met up with the others at the doors and broke off into our pairs.

Sasuke and I walked to the parking lot to our respective cars. We agreed he was going to follow me home, so I pulled out and made sure to give him ample time to get in line behind me. I sang to the radio and couldn't wipe the smile off my face on the drive home. I couldn't believe how much easier things seemed with him talking to me again. With the weight of it off my shoulders everything seemed brighter. The leaves more vibrant, the air lighter, the sun warmer.

When we pulled up to my house Sasuke parked behind me on the street and met me at my car before I even finished grabbing my backpack. Being alone with him now felt oddly natural. It didn't feel forced now that he had admitted he liked having me around. It didn't seem like I was always trying to get him to talk to open up, now his silence could be welcomed. Walking up the front lawn however, I realized Sasuke had never seen the inside of my house. It was nothing compared to his entire estate, and I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Usually the downstairs was pretty clean, per Mebuki's request, but would it be better to just sit at the dining room table so we didn't disturb anything? Or maybe we should hang out in the kitchen. Kitchens are safe. They're casual and they have food in case things get quiet.

Once I unlocked the door I immediately made my way to the kitchen to get started. Sasuke followed behind me and watched me very intently with something akin to a questioning look on his face.

I answered his silent questions with, "I promised snacks remember?" I started pulling out crackers and cheese. I also pulled out tomatoes and tried to think of what we had you could put with tomatoes. I ended up making a less than elegant looking tray of bruschetta, but Sasuke seemed far more interested in the tomatoes themselves so I held one out to him.

He took it from my hand with a smirk. "Clearly not one for presentation."

I was so relieved to hear him cracking a joke that I laughed a little too hard. "Okay, let's just get set up in the dining room and I can proof read our paper and make sure everything is finished. Carry the snacks would you?"

After about an hour of reworking the sentence structure of the paper with Sasuke I thought it flowed strongly and created a descriptive enough background that the information was easy to understand. Sitting together made it easy for us to understand where the other was coming from and rewrite our points so everything was clear. The entire experience was going great. I scooted my chair closer to Sasuke to get a better look at the computer, and I realized working with Sasuke was far easier than it used to be. He smirked when I couldn't think of obvious words and I laughed every time he peeled apart my snacks so he could always just eat the tomato.

Once the paper was completed he switched over to the PowerPoint and I noticed true to his word, most of the loose ends I was worried about Sasuke had already skillfully taken care of. I was busy scrolling through a few slides when my parents must have walked in. I didn't hear them, but they made themselves known quickly. It wasn't until they were in the room faces contorted in anger that I realized something was wrong. "Mebuki, Kizashi, is everything ok?"

Mebuki's arms were crossed tightly over her chest before she answered "No, I'm afraid it isn't. We did not give you permission to have a boy over here. You live under our roof and you should be respect of that."

She couldn't be serious. But then Kizashi continued with, "If you want to entertain your boyfriend you can go be wild somewhere else. We don't condone such behavior in this house."

Did they just insinuate…? No way. "We're working on a class project not getting it on, on the kitchen table." I couldn't keep the horror out of my voice at their implication. Sasuke seemed completely collected but then again this probably wasn't the most hostile of situations he'd ever been in.

Kizashi continued, "We expect that you keep strangers away from this home and that you think about your morals because clearly they could use some questioning."

My mouth dropped, this was most likely the worst possible way this could have gone. "My morals are just fine thank you. Working on a class project is completely within my ethical code. Or would you prefer I failed?"

I had already started closing the computer and packing up Sasuke's belongings before they could get another awful accusation out. But Sasuke didn't seem so frantic. He rose slowly and looked at both of them directly before saying, "It's quite alright Sakura, the Uchiha manor is a much more suitable place for us to study anyway."

Before I could even begin to rave about what a terrible idea it would for me to see his parents a second time would be, Mebuki and Kizashi had processed the name. "Wait, as in Uchiha Incorporations? You're the heir to the company then?" my father almost stuttered out.

The mood of the room took a sudden turn and Sasuke simply said, "Yes, that would seem to be the case." He was looking down on Kizashi then and I took a moment to stop packing everything away. "And I would greatly appreciate it if you would be so kind as to not assume that I would come from a family that 'gets wild' when they have been invited into a home."

Mebuki tied to recover, "No, no of course you wouldn't, it's just Sakura is alone here so often and just very uncontrolled, we wouldn't want you to feel pressured or anythi— "

"How dare you?" I was so stunned that I couldn't control the words that came out of my mouth. "To pretend that I'm some promiscuous wild child in order to save face because you found out he's an Uchiha? What is wrong with you people?"

Sasuke was the one to answer, "Clearly Sakura, they know nothing about you." He spoke to me, but his eyes remained ferociously locked on my mother's. "Maybe it would be best if we take our leave."

I had so many things I wanted to say but I couldn't decide which sounded the least irrational, and before I knew it Sasuke had grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door. I let him pull me along, so stunned that I didn't protest when he led me to the front seat of his car and got in himself. I didn't even notice when he revved the engine and pulled away from my house. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't pick up on where we were going and found myself very confused staring at the large stone building of our high school.

"Sasuke, what are we doing here?" I looked around but most of the parking lot was empty, being that it was Friday evening and there weren't any home games this weekend.

He didn't say anything, just got out of the car and came around to open my door. I climbed out of the car quickly and followed him behind the building to where the fields were. He brought me over to the equipment shed and looked to me. As a captain of a varsity sport I had the code to the padlock that would open the doors, but this was not what I was expecting. We had been advised not to take advantage of the schools resources unless it was before a big game. They were worried recreational use would cause us to lose our already limited supplies.

"Sasuke, we're not supposed to take out equipment unless it's for training." I looked down at my outfit, "Besides, I'm still in my skirt and I'm not really up for it right now."

Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned against the big metal doors. "I brought you here because it looks like you need to kick something." He said with a shrug.

I had never seen Sasuke Uchiha shrug before. It was an odd gesture on someone usually so serious. Shrugs were care free, they were light and go with the flow. They were nothing like Sasuke. Which showed me he must be trying really hard here.

Sighing, I sauntered over to the lock and put in the code. Sasuke pried open the rusty doors and the two of us found a bag of soccer balls discarded off to the side. He took the liberty of lugging it onto the field and dumping the contents out in front of the goal. He lined them up perfectly, never taking his eyes away from the task at hand.

I watched him curiously. After all, it wasn't every day you could get someone to go from not talking to you, to helping you let out your frustrations over getting called a whore.

If Ino had been there she would have taken me shopping or for ice cream. Hinata would have insisted upon a movie to take my mind off of things. Even Shikamaru would have put an arm around me and told me not to let things bother me. But this, going to the school at dusk to kick soccer balls, was definitely different.

Sasuke finished what he was doing, laying each ball a couple feet apart, before he turned to me. "Well," he gestured to all the balls laying out, "do your worst."

He was looking right at me, and his dark eyes were reflecting the setting sun behind me and for a moment I thought I could see something in them. I smirked a little to him, then returned my attention to the real task at hand here. Kicking off my shoes and setting myself up behind the left most soccer ball, I took two big steps and swung my leg. This was something I could do. This was practiced, this was engrained in my muscle, and this was something no one could take away from me. Not Mebuki and Kizashi, not the daunting thought of medical school, not even the Sakura I had once been. She gave me this body to do with it as I please, and it was with her that this all began. So I watched the first ball sail away from me so energized I didn't even wait to see where it went before moving to the next one.