This is going to be a collection of short funny stories set in the Fate series and involve anyone I can think of. Inspired by Infinite Paths. Enjoy.

I am a Fucktard of Justice

Kariya Matou groaned as he felt the pull of his Servant on his mana. At least he got that right. Zouken won't be able to complain about 'what a failure' he is anymore. But the smoke cleared, causing his heart to sink.

This was not Lancelot of the Lake, as they had planned. In fact, this individual seemed more at home in the modern times than old Britain. He was a tall, pale man with spiky red hair that looked made completely of hair-gel. He wore a long black coat with a large zipper down the front, and tightened at the arms to an amazing extent. His most defining appearance, aside from his hair, was two small tear tattoos underneath his eyes. He gazed around the room before finally staring at Kariya.

"Sup." He said. "Name's Berserker. Guessing you're my 'Master'." The silence was broken by Zouken's laughter.

"Well now, Kariya." He said. "It seems you're so incompetent that you can't even summon the right spirit. Still, I imagine he will be…" Anything else he was going to say was interrupted by Berserker surrounding him with fire from two chakrams. Zouken's screams echoed while more of his bugs swarmed to save their master. Berserker merely sneered, before lighting them all on fire too. Sadly, the walls and the ceiling started burning too. Kariya ran, leaving his Servant cackling as the place fell around him. He dodged more fire and falling rubble, screaming for Sakura. He found her lying in her room, completely still as smoke filled the air. Coughing, he grabbed her, and jumped out the window to safety. He panted clean air as he lay on the grass below, listening as the old wooden house fell apart in fire. Dimly, he could hear his brother and nephew screaming in the fire, suddenly cut off as something sliced the roof off. Berserker jumped out, with not even a scratch on him. They just sat there, watching the place burn.

"So." Berserker finally said after roasting the house a couple more times. "Who's up for hookers?"

Kariya wished he never summoned the damn thing.

(*/*\*)

Uryuu Ryuunosuke laughed as he followed his newest friend to find an orphanage. This was so cool! Sure, the guy was a bit weird, (Who names themselves Caster?) but he was so much fun to be around. He showed Ryuunosuke so many new ways to kill people, what with demons, and magic, and he was pretty sure Caster crushed some kid's head with one hand. Maybe he should find that 'Joan' girl he likes so much and help them get together. It'd be the best way to repay him. Nah, he'd probably end up killing her. Then Caster might get mad, and stop showing him his cool tricks. He was so busy thinking he didn't notice Caster had stopped until he ran into the guy. As he rubbed his nose, wondering what happened, he finally saw the big deal.

The Orphanage was on fire. Several kids were lying around in pieces, while a dude with big red hair cackled in front of the doorway.

"Burn orphans, burn!" He yelled, fiery circles spinning in his hands. Beside him was a sick guy holding onto a girl.

"Wh-wh-why would you do that?!" He yelled at his friend, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Today's Wednesday. I always kill orphans on Wednesday." Red's friend didn't seem to understand it, but Ryuunosuke got it clearly. The dude was just like him. He loved killing people. Granted, burning the orphanage wasn't all that creative, but points for effort. He could never make a fire that big by himself. He'd need a crew. Or gasoline. Or a bomb.

"Yo, dude. That is awesome!" He yelled as he stepped from behind Caster. "I mean, that is some good art right there!"

"Glad someone appreciates my work. Name's Berserker."

"Right. I'm Uryuu Ryuunosuke, this is my friend Caster, and our hobby is to kill lots of people. Wanna join?"

"That depends." Berserker narrowed his eyes at them. "What's your wish, creepy?"

"My wish has been granted." Caster replied. "My beloved Jeanne has been brought back to life. Ah, but if only that cursed God hadn't taken her memory from her. But perhaps my magic will free her from her curse." Berserker nodded a few times in understanding, before using his circle-thingy to slice off the other dude's hand. He screamed, dropping his girl as he clutched his bleeding stump. He never noticed Berserker impale him on one of the circle's spikes.

"Cool. I just want to kill things. And you know, technically, this girl is an orphan now, seeing as how I killed her dad." The girl trembled as she crawled away from them.

"Cool. Hey, do you mind if I watch you in action? I really want to see what cool demon-things you can do."

Berserker gave an evil grin, before moving so that Ryuunosuke had a good view of the girl. His circles spun like crazy, fire billowing from them.

By the time he was done, there wasn't enough left of her to fill a glass.

(*/*\*)

The Grail War had been postponed due to two Servants going on a rampage. Every team was offered a Command Seal if they could stop them and their masters. It seemed that he already hit the Matou Family's home. Right now, everyone was scouring the city for the monsters.

They weren't that hard to find.

"I'M SO HIGH!" Berserker yelled as stood on the hood of a stolen car. "DROWN THE PRIEST! I AM THE WORLD'S DEADLIEST HOOD ORNAMENT!" He set a nearby store on fire. "PIDGIONS CRAP ON ME AT YOUR OWN DEMISE!"

The car exploded for some reason, throwing the lot of them in different directions. Ryuunosuke groaned while Caster prepared to summon his monsters. Berserker was whooping as his high finally wore off, though no one actually noticed the difference. They looked down the street to see a young lady wearing silver armour over a blue dress. Berserker heard Caster call out for Jeanne. Whelp, if his bitch was going to attack them, it wasn't his fault if she died.

"Foul monsters." She growled. "Your terror ends here. DIE!" She was soon intercepted by Caster's demons, but they died too quickly for Berserker's liking. Time for a song.

"Oh, I'll be burning all the demons when she comes," He sang, his chakrams burning everything in sight. "Oh, I'll be burning all the demons when she comes. Oh, I'll be burning all the demons, I'll be burning all the demons, Oh, I'll be burning all the demons when she comes."

"Cool." Ryuunosuke shouted out as he watched. "But Berserker. I've got a question. What the hell is Reverse Nirvana?" He was interrupted as a building just exploded for no reason. As the girl dodged again, another building exploded.

"It means I'm now an evil Buddhist with psychic bullets." Berserker explained. It turned out to be very useful when a dude with two spears showed up, along with some guy on a chariot. It was when a golden guy showed up and fired swords that things started getting dicey. One of those sword blasts killed Caster, sending his corpse through a window where it hit a music player. No one knew why it was working, or how a burnt corpse didn't just break the damn thing. But it suddenly started playing music. If Ryuunosuke listen carefully, he could swear it was 'One-Winged Angel'.

"Oh, yeah." Berserker chuckled. "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, NOW YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" His chakrams went into overdrive, and all the other servants stared in horror as a wave of fire rushed at them from all sides.

And so Axel Rose, highest rated serial killer of his realm, burned Fuyuki City to the ground, before going off to find a world-killing whale.

Most people would know Axel from the hit game Kingdom Hearts. This Axel though, is from the hilarious completed web comic Ansem Retort, where everyone is bat-shit crazy, and forced to be on reality TV. Just like real life, only with less burning bodies and maiming your allies. His hobbies are killing the innocent, burning the city, and taking civilians hostage with his friend Zexion while reading a list of demands to the Governer and his director of Cabinet: Zexion and Axel.

Class: Berserker

Name: Axel Rose

Series: (Kingdom Hearts) Ansem Retort

Master: (Kariya Matou) Uryuu Ryuunosuke

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Parameters

Strength: B (A)

Endurance: C (B)

Agility: B (A)

Magical Power: A (EX)

Good Luck: A

Noble Phantasm: A

Class Skills:

Mad Enhancement (A)

Mad Enhancement raises basic parameters in exchange of hindering mental capacities. In some cases, also seals away Personal Skills. At A level there is a rank up for parameters, but most of one's reason is robbed. Due to undergoing consciousness equalization with the Master, one has become a more mechanical Servant.

Personal Skills:

Eternal Arms Mastership (A+)

Eternal Arms Mastership prevents degradation of fighting skills when under the effect of mental hindrance. At this level mastership of combat arts has reached the point of being said to be unrivalled in one's era. By complete merging of mind, body and technique, it is possible to make use of full fighting skills even when under the influence of any sort of mental hindrance.

Mental Pollution (C)

Mental Pollution makes it highly possible to shut out any mental interference Thaumaturgy, due possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of mental pollution. At this rank it provides a probability that mental interference magecraft will be rendered ineffective. In the condition that the Servant's master is of Evil alignment, and perpetrates acts of cruelty against the Servant, Mental Pollution will increase in rank, further increasing defences against magecraft.

Noble Phantasms:

I am So High

Axel simulates the time Zexion gave him a massive load of unknown drugs. This activates his Mad Enhancement, but makes it almost impossible to differentiate between targets. He is as likely to attack an enemy Servant as he is to attack a building or thin air. Keep well away from him.

Reverse Nirvana (Anti-Unit)

When this is activated, Axel becomes an Evil Buddhist that fires mind bullets. Such an attack is a one-hit-kill for anything with either below B ranked Magic Resistance or Endurance. Cannot be active at the same time as I am So High.

Merry Christmas to All (Anti-Army)

This is the ultimate form of his Mad Enhancement. It is activated by Axel hearing One-Winged Angel, and raises his stats by one rank. Unfortunately, it also causes him to go on a rampage and destroy friend and foe alike. Do not activate for any reason.