So, yeah. I guess I'm back. I had been… Feeling depressed lately, and apparently I'm bipolar. I haven't told anyone about this, I guess it's because I don't want to hurt them. My family is going through a rough patch, and even if they knew, we would not be able to afford therapy or medicine, so I've been faring by myself… I just decided to pour my heart out on this fic... So, without further ado, enjoy!

Warning: Character death, self-harm, depression, not for the weak of mind.

Hey, Akashi-kun, how are you?

I miss you.

I love you.

I miss you, please, come back…

I can't live without you…

You are my light…

So, please, come back…

It was funny how he thought of the same man each day, each passing moment. It was stupid, a lost cause. That man would never come back; after all, Kuroko was just a mere tool to him. Akashi used him, and Kuroko was a fool to get wrapped up in his made-up love life; because he was the only one who lived those sweet moments…

Blood ran down his wrists in crimson streams, and Kuroko stared at them with an empty gaze, marveling at the contrast of the bright red against his pale skin. It reminded him of Akashi, and so he forced more of the life liquid out of his body, slashing violently at his scarred skin with his razor when the trickle of red stopped. He did not stop until he could not comprehend his own situation, until he could not remember his own name, but Kuroko liked it that way; it distracted him from the ache in his chest.

He had lost track of time after he had realized the truth, all he knew was pain. Everything he saw reminded him of Akashi, Kuroko hated it. It hurts constantly, and it just began to build on him; the sense of betrayal, the feeling of being broken as he walked amongst the crowd. Even when surrounded by so many people, he felt alone and cold. There was no flash of red anywhere, no golden glint in the crowd. There was no Akashi.

Akashi-kun… I knew from the start, you never loved me, did you?

But even when I knew, I still followed you, because I loved you. I was willing to be a mere tool, a weapon to be used by you forever…

So why did you have to throw me away?

You knew… that if you pretended to love me, it would have been enough. A kiss here, and smile there, was it really that hard? Am I not even worth that much?

Akashi-kun…

Another red line appeared on the porcelain skin, scarlet liquid beaded on the cut and gathered together, finally streaming down bleeding flesh after a while. Kuroko watched with fascination, admiring the way the red pooled on his skin.

I love you.

I swore that I would dedicate my whole life to you…

But you don't need me anymore…

So I guess I will go on early, and wait for you on the other side…

Swallowing a handful of pills, Kuroko gave one last wistful smile, and let his head drop beneath the surface of the water in the bath, giving in to the darkness.

Thank you for everything that you ever gave me, and for the emotions that you sparked in my heart. I saw so much with you, and I regret nothing.

I love you, Akashi-kun.

Goodbye.