Life's Menu isn't mine. Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to Akira Amano. Though it is fun playing around with her characters when I'm meant to be 1) updating other stories and 2) studying for exams.

To those waiting upon my other stories: sorry to you, I will update soon when I get my muse back for them. There are so many plot bunnies going around in my head that I need to release them in other stories but I will update. I'm usually trying to figure out what to do next in the stories.

Description: Bakery AU. If Tsuna never knew about the mafia and ten years later he currently owns a cafe/bakery in Namimori, everyone has gone along with their life that they were heading in mangaverse until Reborn shows up, and of course that's where the trouble starts. Where Reborn is there is trouble following and Tsuna doesn't want trouble. F/M M/M R27 a bit All27

Genres: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Humor, Supernatural, Romance, Crime, Drama, General

Rated: T so far!

Warning: May trigger some people in this chapter due to the bullying themes, boarder line anxiety, and suicide themes. Pretty dark on the first chapter OTLL.

Damn line breaks. Also the italics mean that Tsuna is speaking in English, butchered English.

Chapter 1: Lliffe

If a person had asked Tsunayoshi Sawada (Tsuna) when he started baking he probably would have had told that person it was somewhere around the time he realised that he was never going to get good grades and he gained unfortunate infatuations with people who actually talked to him; so around high school.

He learnt how to bake because there were exams coming up and he still needed to hand up that assignment from a couple of weeks ago, oh but he didn't actually want to do any of that stuff so he started to bake.

He was a procrastorbaker, at least that was the proper term for him (not that he actually knew it since he was too busy baking to actually look up the word).

However he was getting off track.

Currently he, a single twenty-four year old male who never got a girlfriend because of reasons (these reasons included not being popular enough, being too shy, and being No Good Tsuna), was talking to a mirror.

It was a regular rectangle mirror with no significance whatsoever apart from Tsuna was talking to it.

It was also placed in the back of the cakery (that is a cafe and bakery for a person who couldn't decide what they actually wanted to serve for food and drinks much like Tsuna) that Tsuna and his mama, Nana, owned.

It was a hole in the wall type of cakery, all warm and inviting with its cream, yellow and brown colour scheme, and much like all good hole in the wall types it had a specialised menu that changed with the season.

Though why he still called his mother 'mama' was because she liked the title calling it cute while simultaneously being scary enough to intimidate him into calling her that.

It was also the same reason that when he tried calling her any other name she would give him a smile that made him have nightmares for days. He just gave up after a while.

But Tsuna digresses.

"Wel-welcome!" said, more like stuttered, Tsuna to the mirror while trying to smile and making his face just look awkward like he didn't want to be there.

Tsuna made a noise of pain and seemed to collapse into himself. It was no use trying to smile on command. He just wasn't the type to do so.

He looked up to glare weakly at his reflection and started to pull at his hair and pinching his cheeks.

"Urgh. Should I blame my mama's side for my face or..."

It was somewhat degrading for him to know that he looked more like his mama than he would like, actually if his mama was male he'd be the spitting image of her.

"I thought guys were meant to take after their fathers,"

Yes, it was a source of eternal distress to Tsuna that he didn't look so much of a guy as just a male version of his mama, big eyes and baby fat included (the baby fat on his mama only made her look younger than her actual age of forty-four, how she still managed to have baby fat was a mystery to everyone).

"Hahi! Tsuna! Are you in?" yelled out a voice from the front of the cakery.

Tsuna shot straight up and quickly made his way out to the front.

This was what he practiced for; customers.

He could hear some light arguments going on at the front between the two females, how he knew it was between two females was because they were bi-monthly regular customers.

Tsuna turned the corner and spotted them.

Kyoko Sasagawa and Haru Miura, his bi-monthly regulars and also his previous infatuations.

"We-welcome to L-liffe!" stuttered Tsuna, just because they were regulars didn't mean they were any less scary than the first time they came to his cakery especially since back then he was infatuated with them, which made it more awkward for him.

Life was the cakery he and his mama built using the money his no good father gave them on a monthly basis to actually do something they both liked. His mama liked the name so much and Tsuna couldn't help stutter over the name since he failed English class but still tried because his mama like the English word so much.

It was a downhill battle that he lost constantly, in fact any argument with his mama or any part of him disagreeing with his mama was a downhill battle that he always lost.

Power of the mama was too strong.

"Hahi! You don't have to keep greeting us like that! We've been regulars for a while, afterall," said Haru. Haru was for one word to describe her...energetic.

Very energetic.

She was a seamstress that made cosplay outfits (not otaku outfits, never call them otaku outfits if one valued their life) that were not so popular but she made up for it by making outfits for plays and B-rated movies.

"I have to agree with Haru, you're too formal with us" said Kyoko. If one was to describe Kyoko it would be polite.

Kyoko was polite and kind and was also the school idol in middle school and high school, she was also the reason he kept coming to school (both in middle and high school) to see her. It was quite creepy now that he thought back on it. But thanks to her he realised how easily he could be infatuated with a person and also how fast he went over them (a couple of months to a couple, try three, years).

Kyoko had just finished her training to be a policewoman, Tsuna was a bit worried about her (not in a infatuated way but in a little bit of a kind and decent human being way).

"C-congratulations on making a pol-police woman" said Tsuna looking at the menus he collected to show the two women to their table.

"Tsuna should look us in the eye when Tsuna says things, we're friends right?" said Haru. Tsuna dropped his menus and quickly picked them up trying to hide his face.

Friends...they were friends? He was friends with females? All the other women would just mock him or tell him they were just using him when he ask if they were friends. What if they did the same thing? They weren't the type to do so but still...

Tsuna swallowed a whimper that wanted to come out. They weren't the type to trick him and later mock him but the fear was still there as much as he wanted to get rid of that fear.

He was much better speaking with guys.

"Hahi! Is Tsuna blushing?"

"N-n-no, I - just - may-may Itakeyourdrinkorders?" said Tsuna while shaking, it was too much pressure on him. He wanted to leave but he didn't want to be rude. He couldn't leave. It was starting to get a little dizzy, he couldn't get enough air. There wasn't enough air!

"It's okay Sawada, just take large breaths for now. Haru, don't tease Sawada so much, don't you see you're scaring him into hyperventilating?" said Kyoko, at least Tsuna was pretty sure it was Kyoko as there wasn't anyone else who called him Sawada while in his cakery and rubbing his back.

"Haru's sorry! Haru didn't mean to make you - Haru's so sorry!" said Haru as she started to look for something, Tsuna couldn't tell what.

"Deep breaths, take a breath when I count, okay?" said Kyoko from next to him, if he was still in middle school he'd probably be overjoyed and dead right now.

One, b-breath in.

Two, hold the breath.

Three, release the breath.

Haru joined in the breathing session to help him or at least try. The breathing session went on for a few minutes before Tsuna was fully calmed down.

"S-sorry," said Tsuna looking down, he made his customers worry about him; he was meant to be the one who worried for them.

"Haru is sorry! Haru didn't mean to make you hyperventilate. Haru just wanted to tease you a little, for, you know, for all the times you've always been so distant to us so Haru just wanted to make it feel like we're actually friends. Haru didn't mean it,"

"I-it's fine, I know Miura didn't mean it. I just - I'm not too good with t-talking with women,"

"You always talk fine with us," pointed out Kyoko.

"T-that's because you're customers, I ha-have to be polite to the customers,"

"We don't mind if you talk in a less formal way with us, right Haru?"

"Haru wouldn't mind if Tsuna is less formal with us! Haru wants to be Tsuna's friend, Tsuna is nice to Haru and Kyoko,"

"T-thank you,"

"Hahi! Tsuna should sit down with us, there are no other customer's right?"

"Yeah, Tsuna should sit down with us, that way he will get better at talking with females,"

"B-but I need to take the drink and food orders!"

"So after Tsuna takes the orders Tsuna can sit down with us,"

Haru and Kyoko dragged Tsuna along with them to sit down at their window table.

"W-what would you like to have?" Tsuna was forced into the chair in between the two women, if only this happened a year ago he would have had died a happy man but currently was he wishing the ground would eat him up.

"Hahi! Did Tsuna add to the menu again?" Haru was looking at the (updated) menu.

Tsuna blushed. It was a bad habit of his to update the menus when his mama wasn't looking especially for this season where the main theme was chilli.

There was just so many uses for chilli in baking and he couldn't let those recipes just go to waste like that since it would probably be a while before he did another chilli season range and, oh those recipes just looked so good.

"Did you take something drinks out of menu as well?" Kyoko was staring intently (glaring) at her menu as if it would give all of its secrets up from her intense staring (intense glaring).

"Y-yes, those drinks like the Cold Chilli Coffee Milk weren't a big hit at all so I got rid of them. M-Miyu was especially sad to see them go,"

"Miyu...the espresso machine, right?"

Tsuna nodded. He had another bad habit of naming the machines, the machine parts, cups, mugs, and plates. They were like the children he never had and were mostly well behaved!

B-but he wasn't crazy! He swears he's not crazy!

"Hmmm, Haru wants the Chilli Hot Chocolate and surprise Haru!"

"Chilli Chai Latte for me and you make good judgements on what to eat so I'll leave it in your hands,"

Junichi was practically vibrating when the glass got to Kyoko while Hisoka was more reserved than that when the mug got to Haru. However Junichi was a pervert in the way that teenage boys were perverts so of course he was happy to be near Kyoko and Hisoka acted like a noble woman.

...

Tsuna still swears he's not crazy and that his glasses and mugs really were like that. His mama even says that Junichi was a pervert as well. He wasn't the only one!

The drinks had small traces of chilli powder in them to create the spiciness of the hot chocolate and chai latte.

Tsuna practically ran to get the food to serve them from the kitchen, he was rather excited to see what they would think of his new creation that he made just that morning while thinking of how to use up ingredients from his kitchen at the house he lived in since childhood.

(Was it bad that he still lived with his mother?)

The food that Tsuna served the two women looked like small rectangle dark chocolate, the inside had a biscuit base and white mushy stuff with small bits of chilli in them -not chilli flakes or chilli powder but actual red chilli pieces - with the dark chocolate covering it all.

Mami and Tetsu were trying to get the, the creation that he made off of them. They didn't seem to like the new dish. This got Tsuna worried they, of all the plates he had, usually liked his new creations.

Still not crazy.

Tsuna waited to see what Haru and Kyoko would think of his new creation.

Haru and Kyoko took a slice of the sweet on their plates...

What he gave them was Baked Sweetened -

...and prompt both women spat it back out.

- Tofu with Chilli.

"Hahi! Tsuna! Are you trying to kill us?"

"Is this tofu?" said Kyoko with wide eyes.

"N-no! Er y-yes! I-I mean I did-didn't want to kill you, I-I ju-just wanted to test out one of my new creations!"

"With tofu?" said Kyoko still trying to get rid of the taste on her tongue.

"Wel-well, we had spare tofu at home an-and I wanted to see if I could turn it into a sweet. I got the idea last night and just made it this morning,"

"Hahi! So we were your taste testers?" Tsuna nodded. Maybe sweetened tofu wasn't such a great idea for baking with.

"I'm sorry, Sawada, but this isn't...such a great sweet,"

"Why didn't Mama stop Tsuna?" asked Haru. His mama seemed to get everyone to call her Mama through various means. Sometimes he thinks that she even got Hibari to call her mama but he wasn't too sure and rather not ask Hibari or his mama that, least he gets bitten to death or gets nightmares.

"Ma-Mama bro-broke her wrist a week ago while on the stairs. Sh-she says that she was still sleepy when it happened so she landed on her wrist. I took her to the hospital and everything so she's currently at home since she must not use her wrist at all for six months,"

Kyoko covered her mouth in shock while Haru was looking sadly at her...dessert.

"Poor Mama," said Kyoko while Haru nodded in agreement.

"I'll get you a new dessert, Vanilla Cupcakes with Chilli Cream and the Creamy Caramel Chilli Tart, to say sorry"

"The desserts aren't more testers are they?" asked Haru. Tsuna shook his head.

"Y-Yamamoto had the Chocolate Chilli Tart last week and h-he said that it was good,"

"Yamamoto? As in Yamamoto who tried to commit suicide during middle school and broke his arm?"

"Hahi! Someone tried to commit suicide during Kyoko's middle school years?"

"Sawada was also at Namimori Middle School," Tsuna jumped on the spot. Kyoko remembered that he went to middle school with her.

"H-how - Y-you remembered that I went to Namimori Middle as well?" Kyoko's face softened, he didn't realise when her face became so stiff. During middle school her face was so open, you could probably see Amaterasu shine through her.

"Yes...I'm sorry I didn't stop them" She looked rather saddened. It wasn't her fault really, she was too far away from him to see anything the bullies did.

"I-it's fine, there was nothing you could do,"

"But I should have, I should have had been able to change something for you back then," said Kyoko rather angrily. It warmed a small part of Tsuna to see her angry on his behalf but...

"Th-there was nothing yo-you could have done, nothing. If yo-you had helped it probably made it worse,"

Haru was looking at the both of them as if it was a Tennis match, her short hair bobbing along with the shaking.

"Hahi! Haru wants to know what happened during Tsuna and Kyoko's middle school years!"

"I'll tell you later, Haru," offered Kyoko.

It was amazing to see the energetic woman and relaxed woman together, it almost seem that they were polar opposites but it wasn't quite that. They weren't opposites at all but close friends, Kyoko didn't need to be as energetic as Haru because Haru made up for it and Haru didn't need to be calm because she knew Kyoko would be their voice of reason.

Friendship was amazing like that mused Tsuna.

"Is Yamamoto okay? I heard that he went through a tough time in high school because all of his old teammates were bitter that he couldn't play ever again,"

"Ye-yeah, he's doing fine. He comes around ev-every week or so. He says he likes it here,"

"That's a relief, he was so upset when he learned that he couldn't play again. I-it was so scary when he jumped. I - I thought that he died but I did nothing to stop him, I didn't...he was in a different friendship circle from me and I wasn't able to really speak to him,"

"He-he's doing okay now, he's not entirely happy, he can't play baseball anymore, but he's more...content. I should...I should go get those desserts,"

Desserts and tea. Those make the world go around. He should make a batch of tea. Tea would help.

Tsuna ran to the kitchen to collect the desserts. Tsuna cursed quietly, he forgot Mami and Tetsu. No matter.

His hands were shaking (since when were they shaking?), and he was panting softly (one, breath in. Two, hold the breath. Three, release the breath).

That topic was just no good for him.

He could have had been Yamamoto; he could have had at one point jumped. During a dark time for him before he discovered baking and after Kyoko got a boyfriend he considered it.

What use would it be for No Good Tsuna to still be alive? Why make his mama live in shame for her useless son?

He wasn't good at anything back then but now, now he had baking. He was good for something.

He could make people smile and moan from delight with his baking, he could turn the coldest of people into one of his customers, he could help people just a bit.

Yeah, Life, it was his lifeline. His life's work into this cakery. His way of sharing a life with others that needed it. He was pretty sure that his mama knew about this and why she supported it so much.

He might not be able to say the name of his life but he was able to share it around and let others taste his life's work. However some people avoided his small cakery because he owned it, that was fine, he'd just wait until they got so curious about his shop that they came in and when they did he would be ready to smile at them and welcome them to his Life.

Tsuna took a deep breath as he prepared the Vanilla Cupcake with Chilli Cream and Creamy Caramel Chilli Tart.

The Vanilla Cupcake with Chilli Cream was on Aimi, Aimi loved cupcakes, it was a small cupcake with reddish colouring on the cream where the chilli powder sat while the Creamy Caramel Chilli Tart was on Rina, Rina was always happier with a heavier load.

The Creamy Caramel Chilli Tart was a new recipe that he created a few weeks ago, the base was a crumbling pasty base with chilli flakes within it to create the spiciness while the creaminess of the caramel stopped the chilli of becoming too spicy while lessening the sweetness of the caramel. It was an odd combination but delicious one.

Tsuna smiled when he felt Rina, Rina was warm to his touch, which should have had been impossible considering Rina had been in a cupboard with the other plates.

"Thank you but may you be a little cooler? You're going to ruin the temperature of the tart," whispered Tsuna, he was still conscious that Haru and Kyoko were just out at the front and could see him preparing their food though the plating area.

The two women might have had known about his penchant for naming his machinery, glasses, mugs, and plates but it was entirely different to know that someone talks to them as well.

The plate then went a bit cooler but still faintly warm. Tsuna smiled, there really was no reasoning with his plates unlike his glass set.

He really wasn't crazy, see?

He walked to the table with both plates on one arm while the women looked excited to see the desserts and sat down with them to watch them eat it.

Okay so that was a little creepy of him but he wanted to watch them eat his creations; to see that they actually liked it and weren't just being polite and yeah, that was a useless fear right there but he actually had to see that they actually liked it.

To see them eat.

To see them chat away while in his little cakery.

To see be happy.

Yeah, this is what his Life was all about, and you know what?

He was pretty happy with it.

So Amaterasu is the Japanese Sun Goddess who could radiate sunlight from herself, she also hid herself away from the world because her brother teased her so much.

A cakery (as described by me) is a cafe cross bakery where Tsuna can't decide if he actually wants a cafe or a bakery so put both together.

Miyu is the espresso machine.

Junichi is a glass.

Hisoka is a mug.

Mami, Tetsu, Aimi and Rina are plates. (Tetsu is apparently a female name, you learn something everyday.)

Some of the food designs I created such as the Chilli Tarts, I have never made such a thing so I don't actually know if it would taste nice but I imagine it would however I don't think Baked Sweetened Tofu with Chilli would be nice ever.

Seriously don't make that stuff. You're better off not eating some of the things I've created in my imagination.

I also kind of imagine Nana as a force of nature who could intimidate anyone with her smile and passive aggressive manner that Tsuna learnt and that even though Haru and Kyoko have been visiting Life for at least a year Tsuna still has trouble talking with them as he doesn't have female friends before.