Hi! I'm still working on my other stories but I had this oneshot idea and had to record it!

All my oneshots are really short, I just realized. Oh well, there are shorter stories out there, right?

And I assure you, I don't hate Ino but I'm bringing her boss-zilla side out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, duh.

First was Naruto.

At the start of their spar, it was normal with a few Rasengans and Chidoris here and there.

Until Naruto started using his best friend's shirt as a tissue to absorb his tears.

"What the hell, dobe?" Sasuke shoved Naruto off him with the Uchiha Glare.

"Hinata-chan *hic* doesn't want *hic* ramen! I don't get *hic* why!" Naruto cried, literally.

Sasuke facepalmed. "Seriously, dobe? Who wants to eat ramen with you?"

"HINATA-CHAAAA *hic* AAAAAAAN!" Naruto sobbed some more and Sasuke decided to leave before the blonde flooded the training grounds.

Second was Ino.

It was rather weird, weirder than normal around her. Sasuke never went near the flower shop but she was crying outside Shikamaru's apartment when he was going to the lazy genius's house to deliver a mission report for him to review. As soon as he saw her, he turned on his heel and prepared to walk away.

Until:

"SAAASUKE!"

'Damn,' he thought and mentally groaned.

"SHIKA-KUN ISN'T AT HOME! YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS, DON'T YA?! TELL MEEEEEEEEE!"

In less than a second, the crying Yamanaka turned into a raging, obnoxious harpy. Sasuke almost thought she was worse than Karin...almost.

"DID TEMARI COME FROM SUNA?! SHE DID! I KNOW SHE DID! WHERE'S THAT FUCKING SHE-DEVIL! I'M GONNA RIP HER TO SHREDS!" Ino shrieked.

Sasuke was about to use the Amaterasu on her until a certain somebody showed up.

"What are you doing, troublesome woman?"

The Uchiha nearly became deaf when she screamed, "SHIKA-KUN!"

A new respect for the lazy genius developed faster than Naruto could run to his ramen.

Third was Gaara.

By now, Sasuke was creeped out. Anyone who knew Gaara would be to see him like this.

"And OMG, Matsuri totally gave me the look! And Kankuro was soooo jelly! He never gets asked out!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. Gaara didn't look any different than usual but his voice...it was worse than Karin and Ino combined.

"What's up with you and Sakura, hm? I totally think you two are complicated! Naruto said you two were going out but I saw her status on LeafBook. Augh! Why do you have to be so complicated?!"

"Why do you sound so girly?" Sasuke retaliated.

"Augh! You're just jelly of my awesomeness!"

Gaara didn't cry, but he really pissed Sasuke off.

Fourth was Lee...and Gai.

"LOOK AT THIS CATASTROPHE!" Both Lee and Gai hollered.

Sasuke backed away but the two Bruce Lee copies came closer.

"THEY'RE WRINKLED!"

They shoved all their green spandex at the Uchiha and Sasuke somehow managed to dodge all of them.

"OH GAI-SENSEI! WHAT DO WE DOOOOOO?!" Lee cried.

"WE SHALL MOURN TOGETHER! THE LOSS OF MANY SHALL NOT WEAKEN OUR YOUTH!" Gai shouted triumphantly back.

"YOU ARE SO INSPIRATIONAL, GAI-SENSEI!"

"YOU ARE SO FAITHFUL, LEE!"

Cue for Sasuke to run like hell.

Sasuke retreated to his former teammate's office in the hospital. Sakura seemed to understand, although she was having trouble not laughing.

It wasn't every day the Uchiha Sasuke came to you complaining about...well, complaining in general.

"I swear everyone's out to get me! Especially those green weirdos! I almost got hit with those hideous green things!"

Sakura let him rant on for a little while longer before she put a hand up to shut his mouth.

"Sasuke, don't take this to heart. I'll try to fix things," Sakura said.

He sighed and pulled her to him. "You know what would help me?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

Sasuke slanted his mouth over hers with that confident Uchiha smirk of his.

To end this story, let's say that Sakura's office was not so innocent anymore and no one bothered Uchiha Sasuke again.

I know, I know. It's kinda stupid but I thought it was a pretty funny idea. I'll update my other stories soon, give me a little more time. And I'm continuing Olympics for DreamHollow57 but I haven't started yet.

Please, please, please, please, please x 8472837498275827582347 R&R!