Pixie Dust Covered Pinecones

MKYSThrall prompted on AO3: "Drunk dial from Regina to Emma after she ends things with Robin. Go!"

[Assumes Emma hasn't brought Marian back from the Enchanted Forest –I also figured that Regina would be the kind of drunk that still kept her composure but just lost her filter. Enjoy!]

BzzzBzzzBzzz

The phone vibrated against the nightstand as the screen lit up in the darkened room, flashing with the name REGINA MILLS. Emma reached over with a sleepy limb, grabbed the phone, pressed it to her ear and slurred, "ugh…Rgnna? Itsslike a quarter aftr one…"

There was silence on the other side of the phone, "Regina?"

Another beat passed before she heard a response.

"Did you know I absolutely loathe pinecones?"

Emma blinked a few times then tilted her head at the question, "Uh…no?"

"They're completely useless, they're covered in sap, they smell bad, and they prance around the forest pretending like they own the place. Why? Just because they steal from the rich and give to the poor?"

Emma sat up in her bed and furrowed her brow, "Something tells me this isn't about pinecones…"

"And everyone told me that I should really like pinecones; that I have to like pinecones. Well you know what I said to them, Miss Swan?"

Emma let out an exasperated sigh, "What did you say?"

"I told them, they can take their pixie dust covered pinecones and shove them up in the forest where they belong."

Emma chuckled under her breath as she slowly began to put on a pair of jeans and a shirt. She could hear the clinking glasses and faint murmurs of a bar over the phone. Regina was definitely drunk, and in no condition to walk or drive home. She headed down the stairs and picked up her keys, silently exiting so she wouldn't wake the rest of the house. Once Emma was outside the door she started down the apartment staircase with the phone still pressed to her ear.

"Well, I thought you really liked pinecones a few weeks ago?"

"I liked the idea of pinecones. That is of course before I found them to be insufferable, needy and everywhere I went."

"Is that so?"

Emma grinned and began to walk towards the only bar in town open this late. She would've taken her Bug over to pick up the Mayor, but it was at the shop getting a new transmission put in. The blonde figured a brisk walk wouldn't be too bad, and it would definitely help Regina burn off some of that alcohol.

She heard Regina took a gulp of her drink, "Yes. I am a Queen, I don't need to be hounded everywhere by some overly attached prophetic circumstance."

"Well then, as a Queen, what do you need?" She asked while she waited for the 'walk' signal at an intersection.

"I'm not sure? Right at this moment I believe I need another drink."

The signal flashed as Emma continued on, "Hmmm, sounds like a good plan, Your Majesty. What, pray tell, is her highness drinking?"

She heard ice clinking in a glass and then a gulp, "I believe I am drinking some barely passable Canadian whiskey. Or whatever they call whiskey in Canada."

Emma chuckled, "Is there anything in particular that's on your mind?"

"I left the tree-hugging archer today."

She rolled her eyes and spoke sarcastically, "Oh? I thought this was about your hatred for pinecones."

"Save your words, princess, I just felt that he isn't exactly what I wanted."

Rounding the corner Emma reached the bar and walked inside. She stayed on the phone and scanned the room, her eyes landing on a certain brunette at the bar. Walking over to the figure, she continued into the phone,

"Well then, what do you want?"

"Well obviously I don't want a sorry excuse of a thief with honour" She saw her take another swig of her whiskey, "As Queen I should have a Knight…but not with honour…a Knight with…reproach."

Emma saw a smile cross the Mayor's lips as she sat down beside her, pressing the lock button on her phone to end the call. She turned to face the older woman, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder,

"Well, I don't think I can find a Knight at this hour, but I definitely have reproach for days…"

"Emma I don't recall asking you to come here, if you think you can take advantage me of in the state you are mistaken…" Regina swayed slightly before regaining her balance on the bar chair.

Emma held up her hands in defence, "I wouldn't dream of it, Madam Mayor. I'm just here to make sure you get home safe."

"I am perfectly capable to get myself home, I don't need your help." She flicked her wrist and a tiny puff of purple smoke fizzled from her fingertips. Regina looked down and her hand and sighed knowing that in her state she wasn't able to gather enough will to use magic.

Emma shook her head in amusement as she watched the comical puff of smoke dissipate in the air. The bartender walked over to the two women and placed a set of keys on the bar, "Those are the keys to her car, Sheriff, I had to take them earlier when she tried to drive home."

The blonde gave him a nod and he walked away. "You tried to drive home drunk? I thought you had better judgement than that."

"Don't talk to me about good judgement, you were about to get hitched to a monkey!" She staggered to her feet tried to straighten her posture.

Helping her keep her balance Emma retorted, "At least I didn't need some enchanted cocaine to find a man in tights."

They hobbled together towards the exit, "At least I wasn't committing bestiality whenever we had sex!"

Emma's face fell for a moment, she knit her eyebrows together and let out a long sigh. The walked in silence for a few moments before the women reached the Mercedes. Emma opened the passenger side door and helped the Mayor settle into the seat. She rounded the front of the car, got in the driver's seat and drove towards the mansion without another word.

Unlocking the front door, the blonde helped Regina kick off her heels and up the stairs, keeping a protective hand behind her back to prevent her from falling over. When they reached her bedroom, Emma helped her into bed, placing a glass of water on her nightstand and two doses of ibuprofen. She turned to leave the room when she heard a quiet voice behind her.

"I was always thinking about you."

Emma turned around and looked at her quizzically. Noticing the heartache on her face she walked back over to her and sat down on the side of the bed.

"When I was with Robin tonight, it just didn't felt real. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it was I knew it wasn't…" Regina looked up and brown eyes met green, "that's when I realized I couldn't be in love with him…because I was already in love with you."

Before she knew what was happening Emma felt a pair of lips on her own.

AN: feel free to leave a prompt on my tumblr! (Christiane-j)