(pre) Authors Note: There is not much I can say with this chapter. I profusely apologize for the length of time it took me to write it, for it nearly tore apart my soul. Seriously. This writers block thing is killing me. Okay, I guess I will let you read on and suffer through another chapter. But seriously why do you guys keep coming back?

"I mean, just leave on your uh— you know—bra and underwear. You are the one who did say 'it's nothing you haven't seen before. And we're both women.' You are cold tired and obviously want to take some sort of a shower to clean your self up. You deserve to be in this bath just as much as I do, if not more." Jane picked her head up off her knees and tried to sound convincing. Maura was starting to consider it, she was grinning at Jane, and Jane knew she was thinking about it.

"I think all that wine has gone to your head, Jane," she laughed and started to get up pushing her wine glass to the side along with the bottle. Jane's heart sank, and even more heat painted her face in the embarrassment. "I'm going to make some breakfast, what would you like," her voice rushed from behind the door.

"Nothing, thank you though." The door closed. Maura would usually be on Jane's case about eating a good breakfast, but she needed to remove herself from the situation before she would say what she really wanted to say.

Jane's stomach dropped. How could she face Maura now, after she asked her to take her clothes off and get into a bath with her? What made her think it was okay to ask her friend to do that? Why couldn't she filter these things? Then she remembered the way Maura smiled at her that morning, how Maura knew exactly what she needed without having to ask. She remembered the way Maura looked at her, looked into her like she has know her her whole life.

Minutes passed before she was yanked from her self plummeting thoughts, the door slid open and Jane waited for a question.

"Are you covered?" Maura hesitated nervously

"No."

"Can you cover yourself?" It was soft and low but Jane heard.

"Uh—yeah." Jane, still confused, grabbed the wash cloth beside her and laid it across her chest, praying that the thin film of remaining bubbles would do the trick for below. "Okay, I'm covered."

Maura stepped past the threshold of the door, softly closing it behind her. Jane's eyes scanned Maura's body and stopped to gaze into her eyes, not knowing what to say. Maura stood in all of her beauty, black lace graced her body, hugging her hips in form of panties, and holding and wrapping her ribs and chest in form of a bra. Her arms wrapped desperately around her stomach to keep herself warm.

"Does your offer still stand?" Maura asked dropping her head to the floor.

"Yes." Jane smiled warmly at Maura "come here" she gestured with her hand. Maura smiled back and walked towards the orange glow of Jane. "Wait. I—uh— are you uncomfortable with me not wearing anything—you know—" Jane's hand waved across the water.

"It doesn't bother me. But if you are uncomfor—"

"I'm fine. Just no happy hands" Jane quickly added with an awkward laugh. Maura followed with an out of place giggle.

"Okay, how do you want to—" Maura said pointing to the water. Jane took a second to think then threw her arm across her chest to hold the wash cloth in place, scooted all the way back and crossed her legs. She offered one hand out to Maura to help her in.

"Sit facing away from me." Maura nodded and stepped in holding Janes warm hand. She lowered herself into the water pulling her knees to her chest, laying her head atop them. A deep long moan bubbled in the back of her throat; a sound Jane has never heard from Maura; a sound that made her stomach churn.

Jane watched as the woman reached to find her wine glass, clutch it against her body and curled up into a tight ball. Maura, someone who was always chipper hardly had enough energy to hold her eyes open. Maura who always had her hair photo shoot ready, now had messy tangled hair thrown up in a bun. Maura who was the cleanest most amazing smelling woman still smelt of yesterdays work and day old perfume. Jane hated that Maura was like this because of her, because Maura was with her instead of coming home to her practiced and perfected routine. But there was a beauty and honesty in Maura's mess that made Jane smile.

Even as a mess mess Maura was beautiful and looking at her was torture. Jane new that her skin would be satin, something she would want so dearly to run the tips of her fingers over until they nearly went numb. And knowing she couldn't but sitting there watching was absolute, pure, torture. She knew asking Maura to join her, and her actually doing so was pushing enough boundaries. She thought for a second, and took one last look at Maura's near unconscious form. What the hell, why not push one more boundary?

"Maura can I touch your back?" Jane spoke in a calm voice but Maura could tell that she had been gathering up the courage ask it for some time.

"Yes," Maura responded simply very near falling asleep but still managed a grin anyway.
Maura's back was soon met with warm wet hands. They started at her shoulder blades and shakily hesitated for a second before slowly sliding down her skin. Jane was determined to map out Maura's skin; to have all her bumps and curves so memorized she could remember it to the point she could almost feel it again. Her fingertips did just that, tracing her curves, searching for any bumps and imperfections.

Jane then reached beside herself to grab the body wash, feeling it was okay to at this point, and squirted a well portioned glob into her hand. Feeling how cold it was she let it warm before touching Maura's back with it. After it was warmed to her liking she pressed an embracing hand to Maura's neck taking her by surprise and she gasped. Not by that she had soap on her hands and was about to wash her but by the fact that Jane had placed her hand where Maura least expected it. Janes' nimble fingers pressed small circles creating a thick and fragrant lather. Now she understood where the sweet smell came from that always followed Maura around. She bit her smile back, but soon failed.

Smiling to herself she moved her hands from Maura's neck, over her shoulder, down her arms, across her hands, between her fingers. Then continuing on to press into Maura's upper back, tickle down her spine, caress the small of her back. All the while ignoring the straps of the bra that she knew were uncomfortably constraining her body.
Maura's still chilled body shivered.

Before she even asked, before she even let herself think about it, Jane uncrossed her legs, and straddled Maura, then grabbed her hips and pulled Maura flush against her own body. The towel was gone, Maura felt everything. Everything. She gasped in surprise and gripped her wine tighter to keep from spilling, but the second she hit the detective's body she melted. Still, she shivered. Again.

Jane reached up to pull the hair tie out of Maura's hair and brush the tame waves to one side. Her arms wrapped around Maura's waist, make sure to run across every inch of skin she could touch. Jane sprawled her hands over Maura's stomach to cover as much skin as possible trying to keep her warm. Jane leaned against the back pulling Maura with her.

Time now had a new measurement; the soft strokes of Jane's thumb across Maura's stomach.

After placing her wine glass safely on the floor Maura dried her hand off on the towel there and fidgeted with something Jane couldn't see from the crease of Maura's neck. Maura finally picked it up and held it in front of herself, consequently in front of Jane's line of sight. All Jane needed was one glance.

"Maura" she breathlessly whispered in sympathetic question against the back of her ear, and Maura shivered.

A packet full of papers and signatures, signing away months of your job.

"Why, Maura?"

"I've decided I wanted to take time to myself. Never once in my life have I taken time off of work for any reason." she gulped "I don't want to work my life away." She paused as almost to think "Maybe I can remodel my home or learn a new language. Maybe I can take a trip to Cozumel or just stay at my beach house. Maybe I could help a friend through a hard time. Maybe I could learn how to paint. Maybe I could fall in love."

"How long?" Jane felt a hint of sadness and anger but tried to hide it with a monotone.
Maura wasn't sure how Jane would react to her answer and was afraid it wasn't going to be good.

"6 months" she replied honestly. When she realized Jane wasn't going to speak and admit it herself she spoke. "I know you took a 6 month leap if absence too. Ours is active on the same day; Monday, and we go back the same day in June." She paused. "When Lieutenant Cavanaugh approached me with the question as to why you had requested a leap of absence, I knew exactly why, there was only one possible reason. That's when I requested mine. He was more than happy to grant mine. That was also why I was at your apartment last night. I just didn't realize how severe it was; how you got. You scared me."
Jane tightened her arms around Maura's waist and buried her head a bit deeper into her neck.

"I'm sorry Maura, I'm sorry you had to see that, I'm sorry I scared you. But you can not take time off of work for me. Especially that amount of time. You will go nuts if you aren't cutting open dead bodies."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended at that comment, but I can assume it was meant it good spirit so I will take it that way." She paused and sighed. "You know it makes me very sad that you don't realize how much you mean to me. And you don't need to be sorry, I just want you to get better, I don't want you to feel like that ever again. I don't want you to look like that ever again, with that much fear and, helplessness almost, in your eyes. I want to be there for you every step of the way. But I need to know that you are willing to get help and accept it. Are you? Because I love you way too much too see you like that. To see you hurting."

She felt warm drops hit her chest and knew they weren't water.

"Yes," she replied almost painfully holding back more tears. "But I can't do it by myself, I'm not strong enough right now. I need help. I need your help. I need you, Maura."

Maura grabbed one of the hands that were holding her tight around the waist and brought it up to her mouth. She nudged Jane's fingers out of the way with her nose and quickly pressed her lips to the palm.

"Every step of the way," Maura's lips brushed her palm.

Jane shuttered with more tears as the breath she had been holding escaped her lungs. A trail of long slow kisses made their way to the tips of Jane's fingers, and the arm around Maura's waist became tighter pulling her impossibly closer.

Jane's eyes were once again stinging and tired she nuzzled deeper into Maura's neck and placed a gentle sucking kiss at the pulse point. Then another. And another. And another. And another. And another.

(post) Authors Note: **evil laughter**

(post)(post) Authors Note: Okay, so I really want to hear from you guys. I need some new ideas. What parts did you like/what parts didn't you like? What could I have done to make it better? ...your kind words also help me write. So if you really did like it could you sneak one of those in there.

(post)(post)(post) Authors Note: I need to thank Amanda. I can't say much more about her that has not already been said. Your a life saver. But I'd also like to thank a new person; Marjorie. You made this chapter possible.