Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental multi-fandom project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 25 June.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Reptilla28's challenge... with a twist of lemon, wrapped around a gold brick, so to speak...

Disclaimer: "Harry Potter" and all related characters and situations are the creation and property of J.K. Rowling, used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

-o0O0o-

"Three Plus Two"

By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

"Death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days." - Third Technician Dave Lister, "Red Dwarf", Series One, Episode One; 'The End'.

-o0O0o-

Daphne Greengrass was led into an office and looked around to see that in addition to the bespectacled man sitting behind the desk, two other girls she recognised from Hogwarts were also there.

"This here's the last one, sir," the uniformed man who has escorted her to the office announced.

"Thank you, Todd, just leave her," the man behind the desk said coldly without looking up from his work.

"As you say, sir," Todd clicked his heels before spinning on one and marching out the door.

Daphne was confused, "Um..."

"Quiet!" the man behind the desk snapped, "I'm in no mood to hear excuses from anyone today. Great Maker, is it that be-damned hard for one person to fulfill their destiny? Really? I'm going to get fired, it's all that Potter boy's fault... His Guardian Angel's already been given the boot! And I'm next! I've already been up for review, now that he's died again, they're going to ask me to clean out my desk and leave my Departmental I.D. with security on the way out, it's a given. No one's ever died this many times without fulfilling their destiny... and you three haven't helped matters any!"

The man picked up a file from the stack sitting on the corner of his desk and tossed it at Daphne, "First year; beaten to death by a troll; eaten by a Cerebus; fell from a broom; eaten by a Cerebus again; another troll; poisoned by a blasted logic puzzle; killed by Voldemort."

The next file tossed hit one of the other girls - Su Li, a dark haired Ravenclaw born in British Hong Kong - in the chest, "Second year; killed by a Basilisk stare on Halloween; killed by a rogue bludger; bitten by a poisonous snake at Dueling Club...

Almost as if heralded by the snake comment, there was particular venom in his voice when he continued, "Lynched by the students of Hogwarts for being a Parselmouth... Killed by a returned Tom Riddle after being delayed in arriving to the Chamber of Secret; killed by Basilisk poison; oh, yes, and let's not forget the 'Death of Personality' that happened thanks to that idiot imitation educator, even if he was still physically alive, he wasn't Harry Potter anymore, so he couldn't fulfill his destiny."

"Third year," The last of the three girls in the room - Susan Bones, Hufflepuff niece of DMLE head Amelia Bones - was ready to catch the file when it was thrown at her, "Soul devoured by Dementors on the Hogwarts Express; struck by lightning during a stupid quidditch game; killed by Peter Pettigrew after being used as a hostage against Sirius Black; beaten to death by the Whomping Willow; died pushing Black out of the way of Severus Snape's Sectumsempra; killed by out-of-control werewolf; soul devoured by Dementors - again..."

Fourth year's file went to Su Li, "Died jumping from the stands at the Quidditch World Cup thanks to Veela allure; killed by Death Eaters at the World Cup; killed by Karkaroff after his name came out of the Goblet of Fire; killed by dragons, not once, but twice; died from overdose of 'Notice-Me' potions keyed to Ginny Weasley - not counting times he did from other causes because of those damn potions distracting him..."

"Wait, the Weaslette?" Daphne spoke up, "Then why was he chasing Chang that year and fifth?"

"Let's see," the man rolled his eyes, holding up a hand to fore-stall Su Li's comment, "The potions were supposed to attract him to someone who had nothing in common with him but Quidditch and the fact that she looks like his mum; even if he doesn't know what real love is mentally, in his heart he still loves his soulmate, some Granger girl, because of her loyalty and intelligence; he fights the potion, but it still has an effect... and you ask why he was chasing after a girl with enough intelligence to be in Ravenclaw, enough loyalty to have a Hufflepuff for a boyfriend and whom he had nothing in common with but Quidditch? Getting pulled one way by his heart and soul and another by potions, you can't figure out why he ended up going for the middle ground? Are you that damn stupid? And you, Miss Li, experienced a different life of Harry Potter than Miss Greengrass did is why he was with you and not 'chasing Chang' as Miss Greengrass put it."

He sighed, "In your life, despite the fact that you escorted him to the Yule Ball - because certain charms were used on his soulmate so that she'd never think to offer herself as his escort - he still cared for her and the indecision he faced under the Black Lake caused him to delay and drown when his gillyweed ran out... In his next life, the one Miss Greengrass and Miss Bones remember, he survived the Black Lake only to die multiple times in the Third Task and in the Little Hangleton graveyard during Riddle's return."

Another file ended up in the redhead's hands, "Fifth year, Miss Bones, should be familiar to you; he died over the summer when his soul was devoured by Dementors; died after being possessed by one of Riddle's horcrux at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place; died of blood loss due to overuse of a blood quill in detention; Death of Personality thanks to Snape losing his temper during Occulmancy lessons that were just a cover for weakening Potter more; died by overdose of illegally administered Veritaserum..."

"The fight at the Ministry," Susan whispered, remembering the life she had lived with Harry, "He fell through the Veil of Death saving Sirius Black..."

With dawning horror, Susan reached up and pulled a lock of hair down where she could see it; it wasn't the same red as the Weasleys, but a darker red, leaning towards brown, almost like a mid-point between them, "The 'Notice-Me' potions you mentioned, they were in fifth year, too, weren't they?"

The man behind the desk took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I'm sorry, I know you felt something for him yourself, that was real... but yes, like Miss Chang, his interest in you came from the conflict between his soul and the potions."

Silently, Daphne reached out and picked the next file up from the man's desk, but she didn't open it, "He was abandoned by his friends, Granger kept calling him a cheat and a lunatic... Malfoy was acting strange, sneaking around... we were both trying to find out what he was up to... I went with him to Slughorn's party... Snape killed him, threw him from the Astronomy Tower when he made his escape... I remember crying over his body when we finally found it, Father paid for his funeral since no one else seemed to care about him..."

The man behind the desk nodded as he replaced his glasses, "That wasn't his only death that year, but yes..."

He reached out and tapped one of the two remaining files, "This is his seventh year; possessed by Riddle's horcrux, killed at Malfoy Manor, killed by Riddle's Ministry, killed by Riddle himself... and do you know why? Do any of you know why?"

The three girls looked at each other, then back to the man behind the desk and shook their heads.

"Because a Dark Lord wouldn't leave him the hell alone!" The man thundered, "It's a simple be-damned destiny; defeat Riddle, marry his soul-mate, support her as she forces the British wizarding world to grow out of the damned Dark Ages, and live to a nice century and four-fifths age as the patriarch of the most influential magical family in Britain. But does he get to? No! Because some self-righteous, hypocritical bigot decides that it's more important to keep him 'safe' than train him to fight the people he's supposed to be 'safe' from, because they can't understand that what they think is best isn't always right, because they think it's more important to forgive the guilty than to protect the innocent, because they keep thinking that he doesn't know enough to make the right decisions while ignoring the fact that they're why he doesn't know enough..."

"Keeping him safe, forgiveness.." Susan's jaw dropped, "You're saying Dumbledore is a Dark Lord?"

The man snorted, "Well, he's sure not the 'Leader of the Light', no matter what he's claimed. What the hell is that even supposed to mean, anyways? Do you even know what his precious 'Greater Good' is? Here's a hint, he came up with it one summer along with his boyfriend Grindlewald. Now think about it, use that one square foot of real estate in your heads for something, if Grindlewald was Dark and Dumbledore was his best friend and lover, what really makes you think Dumbledore is any better? More subtle, yet, but still Dark."

"Well said," a voice spoke up from the doorway, causing the man behind the desk to jump to his feet and the three girls to turn in surprise.

"Lor-Lord Peverell," the man stammered, "Great Maker, don't tell me that I'm fired already, oh, Maker, not already... I..."

"Quit snivelling," Lord Peverell groaned as he walked into the room and pushed the man in glasses out of the way to sit down at his desk, "I hate it when people... snivel. Go do it somewhere else."

The man in glasses looked at Lord Peverell, then down at his shoes as he trudged out of the room.

"Now, we have an interesting situation here," Peverell addressed the three girls, "We have a Fated One on his last return without completing his destiny yet, his soulmate who's been kept from him with potions and spells by a Dark Lord... and three girls who aren't his soulmate yet still feel true love for him. When was the last time this happened...?"

Peverell appeared to be in thought for a moment before commenting, "Never! Congratulations, this is a first in the history of the Death Department. I'll have to have a discussion with the Department Head of Love after we're through here."

Su Li raised an eyebrow in curiousity.

"Love is a power that transcend even Death," Peverell explained, "It's the chosen power of Powerful Goodness and between the three of you and his soulmate, there's enough love for Mister Potter to allow us to bend the rules and send him back one more time."

"But there's a catch, isn't there," Daphne stated.

"Of course," Peverell admitted, "In this case, the catch is that because of his weak mental shields and inability to know when to follow authority and when to rebel, it's been decided by a conference of Department Heads that he, quite simply, can't be trusted with the knowledge of the truth. So instead, we intend to send him back to his third year... along with the three of you."

"Us?" Su Li asked, "But he doesn't even know us in third year..."

"He'll spend three weeks in Diagon Alley before the year starts and electives are cross-house," Peverell informed them, "Let him get to know you."

Peverell waved his hand over the desk and three forms with quills laying on them appeared on it, "And these are the forms you need to sign saying that I explained all of this to you and that you understand you'll be going back with your memories and if you flutz this up, Mister Potter's out of chances and the magical world's probably doomed to a fate of tyranny and eventual destruction."

All three girls looked at him in disbelief.

"You were an inspirational speaker before you died, weren't you?" Su Li finally asked.

"Actually, keeping my brothers out of trouble was a full-time job," Peverell replied, "Sign here at the top, here at the bottom and inital here, if you would."

The three girls exchanged a look before each of them picked up a quill and filled out a form.

"Now what?" Susan demanded as they laid the quills down.

Peverell nodded down at the quills and the girls watched as they changed from feather quills to a fire opal gemstone split into three parts, each part a former quill, "If each of you will take a girasol?"

Daphne picked up a fire opal fragment and frowned, "What are these for?"

"Girasol are stones of life energy and spiritual power," Su Li observed as she picked one up herself, "Some say that the stronger the inner goodness of a person, the brighter the stone appears."

"Very good, Miss Li," Peverell nodded as Susan took the last stone, "As for their purpose, they each contain a third of the sum total of Mister Potter's memories from his past lives. When all three of you are in agreement that he's reached the point where he can be trusted with the knowledge - all three of you, I say again - you will be able to re-fuse the fragments into a single stone and use it to restore his memories. Understood?"

The three girls looked at the fire opals in their hands, then each gave Lord Peverell a nod.

"Good. One more thing... I don't care if you three have to pull them into an orgy with you; get Potter and Granger together," Peverell rumbled.

The three girls glanced at each other with faint tinges of pink in their cheeks.

"Now" Peverell stood up and walked around the desk, "If you'll follow me, we'll get you sent back and I can move on to dealing with that Reaper of Mister Potter's..."

When Peverell opened the door and held it, gesturing for the girls to go first, Susan stopped in the doorway, "Why are you so concerned that Harry fulfills his destiny? It doesn't seem like it's the consequences..."

"Of course I care about the consequences, Miss Bones," Lord Peverell looked affronted, "The magical world still has an important part to play in the overall history of the world."

Susan gave him the hard 'we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but one way or another you're going to tell me what I want to know' stare that she had learned from her aunt.

"And I may take a certain personal interest in him as one of my last surviving descendants," Peverell admitted calmly, "Now, come along, after me, to the Resurrection Room so we can get you all sent back."