Incarceration

Hiram sighed as he watched his daughter's constant fidgeting and shuffling movements in his peripheral vision. She squirmed agitatedly in the back seat of her dad's Prius, not out of discomfort, but out of anxiousness. She was visibly unsettled and, to him, she had never looked so small. He remembers how she used to bounce around on that same seat, smile wide and energy radiating off of her in waves as she sang along enthusiastically to the radio or her latest Broadway CD mix, ready to take on the world. But now, the radio remained silent. No laughter or song was heard from over his shoulder. Now, instead of that sparkling gleam they once held, her eyes were dull and her lips thin and downturned. She seemed so broken…so empty, but most of all, she seemed so utterly terrified.

Catching her father's soft and sympathetic gaze, she proffered a small forced smile before tearing her eyes away to stare dejectedly out her window, more comfortable watching the white street lines zip by and the trees and houses pass than see that look directed at her. She wasn't used to it. She doubted she'd ever be. It wasn't like her to be on the receiving end of such pity and sorrow, least of all from her father. Usually people's gazes would be appreciative, holding fascination or wonderment or, in her parents' case, pure pride. But not anymore, and it tore her apart inside.

She didn't want to worry her fathers. She didn't want to cause them any more stress than she already had. She already hated herself for deepening the frown lines on their foreheads, for creating the puffiness in their eyes and the sagging under them too. After all, she had been the sole cause of it all. So she tried to hide the shaking of her hands by pretending to adjust her seat belt or by fiddling with her small gold star necklace that she was given as a celebratory gift after graduating from high school.

She tried to keep her breaths slow and steady, holding back her urge to allow herself the need to panic and hyperventilate and to just gasp for more air because she felt as if the world was closing in on her and there was nowhere she could turn. Nowhere she could run. Nowhere to hide from the consequences of her actions anymore. She had been caught, and now, it was time to face the music. Only this time, she didn't want to hear it.

She knew she would as soon as the car arrived at their destination, but as long as she kept herself together, kept calm and collected, she'd cause the two men in front of her a little less heartache, and she'd be able to deny what was to become of her in the inevitable future for a little while longer. So in the meantime she was content with just staring longingly out the window, trying to soak up all the sights that she knew she wouldn't be able to see for a long time. If she tried really hard and closed her eyes, she could even let herself pretend that it was just another family road trip like they used to take when she was younger. She could just pretend, even if only for a little while longer, that she was free, because she knew that soon she wouldn't be able to indulge that dream anymore.

Glancing over at his husband who was also watching Rachel in his rear view mirror, Hiram reached over the centre console and held Leroy's hand within his own, light skin clasping dark. Leroy exhaled slowly at the gesture, his husband's support taking an invisible weight off of his slumped shoulders. His firm grip on the steering wheel relaxed slightly and the crease in his brow smoothed considerably. He turned to his right and both men shared a look of understanding, squeezing each other's hand tighter in silent communication. This was happening. It was really happening. But they'd get through it together, all three of them.

What was minutes felt like hours as Leroy sharply flicked his indicator on and turned into another new street, this one void of traffic and with nobody in sight. They were on the far outskirts of Lima now, far away from their humble suburbia full of charming homes and familiar places and faces. These streets they travelled on now were foreign and unknown. There weren't kids playing in the front yards. No friendly neighbour greeting another as one mowed the lawn while the other collected the mail. No dog happily pawing the pavement alongside his owner on the sidewalk. Nothing. Just the monotonous passing of now desolated flats, the odd boarded up shop front, and eventually large factories carelessly billowing smoke into the atmosphere.

Rounding one last corner, the Berry family all released a collective gasp as their destination loomed haughtily from over the hillside.

Rachel's shoulders tensed as she bit down on her quivering lip to prevent the ebb of tears threatening to rise at the sight. The upcoming sign on the side of the deserted roadway only serving as another reminder of her sealed fate, the bold black letters holding an air of finality as they shone innocently in the sun's morning rays.

U.S. Department of Justice

Federal Department of Corrections

Federal

Correctional

Institution

Lima Heights Adjacent

Lima, Ohio

Self-surrender. It was a simple enough concept that was quite self-explanatory, really. She was giving herself up; admitting her fault and willingly paying her dues for it. It was quite noble in a sense, but she knew that it would make no difference beyond those harsh unrelenting brick walls and tall steel chain-linked and barb-wire topped fences that would enclose her for the next 15 months. The sight of it alone churning her stomach violently, a sickening feeling of unease settling in her gut.

"Alrighty, Miss…" the tall stocky woman who had introduced herself as Officer Beiste addressed with a deep voice, a lilt of a southern accent coming through as she read down the filled out surrender form, finding the name of the person in question and tapping her clipboard soundly. "Berry, here's your temporary ID. You'll stick this on your uniform when we get to that."

Rachel's nod was so small it was almost imperceptible, but her acceptance of the small sticker was answer enough. Leroy ran a worried hand over his dark brown crew cut as the reality of the situation hit him. Hiram took his glasses off and wiped away the fogginess and wetness that had blurred his lenses with the bottom hem of his stripped polo shirt. They all stood in a small empty waiting room outside the closed off admissions office. The space was filled with empty hard plastic chairs in the centre and lining the walls, and protocol posters and public service announcements and messages littering the walls surfaces. Rachel let her eyes wander over them needily, hoping that they could quell some of her fears about what she was about to face and provide her with something else to focus on other than the separation that was to come.

"Time to say goodbye, it might be a while before you'll be able to visit," Beiste told the two men regrettably. One rested both his hands on his child's back, trying to keep the girl grounded and relaxed as much as possible by massaging soothing circles over her shoulder blades and maintaining contact with her for as long as possible because he knew that he wouldn't be able to do so again for a very long time. The other, the tall burly African-American, unlike his shorter and paler counterpart, stood tall and met her level gaze steadfastly. His dark brown eyes trying to convey a desperate unspoken plea in them. It spoke volumes, begging her to look after his beloved daughter, because he wasn't able to anymore.

Beiste blinked and lowered her head slowly in a sign of understanding, evoking a thanking smile from Leroy. She turned around and walked a few paces away to give the small unconventional family some sense of privacy to say their farewells.

Turning around to face her fathers, Rachel looked up into two sets of watery brown eyes that held so much love shining through them, before collapsing into their waiting arms.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. For everything. I am so so sorry, Daddy," she cried into Leroy's soft jumper, inhaling deeply through her nose and trying to consolidate his scent to memory before doing the same for Hiram.

"Oh, babygirl," Hiram cried as he held her equally as tightly as she did him, not wanting the moment to end. "It's ok baby, it's ok. You don't have to apologise. We know you were only doing what you thought was right. What you believed in. And we are so very proud of you, so unbelievably proud."

Rachel's shoulders shook harder as Leroy circled around the two people that meant the world to him and held them both within his embrace, placing a lingering kiss to the top of his daughter's head before whispering, "we love you," over and over again in her ear as he rested his cheek on the same spot she had felt his trembling lips.

"We'll visit as often as they'll allow Rae, I promise," Leroy affirmed determinedly.

Rachel nodded fiercely into his firm chest before Officer Beiste softly faux coughed, signalling their ended time together.

"I love you both more than I can ever adequately express in words," Rachel laughed as she wiped away the salty droplets from her cheeks, trying to lighten the gloominess lingering in the room, not wanting the last image her fathers saw of her for a while to be such a glum one. "No matter what happens, that will never change. Please know that and never forget it. I truly feel like the luckiest daughter in the world to have such incredible parents, and I'm so thankful for you both."

Leroy and Hiram both laughed along too, mimicking their daughter by wiping away the residual wetness from their tear-stained face before Leroy replied, "and we feel the same for being blessed with such a beautiful daughter, inside and out," he finished as he tilted her bowed head up to kiss her forehead one last time.

The three Berry's smiled at each other before Beiste stepped forward and gently ushered Rachel away from the admissions foyer, the young girl quickly turning her head around to blow a kiss over her shoulder to her waving fathers before losing sight of them behind a set of large thick double doors.

"Strip."

"S-strip? A-as in…" Rachel stuttered as she stood in a large locker room with folded linens, readily available uniforms and the standard footwear filling the shelves along the white wash walls.

"As in, please remove all pieces of clothing and stand before me please, sweetie," Beiste explained reassuringly as the obviously nervous girl before her rubbed her hands up and down her arms before acquiescing. After performing a body check and determining what she had already predicted, that the girl wasn't smuggling any contraband on her person, she handed her her newly assigned uniform and allowed her to cover her naked body.

Rachel had never felt so exposed before. Probably because she never had been stark naked in front of a complete stranger before, but it was more than just baring her skin. It was like she was baring her soul. It was so…violating. She had never felt so helpless and powerless before in her life. So used to giving commands and dictating her own actions and sometimes even the actions of others, the naturally authoritative diva realised that she would now have to accept the fact that she couldn't control everything in her life anymore. It would all be controlled for her by others, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The bright orange jumpsuit fit the short brunette quite well, only just a little loosely around her long lean legs because of her petite frame, but Rachel never complained, accepting it with gratitude. Beiste sighed sadly at the sight of such a sweet and tiny girl in the prison getup. She never liked seeing young women, no older than 20 in Rachel Berry's case, being admitted into an adult prison. She wished that they could serve their sentences in a juvenile detention centre instead. At least there they'd be handled less harshly and be able to be with more people their own age, with more leniencies and options available to them. More support and openness. But unfortunately, the law just didn't work that way. Once you hit that 18 mark, you were legally considered an adult, and you were to be treated as such.

Rachel gnawed on her bottom lip as she looked down at her white lace up sneakers, tanned zip up winter jacket and orange jumpsuit. This would be her outfit from now on. She scrunched up her nose unconsciously because orange really wasn't her colour, but then again, it wasn't really anyone's colour, was it? She just really missed her argyle sweater vests.

Officer Beiste offered her a half-hearted smile of encouragement as she lined up outside the back of the office building for entrance into the transfer bus which would drive her the remainder of the way to the actual prison.

As a tall blonde in front of her stepped on, also clad in orange, she followed suit by taking a steady step up into the large van. Before the van's door closed in on her she mouthed a soft, "thank you," to the kind officer, before turning completely in her seat and buckling in her seat belt with a resounding click.

Rachel stared down at her lap, rubbing her hands up and down her thighs just to give them something to do before she could almost physically feel eyes burning into the side of her head.

Turning to her left languidly she was met with curious blue eyes smiling across at her.

"Hi!" the girl greeted brightly with a grin beaming with just as much intensity to match. "I'm Brittany, nice to meet ya!"

Rachel flinched and clutched her assigned linens, sleepwear, pillow and towel closer to her chest as an eager hand flew up across the spacing between them, reaching excitedly for hers. Not wanting to offend this girl that looked roughly the same age as her, she politely held her own out and took the fairer hand within hers.

"Nice to meet you Brittany, I'm Rachel."

Brittany's smile widened as she shook the smaller tanned hand with more vigour.

Rachel forced herself to supress a laugh at the enthusiasm that just emanated off of the blonde.

"So, what'cha in for?" Brittany asked, finally releasing Rachel's delicate hand and wiggling around to get more comfortable in her seat.

"Are you supposed to ask me that? I read that it isn't appropriate to ask someone that…"

"Where'd ya read that? Was there like a book we had to read? I didn't know! I haven't read it! Will I get in trouble? Is there gonna be a test?" Brittany fired off rapidly, questioning everything so innocently that Rachel quickly spoke to make amends to the other girl's unnecessary worry.

"No, no, there wasn't any mandatory reading required. I just thought it would be wise to research the commonly accepted prison etiquette in preparation for my stay in here."

Brittany licked her lips slowly in seemingly deep thought before frowning.

"Soooooo, is there a test or not? Because I didn't understand like three words you just said so I think I'll probably fail it."

"No, Brittany, there's no test, don't worry."

The bubbly girl pepped up again in relief. "Cool! Because I wasn't ever really good at tests in high school. I only barely graduated thanks to lots of tutoring from my brother, Sam. You'd like him, he's really nice, but he isn't very smart either. He can't read so well because he's dyslexic, so I helped him with his English as much as I could, and he helped me with math because he's better with numbers than I am. Ya know, I actually thought the square root of four was rainbows for a while."

Rachel sat utterly stunned at the freely yapping and jovial girl she'd literally just met. She had been so scared of letting other people know any personal details about her. She'd even considered creating a pseudonym to use on the inside to protect herself and her identity, but her fathers told her that she was being a little too melodramatic, and that if she changed her name she might end up forgetting who she really was whilst separated from society for such a long period of time, especially in such an environment. But this girl, Brittany, wasn't scared at all. Rachel wondered if the girl was actually scared of anything. Of the prison, of the other women that would await her in there, and of everything that none of the books could prepare Rachel for.

What scared Rachel most of all though? What would wait for her after her sentence was up. The terrifying answer? Nothing. No job prospects. No real college opportunities. No friends. Nothing. With a criminal record, she had no future, and that terrified her.

The front driver's side door opened and closed as a robust dark-skinned girl dressed in a short-sleeved khaki top and matching pants with a similar thick jacket draped over her shoulders pulled her security belt across her chest before turning around to face the two lone passengers in the back seat.

"Well hello to you two. How's your day been so far?" she asked casually, no sarcasm registering in her voice at all which shocked Rachel because, really? She was really asking them that?

Rachel blinked repeatedly before Brittany leaned forward in her seat to get a better look at the new girl that sat in front of her in the driver's seat.

"Really great actually! Much less scary than I thought it would be so far. I mean, Rachel is like super nice so it's really awesome knowing I'll have a friend that I can talk to in there," Brittany piped in happily.

Their driver then shook her head. "You can't call her that. Sure, on the outside everyone would call you by you by your first name, but in here, everyone uses last names. It's just how it works."

"Oh," Brittany paused before perking up again, "well mine's Pierce. Brittany S. Pierce," she said before she huffed and crossed her arms defensively. "Not to be confused with Britney Spears, the pop icon that stole my name and whose fame-filled shadow has tormented me my whole life."

Rachel's jaw slackened as it hung open in confusion at the blonde's words before snapping her attention back to the girl in front of her.

"I'm Berry, Rachel Berry."

The driver laughed as she heard the new soon to be inmates sound off their names so formally.

"Y'all can calm down. I'm not your superior or anythin' so there's no need to get all James Bond-y on me. I'm Jones, but since y'all told me your first names it's only fair I let you in on mine. It's Mercedes, nice to meet you both."

"Wait so, you're an inmate? And they let you drive?" Rachel questioned in surprise.

Mercedes chuckled heartily, "well who else is gonna do it? We do everythin' 'round here, you'll see that soon enough."

Sending a small salute to Beiste through the passenger side window after having spoken to her outside of the van earlier whilst Rachel and Brittany got acquainted, Mercedes turned the key in the ignition before shifting into first and starting the last stretch of their journey.

The ride was sluggish and bumpy as the van drove up a long dirt road with nothing but those constrictive fences barring off the open plains now surrounding them. They were very far from her Lima now. The crunch of the gravel below the tyres acting as the only sound in the awkward silence that filled the inside of the van.

"Can we play a game or somethin'? I'm really bored," Brittany sighed as her head leaned against the glass, feeling the vibrations that rumbled through the van.

"I'm not really in the mood."

"Oh come oooon Rach- Berry. What about 'I spy'?"

"There's nothing around here except trees and fences," Rachel replied, a sense of despondency obviously present in her tone. She missed the city lights and hustle and bustle of New York's unrelenting street life.

"Darn, those were both my answers. You're good at this game."

"We're almost there," Mercedes alerted them as they drove around one last bend before the large red brick building that they would soon call home appeared through the front window over the chunky dashboard.

Rachel swallowed painfully as the van pulled to a stop in front of the gates, an officer waving them through as another operated and lifted the boom gates with the touch of a button, before the van slipped inside and the gates closed solidly behind them again.

"Any last minute advice?" Rachel asked as her leg bounced up and down expeditiously of its own accord.

"Yeah, y'all seem like good kids so here's some tips, so listen up." Rachel and Brittany both leaned forward in their seats, not wanting to miss a word. "Don't make direct eye contact for too long 'cause people will think you're either interested in a hook up or challengin' 'em or just plain crazy, but also don't be too distant 'cause everyone will treat you like nothin' and you won't earn any favours that way. But also don't be too friendly 'cause they'll take advantage of you in a heartbeat. Don't trust anyone, not even the officers. Especially not the officers. Don't walk anywhere barefoot…" Mercedes listed as she counted off on her fingers before pausing in order to try and recall one point that evaded her for a beat.

"Under no circumstances should you ever insult the food," she warned adamantly. "…Oh, and don't die," Mercedes finished, offering a smile at the end as if it was the most normal thing in the world to be told. "A'ight, let's go girls."

Rachel bowed her head in thanks as the van's engine was killed and the vehicle became stationary.

Brittany undid her belt and scooted over across the saggy cheap leather next to Rachel as the large sliding door was flung open on her side of the van by an officer. A long concrete path paved the way toward the prison, lined with curious inmates all watching the new comers intently. Rachel always loved being in the spotlight. In fact, she usually thrived in it and sought it out as much as possible. But not today. Not now. Not here.

The feeling of at least twenty different sets of eyes tracking her every movement had never shaken her more. She was petrified, standing rooted to the ground, her body refusing to take a step further. The ogling and scrutinising looks directed at her putting her on edge even more. She didn't know whether some were checking her out as a potential lover, or as a potential threat. Either way, she knew she didn't want to find out.

Brittany smiled unabashedly at all the strangers looking her way, even waving to some of them. Taking a skip in following of Mercedes, Brittany soon realised the lacking presence of the shorter girl she had just spent the past twenty minutes getting to know. Turning back, she saw brown eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, darting in all directions. Titling her head to the side, she shook it lightly before stepping up to the girl and holding her hand out.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok, Berry. You don't have to be so scared anymore. I promise I won't let anybody hurt you. Us newbies gotta stick together, right?"

Rachel heard the words and released a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding as she closed her eyes and clasped Brittany's hand, relishing in the feeling of safety the gesture held, and the vow of protection it promised.

Brittany nodded and faced the entrance to the prison once again, this time taking her step towards it and hearing Rachel do the same beside her. Mercedes was a few metres ahead, walking calmly like this was just a typical day for her and she was on a leisurely stroll.

As the two new inmates made their approach, catcalls and wolf-whistles ensued, sometimes followed up with a flirtatious passing comment or holler from the smirking inmates leaning back against the fence on either side of the walkway.

Mercedes had now reached the door, holding it open in waiting for the two new inductees. Brittany tried to walk at her usual pace with a spring in her step, but Rachel's hand shook within hers so violently that she was forced to slow down for her, before subtly whispering into the brunette's ear.

"Rach- uhh, I mean, Berry, you need to calm down a little. You're shaking like a tree!"

"L-leaf."

"What? You want me to leave?"

"No!" Rachel answered quickly, her nervous stuttering dissipating instantly as alarm ran through her body, taking and clutching the warm hand within hers tighter. "The expression is…nevermind. Please don't leave me. I…I don't want to do this alone."

Feeling Rachel's other hand cling to her same forearm that led to their clasped hands, Brittany also fastened her grip, giving all the answer Rachel needed.

Rachel leaned into Brittany's side even more, wanting to feel closer to her and further away from the other women. Her lips tweaked upwards as she felt the strengthening of the bond between them, both literally and metaphorically. It was strange, she had just met the girl, but already she felt as if she could trust her completely. She had the feeling that that was the reaction many would have towards this tall cheerily optimistic woman beside her.

Brittany's hand had acted as an anchor, keeping her steady and level-headed. Or alternatively, a buoy, keeping her afloat when she felt like she was sinking within herself. The blonde was like a guiding beacon in a moment of blindness, a blindness caused by Rachel's fear, darkening and shrouding her senses.

Rachel chewed the inside of her cheek as her love of metaphors got the better of her, offering her a small reprieve in her mind by distracting her momentarily from the outside world. As the distance between her and the patiently waiting Mercedes lessened, Rachel realised that no matter what figurative comparison she made, the end result would always be the same. Brittany was her best chance of surviving in this place.

Eyebrows of the observing women raised at the close connection between the two contrasting opposites; the tall blue-eyed blonde and the short brown-eyed brunette practically inseparable, attached to the hip. One exuding confidence and courage, the other timid and unsure. One inmate in particular watched the two newbies purposefully before disappearing inside to report her findings.