Chapter 1

They say love is a wonderful thing but if it's so wonderful then why does it hurt so much? I loved her, and what does she go do, she goes and cheats on me with that dumb jerk Collin. Apparently I'm not good enough for her and she never got the guts to tell me that, she figured I would never find out. Well I did and now here I am with a broken heart. All I wanted to do was see her, see her on her big day, and I of course I get there a little early, and she's standing in her front yard, long black hair flowing down her back, wearing a flowered dress. I can't tell what she's doing at first but then I realize that she's kissing him, that's when I get out of the car. She sees me and pulls away, as soon as I reach them she gets the nerve to tell me, "it's not what it looks like, really", "yeah right,if it's not what it looks like then tell me why you would be kissing him"i say in response.

Collin of course steps in, "back off man, leave her alone,she has her reasons"he says. Only feeling more anger,i try to punch him, and I land one on him. But this only ends in him throwing one back at me and us tussling on the grass, as she yells at us to stop. We finally do and I decide to leave, "we're over, I hope your happy now"I say, "well I should be, I never loved you fully anyways"she says. This is the moment she really breaks my heart but I never showed this to her, I pull the tough guy act with them. As I start to drive home, it starts to rain, the perfect weather for my sad mood. Tears threaten and I know I need to pull over, so I do. Then I really start to cry, I haven't cried in a long time but the situation, warrants for it. By the time I'm done I'm still a little shaky but feel like I can make it home, and I do eventually. Somehow I manage to unlock the door and I go inside, no one's there or so I think. I lay down on the couch trying to enjoy the silence but my thoughts are so jumbled and racing that I don't know how to slow them.

At some point I sense my mom come into the room, and she sits down, she knows something is wrong right away. "Matty, baby, whats going on, I can always tell when you feeling sad, you always leave the lights off"she asks me, running her fingers through my hair, "mom Jenna cheated on me, I saw her do it, she kissed the guy right in front of me"I say quietly, "oh honey, I'm so so sorry, come here"she says to me. Despite the fact I'm taller than her now, she wraps her arm around me, and lets me cry, I feel her hand rubbing my back as sobs wrack my body. I calm down at some point and I guess I fall into a restless sleep, until she wakes me for dinner. I sit at the table but I honestly feel numb to everything, I eat but I stay quiet, knowing that I'm trying to shut down like I did with the last bad break up. After dinner mom ends up deciding that I have had a rough day and sends me to my bedroom. I go and I lay down on my bed, not sure what's going to happen after this blows over.

Eventually I decide to listen to music and after I get it going I lay back down on my bed. I drift in and out of sleep, until finally it's for good. My mom comes in at some point to turn off the music and all she does after that is pull a blanket over me and sits beside me for awhile. I feel her leave after quite a bit of time and she shuts off the light.