[This chapter was depressing as hell to write! It may come of cheesy, but I like the idea of two lovers separated by their alliances. *Shrug*

The song used for the lyrics in this chapter is The Raveonettes' 'Lust.' Awesome song, so feel free to listen while reading.]

-Garfield-

Garfield watched Kate as she took a long drag from his smoke, inhaling it. She tried to hold it in her lungs as best she could, put a good 'smoker face' on, but she couldn't manage. Kate wasn't a smoker. She just smoked to humor him as he sulked in the T-Car. She started to lightly cough, handing the cigarette back to Gar. Smoke came flowing out from her mouth as she coughed it back. Gar snickered, taking a final puff before tossing the smoke out of the window, leaning back in the passenger seat of the T-Car.

The two were perched outside the club, awaiting the others to emerge from inside. Kate still had her ear bud in, but Garfield didn't feel like humoring the operation anymore. He was sure Nightwing would be pissed about that. The street seemed empty now, the night well into the late hours. A few people would come and go, a few homeless bums, clubbers escorting drunken friends out, etc. The muffled thumping of the music was a constant reminder that this party wasn't ending anytime soon. Garfield kept expecting to see Terra walk out the front door, but she never did…

Garfield didn't know if it was common knowledge or not, but in this moment he thought of Superman. How this alien, with supreme confidence and power, could be crippled by a little rock like Kryptonite. Garfield felt like Terra was his Kryptonite. She had the power to ruin him by just a look, and risk the entire op because she had this effect on Garfield that could make him turn to puddy in all the worst ways.

"She was pretty." Kate said, speaking up. Her voice was a bit raspy from her coughing. She leaned back into the seat, smiling over to Garfield.

"Huh?" Garfield asked, still somewhat in a daze of self-pity.

"Your old girlfriend. Terra was her name, right? She's a beautiful girl."

Garfield smirked, "Well, unlike Raven, I might have a problem with you goin' after that one." He said, turning towards her.

"That's not what I meant." She said smiling, "I'm just sayin'... I can see why you put so much in for her, why she meant so much to you." Did she know? Did she know that Terra was also a wanted Terrorist, a super criminal who was given a new identity by another more dangerous terrorist? She had to have known. The two had been friends a long time. And Garfield felt like he must have talked about her… Or did he?

"It wasn't just her looks though." Garfield mumbled, turning to look back out the window. He fixated on another passing police patrol. The two men were in big, bulky white armor, typical of Jump City police even before he left. They also had combat helmets and large assault rifles. Garfield never thought of it before, but they looked like soldiers… Not police. "She was beautiful, yeah… She still is." He paused a moment, "I remember when we first met. I was so freakin' obvious about crushing on her. I mean, it wasn't even a surprise when I asked her on a date. Like she saw it coming… After she left us for Slade, I kept wondering to myself it was all a ruse, if she just got close to me to seem reliable, if it was all fake. Even now… Even now I think that."

"Well, she seemed eager to see you tonight…" Kate muttered back, lifting a hand to grip the steering wheel. She too saw the police, but was much more wary of them than Garfield was. She pulled out the car keys and laid them in her lap.

"Yeah, but to what purpose, ya know? I don't feel like I can trust her, knowing she's in there dancing about like nothing is wrong."

Kate let out a sigh, pulling back some of her red hair behind her ear, "Nightwing's really got you paranoid."

"For good reason!" He didn't mean to yell, but it came out like it anyway, "You never saw what a naive little idiot I was back then. Shit like the stuff I did when I was a teen would have gotten me killed in there tonight. Ya know, I really wanted to stay young, keep things light, look on the bright side, whatever… Things changed." Garfield huffed out in annoyance, turning away from her and muttering out a, "Sorry…" He never yelled at Kate. The two were too close for that, but she just didn't get it! This wasn't something he could shake off like a cold. This was Terra! It didn't only mean something to him, but the whole team. The loss, the teammate they all assumed was dead… Garfield knew different, but now they all saw. They all saw, and he knew he wasn't crazy anymore.

"I'm sorry too." Kate said with a pat to his shoulder. The pat spurred him back to look at her, and he smiled, taking her hand with his own and squeezing it.

"Kate, you're probably my best friend right now… I had the others, yeah, back in the old days, but these recent years have meant a lot to me. I got down low when I started working for Nightwing, and ya picked me back up. T-Thanks." He mumbled out, looking up at her.

She gave a cocky little smirk, "That's how I do, dude. Now stop gettin' all sentimental. We're hardcore special ops crime fighters, let's act like it eh?" She said jokingly, giving him a quick shove. Garfield nodded with a snort, turning back to the road. Thankfully, what greeted them were the Titans: Raven, Cyborg, Robin and… Jinx?

-Dick-

"When you guys left Jump City, the gangs split the city up piece by piece. Sionis was there in the beginning too, but his influence didn't count for much at first. Now, he controls it all. Whatever gangs are out there on the street, they all contribute a piece to the man in the mask…" Jinx laid out a large photo of Black Mask walking from his building. It was broad daylight, and the crime lord was walking about in the open streets with his trademark mask on. Hell, were things in Jump City so bad that bosses like him could walk around unharassed?

Dick made his concerns known, "How can he walk around like that? Why don't the police stop him? I mean, isn't it at least illegal to wear a mask in public?" He asked, sitting forward, his forearms resting on his knees, "Also, you're up Vic."

Victor blinked, watching as Raven hovered away from the alley. The bowling ball she had just tossed down was already in the gutter, and it wasn't even half way down the lane. That rang up another zero in Raven's impressive grand score of… Zero. Raven had a blank look on her face, hovering back to the table where Jinx had everyone sitting. She had Hot Spot behind her, his flames subsided to show his normal dark features. Robin peaked over his shoulder to see Red Star speaking to the owner of the Bowling Alley, slipping him some money. The only Titans left in Jump, and they had to resort to petty bribery to have a decent secret meeting. Changeling and Batwoman sat next to Nightwing, watching Jinx explain the Mask's influence.

Jinx had changed quite a bit since last he saw her. She was dressed in a sexy black dress, black stockings leading down to heels, but what struck him was her choice in hair and tattoos over the past four years. She had a punky undercut that hid her right eye at times, and a weird looking set of tattoos. They looked like some kind of tribal or voodoo markings. If he didn't know it was Jinx, he would have thought she was some normal punk chick, going to shows and partying with her like minded friends… She was still pale though.

Red Star looked pretty much the same. He seemed a lot more serious, a pair of black aviators on his nose. He wore a pair of olive slacks with a white t-shirt, a olive green jacket with a fur lining running along his neck. He still had his uniform's hat still on his head, the red star still emblazoned on the front. Dick hadn't spoken to him yet, but he'd like to soon.

Hot Spot was a strange sight. He just looked… Normal. Dick remembered how he usually saw him engulfed in flames, the only sign of his features being bright white shapes of eyes and a mouth. Now, he just looked like some dude… He was dressed in jeans and a black hoody, the collar of his flame retardant suit peeking from the collar of his hoody.

The bowling alley was not Nightwing's idea. In fact, he made it explicitly known to both Jinx and Cyborg that it was too exposed, that they couldn't trust someone holding secrets by the billfold. This was bound to leak out, and it was only a matter of time. This is not how Nightwing wanted to run this new team. They were taking too many chances, and one little slip could cause everything to come crumbling down.

"You ain't even tryin' Rae!" Cyborg complained.

"I don't like bowling." She stated flatly, turning towards Jinx, who was looking at her.

Jinx huffed, "She's as cheerful as I remember…" She then turned to Nightwing, answering him, "You know the answer to that. Mask has quite a hand in all the goings on in Jump City. That includes politics. The recent Mayor, uh… Dude named Joseph Waters, ran his campaign on Mask's money. With that money, the two were able to fund candidate after candidate, getting their own DA, a woman named Clarence Betty, and a new police chief, and his name is… Donald Montgomery."

"So, what does this mean?" Batwoman asked calmly, leaning forward.

"It means forget tying up criminals and waiting for the cops to take em' to jail. Those days are over… If the crime has anything to do with Mask or his empire, they're usually out by the end of the week." Everyone got quiet from that. Cyborg rolled his ball down the alley, watching as the ball curved a bit, then slammed into the row of pins. He got most of them, save a couple.

"Which means…" Cyborg began, turning around, "That this operation, the Titans we're gonna be, is going to have to change. We need to target the government and dismantle it, either taking it down completely or putting someone new on the inside."

Dick leaned back in his chair, "You're talking about revolution, not crime fighting."

"There ain't much of a difference now, captain." Jinx purred in, "I've been working these streets for four years, and I haven't been able to keep a single boss in jail. Even murderers with countless witnesses against them, the witnesses disappear or the change their minds." She sighed, losing her sassy attitude, "Jump City is lost, Bird Boy. The only plan of attack is bringing it down."

Dick frowned at that. In that moment, he heard Terra in Jinx's tone, telling him how hopeless everything was. Dick didn't trust Jinx. He trusted both Red Star and Hot Spot, so that weighed in her favor, but he didn't like this sudden appearance from two ex-allies, both with a reputation of being rather grey on whose side they were on. He furrowed his brow at her, then turned to Garfield.

Gar still had his nano cloak on, and he was staring at the ground, sitting next to Kate. He wasn't sure where he was in all this, but Dick usually thought Garfield was in favor for whatever Dick was. Now though? After all that has happened?

"You're up Gar." Cyborg said, plopping down in his seat behind Jinx. The way the group was seated, it almost seemed like two opposing sides to their conversation. The Orphans, Dick, Kate and Gar on one side… And Cyborg's rebels: Hot Spot, Jinx and Red Star (Who had come back from bribing the owner.)

Dick wondered how Cyborg could trust Jinx so easily outright. The two had been affectionate with each other as they left the club, so Dick had figured Vic's crush was overlapping his sense. But now… This seemed more like a power play, like Cy was attempting to push ultimatums about what the Titans were going to be and what they weren't going to be. Dick would have to discuss leadership with Cyborg, when the time was right.

Garfield rose out of his seat, taking another sip of his beer. Dick didn't know where he had gotten it, but he felt it unwise to ask. He saw Raven's eyes following Gar, and then they fell to the ground. Terra had done a number on the group's morale, and she didn't even throw a punch. Garfield dragged his feet to the ball dispenser, taking his green bowling ball in his hand.

Jinx watched the Titan approach the lane, beer in one hand and bowling ball in the other. He didn't look like he was in any state to bowl, "What's up with Beasty?" She asked, lifting a brow. She had a number of other folders in her small bag she lifted onto the table. One was labeled, 'Sons & Daughters of Trigon.' Another was called, 'Miscellaneous gangs.'

"Bad night." Raven muttered, taking a sip of hot coffee she had fetched behind the concession stand. She watched Garfield bowl with passing interest, holding her coffee in both hands.

Jinx shrugged, leaving it at that as Garfield rolled his ball, "Listen, I got a lot here… So, maybe it'd be best to discuss all this back at your tower."

"You aren't coming to the tower just yet." Nightwing stated, "No offense, but I haven't heard enough to make me trust you. Yeah, you have brought us a lot, but how much of that isn't already common knowledge, or out of date? Cy and I will need to take a look at your data and make a judgement call for ourselves how to proceed." Dick then thrust his hand out, awaiting the files Jinx had in her hands to change to his.

Jinx blinked at him, then shrugged, handing the files over to Nightwing. Nightwing nodded, glancing to a frowning Cyborg who was glaring at him. Of course Vic would be angry, but Dick wanted to put his foot down. Decisions would STOP going over his head, and he would make sure any future decisions would get approval first. That included new members.

Garfield finished his turn, spinning back around with a small stumble as he faced the others, "I'm gonna step outside a sec…" He mumbled, walking away from the group. Kate threw her arm over her chair, looking back at him, "You want any company?"

"Nah, I'm good." He yelled back, throwing his hand up in a wave.

Dick watched him go, frowning. He turned back to the others and caught Raven staring at him. She blinked, and looked back down at her feet.

-Garfield-

The air was getting colder. It was about 4 A.M. now, and Garfield wanted to be anywhere but here. Hell, even in Gotham. He walked out from the front door, letting it swing slowly closed behind him. He lifted his head, staring up towards the sky. All the stars were dimmed by the lights of the city, which flickered in silent brilliance that seemed to make all the bad vibes go away. The city lights were his stars, and he was drifting out in space amongst them. All of this was accompanied by a staticy, muffled radio that played on the bowling alley's aged speakers that hanged from the side of the building. It gave the place an ethereal aura.

He trailed along the side of the building, walking in the abandoned parking lot. He lifted his hand to feel the rugged, broken texture of the chipped painted against his fingers. Every now and then he would hear the sound of a car in the distance driving by, but otherwise it was silent. No crickets, no sounds from the highway... It felt safe, but open… Gar was confident he wasn't being watched, but there were so many places where wondering eyes could lock on him. He looked up towards the skyscrapers that stood before him, glimpsing to the lights left on by employees too much in a hurry to shut them off. Nothing.

"Fuck it." He muttered, leaning up against the wall. He looked left and right, slipping a hand over one of his rings and pulling it free. He could feel the nano cloak flicker off of him, watching as the white skin flickered to his trademark green tint. A lump in his throat formed, a split second of panic as he felt the world go completely silent, as if it were reacting to his reveal.

A new song started on the radio… Gar didn't recognize it. It was some kind of indie rock band. He nodded his head along with it.

I fell out of heaven…

To be with you in hell…

My sin's not quite seven…

Nothing much to tell…

Garfield let his eyes close as he leaned against the wall, absorbing himself in his private little universe. He fondled for his cigarettes-

There was a sudden rush that filled his senses, and his ears twitched at the sound of pattering footsteps. His eyes flashed open, and the sight of Terra running at him filled his view.

Her hand shot down to the ground, and dirt gathered in her open palm like it belonged there, forming into a sharp, brutish dagger. She skidded to a stop in front of Garfield, holding the knife to his throat. The blade pressed into his neck so quickly, he didn't have a possibility of reacting.

Terra...

The two just stared at each other. Garfield was unable to move, his eyes wide with the sight of his love… The ghost… Terra was before him.

Lust I haven't craved…

A sainted boy I'm not…

I'll take it to my grave…

A side cursed on rot…

A guitar riff started as the two locked eyes. Terra was out of breath from her quick sprint, blonde hair matted to her forehead as her deep blue eyes gazed into his own. Her brow was furrowed, and she almost looked hateful, fixated on him like a target. 'It figured...' Garfield thought, 'She is here to finish the job.' Garfield wanted to close his eyes, let her finish him off from her four year hiatus of killing him. He flinched, attempting to close them, but he couldn't.

Her eyes softened though, and the dagger in her hand, steadily pressed against his open throat, began to tremble. She breathed hard, but not from the burst of energy she just gave. Her eyes looked him down over and over again, as if confirming what she saw was real, that it was indeed Garfield. She breathed as if realizing something, if some terrible hidden secret was just unleashed to the world and she couldn't cover it up, couldn't hide, couldn't get away…

"I-It is you." She whimpered, tears building in her eyes. "I mean, I knew i-it was… I figured after what happ-happened in the club... But I can see you now. I can see it all. Your silly green skin, those ears, my favorite little tooth." She laughed to herself, her whole body quaking with anxiety now. She gently nosed at his chin, the ghost confirming she was real with a gentle nuzzle, "Oh God Beast Boy, I'm so sorry… I'm so so sorry."

Garfield didn't know what to do. He stood frozen, looking to the love of his life looking at him as if he died, as if he were a ghost himself. He couldn't tell, but he too was shaking from head to toe. She was here. She was right in front of him. It wasn't a ghost, an illusion a trick from Slade… And it wasn't the Terra that pretended to be something she wasn't, the Terra that rejected Garfield and decided to live her life normally. It was the real Terra. He could feel her heat, the way her breath quivered past her lips to dance along the cool air before hitting him.

She pushed herself up on her toes, pressing into his lips with a deep kiss. She turned her head, pushing in deeper. Garfield met her tongue in an eager lean forward, the two dancing within each other's mouth as Garfield groaned to himself. Not in pain, or lust… In shock. She was here and she still loved him. At least he hoped… This wasn't a trick. This wasn't a trick.

The dagger fell from her hand, the concentration on its form lost. It crumbled to pieces, the idea of it forming some kind of solid weapon preposterous in post-mortem. She lifted her hands to his collar, pulling him in closer, forcing him on her mouth with such force, Garfield thought his lips were going to bruise.

Garfield had his hands raised in surrender, but when she kissed him he melted into her, quickly scooping her up by her elbows to pull her in close. His touch made her shiver, shifting onto her own toes by instinct. His hands then pawed to her waist, pulling her into him. Her body was as light and skinny as before, only puffed out from the large coat she was wearing. The two were of the same height, and everything felt so right and pure, but scary… It was like a contest to see who would break, who would turn away and deny their affection for each other after all these years, all this pain...

The two parted from their kiss, Terra's mouth agape as her lips quivered in shyness. There was a hot flush on her cheeks that Garfield couldn't think was real. Terra was a cold, evil woman right? This was a trick right? She didn't… She didn't love him, right? Terra panted as she stared at Garfield, the tears never leaving her eyes. Garfield felt a wetness build in his own eyes, and he too was crying. He didn't dare wipe them away.

I ride this ropes alone…

Beneath the sulfur sky…

Everywhere I roam…

Life is one big lie...

Garfield was the next one to embrace, his hands slipping down to her rump as he pushed into her with another kiss. She arched her back from the force of it, muffled by his lips as he took her in. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight. He scooped her up with a masculinity he didn't know he had, spinning around to pin her to the wall. He then pressed himself against her, holding her body in place. She gasped in surprise, but let him work her the way he wanted her. Her gloved hands curled around to cup his cheeks, and she looked down at him as she gained a couple of inches in height, needily pushing into his mouth with her tongue. Her eyes fluttered closed, as if this was all she ever wanted. Terra let her legs wrap around his waist, holding herself up as the two made out with a needing ferocity that neither knew they had for each other. She gyrated herself against her, and Garfield felt himself growing more and more aroused. These moments were quick and fleeting, but it felt like the two suddenly had an eternity to spend with each other, and the only thing on either's mind was ravaging the other.

When the fireball goes down…

Out by LA waste…

I come into town…

But only for a day...

The singer of the indie band moaned with another guitar solo, building their embrace to a sort of climax. Garfield wanted to take her right here, show her how much she meant to him with everything he could give. His hand slipped under her shirt, pawing at her belly and coaxing its way up to her chest. When he reached it, she gasped with a pleasured moan, a hand lifting to shakily run through his hair, fingers at his scalp. Her shaky breaths made clouds in the cold air, the heat between them enough to suffice through this cold evening. Her eyes were still closed, biting her lip as she squeezed tight around his body.

Garfield's eyes wandered off her body for a moment, looking down to the dirt ground below them. Little specs of rock and dirt began to flood around them, creating a little meteor field of pebbles around their embrace that seemed to protect them, hold them in. She was so flushed with passion that she was losing control. Garfield felt as if he was losing control too, soft growls escaping his lips as he trailed down from her lips to kiss and nip at her neck, like a wild animal catching his prey. The beast was coming out again, but Gar didn't dare hold it back. Terra wanted it. She wanted it, and he knew it.

He reached down to her bottom again, hooking his thumbs into her pants. He pulled on them, trying to pull them down. She unlocked her legs from his waist, looking down to his exploring hands as they pawed to strip her. Her feet settled on the ground and she anxiously awaited his stripping. Her breath quickened, a soft mumbling of want filling the space between them. She was growling in her own little way, huffing out in need as he tried to work her tight jeans down her legs.

No...

He then stepped away, lifting his hands up as he closed his eyes, panting as he stepped back. The pebbles that surrounded them began to dip, and he could feel them bumping into him as he stepped away from her, "Whoa… Whoa, whoa, whoa." Garfield gasped, waving his hands in front of himself. "S-stop a second."

Terra looked like a hot mess, but she quickly pulled up her pants and composed herself, blinking, "W-what?"

"I… I can't." Garfield mumbled, shaking his head, "This is weird." He stated, lowering his hands.

Terra approached him slowly, showing him that she didn't plan to jump him again with a measured approach. The two were inches from each other, panting in the desire that built so far only to be halted so suddenly, "I-It's ok." She muttered, leaning in to kiss his cheek, "I get it." She said with a soft smile.

"W-where have you been? Why were you… At Black Mask's club?" He asked, staring down at the ground between him. The passion had left him, replaced with mistrust and shame, his own soft blush lighting up his green cheeks. This had to be a trick. Terra was never so attached to him, never so needy for his touch. True, they weren't pre-teens. The two were adults with adult wanting and desires… But...

Terra didn't answer. She looked down to his hands, taking one inside her own. She pulled his hand towards her, holding it between her own, clutching tightly, "I… I can't say." She whispered, "It's not Slade." She said quickly, as if to deny a suspicion that was building within Garfield's mind.

"How do I know that?" Garfield asked venomously, looking away from her towards the city. Tears trailed down his cheek, and and there was silence between them, until the lyrics of the music picked up again…

If starving in bed means…

A pray for you to understand…

The man cure is sleek…

But lust holds my hand…

Garfield pulled away from her hand, a sharp pull that implied the hidden hatred that laid deep in his heart. He was still angry, angry how she came back in his life just to mess him up again. The look on her face when he pulled away was one of hurt, but she pulled her hand up to her chest and smiled, as if she expected it.

I stumbled and I cry…

I pounce with no revenge…

At least I never lied…

Or took the truth to rail…

"Garfield… I know I've hurt you, hurt the team… I know you can't forgive me for that, can't get… get close to me. I'm not angry, I get it." She mumbled, her turn to look away now. "I wish… I wish things could have been different. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I put you all through, how I wrecked everything." Her voice quaked with the tears, and she pushed her hands in her pockets and turned away, an act of self denese, hiding herself from him, "Just know… Just know that I still love you. No matter what happened and what's going to happen in the future. You were my first." She smiled at him, blinking away tears, "And I love you."

She began to walk away.

Garfield quickly darted after her, taking her by the arm and pulling her back. He kissed her again, softly this time, holding her in place as she let out a sorrowful little grunt before lifting her hands to his chest, lightly pushing away from him. The two parted, and Garfield panted out, "Come with us. We can start over. I know it'll be weird, the other Titans no trustin' you and all, but we can make it work-

"Gar…" She moaned out between sobs.

"Please... Let's start this over, let's just try it."

"Gar, I can't."

"Why?" He yelped, "Why can't there be second chances?" He asked, clutching her by her shoulders.

Terra smirked, "I've spent all my chances…" She stood up on her toes, planting another kiss on his cheek, "I'll be watching." She said softly into his ear, finally stepping away from her lover. She walked backwards, staring at him, hand thrust out as if she were trying to stay closer, have her hand within reach to Garfield.

Gar fell down on his knees, watching her go. She continued to stare at him until she disappeared into the shadows of the night, the muffled sound of earth moving signaling her final departure.

Garfield remained in his spot for what felt like hours, kneeling down before Jump City like a sacrifice. He wept at times, but mostly just stared. He looked down to the earth below him, seeing the rough dirt below him. He reached down, taking a handful of the dirt in his hand. It piled in his palm like a tiny mountain. He reached to his chest, rubbing the dirt into his dress shirt, smearing it with a brown tint. It made him feel closer to her, closer to what she truly was. He continued to rub dirt into his clothes, ruining his pants, his tie, his hair, his face. He smothered himself in the earth below, just trying… Trying so hard to get back to her...