There aren't enough words, so I'll just say thank you to justareader07 for looking it over and letting me know it wasn't too cheesy haha. Hope y'all like it.

Deeks laid in bed, his partner giving off small snorts next to him. The last twelve hours had tested their limits, each of them coming face to face with their nightmares and overcoming them together. And while he should have felt relief, it was confusion that clouded his head. He rolled over, facing Kensi and watched as she slept, the bruises on her face becoming more prominent. He knew the physical damage would heal, but he was worried about the emotional. She'd already had one nightmare, but he had quietly chased it away, having now learned how to calm her down without waking her up.

He stroked her hair, causing Kensi to sigh softly before turning towards him, even in her sleep needing to be close to him. He knew it was dangerous, mixing feelings in with their job. But he also knew that trying to deny what was there could make it worse. Right now, he didn't know what to do.

Deeks slid out of bed, heading towards the shower. Being so close to her, wanting to touch her, it wasn't a good idea right now. He needed clear his head. As he stepped under the hot water, he tried to gather his thoughts.

The devil on his shoulder told him he didn't need anyone. He had been on his own most of his life, learning how to depend on himself alone. It wasn't always easy, but it's what he did best. If something happened and he had to go back under for LAPD, he wouldn't need to worry about the woman currently sleeping in his bed. She would be a distraction, his mind always going back to her and wondering how she was. A slip of the tongue could mean his death.

The angel showed up, tsking at him. Of course he had learned how to do things solo, but the past four years had shown him that being alone wasn't always best. He and Kensi worked great together, showing him that while one is good, two is better. There wasn't anything they couldn't do – together. Tonight had shown him that.

The devil tapped him, making sure he remembered it was his past that had gotten them in the mess in the first place. Granger had assigned him to getting info from Monica, and Deeks had done what was necessary as Max Gentry to get it. Sure, things had gone awry when Monica had stolen the diamonds, but in the end it had sorted itself out.

But so many things had come to light that day. Kensi's jealousy, the words they had spoken over comms and the conversation he had heard between Kensi and Monica "though she doesn't know I heard that little gem," then the note he received from Hetty. Sunshine and gunpowder. Even now he could smell it. It was all around him, engulfing him.

As he grabbed the shampoo, the angel was whispering in his ear.

Kensi was his light in the darkness, the only thing that had gotten him through Sidorov. Her smile, her laugh… everything. She was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing on his mind at night. She filled the hours in between and visited his dreams. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't she consumed him somehow.

As he turned the water off and dressed, he knew his protests were futile. He needed her like he needed air. He would have been able to live with being partners and friends. It wouldn't have been fun, or easy, but he could have done it if that's the only way he could have her.

As he stepped into the room, his eyes on the beautiful brunette before him, a smile graced his lips for the first time that night. Now, after what seemed like eternity, he realized he was ready for more. Their first night together, neither of them had been prepared for the next day, the consequences of jumping head first into the unknown had thrown them both for a loop. But they had both been to the very depths of hell and had survived. He knew if they left things unsaid and as they stood now, if something happened to them tomorrow they would both have regrets. And Kensi had enough regrets and what if's in her past. He wasn't going to add to it.

Kensi stirred, rolling to her side as her arm stretched out towards his side of the bed. He saw the frown on her face as she realized the sheets were cold. He chuckled quietly, happy in the knowledge that she wanted - needed - him next to her. It reaffirmed his plan to woo her. And if she hadn't been sleeping, he would have laughed at his choice of words. He quickly scribbled a note to his partner and left it on his pillow, making sure that she would see it. As he grabbed Monty's leash, he glanced one more time at his sleeping beauty. Yeah, it was definitely time that things changed.

Kensi's eyes popped open, the smell of Deeks surrounding her but she knew by the coldness of the sheets next to her that he wasn't in bed with her. She sighed, letting her eyes focus and then narrow at the piece of paper on the pillow. She grabbed it, thinking it was going to be Deeks telling her he went surfing and would see her later and that wasn't something she could handle right at this moment, she needed him next to her. Noticing it was still dark outside, she looked at the clock. 5:03am.

She had noticed his distance after arriving at his apartment last night, and she couldn't blame him. A lot had happened, and they both needed time to stop and think. Would a relationship between them be their demise? If people could read them like an open book without anything actually going on, what would happen if they were together? The doubts were creeping in, and Kensi was hating it. She threw the covers off and headed to the bathroom, where everything around her smelled like him. She figured he had taken a shower before heading out… wait, it wouldn't make sense to take a shower before going to surf. She turned and went back to the bed, picking up the discarded note and reading it.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Donuts are sweet

And just for you

Breakfast. He was going to get her food. She smiled, the doubts slowly leaving her mind. If he was getting her donuts, it meant he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay. Before she let anything negative ruin this, she dressed and went to the kitchen, starting the coffee and waiting for her boys to return.

Kensi smiled at her internal choice of words. Her boys. Monty may live with Deeks, but that dog had always chosen Kensi over his owner when she was around, making Deeks huff and puff in mock indignation, but she had always known he liked it. And Deeks… well, they had always been each others. Partners, friends… more than friends. This strange in-between they were in right now was different, but when had they ever done anything the easy way?

As she sat on the couch, coffee in hand, her heart skipped a beat when she heard the key in the lock. She didn't have time to wonder why she was nervous when the door opened and her shaggy mutt and Monty walked in.

Deeks opened the door, smiling as the smell of coffee hit him, alerting him that Kensi was up. His eyes immediately found hers, sensing the nervousness from her but not commenting on it. Instead, he smiled, unhooking Monty from the leash and setting the sugary treats on the table.

"Good morning, Sunshine. Sleep good?" He already knew the answer to that, but he was trying to put her at ease.

"Uh, yeah, for the most part." Kensi got up off the couch and went to the kitchen, making Deeks a cup of coffee while he fed Monty. It was very domestic and they both knew it, felt it.

"So… donuts huh?" Kensi set his coffee down on the table as she sat, opening the box and seeing all of her favorites laid out before her. She quickly looked up, catching Deeks' eye.

"Deeks -"

"Just… just enjoy them, Kens." He didn't need to say anything else, his eyes talking for him. Their verbal communication may suck sometimes, but they had never had problems with their eyes talking for them.

Kensi smiled as she picked one up and took a bite. She let out a small moan of appreciation and blushed when she locked eyes with her partner once again. Instead of saying anything, she slid the box towards him, offering up the precious donuts that a year ago would have earned him a punch for even looking at.

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her when she pushed the box to him, wondering if there was a trick here.

"What is this? Kensi 'Sweet Tooth' Blye letting me have a donut? I'm not about to lose a finger or anything, am I?"

Instead of answering, Kensi grabbed for the box. Deeks saw the move before she made it and immediately put his hand out, grabbing onto her wrist.

"Uh uh, Kens. You offered, it would be rude of me not to take you up on it." He winked at her, his words having more than one meaning now. As he took one of the jelly filled donuts and bit into it, he let out a soft moan as well without realizing it.

"I see I'm not the only one immune to the wicked charms of sugar." She smiled as he just hmm'd in response.

No other words were said while they sat side by side, Kensi eating most of the treats but letting Deeks have another one. While she was finishing them up, he took both cups and refilled them before setting down again next to her.

"How are you doing this morning?" He watched as she swallowed the last bite, taking a sip of coffee before answering. She could tell by his face that more serious conversation was ahead and she braced herself, hoping the donuts weren't a consolation prize.

"I'm better than I thought I would be. Ribs hurt like hell, but they'll heal." She watched him for a second, throwing the questions back at him, because that's what this was about.

"How are you?" She sat back in her chair and watched him, sipping her coffee. She noticed he kept his eyes on hers, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts.

"I'm better than I thought I'd be." She didn't say anything to the mirroring words, just raised an eyebrow at him and tilted her head a little.

"Five hours ago I would have said not good. I uh… I had a lot of conflicting thoughts in my head. So five hours ago? I was convinced that you were right for all these years, that denying our 'thing' and skirting around it was all we were going to be able to do - having the job we do and the feelings we have… it just doesn't mix. Oil and water. And all it was going to do was ruin us in the end. Because without you, Kensi, I can't keep going. So risking that - losing you - that wasn't something I could handle."

His eyes had never left hers, and she put her cup on the table, leaning forward towards him.

"And now?" Her voice was quiet, hoping that his use of past tense meant what she thought it did. Instead of answering her, he glanced at his watch and stood up, putting his hand out to her.

"Come with me." Deeks smiled at her, seeing the confusion in her eyes but immediately put her hand in his. The trust that this showed, the way she didn't say anything or ask any questions, it made his heart soar and he twined their fingers together, walking out the door.

It was a short walk to the beach, the light of the day just barely showing on the horizon. They were quiet on the way, both of them lost in thought. Kensi wanted to, but she didn't question him when instead of sitting on the sand like they normally do, Deeks led her to the edge of the water. The water was fairly calm this morning, the waves gently crashing against the shore.

"This used to be the only constant good thing in my life." Deeks' voice was quiet as he watched the water and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"You know when I realized things had changed, like really changed? It was after Sidorov. I can remember coming here after every beating, every argument, every bad day, every op gone wrong and sometimes just the smell of the ocean was enough to clear my head. It used to help me process what was going on at home, the anger and threats and fists. I may never have understood it, but here, I could be me and not worry about anything. While I was in law school, some buddies and I had come down here to surf one morning and as we were leaving, I stopped a lady from getting robbed. She was about to get in her car and a guy ran up. When I realized what was happening, I ran over and actually tackled him to the ground while she called 911. That was the moment I knew I wanted to be more than a high-falutin attorney. That I could do more."

He smiled at the memory, thankful for every twist and turn and fork in the road that he came across, because every decision had led him to this - to her.

"It seems every major life decision was made here. The effect this place has on me… it's indescribable and it has never let me down. But after Sidorov - I don't know, it's like I couldn't get my mind to stop, no matter what I did. And for the first time that I can remember, this magical place failed me. I was lost and confused and just so damn tired, but no matter how many times I came here and tried to find that much needed peace, it alluded me."

Deeks stopped talking for a minute, closing his eyes and feeling the breeze on his face, squeezing Kensi's hand in the process. When he felt the return pressure from her, he opened his eyes again.

"Turns out, my safe haven… it's you, Kens. I didn't know that pushing you away meant the sun would disappear, too. The first ray of sunshine I saw was the night I let you in. You, Kensi, are my light in the darkness. You brought sanity back to me just by simply being there."

Kensi felt tears gathering in her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder. She wished she didn't, but she understood his words. Deeks was all she had thought about in that cave in Afghanistan after the initial Jack rejection had worn off. And even then, he had been there. During the torture, his words 'your smile, your laugh, everything'… well, it held so much more meaning now, because that's all she had thought about to make it through.

"We have had so much back and forth and uncertainty between us that sometimes it's like there's this huge black hole that's sucking the happiness away right after we get a chance to experience it. I kiss you, and then get captured. We make it through that, have an amazing night together, and you get shipped off around the world. You come home, we find that balance again, and I play right into Angelo's words about three hearts."

Deeks turned, making Kensi look at him instead of the ocean. As much as he enjoyed having her cuddle with him, he needed to look her in the eyes.

"You open up, I back away, and the vicious cycle begins again. It seems that every move forward we have, something comes in and makes us take eight steps back. And I can't do that anymore."

Kensi maintained eye contact, hoping he wasn't able to hear her heart hammering in her chest.

"Then don't." She was giving him a way out if that's what he wanted. Her words could be taken two ways. He could walk away, right now, and while it would hurt at first, they could figure out how to be just partners and friends. Or he could stay - dear God she wanted him to stay - and they could finally figure this thing out.

Deeks stared into her eyes, bringing his free hand up to cup her cheek.

"This is it for me, Kensi. We take this step, that's it. We make it work, or we lose everything. I can't tell you how much that scares the hell out of me, but I want you - I want us - to not have any regrets. I don't want there to be any questioning looks at each other and wonder if our words or actions were out of line. Second-guessing and doubts are done. We move forward together."

Kensi had a small smile on her face as she listened to him talk. As she let relief wash over her, she carefully considered her next move.

"About time you and I were on the same page." Deeks threw his head back and laughed as he brought Kensi into his arms, relishing the feeling of holding her like this. He knew then that they would be okay, they would do it right this time. They had started off slow this go around, and now it was time to take the next step.

The sun was just coming up over the horizon, basking them in sunlight as Deeks brought his lips to hers. The new day was beginning, just like they were. It didn't matter what happened or what was going on in their life. As long as the sun came up in the east and set in the west, anything that happened in between could be washed away with the tide. The promise of a new day, every day, would be the constant reminder that they could handle whatever life threw at them.

A few minutes later they made the walk back to the apartment just as they had arrived - hand in hand. Only this time there wasn't questions or doubts or insecurities. Finally, a new day had come that showed the promise of hope and love and finally… happiness.

AN - well, that's the last chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and leaving a review would make my day! Thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews, follows and favorites. You guys are absolutely amazing!