Hey everyone! Okay so my last story got way better reviews than I was expecting, so needless to say I'm pretty excited! This new story is more of a companion story than another chapter to the last one. I fully plan on turning "Fours POV on Al" into a series of one shots called "5 times Four was jealous". Everybody loves a good jealousy story right? ;) Anyways, back to this new one. I've had the ideas for it for a while and today I just decided to sit down and finish it! This is the scene after Tris is attacked by Peter, Al, and Drew in Fours POV. Please read and review!
I do not own the characters or dialogue of this story. It is just my take on the thoughts behind it.
It hurt, watching her hurt. My earlier jealousy completely dissipated as I looked down at Tris' broken body on my bed. All I felt now was hatred. Hatred for Peter, hatred for Drew, but most of all, hatred for Al. My unresolved jealousy aside, I never thought Al would hurt her. He claimed to like her and care for her! But in reality, he liked and cared for the small, weak Abnegation girl that would need him. His attraction to her was purely that. He wanted her to need him. What Al and everyone else would never fully understand is that Tris doesn't need someone to hold her hand and help her cross pathways. She needs someone who believes in her strength instead of nurturing her weakness'. She needs me. No, that's wrong. She doesn't need anyone. But I need her.
If there is anything I've learned since falling in love with her, it is that my need for her runs deeper than just attraction. I need her because she brings out the best part of me. Just looking at her makes me want to be a better person. Tris has made every part of initiation not just bearable, but exciting. The idea of getting to see her is the reason I get up in the morning. If that's not love then I don't know what is.
I admitted to myself that I love her already, the part I'm having trouble with is admitting it to her. I know that it would be unfair of me to tell her without letting her see the real me first. She doesn't know my past, or all of the things that I have hid for so long. Tris deserves to know who exactly it is that loves her. I imagine myself, sitting down with her over a plate of chocolate cake, looking into her eyes and telling her everything. It just doesn't seem right. That is not the way our budding relationship has worked so far. In the rare moments that I am able to convince myself that she feels something too, it's because of actions, not words. The dauntless are visual people, and from what I've seen, she is dauntless to the core. I need to show her. Complete vulnerability. My fear landscape.
She shifts in her sleep and my eyes snap up from her face to the wall, landing on the words I had put there almost 2 years ago, "Fear God Alone". I have nothing to fear. I will show her how I feel and never look back. Although, not at this very moment. Right now I have bigger problems. Tris is still asleep, and my hands are covered in blood. I need to take care of that before I try to help her. I walk as silently as possible to the sink and run them under cold water. I glance up, and look straight into Tris' eyes. She's awake.
"Your hands.." she croaks.
Of course, the girl was kidnapped and almost killed and she's more worried about a couple of split knuckles. I answer as calmly as I can, "My hands are none of your concern." I pick up an ice pack and lean over to slide it under her head. Her hand suddenly reaches up to my face and I freeze. She hesitates and then lightly touches her finger to my busted lip. I try to ignore the tingling feeling that is buzzing across my lips, "Tris, I'm all right." "Why were you there?" she asks as she drops her hand. The sudden cold where her hand was burns slightly, but I talk through it to answer her question, "I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream." I leave out the part about how I knew it was her from the second the scream left her lips, and that I ran faster than I even knew I could in order to get to her. "What did you do to them?" She asks, "I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago. Peter and Al ran. Drew claimed they were just trying to scare you. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say."
"He's in bad shape?"
"He'll live" I reply, though when I think about it, I'm not positive that that is the full truth. I can't find in me to care, but I don't want Tris to be surprised in the morning, with that in mind I add, "In what condition, I can't say".
"Good." she says back, fire in her voice. I crouch down and in a moment of complete stupidity, raise my hand to rest on her cheek. She doesn't flinch as I rub my thumb along her cheekbone, relishing in the fact that I'm getting to touch her. "I could report this." I say softly. "No, I don't want them to think I'm scared." Not surprising. "I figured you would say that."
"You think it would be a bad idea if I sat up?"
"I'll help you." I answer as kindly as I can. I put hand under one shoulder and use the other to support her head as she pushes herself up. She bites down on her lip, obviously trying not to seem weak. I don't want her to feel like she has to hide from me. "You can let yourself be in pain." I say, "It's just me here." Tears begin to stream down her face, but I don't comment on them, I know she's not looking for sympathy. "I suggest you rely on your transfer friends to protect you from now on," I say. While I think that Uriah, Marlene and Lynn are good friends for her to have, they won't be able to protect her in the dorms.
"I thought I was, but Al…." "He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation." I say softly, "He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason." I want to make sure she realizes that she is not the coward here. Al is. Even so..."The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real." I say. I don't like the idea of her having to fake weakness to stay safe, but I don't really see another option. "You think I have to pretend to be vulnerable?" she asks me. "Yes, I do" I answer. Selfishly, I take the ice pack from her and hold it against her head for her, it's the perfect excuse to touch her.
"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," I say as my mind formulates a plan, "but you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down." That will make Peter think she's no longer a threat, while simultaneously showing her transfer friends she is as weak as they want her to be.
"I don't think I can do that" she says emptily. "You have to" I demand. She looks up at me, "I don't think you get it…. They touched me." My whole body tightens. "Touched you" I repeat. I should have killed them, I shouldn't of taken Drew to the infirmary, I should have just thrown him into the chasm. I can't- "Not… in the way you're thinking. But almost." She interrupts my vicious thoughts. Almost? Almost means nothing. "What is it?" What is it? What it is is that I want to kill them. I want to make them suffer in every way I know how. But I can't. I need to calm down enough to at least answer her. "I don't want to say this, but I feel like it is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?"
For a second, her face changes into an expression I've seen in the mirror every day since I met her; longing. And then it hardens and she nods. I don't want her to think that I like the idea of her having to look weak, so after a second I say in my coldest voice, "But please, when you see an opportunity…" I reach up and lay my hand on her cheek, tilting her face to look at me, "Ruin them."
She laughs nervously, "You're a little scary, Four"
"Do me a favor and don't call me that" I say. I don't want her to know me as Four the instructor anymore. I want her, need her, to know me as an actual person. Tobias.
"What should I call you, then?" she asks.
But not yet, she can't know him yet. Not until she's sees who that person is. "Nothing." I take my hand away from her face, "yet."
Thanks for reading! Pretty please review! Constructive criticism appreciated, my main goal is always to improve. :)
P.S. Reviews kind of make my day so...