Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. If I had, this scene would have definitely played out in the series.

Warning: Slash, Merthur, non-explicit sex scene.

Arthur hated thunderstorms. Seriously, absolutely hated them.

Merlin gathered about this much about seven months into his new job as Arthur's manservant, when a particularly brutal and nasty storm overtook Camelot. The winds were raging outside, blowing the red flags with the golden dragons embedded on them into oblivion. The streets became completely flooded. Any servant or merchant with the unfortunate task of traveling outside was immediately drenched and chilled to the bone. Lightning flashed brilliantly and thunder crashed violently...

In short, it was complete and utter hell.

For a week.

And throughout the week, Merlin continued to perform his duties for the crowned prince, save for mucking the stables and gathering herbs (Arthur, for all of his prattiness, refused to let Merlin do anything that required going outside), and he watched as Arthur struggled to keep his composure.

Merlin noticed a change in Arthur. It was slight, and it seemed noticeable only to those who were extremely close to Arthur, or those around him all the time. Not that many people would really take note of the small changes in the prince's behavior, but even with only the seven months that he was in Arthur's service, Merlin was able to identify certain things different about his prince: Arthur's annoyingly superior and sarcastic attitude increased as he ordered Merlin around, his snappy and snarky remarks growing in frequency and, at times, intensity; when he wasn't voicing his displeasure at the obvious cancellation of the knights' training due to the grounds being flooded, he was practicing more vigorously than ever in his chambers, his sword and the sweat on his bare back and chest shining and glinting in the warm glow of the fire as he moved with ease; and Arthur became skittish.

Really skittish.

Merlin observed silently as Arthur became more and more distressed as the storm continued. More often than not, Merlin would catch Arthur nibbling on his thumbnail nervously, or pacing in his chambers with his hands in his hair and wringing his golden locks between his fingers, or tossing and turning in his bed as he struggled to sleep, resulting in Arthur's skin becoming pale and looking completely worn out, or the sudden appearance of tears in Arthur's bloodshot eyes, or Arthur flinching violently whenever lightning flashed or thunder crashed outside his window..

Merlin wanted to cry for the poor man.

On the third night, Merlin entered Arthur's chambers with a tray carrying an herbal tea and a sleeping draught, courtesy of Gaius. He found Arthur at his writing desk, his eyes closed and his fingers in his already tousled hair.

"Gaius sent this up," Merlin murmured, walking forward and gently placing the tray on the desk in front of Arthur. The prince opened his eyes and stared at Merlin, and the warlock's heart dropped; Arthur's eyes were shining and red from lack of sleep, dark circles and bags under his once vibrant, fierce orbs. He looked completely exhausted.

Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, but Arthur clearly wasn't in the mood for any of the usual banter or arguments, for all he said was, "Tell him I said thank you."

Merlin nodded and retired to his own bed, a tight feeling in his chest at having to leave his prince alone to his turmoil.

The next night, he came back with the tea and draught again, but this time, Arthur refused to take them.

"Didn't they help last night?" Merlin asked.

"No."

Merlin sighed and rubbed his temples. Arthur was staring into his fireplace, arms crossed and face blank of all emotion except for the lingering exhaustion. The glow of the flames danced across the once tanned skin of the prince, and Merlin couldn't help but see how the light caused shadows to appear on Arthur's face, making him look more and more like a ghoul than he already was.

Merlin didn't know what caused him to ask, but he couldn't take back the question once it left him.

"What did your previous manservant do to help in this situation?"

Arthur gave no indication that he even heard the question, but Merlin knew he did. For a moment, both of them were silent, the only noise in the chambers being the crackling of the flames. Then Arthur spoke in a clipped tone.

"We… We engaged in vigorous physical activity so that I would be so exhausted I fell asleep straight after."

"Physical activity? What, like swordplay?"

Arthur stiffened and then turned his head to look at his manservant, a baffled expression managing to grace his worn face. "You could say that."

Merlin almost missed the warm glow on Arthur's cheeks as the prince blushed and he quirked an eyebrow. When Arthur didn't elaborate further, Merlin huffed. "Well, you're going to have to be more specific. It's hardly any help when you're being vague."

Arthur suddenly scowled and the rapid change in the atmosphere around his prince confused Merlin greatly. "And what, I'm supposed to divulge all of my secrets to you?"

The sudden negative change of tone in the conversation caused something to flare inside Merlin and he glared at his prince. "What are you on about? That's not what I meant," Merlin snapped, frustration starting to brew in the pit of his stomach; really, he was just trying to help Arthur. Why did he have to be a prat like always?

"It sure sounded like it," Arthur snarled in a rapid, clear rage that made Merlin bristle with the injustice of it all. Who did Arthur think he was? Merlin had done nothing to be on the receiving end of his anger.

"Arthur, I'm only trying to help you!"

"No, you're prying into something that is none of your concern! That's what you're doing!" Arthur fired back, walking briskly forward and punctuating each word with a prod of his finger on Merlin's chest. "And I don't need your help, I never even asked for it!"

"Arthur, be reasonable, I wasn't trying to-"

"No! I won't let you help me!"

Merlin flushed with rage, and tried to retort, but the second he opened his mouth he was suddenly cut off by the prince's lips pressed against his, one arm wrapped around his waist tightly, and a hand entangled in his hair. Merlin gasped, his heart leaping to his throat, eyes wide, and struggled to break the grip that the prince had on him; however, Arthur took Merlin's gasp as an opportunity to shove his tongue down Merlin's throat and deepen the kiss, and Merlin was never a match for Arthur's strength.

It was a hard, desperate kiss, and it was at the exact moment (Merlin realized later) that the thunder started rumbling outside. Merlin grunted as Arthur's tongue licked at the roof of his mouth, and moved his head off to the side to get some air, but was quickly pursued by Arthur's attacking mouth once again. He couldn't escape the kiss, and he couldn't escape the grip Arthur had on him.

Eventually, Arthur must have become aware of exactly what he was doing, because he finally parted from Merlin, though his hold on the other man didn't falter. They were both breathing heavily, Merlin's eyes huge and Arthur's wild.

Arthur licked his lips (Merlin couldn't help but follow the movement) and sighed, lowering his eyes. "... This is what I did."

Merlin blinked in bewilderment.

What he…

Oh.

His heart thumped furiously and a strong heat spread across his cheeks and his ears and his neck as he finally understood. Now 'swordplay' made sense. Merlin gulped nervously as he noticed completely just how close Arthur was pressed against him, and the fact that the prince's grip on him had not loosened; if anything, he was in an even tighter hold than before. Merlin stared at the prince before him, who was now staring right back. Gone was the previous rage, and in its place remained a look of such desperation and fear.

Arthur hadn't been lying. This particular type of activity would certainly have proven to have been distracting to the young prince, blocking out everything else if only for a short while. Merlin was suddenly hit with the reminder that Arthur had done this before, taking advantage of his manservant to quench his fears for the night. And Merlin had never…

Well. He had never.

But it was the only thing he could do to help.

Arthur could only grunt in his shock as Merlin forcefully pushed him until he was slammed against the wall next to the fireplace, and inhale sharply when Merlin's mouth was on his once more, kissing Arthur with ferocity that rivaled that of Arthur's in their first kiss. The prince hesitated for a moment more, then melted into Merlin's embrace, their lips and tongue working furiously together. Arthur shoved a knee between his servant's thighs, causing a startled moan to escape Merlin.

The rain still fell outside, tapping insistently against the window, but it was ignored as the two men slowly traveled to the bed, still kissing as they went.

Now that his lips weren't locked in an assaulting, bruising grip with Arthur's own, Merlin found that kissing the prince was rather pleasant. Arthur's lips were warm and firm, yet there was an underlying gentle caress that the first kiss had lacked. And just the way Arthur's tongue moved inside his mouth, with such confidence and ease, made Merlin's shudder helplessly.

When the back of Merlin's knees hit the edge of Arthur's bed, the small jolt made Arthur remove his lips from Merlin's with a small, wet 'smack.' Merlin almost whimpered at the loss of contact, his cheeks tinged a light pink from Arthur's ministrations.

"Merlin," Arthur panted. "Listen to me. I don't want to take advantage of you like this or make you do anything you don't want to do. I don't want you to do this for me simply because you feel as though it's your obligation. So please, let me know right now if.. if this isn't what you want."

Merlin's head was spinning. He felt himself taking inhaling deeply as he struggled to catch his breath, and his tongue darted out to moisten his chapped nervously. Did he want this?

He couldn't deny that he had felt attraction towards Arthur, and he couldn't deny that he loved his prince, even with how Arthur usually acted towards him. Arthur was a real prat, especially at the beginning of their relationship (if one could call it that); however, Merlin saw something in Arthur blossom as he got to know him more and more the last few months, something completely beautiful and fragile that one rarely ever saw in a king.

Compassion. True honor. Respect. Love. All these things and more.

'There's something about you, Merlin.'

And there was something about Arthur that Merlin couldn't help but love.

If there was anyone that Merlin trusted, it would be Arthur.

But did he trust Arthur with this?

The mere thought of becoming involved in a strictly physical relationship with Arthur, serving only as a distraction for him, as an object that he would use as a release… it made something curl into a hot ball in his chest and tighten and left Merlin almost breathless. Could he stand being used, never being loved the way he desperately wanted from the golden-haired beauty above him?

Arthur was tense above him, his deep blue eyes staring into Merlin's own, trying to find the answer to his question without Merlin responding vocally. But it seemed he found nothing clear and Merlin could see Arthur was growing physically agitated; he was once again flinching and twitching as the storm raged outside.

Then Arthur sighed in what could only be defeat and made to remove himself away from Merlin, and then… Oh, then, Merlin just couldn't have that. One part of Merlin, the selfish part, knew he would never have a chance to be this close to the prince again, for Arthur would never again attempt to pursue him, even for the night's comfort. But the other part, the part that screamed for Merlin's attention, couldn't bear the thought of Arthur retreating to bed for another restless night, couldn't condemn the prince he loved so much to another terror-filled night with only the rain as his company, when Merlin could have done something to ease the prince's suffering.

He could be used. He would do this for Arthur tonight, and any other night that he needed him, if it helped the prince. He would deal with the heartache that would most certainly come later, and he would continue living his life in Arthur's presence like normal. There really wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Arthur.

He made his decision, and he quickly leaned forward, clutching the back of Arthur's neck as he pressed their lips together once more before Arthur could see the small tear slipping down his cheek.

xXx

Merlin ran a hand across his face wearily as he sighed.

Beside him Arthur slept, his pale face completely smoothed of all creases and worry-lines developed over the last few days. He breathed quietly and evenly, and his hair was lightly ruffled from where Merlin had soothed him to sleep.

It had been so much better than he had expected. Arthur, in a surprising act of softness, had gone slow, never pushing Merlin or forcing himself on him. He took care that Merlin was never in too much pain, and whatever inevitable pain was inflicted on him was quickly alleviated by Arthur. There was some discomfort, some fumbling, and some awkwardness from never having experienced a tryst before, but Merlin couldn't have thought of a better heaven than when he was enveloped in Arthur's arms.

The second time, when Merlin was better prepared for what was to come, was (if it was even possible) even better than the first. That time, Arthur let himself completely loose as he reached his physical needs, so that by the time they were both completely sated, Arthur was trembling with exhaustion. Merlin had pulled back the thick blanket of Arthur's bed and covered Arthur's naked form, quietly slipping in beside him. Arthur was half-asleep and probably had no sense of awareness of what he was doing, but Merlin's heart still skipped a beat when Arthur quickly snuggled into his side, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. Merlin silently stroked through Arthur's hair until the prince was fast asleep at last.

And when he woke, Merlin would not be here. He had taken care of Arthur for the night, and the prince would surely regret this come morning. So he couldn't be here. He would go to his chambers and come back and play the dutiful servant that was not in love with his prince.

He had to.

Merlin hesitated, but before he changed his mind or lost his nerve, he took one last chance of closeness before he left, and leaned over and kissed Arthur's temple, gently nudging Arthur's hairline with his nose in the process. And with a heavy heart, he moved to leave, slowly swinging his legs over the side.

Arthur groaned.

Merlin froze. It seemed that he had accidentally roused Arthur from his sleep. Merlin inwardly cursed himself as Arthur whispered, "M'rlin?"

Merlin fixed a small smile that felt more like a grimace on his face and turned back to the other man. "Yes, Arthur. Go back to sleep."

But Arthur only rolled over so that he was facing Merlin completely, groggily blinking at the man before him. "W're you goin'?"

"Back to Gaius' chambers, sire. You don't need me anymore. You should go back to sleep."

"C'mere."

Merlin's eyes widened. "Sire?"

"Stay 'ere. Y'don't have to go back. Stay with me."

"... Are you sure, Arthur? I don't have to, I can go-"

With a deep-throat growl, Arthur reached out and grabbed Merlin's arm, yanking him back on the bed with strength a sleep-deprived man should not be allowed to possess. Merlin landed with a startled yelp, and he stiffened when Arthur pulled the blanket over him and wrapped a strong arm around Merlin's torso. "A-Arthur mmph!"

Merlin felt as though his already strained eyes were going to bulge out of his skull when he felt Arthur's lips press against his in a short but heated kiss. Arthur moved away before Merlin had a chance to respond and pulled him closer.

"Stay 'ere for the nigh'," Arthur muttered, his eyes already sliding shut. "Please."

There was no way Merlin could refuse. He tentatively reached out a hand and gently laid it in a caress on Arthur's bicep. When the prince sighed, Merlin ventured further, placing an arm around Arthur as he edged closer, resting his chin on Arthur's head. Pleasant warmth filled him as Arthur nestled his face into the crook of Merlin's neck, and as he nuzzled his face into Arthur's hair, Merlin drifted into an easy sleep.

xXx

The next morning, Merlin woke up to Arthur's content face staring at him.

"You drool," Arthur said simply, his head resting on a hand propped up on his pillow.

Merlin sputtered, aghast. "I do not," he retorted, hastily wiping his mouth in his paranoia. There was no wetness. He glared at the prince, who chuckled lightly.

"No, I suppose you don't," Arthur muttered.

Merlin rolled his eyes before remembering that Arthur had duties that day and voiced his concerns.

"Oh, I'm taking the day off today." Arthur shrugged. "Father has been insisting that I find time to rest, and I believe I'm going to take this opportunity."

Merlin nodded his acknowledgement.

An awkward silence fell upon them, Merlin avoiding Arthur's gaze as he absentmindedly played with the hem of Arthur's bed cover. He heard the prince sigh.

"You regret last night." It wasn't a question, but a statement. Merlin's eyes flew back up to Arthur, and found the prince glancing down, his turn to avoid the other man's gaze. "I shouldn't have put you in that position. I shouldn't have allowed this to happen. I apologize, Merlin."

"Arthur-"

"I'll completely understand if you.. If you decide to resign from your position. I'll hold nothing against you."

"Arthur, listen-"

"You may return to Gaius' chambers and help him until I find you another position-"

"Listen to me, you complete utter dollophead."

Arthur gave a start and met Merlin's eyes once more, and instantly Merlin regretted raising his voice as he saw shame and guilt written all over Arthur's face.

"I don't want to resign," Merlin said, lowering his voice once more. Relief flitted across Arthur's expression for a brief moment. "And… I don't regret last night either."

If Arthur's sudden wide eyes told Merlin anything, it was that the prince was not expecting that answer.

Merlin swallowed hard. "I'd do anything for you, sire. Surely by now you must know that."

Arthur frowned deeply. "I told you that you needn't have done it if it made you uncomfortable or if you didn't want it."

"But I did want it," Merlin suddenly blurted out, a fierce blush spreading across his face and neck. He tried his best to ignore Arthur's huge eyes and shocked expression as he hurriedly continued. "Arthur… I care for you. More than I probably, no, definitely should. And I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you alone last night. Believe me when I say that though you startled me last night, I didn't do anything I wasn't willing to do."

Arthur opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, trying to find the words to respond in his shock.

"But I… You… God." The young prince shut his slightly bloodshot eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose. Merlin blinked at the sudden heat behind his eyes, determined not to let his emotional distress show.

"If you need to… use me again… Just know that you won't have anything to worry about. If you wish for me to just be a distraction, I will be. If you want me to leave right after, I will. If you want me to look the other way and pretend I don't feel what I feel… I can do that too. I'd do anything for you, Arthur."

Throughout Merlin's speech, Arthur continued to stare at him with that same baffled, lost, wide-eyed expression. His jaw was slack, then clenched. When Merlin finished, he let out a shaky exhale through his nostrils.

"You…" Arthur muttered lowly. "You… You completely useless, annoying, irritating dolt."

Merlin jaw dropped slightly at the not so unexpected insult. "What-!"

Arthur's mouth cut him off.

xXx

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

They lay together afterwards, Merlin's head resting on Arthur's shoulder and tucked into Arthur's neck, the prince lazily running his fingers through soft, black locks. Knowing what he was asking, Merlin sighed, a finger tracing Arthur's collarbone.

"With your father as king, my feelings could get me killed. Even if that wasn't the case, it could never be. You're the crowned prince, the heir to your father's throne. A queen and your own heir is expected of you, something I can never provide… I thought I made my peace with that."

Arthur paused in his movement for a moment before starting again. "It doesn't have to be exactly like that, Merlin."

Merlin scoffed lightly.

"I'm serious," Arthur continued. "It's pretty clear by now that we both feel for each other. And it's even more clear that we are extremely compatible" - Merlin blushed - "and we can be together. Eventually, it may be pressured on me to find a queen and have an heir, but that time may not be for many years. Why not enjoy our time together until then? And who knows? By the time I'm king, there may be certain changes made."

"Arthur, you're insane and sleep-deprived."

Arthur huffed. "Maybe," he said, glancing down at the man in his arms. And in a solemn tone, he finished, "I will figure it out. All I know is that I don't ever want to lose you."

Warmth erupted in Merlin's chest at those words and he smiled.

A comfortable silence settled over the two until Merlin was struck with an unrelated question.

"Arthur?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to answer but… What happened that made you hate storms so much?"

For a moment, Arthur was silent. Merlin patiently waited, slightly anxious that he had touched a sore subject that the prince never wanted to discuss. He was beginning to think Arthur would never reply when he did.

"Leon wasn't always the head knight," Arthur began.

Merlin's eyes flitted up to Arthur, calmly waiting for him to continue.

"Back when I was a boy, there was a knight by another name. Sir Bruin. He was an excellent swordsman, he was able to best all the other knights in a challenge, he was a strategic fighter, and under his teaching the some of our best knights emerged, such as Leon.

"However, his methods did involve certain… punishments, you could call them. If he felt that you weren't working hard enough or if you kept failing at what he asked, he'd make you run laps around the castle perimeter at a full sprint, or make you be the practice dummy for the next practice while the others attacked with the utmost brutality. He even got Father's permission to send knights to the stocks if he felt they needed to be punished, as a 'way of learning humility.'

"One day, when I was a boy, I woke up with a horrible illness. Yet I went to training, because Father refused to let the prince allow himself to fall prey to a simple cold. It was my worst training session, and I ended up vomiting on Bruin's boots.

Merlin flinched.

"Yes… so I was sent to the stocks, illness and all, and was told that I was going to be let out in an hour. I was really let off easy. But within the hour, it began raining. Then it began pouring. Then the thunder began. People were running in the market, saving their merchandise and running indoors as I waited to be let out. I saw Bruin and shouted for him to let me out. He took one look at me, stared right into my eyes so that I knew he saw me, and then turned around and walked straight into the castle."

Here Arthur paused, and Merlin heard him swallow thickly.

"I'd… I'd never been so scared in my entire life. I was completely trapped with no way out, with a storm raging around me similar to what's happening outside right now. Hours and hours I screamed myself hoarse for someone to let me out, to free my from my torment. But not even I could hear myself over the wind and the thunder. Even the lightning seemed loud. It was… it was just horrible.

"Eventually, when the storm finally settled down some and people were allowed outside again, Leon ran straight for me, my father in tow. And I was finally, finally let go. It was probably the last time my father would allow me to cry in his presence."

Merlin blinked back the tears in his eyes as Arthur's voice wavered with emotion at recounting his tale, and instantly regretted making Arthur relive that terrifying day. "I'm so sorry."

"Whatever for?"

Merlin shook his head and exhaled heavily. "What happened to Sir Bruin?"

Arthur fingers brushed lightly against Merlin's forehead. The warlock closed his eyes at the sensation. "Fortunately, Father took my word over his, and at the time he was so enraged by what he had done that he sought to execute him. He finally settled on stripping him of his knighthood and banishing him from the kingdom when I refused to let that happen. And now… I know it sounds horrible, but I sort of wish I did sometimes."

Merlin lifted his head to look at his prince. "Arthur-"

"I know," Arthur muttered, staring straight ahead. "It's just… At the time, I just wanted to show him who the bigger man was. That I wouldn't lower myself down to his level, and show that I could spare his life but ruin it at the same time by allowing him to be banished. But in a way he also ruined mine. I am a crowned prince of Camelot, said to be one of the greatest warriors in all the land, and I'm afraid of loud noises and light."

"Arthur, you went through a traumatic event as a child," Merlin cut in, staring at Arthur's eyes even as they continued to avoid his. "For that, you cannot be blamed. None of this was your fault. By letting Bruin live, you proved yourself to be an honorable man, one worthy of the throne and the kingdom you are to gain in the future. You did the right thing. Never doubt that."

Arthur had met his gaze again by now, listening intently and watching Merlin's face, his blue eyes searching for any sign of doubt in his friend's expression. When he found none, he gave the slightest nod. "... Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin smiled and, before he could stop himself, leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Arthur's lips, watching through hooded eyes as the prince's lids shut lazily from the kiss. Pulling away almost reluctantly, Merlin dropped his eyes as a light blush tainted his pale complexion. "So… what now?"

Arthur huffed out an exhale as his hand slid down to Merlin's shoulder. "Let's not worry about the future now, Merlin. Let's just… enjoy our time together today, and deal with situations as they come."

Though slightly anxious for what was to become of them in the future, Merlin grinned in satisfaction, his head plopping back down onto Arthur's shoulder.

"Oi, just because I have the day off today doesn't mean you do! You can clean up this bed, we made quite a mess," Arthur chided lightly.

The pillow thrown at his face was quickly discarded as Arthur laughed loudly.