Because Octavian's life is secretly crummy and no one ever knew.

Octavian was sitting by the little Tiber and watching the water. He didn't do stuff like this much, go off by himself to be quiet and think He usually did all his thinking while sacrificing stuffed animals to the gods. He saw so many things in his auguries. He saw so many things. People laughed at him, they didn't believe his sutffing readings were real. The readings looked like nothing to them, but they were everything to him. He saw so many beautiful things. And so much chaos. It drove him mad. He liked knowing, and he hated knowing at the same time. Some of the things he saw really scared him, shook him up and gave him nightmares so bad that he could hardly stand to close his eyes at night. Some of the things he saw though gave him hope. Peace of mind, permission to sleep without nightmares if only for a few hours.

No one understood that. No one. They didn't understand why he was so tense sometimes. So insistent on his way. He saw things. This was the way it was supposed to be. This is what the gods told him. It drove him crazy, their ideas of peace, No! The only way for peace would be to do what the gods told him! Weren't you supposed to trust them? That's what he'd always been told, why did people get mad at him for being obedient? Why did no one like him because he did his job? Because he'd been given a power that half the time he didn't even want.

Then there were the Greeks. That whole mess constantly played out in his mind. Every Greek ever in existence hated him because he'd followed the orders playing out in his readings. Someone, something had sent him those messages, Jupiter probably, had told him that the Greeks had to be destroyed. Why did no one believe him? Why was everyone so mean. Siding with the Greeks. Saving both camps instead of just one. Lifting up Percy Jackson as a hero above all heroes. Why couldn't he ever be the hero? He'd tried to save his camp. He'd tried to do what was right... Why couldn't they understand? Accept him and like him and make him a hero. Why did no one ever remember his birthday and throw a surprise party or ask him to hang out with them? People were afraid of him. Afraid of his voice, of his power. They followed his orders but out of fear not respect, not because they trusted or liked him. And when Reyna showed them a new solution, anything other than what cruel Octavian said, they'd follow her instead. He'd really wanted to be Praetor. To earn their respect and show them he really could be a leader, and that he was more than just convincing words and teddy bear stuffing.

"I am more, right?" He asked no one in particular. No one would answer him. No one would take him seriously if he said he wanted friends and for people to like him. Why would they? For years heroes had been respected because even though they sometimes did terrible things, they had had a terrible life and they needed to be cut some slack. Why did no one cut him slack? Why was he charged for all his mistakes when people like Percy Jackson got away with everything because he'd grown up in a poor family with a mean step dad? Octavian's parents didn't even WANT him. They were scared by his power and had sent him to Camp Jupiter as soon as they'd found out. He'd been four, too little to do anything except learn the bitter and terrible path of an Augur from the one demigod he'd looked up to. Another Augur, a brother of sorts, his family, his friends. Someone who knew what having the power was like. Someone who had died during a war games with young Octavian watching. That had done it. His power was stronger than ever. His anger was fueled. He turned even more bitter, stayed away from the prospect of friends for fear of losing another. Grew to hate people and everything. Part of him still wanted to make friends and get along with people. Part of him wanted to be a hero, not an Augur. Why couldn't he be the Hero? Why did he have to see things? Why couldn't anyone want him? Why couldn't anyone care about him? Why?

The Seven of the Prophecy, they all belonged. They were heroes. Somehow, somehow they all fit. But He didn't fit anywhere and he didn't know why. He sighed, stood up and gave the little Tiber one last glance.

He needed to do this more. He had a lot of things to figure out. Maybe he needed to change. Maybe he needed to stop listening to the gods through the readings. But who would he be if he didn't listen to that? What would happen? Would people even believe he'd changed? Would anything happen? Would his world fall apart? What would he do if he didn't know what to do every second of the day? He was an Augur. Maybe that's all he'd ever be. The friendless Augur. He spit into the the little Tiber and walked away, sighing.

He could talk to Reyna about it. Ask her what he should do. He could lie on his bed in the barracks and think about things at people. Or he could go sacrifice a stuffed animal and keep acting like nothing mattered at all. Not himself, not anyone, just being an Augur. Just being the Augur. The friendless Augur that no one would ever like and there was nothing he could do about it.

Okay who ever decides to hate Octavian now I will kill. I feel bad for him. I made all of this up and I may or may not get into my beautiful OTP which is Octachel (Actually, I will so, forget may or may not) and this is not a one shot and I love him and he's obviously my profile pictures so...

If you flame this story or verbally hurt my Octavian you will die. :D Seriously though... I didn't even think about half of this stuff. He could really be suffering. What if he changes? Would you like him if you thought that he was just following orders like he was taught to instead of thinking for himself a little and doing what most people probably would want him to do?

BTW I will be pubbing a Ethan Nakamura story as soon as I write it.