Title: That's a Dude, Dude

Author: Evil_Little_Dog

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.

Summary: Steve finds the internet confusing.

Notes: Prompt from Comment_Fic on LJ.

Tony glanced over Steve's shoulder, almost surprised. "You're using the internet. Should I alert the presses?"

"It has its uses," Steve said, trying to ignore him.

Ignoring Tony Stark was like trying to ignore a mosquito buzzing around your ear. He'd go on and on, growing more annoying no matter how you swatted at him. "So, what are you looking at?" He swayed back and forth, no matter how Steve tried to block the screen. "Is that a dating site? Captain America has to use a dating site? Oh, that's. I'm not sure what to say in response, really. There are so many words I could use!"

Steve rolled his eyes, slowly hunting and pecking in an answer on the keyboard.

"Uh, Cap?" Tony was actually leaning his chin on Steve's shoulder. Steve wondered if he could punch Iron Man. All right, Miss Potts might get upset if he did, but the man had absolutely no sense of personal space. "That lady there? That's a dude."

Steve put his hand across Tony's face and pushed him back. "That is not a man. Do you see the photograph?"

Undeterred, Tony moved around to Steve's other side, tapping the computer monitor. "Yeah, I've seen that photograph on a billboard across town. And in the back of magazines. I think we might've used her to advertise something for Stark Enterprises. I mean, nice touch, but still."

"Why would someone else use this face?"

"It's a nice face?"

Steve had to agree to that, but. "Why wouldn't this woman be on the internet?"

"Looking for a date? No way, Cap, sorry." Tony kicked the rolling chair sideways, sending Steve out of the way. He began typing faster than Steve could follow, his smile broadening. "There, I'm tracing the original IP address for the poster of this photograph, and oh, look, that person happens to have a camera link!"

"Is this legal?" Steve asked, partly horrified, partly fascinated.

"Probably not," Tony said, "but I can still have JARVIS get control of that camera and - oh, look." He stepped away from the computer monitor with a flourish of his hand. "This is Miss Kitty 1509."

A young man with pimples typed on the monitor, his peachfuzz reminding Steve all too much of his own shortcomings at that age. "Why would a boy pretend to be a young woman?"

The corner of Tony's mouth slewed sideways. "Could be gay, could identify as female, could just be pulling a prank. There're lots of reasons." He clapped Steve's shoulder. "Anyway, isn't Natasha trying to set you up? You should let her do that. It's a lot safer."

Steve shook his head at the image of the young man in front of him. "Obviously."

~end~