idk why im so obsessed with babies and pregnancies, but here you go, have another one

Katniss was late.

Well, her period was the one that was late. Not that it had a specific schedule to begin with, but Katniss was pretty sure she hadn't seen her little friend in over two months. And that wasn't supposed to happen.

As she explained this to Madge Undersee, quietly of course because the mayor was right down the hall in his office, Madge scowled.

"I mean, you did just fight twenty-two other kids in an arena, it could be stress. My mom gets stressed out all the time, and she told me she misses periods a lot, too."

Katniss glanced out of Madge's window, looking down at the streets of District 12. The only person she could really talk about these kinds of things to was Madge. Katniss didn't have any other friends other than Gale Hawthorne or her little sister Prim, and she knew neither of them were even an option.

"Plus, didn't yours come late anyways? Because you were malnourished around the time you were supposed to get it, didn't you get your period when you were fifteen?"

"Yeah," Katniss said, pulling her knees up and resting her chin against her arms. "But it's been pretty regular since."

"Your mother's a healer. Why don't you ask her? I'm a girl, but I'm no healer."

Katniss shrugged, the real reason she couldn't go to her mother nagging at her. She couldn't tell her mother. She didn't want to tell anyone, but someone had to know what was going on.

Madge didn't say anything else which made Katniss feel a little better. At least she wasn't pressuring her to tell her anything.

"Madge," Katniss said after a few silent moments. Madge had been braiding her hair. As she reached for a pink ribbon to secure it, Katniss whispered, "I think I'm pregnant."

The pink ribbon remained in its spot on the dresser and Madge turned to Katniss with her eyes wide. They really weren't that good of friends, but Madge had given Katniss the pin that she used as her district token and she even came to say goodbye to her on Reaping Day. They were slowly growing closer together. There wasn't any forced conversation between them, and if Katniss wanted to brood, Madge gladly let her.

She was probably the only friend Katniss had in the entire district besides Gale. Or maybe Peeta, but they weren't really friends. Katniss wasn't exactly sure what to call someone who fought by her side in the arena. An ally, maybe. But allies didn't really have sex with each other, did they?

"What?"

Katniss didn't want to repeat herself. She knew Madge heard.

"Pregnant? Katniss!"

"Shh!" Katniss hissed. "Your father will hear."

"Holy shit," Madge whispered.

"Yeah," Katniss whispered. She thought telling someone would make her feel better, but so far, it wasn't working.

"Do you know for sure? Have you taken a test?"

"A test?" Katniss asked, frowning. She had seen plenty of women come into her house, looking for answers, and the only way she knew that her mother could tell was through an examination and that was the absolute last thing Katniss wanted.

"Yes, a test. You can buy them at the market. Probably not at the Hob."

"I've never heard of tests before."

"You should buy one. You need to make sure. I could go with you if you'd like."

Katniss was taken aback at her calm voice and her suggestion. Katniss couldn't bear to go the market by herself and buy a pregnancy test. She didn't even know what a pregnancy test was, let alone how to find one. Katniss swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay."

"So is it…Gale's?"

Katniss squinted at Madge and she felt her face redden. She had a feeling someone would mention him.

"No," Katniss finally answered. Madge didn't ask about anyone else because she probably knew by then who it was.

Peeta.

None of it was supposed to happen. The sex, the possible baby, any of it. It was a slip up on both of their parts. Peeta was supposed to be hurt about the lies she told in the arena, and Katniss was supposed to avoid him completely. That's how she knew everything was going to play out as soon as he said, "One more time? For the audience?"

But then the nightmares started. Katniss couldn't sleep, couldn't really eat, either. They were haunting her, awake or asleep. The only time she found comfort was in Peeta's arms and he wasn't there.

Until he wanted her, too. Katniss would quietly find herself inside his house and he would pull her into his arms and they would sleep. When she woke up screaming, he could comfort her with gentle words and his arms. Gentle words turned to gentle kisses and gentle kisses turned to gentle touches.

They never talked about the fact that Katniss didn't love him. She cared for him, she couldn't lie about that, but she didn't love him like he loved her. And he seemed okay with that.

Suddenly, Madge's bedroom door opened and her father poked his head in. Katniss always liked Mayor Undersee.

"Hey, Katniss. Are you staying for dinner?" he asked.

Katniss stood up and lifted her game bag onto her shoulder. She stopped by to drop off some strawberries she gathered that morning and ended up staying a lot longer than planned. She didn't really expect she was going to tell Madge she thought she was pregnant. Katniss usually liked to keep her business to herself, but Madge seemed so understanding that Katniss brought her missing period up without even really thinking about it.

"No, thank you. I've got to head home."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Katniss," Madge said as if they planned anything for tomorrow. Katniss only nodded and slipped by Madge's father.

"Goodbye," she said to the both of them before she quietly walked down the stairs and out of the house.

Her next stop was the bakery, which she should have been by hours ago. The squirrels in her bag weren't exactly fresh, but she knew the baker wouldn't mind.

Katniss entered through the front door, knowing Mrs. Mellark was in the kitchen at this time of night and she didn't want to get Peeta's father in trouble. But when she stepped inside, it wasn't Mr. Mellark who was in the front. It was Peeta.

"Hey," he said as she approached. Thinking about him and the conversation she just had with Madge made her feel sick. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and she offered him a small smile.

"Hi," she replied. She lifted her game bag up onto the counter, knowing Peeta wouldn't mind.

"Are those the squirrels my dad's been asking about all day?" Peeta teased, leaning his hands against the counter.

"Yep," Katniss answered. Peeta took them from her and set them behind the counter. Then he straightened and frowned at her.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" Katniss asked, wondering if he somehow knew. No, there was no possible way he knew. Even she wasn't sure if she was really pregnant or not.

"You look…sick. Or upset."

"No," Katniss said quickly. "No, I'm fine." She grabbed her bag off of the counter and tried to smile to convince him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I have to go. I'll see you later," Katniss said. She left before he could ask any more questions because she wasn't quite sure she could lie to him.

That night when Katniss woke up from a nightmare, she rolled over and curled into a ball. Her body was telling her to go to Peeta and crawl into his arms. She wanted to lay her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat to confirm he was still alive, but she couldn't bring herself to walk three houses down.

She didn't fall back asleep, but when she found her way downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast, she saw her mother and Peeta were already there. The smell of the fresh bread made Katniss's stomach growl, but the smell of whatever her mother was preparing caused her stomach roll. She held her breath as she crossed the kitchen to grab a piece of bread.

"Good morning," Peeta said. He was slicing the bread carefully and as Katniss got closer he held out a piece for her. She took it and bit into it. She chewed slowly, one arm wrapped around her stomach.

Someone knocked on the door and Katniss's mother was the first to reach it.

"Oh, good morning Ms. Everdeen."

Katniss recognized Madge's voice immediately and she set the bread back down on the table. Peeta gave her a curious look as she passed by him, but she ignored it.

"Hey, Katniss," Madge said as Katniss stepped in front of her mother. She didn't really think Madge was going to take her to get a test or whatever those things were.

"Hi," Katniss said slowly. She was feeling sick again, just like the day before in the bakery.

"Are you ready to go?"

Katniss blinked at her as her mother stepped away from the door and moved back into the kitchen to finish breakfast. Madge leaned forward and lowered her voice.

"If you want one, right now is the best time to get it because the market isn't busy this time of day."

Katniss swallowed and took a second to think. She'd rather be sure than be terrified to death until she started showing or maybe never showing at all.

"Fine," Katniss whispered.

"Hi, Madge."

Katniss jumped at the sound of Peeta's voice and she felt her face redden terribly.

"I'll be down in a second. I'll go change."

She ducked underneath Peeta's arm and went to her room to change out of her pajamas. By the time she made it back down, Peeta was gone and she was relieved.

"Where are you going?" Katniss's mother asked.

"We're just going to the go on a walk around the district," Madge lied smoothly.

Prim choose that moment to sleepily step down the stairs.

"'Bye," Katniss said. She stepped outside and shut the door behind her.

"How are you doing?" Madge asked. Her blue eyes were kind and Katniss suddenly felt a huge sense of relief. She felt right to tell Madge, even if they weren't that great of friends. She was kind and understanding. Much like Peeta, but Katniss pushed that realization away.

"Okay," Katniss said, shrugging. She squinted into the sun for an excuse not to talk as they walked down the dirt road.

When they reached the market, a place Katniss rarely ever visited because the Hob was more comforting to her, Madge put her hand on Katniss's arm and told her to wait outside.

"Why?" Katniss asked.

"Because I'm sure the Mayor's daughter buying a pregnancy test would be far less entertaining than the Girl on Fire buying one."

Katniss nodded. She didn't even think about gossip spreading. What if it found its way to Peeta or even Gale? She wouldn't be surprised if it did, so she willingly waited outside.

Madge emerged five minutes later with something inside a paper bag.

"You can take it at my house."

Katniss stared at the little stick, frowning.

"Madge," she called, opening the bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

She couldn't quite wrap her head around the white stick that determined pregnancy. She felt insanely stupid.

"You just…pee on this end," Madge said, flipping the stick around so the skinnier side was up. "And a little cross means yes and a minus means no."

"These are really weird," Katniss said.

"You should see the ones in the Capitol. These aren't nearly as advanced as those."

Katniss shut herself in the bathroom again and her hands shook as she held the stick. Her breathing was shallow and she realized she could actually be pregnant. There could be a baby inside of her. Peeta's baby.

The realness of everything suddenly hit her hard. Her baby would be reaped the moment they turned twelve. Capitol citizens would be climbing over each other just to get a glimpse at Katniss and Peeta's baby in the arena. They would have to fight for their lives just like their parents had to do. There would be no escaping it. Snow would love it even more than the Capitol citizens. He would be so happy that he could take back one thing Katniss did in the arena that wasn't even supposed to spark a rebellion. He would crush whatever tiny bit of a rebellion there was underneath his pristine boot by sending Katniss's child into the Games. Katniss couldn't deal with that. She would kill herself before she ever let that happen.

Just a few months ago, she'd been telling Gale she never wanted to have kids and here she was, probably pregnant.

But she was working herself up over a possibility. Maybe she wasn't pregnant. Maybe Madge had been right when she pointed out that it took Katniss long enough to get her period that it wasn't such a big deal if it disappeared for a bit.

Katniss shook her head and took the test. She needed to know before she started throwing out all of those possibilities.

I can't be pregnant, she told herself. I'm probably scared over nothing.

She waited for the allotted time and lifted the stick so she could see.

Staring back at her was a little cross.

The Victory Tour approached a lot faster than Katniss had anticipated. Before she knew it, her prep team was making comments on how she let her leg hair grow back and how her eyebrows were just tragic. Octavia even mentioned the weight Katniss gained, telling her she looked a lot healthier than she did when they first saw her.

She wanted to snap that it was because she was nearly starving when they met her and now she was nearly four months pregnant. But she didn't, mostly because no one but Madge knew she was pregnant. She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone, not even the baby's father. Not even her own mother.

By the time Katniss stepped out of her house, the cameras had arrived and so had Peeta. She had to pretend like she wasn't trying to avoid him anymore, and as she tipped her head up for a kiss, she felt sick. After she found out, she practically cut off all communication with Peeta. She couldn't stand looking at him, or being kissed by him and knowing she was carrying his baby inside of her. Their relationship became that of what Katniss expected in the first place. Peeta acted nice, but distant, and Katniss wasn't anything more. She was losing him, but she didn't know how to grab him and keep him with her.

The first night on the train, Katniss woke up from a nightmare, her night clothes clinging to her from sweat. She took a shower, not caring how early in the morning it was, and she left her room before the sun even rose. Peeta was in the main room, sitting on the couch with an untouched mug placed on the table in front of him. Katniss immediately turned to leave, but his voice stopped her.

"Katniss, wait. I want to talk to you."

It took everything in her to not bolt straight out of the room. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to talk to anybody. The forced dinner talk was all she could handle at the moment. But she owed him that much. Actually, she owed him much, much more, so she turned and took the seat next to him anyways.

He ran a hand through his messy, sleepy hair and sighed. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. It wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

Katniss blinked at him in surprise. He was apologizing to her? For something they had ignored since they stepped off that train?

"I'm sorry, too," she answered quickly, though she wasn't quite sure what for. For pretending to love him? For completely shutting him out after they started a sexual relationship? For not telling him about the baby inside of her? She didn't know.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about," he said, and she wanted to laugh. "You were keeping us alive. But I don't want to go on like this, ignoring each other sometimes and having sex other times. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just beings friends."

Katniss felt herself flushing at the mention of sex, but the word didn't even seem to bother Peeta one bit.

I'm having your baby, she wanted to say, but instead she just smiled and nodded. "Okay."

Katniss decided to tell Haymitch a week after they arrived back to District 12. She didn't know why the thought came over her, or why she would tell him instead of her mother or Peeta, but it comforted her. Haymitch was smart, even if he was drunk and rude most of the time. He still had knowledge and he was more like her than she initially thought.

Katniss walked into Haymitch's house, choosing to ignore the smell. Haymitch was passed out at his kitchen table, a bottle in one hand and his knife in another. Maybe she came at a bad time, but she wanted to tell him before she lost every ounce of courage she had left.

"Haymitch," Katniss said, shaking his shoulder. He didn't move. "Get up!" she snapped. When he didn't move, she grabbed a pot from the stove, filled it up with water and poured it straight on him. Before he could even gasp, she had the window open and her leg sitting out in case he decided to take his anger out on her.

Haymitch woke up sputtering and slashing his knife. Katniss was smart to plan her escape.

"Hey!" she called, getting his attention. He stopped slashing and glared at her, reminding her of an angry Buttercup after his monthly bath.

"What the hell was that for?"

"I need to talk to you," Katniss said. Haymitch grumbled something she couldn't hear before he took his shirt off to reveal an equally dirty undershirt. He wiped himself down with the dry part and dropped heavily into his seat.

"What?" he snapped angrily.

Katniss opened her mouth, but before she could get anything out, his front door opened.

"Oh," Peeta said as he stepped inside. Katniss and Peeta hadn't really spoken since they got back, even if they agreed to be friends. "You're both here. Good. I need to talk to the both of you."

Katniss suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. He knows, she thought. But when Peeta opened his mouth, Katniss definitely wouldn't have ever imagined the words that came out of it.

"I'm moving to the Capitol."

"What?" Katniss and Haymitch asked in unison.

"You're moving to the Capitol?" Katniss asked, her voice coming out weak and panicked. She bit her lip hard to stop the panic bubbling up in her chest.

"Yes, but let me explain before you both freak out. I've been offered a job, and I honestly wouldn't have accepted it if the request didn't come from President Snow himself. There's a new bakery opening and he wants me to run it."

There was something he wasn't telling them, but all three of them knew the house was completely bugged.

"Peeta, you can't-" Katniss started, but he cut her off.

"I already did. There's nothing really left for me here," he said.

Tell him, Katniss thought. Tell him now and he'll stay. But she couldn't bring the words to her lips. She couldn't tell him.

"When I move there, I will no longer have to mentor the Games."

"You didn't even start," Katniss snapped, suddenly upset. He was supposed to be there with her when they had to mentor those kids. And he was leaving her for some stupid bakery in the Capitol.

"There's even a studio above the bakery so if I want to paint I can. And I can live up there, too."

"When are you leaving?" Haymitch asked.

"Tomorrow."

Katniss could barely contain her anger and annoyance. So he was leaving her in 12 by herself, and she had to mentor with Haymitch by herself.

"That's bullshit," Katniss spat angrily. Before Peeta or even Haymitch could say anything, she dropped out of the window and stomped across the lawn to her house.

Prim greeted her as she entered, but she brushed it off and climbed the stairs to her room. She ignored any attempts of contact, and in the morning, when Peeta's train left, she only buried herself further into her covers.