A/N: My first official fanfiction. Be nice, and be sure to give me ideas for funny reactions and leisure time mandatory activities. Hope you enjoy it! :)

Rose Tyler had seen many, many, many odd sights over the years. Between traveling with both of her Doctors and solo in both universes, she'd believed there wasn't much that could surprise her any more.

She should've learned years ago that the surprises never really ended when it came to the Doctor.

"What the Hell are you wearing? You look like a dopey maths professor."

"Oh, like you're any better, Dumbo."

"OI! Stay out of this, pretty boy!"

"You're just jealous of my amazing bowtie."

"Yeah, right."

"Bowties are cool! Plus, a tempermental redheaded companion can't use it to drag you along like a dog and lock you in some bloke's car door-"

"OI! Who're you callin' tempermental?"

The floppy-haired Doctor winced and smiled sheepishly, turning towards the fuming redhead he obviously hadn't seen standing right behind him.

"Oh, Pond! Lovely to see you, did you do something different with your hair-?"

"Could we focus, please? We still don't know where we are, how we got here, or even who half the people here are, so I suggest we-"

"Oi, who died and put you in charge?"

This comment set off a whole new argument, which didn't help Rose's headache in the least. She rubbed her temples and attempted to remember how she got into this mess.

She'd woken up in the flat she shared with her human Doctor and had gone to get the mail... And there'd been an odd green envelope addressed to her, with the words 'Brace Yourself' where the return address should've been. Then there'd been a flash of strangely familiar gold light, and she'd woken up on a strange couch to the sound of her Leather Doctor, her Pinstriped Doctor, and another man she didn't recognize with floppy brown hair who also called himself the Doctor arguing...

Well, more like throwing insults back and forth.

Several other people were located on love seats, couches, and armchairs around the (rather spacious) room she found herself in. Most of them she knew- Sarah Jane, for example, along with Mickey, Martha, Donna, and Jack, to name a few- but besides the new new new Doctor, there were four women and a man that she couldn't place.

She lowered her hands to her lap, looking down when she heard the crinkling of paper. It was the envelope, the green one that she assumed had sent her here somehow. She opened it to see if it could shed some light on the current circumstances.

Inside was a short letter.

It read;

Rose,

Sorry about any confusion I caused by bringing everyone here. Turn on the television on the far wall, would you? Save me a lot of trouble, that would. I'm sure everyone else is too busy arguing and moaning about their heads hurting to actually remember what got them here in the first place, and I'd do it myself, but my brother got himself stuck in 19th Century France (again), so I can't. Just turn it on, the rest is all automated, and by the time that's over I should be back (unless he really mucked things up this time) and able to answer most of your questions. If not, well, like I said, everything is automatic.

Hope to see you sooner than later,

Lark

Rose looked up. There was indeed a large television situated on an elderly wooden cabinet by the opposite wall. The only problem was getting there. The couches and chairs were clustered around it in a crooked semi-circle. Each one was a different style, but all of them were either dark brown or TARDIS blue. Various people were grouped on and around them, most of them still arguing in the clear middle patch of carpet.

Somehow she managed to weave her way around the three Doctors, the redhead called Pond, and Jack without getting hit in the face by an over-exaggerated gesture. The television, she was pleased to find, functioned much like the one her mum'd had when they'd still lived in the Powell Estate.

The screen flickered, then cleared to show a dark haired of about sixteen adjusting her camera. Rose quickly retreated back to her place on a dark brown couch that reminded her of the one in the TARDIS library.

"I assume you're all yelling too loud to hear me, so I'll start off by saying SHUT IT!"

The room quieted almost immediately as everyone turned to look at the screen. The girl looked vaguely familiar... Something in her dark eyes whispered age despite her relatively young appearance. She smiled, adding to Rose's certainty that she knew the girl.

"Much better. Now I'm sure you all have at least half a dozen questions, but don't shout them out right now. A, I can't hear you, B, I'll probably answer whatever it is anyway, and C, I don't want to give D- the Doctor an excuse to ramble on for three and a half hours. Yes, Ten, I'm looking at you." A slight pause. "Well, no, I'm not actually, this is a recording. I'm looking at a camera. And a tiny reflection of myself. Anyway, you get the point... And now I'm doing it."

The girl looked slightly annoyed with herself, grumbling something about her dad and shutting up.

"Alright, FAQ time. Basically, you're in a specially designed ship floating in the Vortex- my specially designed ship, in fact. Specifically, it's made out of a special material called Fourium, which can only be obtained safely once every hundred years from the Fourth Wall itself. The Fourth Wall, in case you don't know, is a supposedly imaginary wall that separates the actors on a stage from the audience... Or the different universes from each other. Both examples are correct and useful as a visual. Of course, one is metaphorical and the other actually there... But I digress, the point is that since it's made of the same material, my ship can pass through the Fourth Wall with few to no complications, with help from the Infinite Improbibility Drive. Yes, it's real. Her name is the TARDITUS. Welcome to an alternate universe- my home universe."

She paused briefly to answer someone offscreen. "No, no, it's the blue one!"

"Right, well I can't tell you my first or my last name for fear of really, really screwing up both of our universes, but you can call me by my middle name- Larkin, or Lark. And yes, I do know the alternate versions of most, if not all of you. In fact, most of you I grew up calling my aunts and uncles, and two of you-" she paused, smirking "-are alternate versions of my Mum and Dad."

She let that sink in for a moment, then yelled offscreen again. "YES, I'M REALLY SURE." A pause. "It's my ship, of course I know what I'm talking about!"

She turned back to the camera. "Sorry, my brother's an idiot. Where were we? AH, yes, well, you're probably wondering why you're here. So, I got bored one day, and I was taking a look around this brilliant little website I found about three universes down and four to the left called Netflix, when I found a program called Doctor Who, featuring you guys as the main characters! Almost completely accurate to your experiences, according to the BBW. So I got it into my head that you would want to see how you were represented, and BANG! I brought you all here.

"Now, I know that most of you have no clue who some of the people in this room are, so you guys do introductions. I'll be back to tell you how all of this is going to work in a minute, now if you'll excuse me, my brother needs help repairing the invisibility boosters. Last time, he mixed up two wires and made it so anyone who said a certain word was sent to 1985... Let me tell you- not nearly as fun as it sounds."

She vanished for a moment, then reappeared. "Oh, and Doctors? We're going to call you Nine, Ten and Eleven to avoid both confusion and the otherwise inevitable fight over who gets to be called the Doctor."

It was a lot of information to take in at once, and Rose felt her headache intensifying rather than receding. Several people seemed to sympathize, since nobody spoke for nearly two minutes after the girl left. Finally, Sarah Jane stood up out of her comfortable-looking armchair.

"Alright, let's do it this way- I'll start, then we'll go around in a circle until everyone's gone. Feel free to give a brief general background about yourself, but be careful of spoilers. I'm Sarah Jane Smith, former companion to the Doctor."

Everyone retreated back to their original positions, seeming satisfied with the seating chart for the time being. Nine and Ten had a brief glaring contest over her head as to who would sit next to her. Ten looked away first, and Nine smirked slightly and looked about ready to jeer him when Rose rolled her eyes and shifted so there was enough room for them on either side of her. Grudgingly, they sat down, avoiding looking at each other.

"Mickey Smith, Tin Dog and Rose's best mate."

"Martha S-er, Jones. Former companion of the Doctor."

"Captain Jack Harkness. Companion of the Doctor and former Time Agent."

"Gwen Cooper. I work at Torchwood."

"Donna Noble, companion of the Doctor."

"I'm the Doctor, incarnation Nine."

"Rose Tyler, f-companion of the Doctor and Mickey's best mate."

"Hi, I'm the Tenth incarnation of the Doctor! And before you ask about the different-faces-thing, it's a long story, share it with you later."

"The Eleventh Doctor. Bowties are cool."

"Dr. River Song, archaeologist."

"Amelia Pond, companion of the Doctor, and this is my husband Rory."

"Rory Williams. What she said."

"Er, Clara Oswald, companion of the Doctor."

There was a swishing noise from the left, and everyone turned to see Lark, the girl from the video, walk into the room from a previously nonexistant door. She smiled.

"Good, looks like you're about finished with introductions. Shall we watch, then?"

A/N: A quick timeline of where everyone's from, time-wise.

Sarah Jane- end of 5

Mickey- same

Martha- same

Jack- after Boom town

Gwen- after the pilot episode of Torchwood

Donna- mid-4, after Pompeii

Nine- after Boom town

Rose- end of 5

Ten- after Love&Monsters

Eleven- after A Town Called Mercy

River- after the Impossible Astronaut

Amy- after Let's Kill Hitler

Rory- same

Clara- After Day of the Doctor, before events of Time of the Doctor

Please note that flamers and their flames will be fed to my pet Jagrafess, Fluffy.

EDIT:: I can't believe I forgot Clara! D: As for the IID, check out Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams- if you like Doctor Who, you'll love those books!