Title: Killing Seamus Harper
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil
Spoilers: Nope, nada!
Archive: Just ask.
Rating: PG 13...I think!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters on here, except the assassin, but when you read the end you'll see he doesn't belong to me anymore! *grin*

Feedback much appreciated. :-)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I look at the flexi my new employer sent me. My next job, or target, as you could say. The picture on the front is this scrawny kid, with a dataport. Easy job. Seamus Zelazny Harper, from Earth. I wonder why the Drago-Katsof would pay such a large amount to get this kid taken out of the picture, but it isn't my place to wonder. Only kill.

And, as luck would have it, I heard this Harper character was on a supply run on Alestra. Again, I wonder, why they're on such a backwater planet for a supply run. Unless they want drugs, weapons, or sex. Alestra was probably the most dangerous planet you could find yourself on. Well, besides Earth.

Sighing, I take my ship off of auto pilot and enter the nearest slipstream coordinates. I figured, I'd be done in 3 days tops.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So Tyr, tell me, why are we doing a supply run on Alestra?" Harper ran to catch up with his much taller friend. 'Okay, maybe "friend" is more than this relationship. Companion is better. Acquaintance will also work.'

"We're not here for regular supplies." Tyr turned sharply and entered a shop.

Harper realized he was no longer walking beside Tyr, and ran back to find him. Seeing him talking to a weasel looking guy in a run down shop, he ducked his head into the door. Eyes bulging, he looked at all the massive weaponry hanging on the walls.

'So THIS is what we're here for.' Harper walked up to the counter.

"We're here to buy weapons?" He stated the obvious.

"No, we're here to have a tea party with this greasy man behind the bar. OF COURSE we're here to buy weapons." Tyr rolled his eyes at Harper, who in turn, stuck his tongue out at Tyr.

The greasy weasel man reached behind him and picked up a weapon that was probably as big as Tyr's arm. No, it was bigger.

"Now this, is a FT 18000, capable of either stunning, or killing. Very good range on this baby." The guy held the weapon up with pride.

Tyr reached over and took the weapon, giving it a once over. Looking back at the man, he said, "How much?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Assassin's POV^

I watched as my target entered the shop with the Neitzschean. So, he hangs around a Neit. Wonderful. The Dragons couldn't mention this little detail before I took the job?!

Well, no matter, I'll kill him if I have to.

I stepped up to the door, pretending to look around at the weapons hanging on the wall. In my hand I held a super virus, very much capable of killing that little Earthling. I choose this because, if accidently injected into me (which would NEVER happen of course!), it would only make me itch everywhere. This was about the only time I was happy about having a multi-race background.

The big Neit took the gun from the shop owner, looking over it. Perfect. His attention was diverted. It was time to make my move. I steadied the needle, ready to plunge it into the scrawny kid.

Taking a step foward, I watched with giant eyes as the gun the Neit was holding powered up, pointing straight at me. Having no time to react, the gun went off, shooting me in the crotch. I fell, screaming, and felt the needle poke into my leg.

Oh, this was absolutely great!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tyr glared at the shop owner who wanted a major amount for the gun.

"I will not pay this much for a simple gun. 800 thrones, and that's my final offer!" Tyr clenched his hand.

"Uh Tyr..." Harper watched as Tyr's hand tightened unconsciously over the power button.

"Shut up boy, I'm talking!" Tyr growled in annoyance at Harper.

"But Tyr-"

"QUIET!" Tyr's hand clenched even more, making the gun power up. Before he could do anything to stop it, it went off.

*POW*

*THUD*

Harper watched as the flaming ball hit another customer in the crotch.

'OW! That's gotta hurt!'

"Oops." Tyr stated, raising his eyebrows.

"You just shot a customer!" The owner grabbed a first aid kit, and dashed over to the downed customer.

"I didn't mean to!" Tyr couldn't believe he had just shot a guy. Accidently too.

Harper walked over to the moaning man on the floor, who was beginning to scratch himself like there was no tomorrow.

"You didn't kill him, only stunned him. He'll be in major pain for a while though!" The owner declared.

"That's good. Um, we'll just be on our way." Tyr grabbed Harper and pulled him out of the shop.

"Tyr.....you just shot a guy. In the crotch I might add." Harper snickered.

"Yes, I know that little man. That's why I'm making a hasty retreat."

"No problem here man."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Assassin's POV^

I woke up in a dirty hospital, with roaches and other unidentifiable things crawling on the walls. There was a terrible pain in my crotch area and my skin felt like it was on fire. I just wanted a brillow pad to scratch everywhere.

I was thankful they had me doped up now. Then I remembered.....the target. I didn't kill him. Of course, if I don't kill him, the Dragons will kill ME.

And me being me, I love myself and will choose myself over any stinking mudfoot.

Groaning, I sat up on the bed. Or table. Whatever I was lying on. Grabbing my gun, I stormed out of the hospital, intent on finding Seamus Z Harper, and ending his life for once.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So big guy, where are we heading now?" Harper trudged along after Tyr. They had been walking all day trying to find a decent weapons dealer. As decent as you could get here anyway.

"I have a few contacts I will talk to." Tyr looked around, and spotted a man reading a flexi on the sidewalk. He looked vaguely familiar, but Tyr couldn't see all of his face. 'Oh well, I don't have time anyway.' Tyr thought, and continued walking. Spotting a bar he had been to before, Tyr walked in with a small grin on his face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Assassin POV^

I watched as the two entered the bar. Pocketing the flexi and scratching my torso, I started walking towards the bar. I reached down towards the wicked knife I kept in my belt. A crowded bar, a little stabbing, no one would notice until it was too late.

Walking in the door, the first thing I noticed was this place was LOUD. And there were more Neitzscheans in here then I thought were on the whole planet. The important thing in here, would be to keep a low profile. Very low. I scratched again, and settled myself down at the bar, waiting for my opportunity.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harper followed Tyr into the bar, and stopped. This place was full of Neits. Everywhere he looked, there was a stinking Uber!

"Harper, if you don't want to be noticed, just follow me and keep your head down." Tyr muttered under his breath.

And Harper did just that. He knew, if worst came to worst, he couldn't make it out of here alive. That, and he didn't think he could run down three flights of stairs to get out in time. The front door of the bar was just a flight of stairs, that lead to the bar. Running down stairs with 50 Neits on your back wasn't easy. Not easy at all.

Tyr walked over to a particularly large guy with a scar that ran completely down his left cheek.

"Anasazi! Long time no see!" The guy yelled.

"Daron, how've you been?" Tyr smiled.

"Oh, the usual, drug running and killing mudfoots. Speaking of, you get yourself a new slave?" Daron pointed towards Harper.

At this Harper bristled. He was no ones slave, and he would prove it.

"I'm not his fucking slave!" Harper growled.

"Well, you should teach the short one there some manners." Daron laughed.

"Actually, he is not my slave. I'm traveling with him to buy weapons." Tyr had never believed in taking slaves anyway. Why have someone else do something you could do yourself? He was not inferior in any way, he was capable of taking care of himself.

"Really? Huh, that's not the Anasazi I remember."

"Then you must remember wrong." Tyr remarked softly.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Daron's voice rose in volumes. The rest of the bar quieted and looked toward the two newcomers.

"I am simply stating something. If you cannot figure out what I am calling you, then you are inferior as well."

Harper gulped. With Tyr doing his macho thing, they were quickly cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Daron stood, and splashed his drink into Tyr's face. Snarling, Tyr lunged at the other man, throwing him into some other people at the bar. They pushed Daron back, and his face went straight to Tyr's fist. The other bar patrions saw this, and pounced on Tyr and Harper.

Harper yelped as someone punched him in the stomach. Turning, he started fighting and making his way to the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

^Assassin POV^

Watching as the big Neit talked to a fat guy sitting at the bar, I became bored. Maybe I should go slit the runts throat and be done with it. It'd be a hell of a lot easier than just sitting and waiting.

I diverted my attention back to my target and his friend just in time to see the fat guy throw his drink in the big one's face. This soon started an all out bar fight. PERFECT! Just what I needed, now I can kill the kid, and most definitely not be noticed. My luck was looking up.

Taking out my knife, I dodged flying Neitzscheans and objects and made my way over to the kid. Standing behind him, I raised my knife to stab him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harper had finally made his way over to the far wall, beside a massive glass window. Only a few more steps and he'd be beside the door.

"Harper, DUCK!" Tyr yelled, and bodily threw another guy over Harper's head.

The guy sailed, and flew into another man standing behind Harper, both flying out of the window and falling three stories.

Harper stood back up and ran for the door while everyone else was distracted with flying fists and glass, with Tyr right behind him.

Making their way out, they ran down the stairs and out into the open.

Harper glanced onto the sidewalk, and saw the two men who fell out of the window. They both looked very......flat.

"Come on, let's get out of here before they've realized we're no longer in the bar."

Tyr ran, with Harper not far behind.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

^Assassin POV^

Again, I wake up in extreme pain, in the same hospital. I shook my head trying to remember just what happened.

I had my knife ready to stab that little brat, when something barreled into me. We went flying....out the window.

Great. How fun. I took flying lessons.

I sighed. It couldn't possibly get much worst than this. My right arm was now in a cast, and so was my ankle. I had gauss going all the way around my forehead, and various bandaids on several spots of my body. And I was still itching. Especially under the cast.

And that little bastard still wasn't dead! What was it with this kid? Was he protected by the Divine or something? No, he probably just has extremely good luck.

And his luck is about to run out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Tyr, who are we looking for in a parade?" Harper stood by the street and watched several large animals walk by. One, a stuphos, looked like an old animal from Earth. An elephant. But, there were big differences. A stuphos had giant feet, about 6 foot in diameter, and claws on it's front feet. And it didn't have a trunk, instead, it had a hairy snout. Very ugly animal, but they were pretty strong.

Also in the parade were large bird looking animals that Harper had never seen before. Their beak was probably 4 foot long, and they stood on short stubby legs. These birds were covered in giant brightly colorered drapes, and followed the stuphos's.

Men and women led the parade, some sitting on stuphos's, some walking beside the birds. This was probably the best thing that the people of Alestra could come up with. It was better than nothing though.

"I'm looking for a little snot who works in parades. Keep your eyes out for him, he's usually sitting on those massive animals." Tyr looked from stuphos to stuphos, trying to find one in particular.

"And how am I supposed to know what he looks like?"

"He's usually surrounded by women."

"Women? Oh. Okay." Harper smiled. Women he could look for.

"Ah, there he is." Tyr walked into the parade, and jumped onto the stirrups of a large stuphos. Harper shook his head. No way was he getting on that animal.

Looked like he didn't have to though, Tyr was currently pulling the guy off the animal by his hair. Several women who were also sitting on it pouted, their play thing taken away.

"Now, I want to know where my money is." Tyr growled at the sqeaky guy.

"Tyr! My favorite Neitzschean! How happy I am to see you. About your money, um, I kinda lost it. BUT, I'll get it back. I promise! Just don't break my legs again, okay?" The guy rambled on.

'Again? Tyr's been a busy boy.' Harper thought.

"I have an idea. You find me some weapons, and I'll forget about that little debt. Deal?" Tyr shook the man, putting the fear of god into him.

"Yeah! Sure! That'll work."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Assassin POV^

I limped out of the hospital looking around for that little annoyance. Okay, big annoyance. My gun arm was now disabled, and my foot was aching like hell.

Spotting a parade, I figured I'd see what was going on. And who else do I see but none other than Seamus Zelazny Harper.

Pulling out my other gun, I walked beside one of the giant animals in the parade. Hiding behind it's leg, I aimed at Harper.

Feeling something on my foot, I looked down to see one of the mice that probably followed me from the hospital. Annoyed, I kicked it into the street. In front of the stuphos.

Who would figure an animal that big was scared of a stupid measly mouse?!

I jumped back as it reared up, and came down. One of it's feet stomped on good foot, the one that wasn't in a cast. I dropped my gun and hopped around on my bad foot, which caused it to hurt worst. Tripping, I fell and landed on my gun.

Which went off and shot that animal in the ass. The animal leaned forward, and got ready to kick with it's back legs. Guess where I was laying?

By it's back legs.

I felt the feet slam into my chest, and I blacked out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harper sighed as he watched Tyr and the sleazy dude barter over weapons. He decided to just sit back and watch the parade.

One of the stuphos's suddenly yelled, and reared back, slamming his foot on a poor parade watcher. Harper winced as the guy started hopping up and down screaming, on a foot which was in a cast.

The guy probably then realized he was hopping up and down on a broken foot and fell on his gun. The gun went off and shot the same stuphos.

Harper winced again as he watched the guy fly about 300 feet, after being kicked. Whoever that guy was, it wasn't his day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Assassin POV^

It just wasn't my day. I woke up in the hospital.....again.

There was definitely something up with that kid. I can't get near him without getting hurt! At this rate, I'll be crippled before my next target.

I noticed both of my legs now in casts, a fresh cast on my arm, and my chest and torso was wrapped up. I could feel a few of my ribs, and they felt broken. I now had more scractches and bumbs on me than I've had during the war!

Hobbling out of bed, again, I grabbed my gun. I was going to finish this once and for all!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So, we finally got the weapons!" Harper smiled. He was absolutely ready to get off this god forsaken planet.

"Yes. Now, help me load them, before we get into any more trouble." Tyr grunted and picked up another crate.

Harper just smiled, and gulped down the rest of his sparky. He absentmindedly threw the can behind him, not caring where it went.

"HEY! SEAMUS HARPER!"

Harper turned around and looked at the guy who was yelling at him. The guy had both his legs in a cast, a cast on his arm, and lots of bandages in various places. He looked rough.

"Yeah, you! I'm gonna kill your sorry little ass once and for all!" The guy pulled out a gun, and stalked towards Harper.

Not seeing where he was hobbling, he stepped on the sparky can, and his foot flew out from under him. He landed awkardly on his head, knocked out.

"What was that all about?" Tyr poked his head out of the Maru.

"Um, that guy was about to kill me, I think." Harper walked up to the unconscious man, kicking the gun away.

"Hey, this is the guy you shot at that store!" Harper exclaimed.

"Yeah, and this is the same guy who flew out of that window at the bar."

"And, he was the one trampled by that stuphos!" Harper's eyes bulged. This guy had been trying to kill him the whole time he was on Alestra!

"He's been trying to kill you, little man." Tyr chuckled. "Apparently, luck was on your side for once!"

"Yeah. What are we gonna do with him?" Harper asked. He sure wasn't gonna let this guy run loose.

"I have an idea." Tyr smiled evily.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

^Would-Be Assassin POV^

I woke up, yet again, in pain. Looking around expecting to see the hospital, I was suprised to see a bedroom.

Feeling coming back, I realized I was tied to a bed. Naked. I still had the casts and bandages....but I was naked!

"Ah, my little man, you're awake!" A large......or humongous woman walked in. And it wasn't a woman.....it was some kind of green alien!

"What am I doing here?" I gulped.

"Oh, Tyr Anasazi sold you to me for 500 thrones. You're my love slave now. You'll never escape, I have at least 300 guards around here." The green alien smiled, and unrobed.

I yelled. And then.....I fainted. My last thought was, I felt sorry for the next assassin who tried to kill one, Seamus Z Harper.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harper grunted and wiped sweat from his brow. He was helping Tyr load the weapons onto Andromeda.

"So, how was the run?" Dylan walked into the Maru.

Tyr chuckled, and Harper smiled. "Man have we got a story to tell you!"


END!