A/N: I was inspired by a work entitled "sex on the hawk" by nassel on Tumblr. The art can be found on my profile under commemorations, and on DeviantART and it really inspired me to write a crackfic to the highest degree. It is also the coverwork for this story, so yeah. I saw this work and wondered "Why didn't they just use Sasuke'e Susano'o? Or his Snake that he hypnotized and stole from Orochimaru? Why a hawk? Can he even summon hawks?" So yeah, enjoy this crack. Please.

RATED T+ for slight sexual situations and language.

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interrupted

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because none of Sasuke's summons really liked him all that much anyways

His eyes met hers for what seemed like the thousandth time in the span of hours they had been fighting. His face was covered in scratches, his Sharingan gone from his right eye. His left eye was closed, covering his Rinnegan, but he looked beautiful all the same. His lips parted in the promise of total relaxation, the ability to finally be free of his burdens. His eyes met hers gently.

She blinked and met his gaze, rubbing her lips together slowly. Her arm burned from her wounds, ribs still sore from being impaled by Madara's sword. But, she continued to stare at him. She didn't know where Naruto and Kakashi had wondered off to, nor did she care. Not when a disheveled Sasuke was stood in front of her, shirt half open to reveal toned muscles, lips pouted in a ravishing way. Oh no, the only thing that was on her mind presently, actively, was him.

With two strides from his long legs, he was in front of her, lips pressed against hers in a panting breath. She kissed him back and her fingers wound into his thick, dark locks, kneading his scalp. He moaned against her lips breathlessly, his fingers forming hand signs.

He wanted to get them out of here as quickly as possible. He was bursting at the seams with anticipation.

Sadly, he hadn't enough chakra or eye power at that to summon the Susano'o. His Rinnegan throbbed, and he knew that if he used it, he would only end up overworking it and injuring himself further. The same could be said for his Sharingan. But, he did have enough chakra to perform a summon or two.

His lips left Sakura's for a second as there was a puff of smoke in front of them, a large purple snake bending his head towards Sasuke. Sakura's eyes widened and she swallowed. Sasuke's arm went around her, and he began walking towards the large reptile.

"S-Sasuke-kun..?"

"Shh." He said softly, hotly, and helped her up onto the midsection of the snake. The snake looked at Sasuke, tongue hissing outwards.

"Yesss, Sassssukee-sssan?" It hissed. Sasuke huffed and jumped up onto the body of the snake, standing in front of Sakura, who had seated herself gently on the skin. She held her arm, charging a small amount of chakra into her palm to heal it up a bit.

"Manda." Sasuke addressed the snake, and seated himself in a crouch next to Sakura.

"We're going home. To Konaha." Sakura's eyes met his and her eyes softened, filling with tears. She nodded, and the Snake hissed once more.

"Yesss." He said, and then they were moving, the midsection of the snake moving the least as it slivered across the debris and floor. Sasuke's eyes met Sakura's once more, and he leaned forward to kiss her hard, hands gripping her hips. She mewled against his lips, winding her arms around him. He slowly worked her out of her torn shirt and tossed it behind him, not caring whether it landed on Manda or the ground. Sakura's fingers traveled down his chest and she pulled open his shirt, pushing her palms against his warm muscles. He growled against her lips, trailing his tongue down her neck.

"S-Sasuke-kun.." She whispered, and he pulled her up into his lap. Her legs wound around him, hands still roaming every crevice of his torso. He pressed hot kisses down her neck and shoulder, and then back up to her lips. She gripped his ass, pulling his hips flush against hers. He groaned.

They're quiet back there, Manda thought to himself. He expected silence from Sasuke, but the girl? He would have thought she would be talking, or crying, laughing, something. He hoped they hadn't passed out, they did look exhausted. Perhaps he should check and make sure they hadn't fallen off? Continuing in the direction of Konaha, he lifted his head, and turned around to look onto his back.

The sight before him made him hiss loudly and stop in a skidding halt.

Oh hell no.

At the jolting stop, Sasuke growled and swung around to meet the Snake's eyes with a glare.

"What the hell?" He spat, and gripped Sakura in his lap, holding her to his chest. Manda opened his large mouth, and then closed it again. No, this was not happening. Not here. Not now.

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"You are not about to have sex on my back!" The snake screeched, and Sakura yelped, covering her ears. Her eyes widened, and a blush spread over Sasuke's cheeks as Sakura flushed red.

"I did not let Orochimaru-sama die for this shit, you dirty little boy!" He scolded, and Sasuke's mouth flapped open, still in shock. Sakura, very embarrassed, hid her face in Sasuke's chest. Were they really going to? She blushed deeper. She truly was. They were going to. Finally, Sasuke recovered, and shot the large snake a death glare.

"I ordered you to take us to Konaha!" He commanded harshly, and Manda's eyes popped.

"Then wait to rump her til we get there!" He yelled at Sasuke, "I am not some damned place to fuck!" Sasuke was at loss for words once more. Sakura shivered in his lap, and he hugged her closer to him, his dark gaze on Manda.

"Don't order me around." He gritted his teeth, and Manda snorted, shaking his head.

"I'm not taking you horny kids anywhere." He lifted his head, nose pointed towards the sky. Sasuke growled, and immediately, the snake was gone from under them in a puff of smoke. Sasuke braced the blow, and they rolled into a crouch. He huffed out, quite embarrassed, and thought for a second. Sakura blushed and wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lip.

"Ah.. Sasuke-kun? If you want I can summon Katsuyu to take us-"

"No", he cut her off gently, refusing to meet her gaze, "you've used up too much chakra already."

In an instant, his fingers were forming signs once more, a large hawk was perched in front of him. Sakura's gaze widened. Where did he learn to summon all of these animals? She gulped and stood up, as Sasuke put his hands on his hips. The hawk leaned down to meet Sasuke's eyes and bowed it's head.

"Sasuke-san. Long time no summon." It said in a soft voice. Sakura assumed it was a female hawk. Sasuke nodded, his mouth a grim line.

"Take us to Konaha." The hawk bowed its head once more and extended a wing, to allow them to climb on.

"Yes, Sasuke-san." It said. Sasuke helped Sakura onto the bird's back and then got on. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders as the hawk lifted into the air, wings beating on either side of them. Sasuke turned towards Sakura, and they kneeled down. Once more, his lips were on hers, and she buried her fingers in his locks. His hands ran over the mesh below her pink chest bindings, lips moving down her neck and past her breasts. She mewled and threw her head back as his lips traveled to her ribs, kissing the mesh clad area.

It was truly quite the euphoria, Sasuke's warm lips on her skin, the breeze blowing through her short, pink locks. The sun slowly setting in the distance, Sasuke's own dark locks blowing forward to frame his handsome face. She still couldn't believe it was Sasuke. She ran her hands down his back to grasp his waist, her lips parting in a moan.

"S-Sasuke-kun.." She murmured and he gently laid her down on the hawks back. He kneeled over her, moving until he was between her legs. Her hand moved up to cup his cheek, and he held it gently, lips moving to kiss the cool skin. He lowered his head towards hers and captured her mouth in another kiss. She wound her arms around him and his hand strayed to cup her breast, pushing up the material under his fingers. She blushed and gripped his neck tighter.

Soon enough, he was sat up between her legs, hands moving her to her side, wriggling her out of her dark pants. She held a hand to her head to keep her blowing hair out of her face. They looked at each other through heavy lidded, lustful gazes. His lips parted, as he panted. His other hand moved up to stroke the side of her breast, fingers pulling her pants down her thighs. She breathed heavily.

"Sasuke-san, where would you like me to land-" The hawk started in a loud voice, head turning towards the two on her back. When she did, she let out the hawk equivalent of a loud, girly scream.

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"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THAT ON MY BACK, YOUNG MAN!"

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Sasuke's eyes widened once more. The hawk went down, nose diving towards the ground. Sasuke flew against Sakura, holding her once more against him.

Within seconds, they were being shoo'ed off of the hawk's back by her wing.

"Have you no manners?" She demanded, her large eyes boring into Sasuke's, who was scowling. Sakura was pressed against his chest, blushing deep red once more. Before he could receive a scolding from the hawk, he released the jutsu, and the large bird was gone. Sakura whimpered against his side, and Sasuke sighed.

He was already cursing Orochimaru's crappy sanin snake and his own hawk.

"..Sakura?"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"C-Could you.. "

Giggle.

Hand signs.

"Already on it, Sasuke-kun. And don't worry, Katsuyu likes friendly people."

"Aa."

minutes later

Screech.

"SAKURA-SAN, DO NOT MAKE ME TELL TSUNADE-SAMA ABOUT THIS!"

((perhaps they should have asked Naruto to summon his toad))

A/N: Yaay sorry crappy crack. I had to though. It's helping my writer's block owo. We all know Pervy-Sage's Toad would totally let them do it on his back loool.