A/N: WARNING! HERE THERE BE PORN. There, I warned you.

"Just so you know, the only reason I called you in here is because I'm desperate."

Wander blinked, staring at Peepers as the commander unlocked the final door leading to Hater's bedroom. "I'm still not entirely sure why you called me... Or how, but that's another matter entirely. Is something wrong with Hater?"

Peepers hesitated for a moment. "You... You should probably see for yourself." He finally answered as he opened the door.

A sweet smell suddenly assaulted Wander's senses, making him feel a bit dizzy. It was heavy in the air, and familiar in a strange way.

"Lord Hater, sir?"

A mass of blankets on the bed shifted, and the smell became stronger. "I told you not to come in here!"

"I realize that, sir, but I've brought someone that I think can help-"

A sudden bolt of green energy shot out from beneath the blanket, Peepers having to jump to avoid getting his feet shocked. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CONTACT PHILIESTROS! I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!"

"I didn't! I brought-!"

Another bolt shot out. "I DON'T CARE! TAKE WHOEVER IT IS AND GET OUT!" More shifting. "I'll just wait this stupid thing out. This... this fever can't last much longer, right?"

Wander's eyes widened in realization.

The smell.

The fever.

It could only mean one thing.

The nomad grabbed Peepers by the arm, dragging him out of the room.

"Peepers, I need you to leave us alone for a little while."

"What? Why?" His eye narrowed. "You're not gonna try anything weird, are you?"

"That depends on what you consider weird. Look, he's more likely to respond to what I have to say if it's in private. Okay?"

The commander looked at him with doubt in his eye, but he backed away. "Fine. But there better not be any funny business in there."

Wander rose his hand in a three-finger salute. "Scout's honor." He promised, deciding that the monocular man didn't need to know that he had never been a scout.

With a sigh, the eyeball alien shut the door, hoping against hope that Wander knew what he was doing.

Once the door was closed, Wander took a deep breath, walking over to the bed and climbing on.

"Hater?" He asked gently, nudging the lump on the bed. "You in there, buddy?"

The lump shifted wildly, as if surprised. "W-Wander?!" Hater shouted, his voice muffled by the blanket. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm the one who Peepers called, Hatey. Can you come out, please?"

"No! Go away!"

Wander sighed, moving back and finding the edge of the blanket, ducking underneath it. "Fine, then I'll just have to come in."

The overlord scooted back, trying to keep as far away from the nomad as possible. "Get out of here!"

"Hater, I'm fairly sure I know what's wrong with you, but I need you to let me see you. Please?"

Still the other alien didn't move out from under the blanket. "I... I can't... Wander, j-just go! Get out!" He hesitated briefly. "Please."

"Why do you want me to go so badly? I just want to help-!"

The larger alien suddenly lunged forward, grabbing the nomad's jaw and pulling him close. Wander felt warm, slightly fuzzy lips on his, a pair of large hands roaming down his back as a larger chest pressed against his own. His own face began to feel warm as he put his hands on the other's shoulders, opening his mouth slightly and turning his head. The sweet smell was even stronger now, intoxicating and wonderful. Wander moaned against the other's lips, clutching at his fur and moving even closer, feeling the other's heart pounding just as hard as Wander's own.

It was then that Wander felt something hard poking against his thigh. He pulled away surprised, looking down before remembering that they were sitting in the dark.

"What's wrong?" Hater asked, the husky tone in his voice making Wander flush.

"A-Ah... you're, um... you're poking me."

The overlord didn't react for a minute, then suddenly moved away from Wander, getting out from under the blanket.

"W-Wait, don't- you don't have to leave!" Wander exclaimed, crawling out from the other end of the blanket. He froze when he saw Hater, who was looking away and clutching the blanket, which he was holding over his lap.

Hater was definitely a Star Nomad, as he'd suspected.

He was also very, very red.

Literally red. His fur (above the waist, anyway; below that the fur was pitch black) was a bright crimson, although his face was pretty red as well.

"So I was right, then." Wander mused. Hater flushed even more, clutching at the blanket. "What happened?"

"... Some witch cast a spell on me, turned me into this."

"I see."

"... m' sorry." He mumbled, refusing to look Wander in the eye. "For, um, poking you."

"Wha- Oh! Oh, no, Hater, it's fine!" He said quickly, crawling over to the other Star Nomad and placing his hands over Hater's. "I don't mind, really! Besides, it makes sense that you'd get like this, given the circumstances."

Hater glanced at him, confused. "What... what do you mean? I just have a fever, that doesn't-"

"Hatey, you don't have a fever." Wander informed him, scooting back a bit.

The overlord blinked, even more befuddled. "Wander, I've tested my temperature a dozen times, by all accounts I have a fever."

"No, because a fever is the body fighting off an infection, and besides being really warm, you aren't at all sick, are you?"

"Well, no, but..." He narrowed his eyes. "What are you getting at?"

Wander sighed. "Hater, you're in heat."

The overlord blinked again, his mouth hanging open in shock. "Wh... WHAT?!"

"You're in heat. It happens at least once a year to every Star Nomad above a certain age."

Hater flushed, pulling the blanket over his face. "Oh, gob..."

"It's perfectly natural! I mean, the temperature, the sweet smell-" Wander paused, a thought coming to him. "Hater," he began gently, "How long has this been going on?"

Hater peeked out at him from beneath the blankets, his face still bright red from flushing so much. "I... I don't know, a week maybe?"

Wander groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Well, that explains the smell... your body's producing a lot of pheromones to try and attract a mate since you haven't found one yet. Geez, Hater, why didn't you call me before? You must be absolutely miserable by now!"

"I-I thought I had a fever!" Hater argued defensively.

Wander crossed his arms. "Do your fevers normally involve uncontrollable sexual arousal?"

Hater flushed, looking down shamefully. Wander sighed again.

"Please tell me you've gotten yourself off at least once this week."

The overlord flushed even more, clutching at the blanket, then nodded, refusing to meet Wander's eyes. The nomad sighed in relief, taking his hat off and rooting around inside.

"Good. I was worried that I'd have to ask you to go to the bathroom and do it."

Hater looked up, curious. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm hoping that my hat'll give me some heat-suppressants. They won't stop it altogether, but they'll at least make it bearable- Ah-ha!"

Wander grinned as he grabbed something in his hat, pulling it out and showing it to Hater.

Then he realized that he hadn't, in fact, pulled out heat-suppressants.

"... Wander?"

"... Yes?"

"... Why are you showing me a box of condoms?"

The orange nomad laughed nervously, tossing the box over his shoulder. "Eh-heh, u-uh, sorry about that, the uh... the ol' hat has a bit of a... strange sense of humor."

He returned to digging around, smiling when he felt something new in his hand. "Here we g..." He paused, looking at the bottle in his hand.

"... That's lube, isn't it?"

"Y-Yeah... Uh, by the way, you, um, you know about the..." Wander gestured awkwardly at lower regions, "The, ah, situation down there, right?"

"O-Oh, um, y-yeah, I... I figured it out."

Wander smiled, putting the bottle down and rooting around in the hat again, pulling out another bottle.

"I thought it already gave you lube."

"Oh, uh, this..." Wander squinted at the label. "This is for butt stuff."

"Ah."

Yet again, Wander put down the bottle, rooting around again. And again. And again. He tried over and over, until Hater's bed was practically covered in all sorts of protection, lubricants, and sex toys.

"What the hell is this?!" Hater finally shouted, his face so flushed that it resembled a Red Giant.

Wander laughed nervously, his face flushed just as brightly as Hater's. "It, uh... it seems that the hat thinks that, um, that we..." He swallowed hard. "That in order to fix your, uh, problem, we should... have sex."

It was a little surprising that Hater's face could get even more red at this point. "... What." He finally said, his voice lacking any emotion.

Wander waved his hands defensively. "I-It's okay! W-We don't have to do anything! A-Although... I guess that does sort of make things a little more difficult for you... Hmm... I'm really sorry about this-!" Wander suddenly halted in his speech, staring at Hater.

There had been an odd look on Hater's face just a second ago. It was a look that Wander had seen many times on other people, but never on Hater.

He had looked... happy. Not the mean sort of happy, the kind that came at the expense of other people, which Wander had often seen on his face, but actually happy, with a real, kind-looking smile.

And not only that, but... the look in his eyes, it was so similar to... well, love.

But what surprised the nomad most of all was that, not only did he have that look on his face, but he'd been looking at Wander with that look on his face.

"What are you looking at?" Hater asked, as if he hadn't even been aware how he'd been looking at the other man a moment ago.

With a hard swallow, the orange nomad scooted closer to the overlord, sitting down barely two inches away from Hater.

"Hater?"

"Y-Y... Yeah?"

Wander moved his hands on top of Hater's, rubbing his fingers gently. "... You said you got yourself off earlier, right?"

The conqueror shivered, amazed at how good just having his hand held felt at this point. "Yeah..." He admitted before he could stop himself.

"Were... were you thinking of... thinking of anyone in particular when you did it?"

"Yes." Hater replied, the word out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Who?"

Hater bit his lip, looking away shamefully. "I... I can't... I can't tell you."

"Why not? Wander asked, looking surprised.

"Because... because you'll laugh at me, okay?!"

The nomad's eyes widened. "Wh- I would not! Why would you think that?!"

"Because it's really dumb! I'm really dumb! I-! I really-!" He covered his burning face, tears pricking at his eyes. "I like you, okay?! I really like you! A-And not just because of this... this... whatever it is! I've had these stupid feelings for you for months, and I hate it! I hate feeling so stupid-!"

Suddenly, Wander leaned in, kissing Hater's forehead. "It's okay." He reassured the other Star Nomad as he wrapped his arms him. "It's okay. I like you too."

Hater looked up, his eyes wide. "R... Really?"

"Yes, really. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you for a long time now, but I've never... I didn't have the courage to tell you how I feel." He pulled back, sitting back down and tilting his face towards Hater's. "Do you wanna kiss me again?"

Hater swallowed, then nodded, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Wander's. The orange nomad smiled against the other's mouth, placing his hands on Hater's shoulders. The overlord stifled a groan, wrapping his arms around Wander's waist and pressing against him. With a content sigh, the smaller nomad leaned back onto his elbows and spread his legs, Hater moving between them and kissing at his lover's neck.

"Are... are we... gonna do this?" Hater murmured between kisses.

"Mmm..." Wander replied, pushing Hater up so that they were looking each other in the eyes. "Do... Do you want to?"

"Gob yes." Hater replied, perhaps a little too quickly. Wander smiled at him, kissing him gently as his hands traveled downward, making Hater cry out when he traced a finger from the tip to the base of his cock. The overlord shivered as the other nomad wrapped a hand around his cock and started to pump, the overlord whimpering at how good the nomad's hand felt.

"Nggh... W... Wander... Wander, I, a-ah, I can't..." The conqueror bit his lip, gripping at the blanket. "I'm not gonna last if you keep this up!"

"That's the idea." Wander whispered, moving his hand even faster.

"N-No, I-I mean it, I... I'm gonna come!"

"Then come." The nomad murmured, leaning up and kissing Hater. "Trust me, you'll be glad you did later."

Hater cried out once more, pulling Wander close as he finally hit his peak, spending all over Wander's hand and on both of their stomachs. He panted for a moment, then looked over at Wander, who was grinning at him, as well as sporting a rather impressive erection of his own.

"Uh, do... do you want me to, ah," He made a grasping motion with his hand. "Give you a hand with that?"

"Hmm?" Wander looked down. "Oh! Oh, no, just... are you still feeling warm?"

"Well, yeah..."

The orange nomad smiled. "Then just give yourself a minute. Trust me."

Hater gave him a doubtful look, but shrugged. "Alright, if you say so."

Sure enough, within a couple of minutes Hater had returned to his aroused state, perhaps even more turned on than the last time.

"Told you." Wander teased, crawling into Hater's lap and rubbing his cock against Hater's.

"H-Heh, well, when- mm- when you're right you're right..." Hater managed, his legs shaking from pleasure as a he rubbed Wander's back. The nomad giggled, kissing him softly before moving back and leaning over the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?"

Wander sat up, the box of condoms from before in his hands.

"Oh. Right."

Wander smiled, leaning up and kissing Hater as he opened up the box, fishing one out and ripping the wrapping off. "Do you wanna put it on, or should I?"

Hater swallowed hard, looking away. "Um... uh, I'd... I'd like to be on top, if... if that's alright with you."

Wander blinked, then laughed. "Sweetie, I was asking if you wanted me to put the condom on you or if you wanted to do it yourself."

"... Ah." The overlord replied, flushing. "Uh, I'll do it myself, thanks."

The nomad smiled, handing Hater the rubber and moving back. The larger Star Nomad swallowed nervously, his hands shaking as he slipped on the condom. Once it was on, the former skeleton looked up, his eyes widening when he saw Wander leaning back, rubbing at the fleshy folds between his legs.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Mmm... just warming up a bit. Give me a second."

Hater flushed, rather pointedly not looking at Wander. After a moment, he heard the nomad sigh.

"Alright, Hater... I'm ready for you."

The overlord grinned weakly, moving between Wander's legs and positioning himself.

"S... So... I just... push in?"

Wander stared at him for a moment, a little unsure of what to say. "You... you haven't done this before, have you?"

Hater's eyes widened, then his face dropped, his face flooding red with shame. "I... No."

The nomad smiled warmly, leaning up and kissing him. "It's okay. Just... be gentle, alright?"

Hater nodded, gripping at the sheets as he pushed inside, relishing the little moans and whimpers coming out of his lover as he moved inside.

"Haaaateeeey..." Wander whined, gripping at the fur on his lover's back. "Move, move, please, move!"

The overlord bit his lip, thrusting shallowly into him, settling into a rhythm as he let out a groan.

"Oh!" Wander cried out suddenly, gripping at Hater's fur even tighter. "There! There!"

"O... Okay..." Hater managed, thrusting at that spot again, loving the moans that came out of Wander. He felt heat coiling low inside of him, moving one of his hands down to Wander's prick and rubbing it gently. Wander whimpered, arching and clenching his toes.

"H... Hater..." He moaned, one of his hands moving down to the blanket and gripping it. Hater's hand moved on top of it, grasping it.

"W-Wander... Wander, gob, do you know how gorgeous you are? A-And not just, like, having a pretty face or anything, you... you might be the nicest person I've ever met... I just... hah... really like you..."

Wander leaned up, kissing him. "I-I- ah! I really like you too, Hater-! A-aah!"

With one last cry of Hater's name, the orange nomad came, gripping Hater's hand, Hater following suit quickly after. The two laid down for a while, silent except for their heavy breathing.

"... Wow." Hater finally managed to say, pulling out of Wander. The nomad smiled at him, his blue eyes half-closed.

"'Wow' indeed. Not bad for a first-timer."

Hater flushed, grinning sheepishly. "Thanks," He said as he disposed of the soiled condom.

Wander smiled, crawling over and hugging the other Star Nomad. "I mean it. You were good."

Hater smiled, hugging him back, then frowning and clearing his throat. "Y... You know, um, I'm still kind of warm..."

Wander looked up at him, then grinned, giving him another kiss.

Wander lazily opened his eyes, still a bit exhausted from the rather... active night he'd had the morning before with Hater. He sighed, snuggling into the cloth of his lover's cloak.

Wait... cloth?

Wander opened his eyes, smiled when he saw his once again skeletal lover.

Everything was back to the way it was before.

Hater shifted in his sleep, pulling the nomad closer.

Wander grinned. Well, almost everything.

But perhaps that was for the best.