Hello and welcome back to any of my returning readers! After much deliberation and planning that spanned back as far as during the last few chapters of Advents, I have decided to foist this bizarre, Frankenstein'd genre story upon you. Out of my love for you, I warn you now that this will not be the dramatic adventure story Advents was, nor is it a romance. Rather, I'm stretching my skills to try and practice a new style, mostly revolving around bizarre situations and my own terrible form of comedy (I like bad puns and cliches; kill me). If this alternate universe appeals to you, carry on! If not, try one of my other stories, which will probably be infinitely better than this one.

As always, if you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to review or PM me. Thanks for reading and have a beautiful day!

1: Across the Road and to the Right or, "Stay Away from SLK!"

Station Square: a sprawling metropolis in the heart of West Mobius. Home to a beach-side casino, several illustrious hotels and a super mall three stories tall, it stands to reason it would also possess the largest college for miles. Sure enough, Linehardt University was a glorious campus filled with antique architecture, a massive commons center where (school regulated) events were held, and six dormitories in the form of antebellum mansions.

At the northern end of the property, three stately buildings guarded a courtyard complete with cherub fountain and fine, iron-wrought benches. A wide cobblestone path sprouted from the courtyard, meandering through a medium-sized forest and a delicate, manicured garden. Beyond the trees the road led to the dorms. On one side of the path were the sorority houses, kept tidy and welcoming by high-class young ladies. On the other, testosterone reigned supreme in the form of fraternities, where more than once the headmaster had delved to warn male students not to leave underwear on the lawn.

However, if one had a more experienced eye, it could be seen that the final frat house, Sigma Lambda Kappa, was placed just a bit further away from the rest. No one knew how long it had been that way and few had dared to find out. Sigma Lambda Kappa was the house for... special pledges, or so the rumor went. So when Amy Rose arrived early one spring morning at Gamma Nu Omega, she eyed the dingy white mansion that sat across-the-road-and-to-the-right with boiling curiosity. Her best friend and Linehardt veteran of one year, Rouge the Bat, greeted her at the front door and instantly tried to squash the pink hedgehog's longing expression.

"Don't even think about it," Rouge yanked Amy's face towards her own. "If you only obey me for one time in your life, let this be it. Do not go near SLK." Amy frowned slightly, her strawberry-glossed lips puckering. She blinked green eyes in question.

"Why not, Rouge? I'm just wondering why their house is so far away..."

"Trust me," the white bat groaned as she lifted one of Amy's heavy suitcases and began to pull it up the front steps. Upon reaching the top, she plopped the luggage down and gestured at the forbidden building with a scowl. "It's better like this. Those guys are nuts." Amy turned back to give the house one final stare. A cool breeze blew, ruffling her quills. It carried the scent of fate and Amy Rose had a feeling that—by the end of the week—she'd know exactly why Sigma Lambda Kappa was so displaced.

The moment reeking of cliché destiny passed and the young lady grabbed the rest of her things, stomping up the stone stairs with purpose.

Amy Rose, you are going to listen to Rouge and focus on having a good first year. She took a deep breath—and entered her new house. Met with a bustle of activity, Amy could only gape at her surroundings. Older girls scrambled around for backpacks, talking about psych classes and carrying textbooks that looked like they weighed the same as cinder blocks. A sizable staircase sat just past the tile entry, carpeted a dark blue. On each side a hallway curled away, leading to a kitchen and imposing dining room on the left, a den and bathroom on the right. Overhead, a crystal chandelier lit everything clearly. Amy blinked.

"Well come on, sweetie, we have to get you settled in." Rouge was pulling the luggage up the staircase, trying to stay out of the way of two statuesque minks making their way down. Amy scuffled after her friend, trying not get underfoot. The upstairs stretched on either side of the top, hallways lined with large windows and bedroom doors. Plush carpet squished underfoot and Amy's heart began to flutter as daydreams bloomed in her mind. Linehardt University at last! Just then, one of the bedroom doors burst open and a tall, slim swallow came stomping out, oblivious to the newcomer. Leaning over the stair rail, she raised a motor component and shouted loud enough to rattle the chandelier.

"MARINE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BUY YOUR OWN GEAR?!" When the echo of her voice ceased, she examined the bauble and wire, grimacing in lament. "Gonna have to buy a whole new set of copper..." Her blue eyes suddenly met Amy's, and she raised her eyebrows haughtily, "Who are you, then? Never seen you around GNO."

Amy's mouth opened and closed before she gained her voice back, "I-I'm Amy Rose... I just arrived for spring quarter..." This girl is so... intense! And why does everyone here look like a model?

The swallow crossed her arms and appraised the underclassman with narrow eyes, "Hmm... I'm Wave. What classes are you in?"

"Just basics," the pink hedgehog stammered, "um... math, literature..."

"Good," the swallow-called-Wave huffed. She stalked past Amy back to her room before turning and shaking the hunk of metal at her, "Stay out of the engineering wing; that's my business, no matter what Marine says."

"Who's Mari—" Amy began, but Wave slammed the door, leaving her alone in the hallways. The bell for morning classes rang faintly. Rouge suddenly appeared at Amy's side, causing her to jump.

"I see you met Wave. She's not a bad person, just high-strung." Amy nodded and Rouge grabbed her hand, pulling her to the end of the hall. "Can't leave you alone for one minute, huh? Here's our room." They arrived in a small bedroom, the last in the house. It was divided in two by a set of oak desks; one side of the room was completely decorated in bubblegum-pink and silver, with several fluffy, heart-shaped pillows filling the bunk. Rouge pointed at the other side of the room, where an austere bed was pressed against the window. "That's your side. Feel free to deck it out however you please. Bathroom schedule is on your desk and I rustled up a list of eligible bachelors to go with it." The bat winked one of her powder-blue eyes, a playful smirk toying with her glossy lips.

"Thanks so much for making my pledge work out," Amy finally began to relax after seeing her bed. She turned and hugged her friend gratefully. Rouge shrugged, flipping a hand through her platinum hair.

"No biggie. It gets lonely in this big house with no one familiar." She yawned, "Now... I stayed up late to bring you in. I'm gonna try to catch a nap before night classes start. Don't make too much noise while you unpack." She wandered over to the gaudy bed, kicked off her high-heel boots, and fell onto the pillows. Snores emerged moments later, and Amy suppressed a chuckle.

Oh, Rouge... I can't thank you enough.

The red-clad girl pulled her suitcases into a circular formation at the edge of the bed and plopped down to sort her belongings. Two hours dragged by and the sun rose into a higher position. Amy finally fell back on her bed, stretching from prolonged hunched position. A pleased sigh escaped her lips and the sun streaming from the window warmed her achy limbs. It was a good thing Rouge had opened the windows before her arrival; the breeze gave the entire setting a very homey feel.

The bell for afternoon classes rang.

Then, the most obnoxious car Amy had ever had the misfortune of hearing tore down the cobbled path and rumbled right in front of the sorority house—or so it sounded. Amy drowsily lifted her head, rolling over to place her chin on the window sill. The car wasn't right outside the house. It was idling in the driveway of the forbidden dorm, Sigma Lambda Kappa. It was bright blue and incredibly small, which caused Amy to blink in surprise when six people dragged themselves out of the doors on either side.

A blue hedgehog, jumped out of the driver's seat, flailing and chanting "HOO HOO HOO". A white hedgehog with ridiculous-shaped quills guffawed and floundered along with the blue one, and a black-and-red hedgehog helping some sweat-shirted creature out from the car. The person—who had their hood pulled over their face—kicked their leg out beneath the blue hedgehog and hissed in a strangely feminine voice, "Shut up already!" On the passengers' side stood a purple chameleon who seemed to stagger with every step and a husky red echidna, stretching muscled arms and yawning. The bizarre group of people waddled haphazardly up their drive, stumbling over the pavement and making raucous conversation. When they finally opened the front door, they disappeared as suddenly as they had come: in a cacophony and the chameleon following behind, saying, "Sonic, there are people sleeping!"

Amy gawked, fully alert from the scene. She continued to stare, half expecting the house to erupt into a full-blown party with techno and strobe lights. When the sun began to blind her, she leaned back onto her bed, exhaling vacantly. Rouge's bed creaked. The white bat shifted up to glare at the window.

"That is why you don't go near SLK."

Amy only nodded, more curious than ever.

First thing next morning, Amy woke with hope for a wonderful first day and patiently waited her turn to shower. After clothing herself in the nicest outfit she could muster—a simple red dress with a gray cardigan and red boots—she gathered her class list, backpack, and a campus map. She took one deep breath before braving the outside at the heels of some upperclassmen. A short, sherbet-colored echidna with beaded dreadlocks and a chipmunk with cropped auburn hair. The air was crisp and the cobblestone made a delightful sound with every high heel that fell on it. Amy smiled pleasantly, falling into a comfortable rhythm with the rest of the exodus.

"Did you hear about that incident in the chemistry lab yesterday?" The echidna remarked to the chipmunk, twirling a lock around her finger. The chipmunk shrugged in response. The echidna continued, "I heard it was Triple S again. Poor Mr. Rothshire has to write to the school board for a new set of chem vials; every last flask was destroyed." This seemed to catch the chipmunk's attention. She stood a little straighter and put her phone away.

"What did they do, exactly?"

The echidna chuckled, "Don't worry, Sally... They just melted them all with drain cleaner. I'm sure you'll be able to do that experiment you've been looking forward to." The chipmunk—apparently 'Sally'-wilted.

"I'll never get a proper education with those fools around... Lucky they're cute, otherwise I'd try to get them expelled."

"E-excuse me," Amy spoke up. The two older girls turned, looking her up and down with blasé expressions. Amy cleared her throat, "Um... Who is Triple S?" Sally groaned and the echidna girl grinned. She folded her arms behind her back and swayed in place. Amy looked between them, confused. After a moment, Sally waved a hand dismissively and rolled her eyes.

"Go on, Tikal, spill."

Tikal the Echidna squeaked happily before grabbing Amy's hand and pulling her to walk between Sally and herself. She began chattering away as if it wasn't seven in the morning, "First of all, Triple S isn't just one person. There are three of them." She held up three fingers in Amy's face, wiggling them childishly, "Sonic, Shadow, and Silver. They make up the most interesting group of characters at this school, but their friends sure hold their own. Basically," Tikal bit her lips teasingly, "if you hear about any trouble or weird happenings around here, you can guarantee Triple S has a hand it." Amy nodded, filing away the information for later use. After she memorized the names, she cocked her head.

"What house do they belong to?"

Sally frowned and spoke in monotone, "Sigma Lambda Kappa."

A chill ran up Amy's spine as memories of the previous night flooded back. Sometime after Rouge had left and Amy was just falling asleep for the night, noises began to filter up to the bedroom window. She had looked out again, assuming it was just some late night class students trying to get to the school. Unexpectedly, the dorm across-the-road-and-to-the-right had flared to life once more. It seemed as if every light was on, including the porch sconce. The front door was thrown open and the troop of six from earlier filed down to the driveway. The blue hedgehog tackled the white one, both launching over the side of the landscaping and falling onto the front lawn below. They wrestled for a bit before the black hedgehog came stomping down the stairs and shouted after them.

"Break it up, idiots. It's my turn to drive tonight and I'm not waiting for you to get out your bromantic urges." Behind him the hooded person and the chameleon trailed almost hesitantly. Finally, the buff echidna barreled over the flower beds and landed next to the brawling hedgehogs. Laughing boisterously, he pulled them apart.

"Get in the car, losers." He pumped a fist in the air, "Karaoke at Lenny's tonight!"

The blue hedgehog broke free from the echidna's grasp, beginning to dance and cheer, "Lenny's, Lenny's, Lenny's!" After a minute, the whole group joined in at varying volumes and they piled into the little blue car. It roared to life, backed out and tore away, the sound of techno music fading after it.

Amy had pushed away her desire for the smallest scrap of knowledge, instead rolling over to burrow beneath her flannel pillow and hope for a good morning.

"Hey, girl?"

Amy shook her head, breaking out of her reverie with an awkward giggle, "Sorry, I... I must have spaced out."

Tikal eyed her warily, "If you say so. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about Triple S affecting you directly. They're pretty detached, if the position of their house didn't give that away. You're a freshman besides, right?" Amy nodded. Tikal bobbed her head as if saying "then you're fine". By some premonition, the sherbet echidna checked her phone. Her face contorted into a worried frown, "Crap, I'm going to be late for Psych! See-ya, Sal. Oh," she smiled warmly at Amy as she jogged away, "have a good first day!" Sally stopped walking and turned to the younger pink hedgehog.

"Like she said, Triple S won't give you too much trouble. As long as you stay away from SLK, you'll be totally fine." She looked at her phone and back at Amy, "My Debate class is starting. See you later." She turned on her heel and marched away. Amy stood in the middle of the path, bewildered and just a teeny bit nervous. The wind blew, moving the edge of her dress as she stared at the ground, deep in thought. Suddenly a string of expletives erupted behind her and a blue blur shot past. It doubled back and materialized in front of her in the form of the blue hedgehog wearing a letter-jacket. Amy Rose gulped.

Sally was right. He was cute. His quills spiked out behind him in a bed-head style, and deep-green eyes flicked up and down her form with a practiced glint. He finally let out a low whistle.

"Haven't seen you around here before, cutie! You a freshman?"

Amy attempted not to choke on her tongue, "...yes."

The blue hedgehog grinned, "Cool-cool. What's your name?"

"Amy Rose." Her heart was fluttering and her stomach was all tangled up! Who! Why!

He nodded and gave her a cheeky expression, "Cute name, too. Too bad I'm already late for class, or I'd..." The morning bell rang and he cursed under his breath, "I'd better be going, is what! Listen," he turned to go, "I'll see ya around, cutie."

Amy nearly fainted before she recovered just enough to shout after him, "Wait! What's your name?"

He turned once more and threw her a wink with a thumbs up, "Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog." After that, he bolted away in the blink of an eye. Amy fanned herself with a hand, attempting to quell her anxiety. Since arriving at Linehardt, she had received vehement warnings to beware of Sigma Lambda Kappa more than "welcomes". The house was creepily far away and the residents were obnoxiously loud at all times of day. She had done nothing but repeat the same mantra in her head: Focus on a good first year. Don't get in trouble. She didn't want anything to do with Sigma Lambda Kappa!

So why did she feel like she had just kissed Ryan the Gosling?

Cue shuddering at possibly the worst pun in all of history. I know... this is a far cry than the quality of my other work. If you liked it, excellent! If not, tell me why in a helpful critique. Thanks again!