The thing about reality is that it is quickly shifting. One moment she hated the potions professor with all her might, and the very next day literally she felt the strangest of bonding with him. She hadn't fallen in love. She was confident of that. For years she tried to get her mother away from her father's continuing more erratic behaviors. It went from just a few more arguments then the normal couple would have to abusive fights, to drunken abusive fights. She had begged her mom to leave him, but her mother insisted she needed to stay and help her father be a better man.

Watching her father slowly destroy the beautiful women that her mother was taught her not to love.

She had to admit to herself that Severus was making quite a case for himself. He was sending her love letters continuously, sometimes more than once a day. He was such a cold bitter person, but for some unexplainable reason he had fallen in love with her. Hard. The type of love people would fight for, and die for. She knew she was plain. It wasn't like she was blind to reality, so his choosing of her was insane. All this time she thought he was protecting the golden trio as they had been dubbed.

Now she was growing more confident that his natural instinct was protecting her specifically, even if his conscious mind hadn't recognized their connection yet.

"What are you doing buried in books now? You've been done with your school work for ages I'm sure." Harry said sitting opposite of her at the dusty table. She barely glanced up from the book she was reading : Vampire lore and reality.

"Well I have had a busy summer actually. This is just for a bit of light reading though. Nothing special." She commented offhandedly hoping he would stop questioning her and leave her be. She wasn't so lucky.

"Why do you want to learn about vampires? They're rather boring. They suck blood. There you go, that's everything you need to know." He said choming into an apple he was munching on. He had been eating almost non stop since coming back from his relatives.

"Did you know that vampires only bond once in their life so if the person they bond with dies, so do they. If they convert the person they bond to into a vampire though, they will both be immortal. There are only two ways to become a vampire, and that is by being born a vampire, and by being converted by someone you are bonded with. If you are not bonded and are bitten you won't turn into a vampire." She said rattling off various facts she had learned while going through this rather interesting book that had been to her upon her request by Severus.

Harry just stared blankly at her pausing in the middle of a bite. She shook her head assuming it was way above his comprehension level judging by his dumbfounded look. He shocked her when he responded.

"You're dating a vampire." He said decisively finishing his bite. She looked up at him shocked at his perceptiveness. He was grinning so at least it was a good reaction.

"No. I'm not in the position to be dating anyone." She said sternly with the slightest of a blush.

"What are you waiting for this war to be finished? Love shouldn't wait Hermione especially if you're bonded or something." He said, his Gryffindor side coming out brilliantly. She sighed and shook her head.

"It's just...complicated. He's not exactly the easiest person to understand, and I haven't bonded with him, he's just bonded with me. I don't know if he even realizes it though. He is pretty inept emotionally."

"You know Ron isn't a vampire." he said jokingly at her description of someone not all there emotionally. She couldn't help but giggle a bit. Ron was emotionally blank so a bit frustrating. With Severus though, it was more of a he's so complicated she wasn't sure if either of them could ever completely understand him.

"Yes, I know that Harry. Very funny though." She said feeling a bit lightened at their conversation. Reading about all the complications of the bonding to Severus was just a bit stressful.

"Hermione, someone wants to see you." Ms. Wesley called from downstairs. She felt a rush of hope that it was Severus, but she pushed it back down just as quickly. She didn't care about him. She just needed to keep reminding herself that.

Lupin was waiting at the base of the stairs for her, his scowl deep and she suddenly wished it had been pretty much anybody but him there. He was not pleased.

"A moment if you don't mind?" He said indicating to the drawing room that was about as dreary as her mood now.

"Sure. I don't suppose I have any choice?" She said with a sigh. He gave a half-hearted smile and shut the door harshly behind her.

"Can I help you?" She asked feigning civility she didn't really feel. She knew she was in for a lecture and didn't really feel up to it today. She had been barely getting any sleep at all lately.

"I was just wondering why you have had almost constant owls lately. That is very untypical of you. So my curiosity got the better of me." He said holding up a crumpled letter. Her anger boiled up fast enough that it surprised even herself.

"YOU READ MY MAIL."

"He is a dangerous man Hermione, I have known him far longer then you have.." He started firmly cutting across her outburst. She snatched the letter out of his hand, her anger making her magic crackle slightly around him. He took a step back, his ill advised concern fading to fear.

"How dare you open my mail without asking. I am an adult now, I do not need you butting your head where it doesn't belong." She snarled at him oblivious to her lack of control on her magic. He gulped and gave a short nod.

"Point taken." He said nervously. She glared at him not moving until she was confident she could do so without striking him. What nerve did he have going through her things? It was an invasion of her privacy that was unwarranted considering his choice of a girlfriend who was significantly younger than he was.

"You know, I expected more out of you considering your life choices. I suppose that once again I am learning who to trust, and who cannot even be trusted to keep their noses where it belongs." She said with venom watching him recoil slightly at the harshness in her tone.

"Hermione, I was just…"

"Just interfering. So don't do it again. I can handle myself." she said harshly, then stomped away slamming the door behind her. She didn't go back to the library room, but instead just went and sat on the couch and collapsed, her head falling into her hands.

What was wrong with her? She had never had this much trouble controlling her magic when she was mad. This was normally the territory that Harry had issues with. Even now she could feel her magic swirling inside her like it was restless almost. Looking for a fight or way to release itself. She had never thought of it as alive, but it indeed was. If only she could communicate with it and figure out what it was it needed.

It was long after dark before she moved. She ignored Ms. wesley's call for dinner. She didn't respond when Harry and Ron asked her what was wrong. She didn't even accept Ginny's offer to gossip with her. All she wanted was to be alone and to meditate. When the last person went to bed she got up to get a drink of tequila, the only thing that was kept in the house, mainly for Ms. Wesley. She filled the cup to the brim and ignored the burning down her throat letting all the tension and worry she felt drift away. It was only when her sense were properly dulled that she sank back into the chair and read the note that Lupin had confiscated.

You only have one week left before you come back to school. I have been asked to get to know you better in my...activities. I will be at your place around midnight and we shall discuss further.

S.S.

She read the letter several times before the meaning sunk in. He was going to be here...tonight. She was already on her way to being drunk. He would be pissed she was sure of it. She emptied the rest of the glass and set the cup down figuring as long as she was going to get fussed at, she may as well be absolutely drunk for it.

"I see you started the party early without me." She heard his smooth voice chastise her just moments after she finished the drink. Perfect timing. At least she had finished her drink, she thought hazily.

"I just read your note actually." She said slurring her words just ever so slightly.

"Lupin had taken it and lectured me on how dangerous you are." He didn't look pissed like she expected. Just tired. He sat down in the dusty armchair wearily and looked at her with a closed expression as usual. She was a bit tense waiting for an outburst, but it never happened.

"I see. Well he is correct. I am a dangerous animal. I may even bite you one day." He said teasingly. She thought he was teasing at least.

"What did you want to discuss?" She asked holding up the crumpled note, her coordination off quite a bit.

"The Dark Lord asked me to get to know you better. While going through my mind he saw a scene of me talking with you, and you openly replying. So I've been asked to befriend you and foster that relationship." He said, his honesty at his intentions surprising her. She smiled a bit and shook her head.

"Yes he just ACCIDENTLY saw that scene, did he?" She said amused by his deception to the Dark Lord.

"Oh yes...how unfortunate." He said in a mockery of a sneer.

"Why are you drunk by the way? Gryffindor's golden girl normally refuses to let her schoolwork be affected by a lack of sobriety." He asked seeming actually a bit concerned. Or maybe it was just the way the dim light of the room was hitting his dark eyes. She wasn't quite sure.

"I'm not drunk...just tipsy. And I don't know. I just feel...overwhelmed. Like i'm losing control of my magic." She said sadly. She really had been overwhelmed for months really. She had been holding in so much anger and grief over her mother's passing, just trying to make it to the next day without throttling her father. Now that she was out of the situation though and life was moving just like normal, she felt out of place.

"Maybe the issue isn't what you're thinking." He said getting himself a drink as well. His movements were stiff and she was sure he was in pain from his visit from the Dark Lord which was probably earlier today.

"You're reading my mind again, aren't you?" She said, feeling the rest of the alcohol she had consumed quickly hitting her system. What little tension she had was quickly dissipating.

"Of course. When was the first time you've felt like your magic wasn't responding well?" She thought back to the last few months.

"Today actually. Normally I am able to keep it reigned in." He took a long draft of the liquid he had just poured himself and observed her over the glass thoughtfully.

"What?" She asked not sure if she liked him looking at her so intently. She was used to him looking at her with nothing but disdain.

"Nothing. Just realized I have yet to report to the headmaster and probably should."

"After you've been drinking?" She asked shocked. I mean a teacher knowing she was drinking was one thing, but going tipsy to the headmaster is a whole different thing. He smirked at her incredible reaction.

"He would be concerned if I wasn't and wonder what happened to his loyal chess piece." He said jokingly, his voice holding only amusement. She couldn't help but admire how his black eyes which were normally unbearably empty, were actually quite enchanting when he was amused. She brushed off her betraying thoughts reminding herself he was her teacher.

She was crossing the line by keeping up her communication and rather personal notes with him. She shouldn't be entertaining him in any fashion despite the fact that it was technically legal due to her time-turner use. It was still heavily unethical. Just because he had some sort of connection with her, didn't mean she needed to encourage his sudden fascination with her. Yet she felt a huge amount of disappointment when he rose that she made a disappointed noise. She really needed to drink less.

"I shall take my leave. Do try not to drink too much more tonight? It would be quite unfortunate if you blacked out and we had to replay this whole conversation over again." He said ignoring her barely audible protest. Just like that, he was gone. As unexpectedly as he had arrived that evening. Her magic roared up in protest as if it was upset at his departure as well. Her hands glowed ever so slightly from the magic coming to the surface in it's anger. She couldn't give the strange happenings much thought though, because she promptly fell asleep on the couch, her stress and worries easing away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stormed through the halls of Hogwarts, his frustration being taken out on the innocent stone that lined the hallways leading to the headmaster's office.

he had felt her power. It had been practically surrounding her and reaching out to him. Drawing him in. Begging him to connect with her in a way she was totally and completely unprepared for. She was so young and innocent. He knew after their first interaction that he was going to bond with her. He could think nothing but her. She had finally reached the age of maturity, and his bonding instinct kicked in full force.

Why Potter's friend. He had waited ages for someone to bond with. Fought the war alone because no women was sufficient for him. While they could provide him warmth, his body craved more. Craved it like the blood he needed for his very survival. Ever since that day all he could focus on was ways to try to woo her. His natural instinct to manipulate her by any means necessary was almost overwhelming. Much like a veela, vampires were very capable of getting essentially any person they wanted, just not using looks. Using manipulation and reading the person's responses in a way that allowed them to lead the victim down the path they needed to go.

He needed to suppress these urges though. He was trying desperately. It was a constant internal battle wanting nothing more than to bond with her, and not wanting to MAKE her bond with him. He had committed so many crimes in his life, he didn't want her future to be just yet another crime, destroying it for his own selfish desire. He had seen this happen so many times in the clan he was a leader of, and he wanted to lead with example. Show them they could be more than their instincts.

He banging on the headmaster's door a bit too forcibly.

"Come in Severus." THe headmaster said, somehow knowing his presence despite the fact that half the faculty spent the summer here as well. Damned old man.

"I see you are quite agitated today. Is something on your mind?" Albus asked kindly, looking over his half-glasses patiently, watching him sit down ungracefully in his annoyance.

"Not really. Meeting went as usual." He said eating several lemon drops at once. They were quite addictive sweets and his tolerance was up to about five drops in an hour. he ate six or seven. He wasn't sure. It was the only thing that was going to get himself through this conversation.

"Did he say anything upsetting?" The headmaster asked again, probing him for more details. He crunched the candies and swallowed them before responding.

"He wants me to get to know Granger. I purposely led him to that conclusion. I don't want him getting suspicious about my involvement with her." He admitted, the veterinary making him slightly more loose tongued already. The headmaster watched him with an annoying smile.

"Well that's rather clever. Cover your bases before you even get to the bridge."

"Why her Albus. I could've bonded with anyone. Why is it going to be her?" He asked with a trace of anger. The headmaster chuckled merrily.

"Because she is your perfect compliment. She is intelligent, but feisty. Controlled and responsible. Driven. I had long ago suspected once she matured that she would be your bonded one."

"I feel like by bonding with her I will ruin her life." He said bluntly. He had little to offer such a talented girl. The headmaster was quiet for a moment, looking out the window at the night sky, his amusement becoming a bit more serious. Even the headmaster agreed apparently he thought bitterly.

"Some people believe love is like a sponge. Only the best most perfect sponges will be able to absorb the love they are given. Only the best sponges deserve love. The only problem with this idea is that every sponge is able to absorb love if it is able to find the right water." The headmasters analogy was strange, but in a weird way made sense.

"I think with all this added stress from the war, you need to consider getting yourself an apprentice. I think that would help ease your stress a bit." The headmaster suggested pointedly. He hesitated, gave gave a curt nod. He wanted to see more of her. He couldn't turn down that opportunity even if his conscious said it was a bit sly and immortal.

He had done far worse after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She had barely heard from him in the week leading up to her departure to Hogwarts. He had sent one note saying she was going to apprentice under him. He gave her no choice. Not that she would've ever told him no. He was the best potion master in the continent and she could easily get any job she wanted in potion development with an apprenticeship under him. It still just aggravated her the week of radio silence from him, combined with him refusing to give her the choice whether or not she could apprentice under him.

She boarded the train sitting with Harry and Ron as usual, her mood depressive bad. Her father had not supplied her the funds she needed to get more than just the books she needed for her classes. Her robes were ragged at best and she knew she would stand out amongst the train of students wearing their new robes once it came time to change.

Not to mention she had no new quills. No potion supplies. No paper. She honestly had no idea how she was going to manage. She knew she could just ask Harry for some, but she just couldn't bring herself to literally beg for school supplies.

"Do you mind if I join?" Malfoy asked opening the door to their private compartment. Harry looked so jazzed she answered before Ron could make a biting retort.

"Of course. Have a seat." She said giving the blond a half-hearted smile. He gave her a curt nod and sat next to Harry who was grinning openly.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked rudely. Malfoy was unfazed.

"Harry asked me to join him in the train." Malfoy said confidently taking Harry's hand. Ron looked at their hands and kept looking back and forth between them confused, his mouth agape hilariously.

"They are seeing each other you dimwit." She said with a sigh at his idiocy. She was at least glad she didn't end up with him. She would've ended up hitting him with something so hard out of frustration one day that she would destroy what few brain cells he had. She pulled out a book and ignored the resulting awkward conversation where Ron questioned them about how it all worked with them being gay and previously hating each other.

She had zoned out reading her book about wandless magic and its many uses when her study was interrupted by a voice in her head.

"Enjoying yourself?" Severus asked making her look up abruptly and look around for him.

"Just a bit of long distance reverse legilimency. Stand back and admire my brilliance." He said in what she was shocked to find was playfulness. She almost hissed audibly in annoyance at him.

"You ignored me all week."

"We being clingy?" He asked mockingly. She grit her teeth and tried to push him out of her head. An impossible feat considering she had no clue what she was doing.

"Wait so you get mad at me for my lack of communication then try to block me out of your head. Slightly hypocritical don't you think?" He said refusing to budge from her head.

"I missed you." He said uncharacteristically open. She felt her annoyance ease just slightly.

"Oh yes, that's much better. I need you nice and happy. What use am I if I am not making a princess like you happy?" He said as if his logic was sound.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" She asked amused despite herself.

"A bit. A year of new first year slobbering idiots just waiting to make my hair grey as fast as possible. It's best to face some challenges after a few drinks." He said seriously, his amusement at his description passing through their connection.

"How's your magic been doing? Any more episodes?" He asked changing the subject abruptly, his playfulness passing.

"A few actually. I just feel...restless. I've been reading on wandless magic and thought maybe if I learned how to do that, I could control the outbursts a bit better." He was silent for a few minutes and she almost thought he had left her mind completely.

"When you use your wand to do magic, you're focusing the energy in an organized way and can stop it at any point. With wandless magic, the results may be unpredictable and it can allow others to grab a hold of your magic for their own use. Be careful." He said, his playfulness gone, and she could feel his somber tone. She was taken aback by him actually dissuading her from learning something.

"Well it's worth a shot." She said defensively. He didn't respond, but in her silence waiting for him to respond she felt herself drifting off to sleep. She had been barely sleeping at night and the dull conversation in the compartment lulled to into a light slumber.

She dreamt of twirling around an empty dance floor with a masked man. He was tall and exceptionally good at dancing making up for her lack of coordination. Her red dress swirled around her as she was moved in rhythm to some unheard beat. The smell of her partner was a dark musk scent that reminded her of the forbidden forest and enticed her to lean in closer to him. He leaned in and murmured in a velvety soft voice in her ear.

"Falling yet Ms. Granger?"