Insert standard disclaimer.

I know this is a bit short, but the stopping point seemed to work.

Dear Perfessor Dumbldore

Our seargeant sez we hav to write letters home, sumthin 'bout it helpin morale. Well, as ye know, hogwarts is the closest to home that i've got, bein as me mother don't read. Im hopin that I got the muggleborn post address right, never thought I'd be needin this i'll tell ya.

Not much to say at this point, instead of goin ta war, it seems i'm going for MORE trainin! How do muggles manage to get any fighten done like this? Apparently we're goin to Bombay for jungle training of all things. Instead of fighten jerries, ima gonna be fighten nips it seems.

Honestly, with all this trainin, i'm beginnin ta wonder if this goin ta war thing is all it's cracked up ta be.

Hagrid

Perfessor;

Well we made it ta bombay, and i'll tell ye. I dont care if I have ta march back, but gettin me back on that boat aint happenin. I dunno if yer aware of this, but thanks to me 'ma, I don't float at all, sink like a rock I do.

Hagrid

Dear Professor

Well, I'm in Bombay, but apparently not for to much longer. I have not even been to the jungle training camp and I am already being reassigned.

I suppose it started when the I got called into Sgt Smythe's office shortly after we got here. As it turns out, Sgt Smythe is a squib who's been in the army since the last war, and he figured me out right quickly.

The lads get a few days liberty here in Bombay before we are to march on to the training camp, and sometimes things can get a little rowdy with the locals. Smythe tasked me with keeping an eye on things as with my size and strength it would be easy to break up any fights that might start.

All was well, till we had a fellow miss roll call the next morning. According to his friends, he went into the market area looking for local tobacco, so Smythe told me to go find him, or at least find out what happened to him. You see, men had been turning up missing every so often for the last few months now and none of the locals were talking.

Well, while I was looking through the market, I saw something that struck me as odd. A fellow got grabbed and dragged into an alleyway, and nobody seemed to notice that anything was wrong.

Well I walked over, and wouldn't you know, apparently Bombay has it's own Diagon Alley, well, closer to Knockturn in this case but still. Someone it seemed was taking advantage of the anti muggle charms to grab unsuspecting folks off the street. Mind you, they were dragging a screaming muggle down the street and these folks didn't even bat an eye.

I will give Bombays magicals this much though, they didn't bat an eye at me either.

Apparently nobody cares, as the fellows doing the dragging didn't seem to care that I was following them. We got to an open market area where they dumped the muggle in a pen with several others including the lad that I had been looking for to begin with. When I asked what was going on, they told me that the muggles were going to be auctioned off when some local farm owners arrived later that week.

As you might guess, I had a bit of a problem with that. When I tried explaining to the fellow that was running things that he couldn't sell the muggles, he pulled a wand and tried to stun me. So I hit him.

Ok, I admit it, I got mad and hit him harder than I should have, but on the bright side i did find something out. Apparently a wand does not really care how you win it, and shattering someones ribs with your fist counts as winning a duel.

Well, after the fellow went down, this hag started yelling and waving this statue around and I figured out why I'd been getting so mad all of the sudden, as of all things a dementor comes out of her hut and towards me.

I'm ashamed to say I lost it at that point, and I honestly can't tell you what happened next. All I know is that when I came to, I was at the other end of the market, there wasn't an intact stall in sight, and I was holding another cloak. I think I have a problem with dementors sir, and I truly hope to never see another of those things again.

When it was all said and done, no one tried to stop me when I let the muggles go, and I even got a local wizard to obliviate the lad I'd been sent to retrieve, convinced him that he'd had a little much to drink and dropped him with the unit.

Apparently my tantrum had an additional effect though, as the next morning, every one of our boys that had gone missing showed up at the docks with no memory of how they'd gotten there or where they'd been.

And so I'm being reassigned. Apparently the local guild representative contacted Smythe and stated that our boys would be off limits so long as I was shipped out of India. Apparently my beating a dementor to death (are they even alive?) and destroying the marketplace upset them a bit. Now, I get to escort the boys back home so they can be checked out by doctors, then I will get new orders. Also Smythe asked me to pass along a request to you, he would like ministry obliviators to check the boys out on the side to make sure the locals didn't mess up their heads to badly.

I hope you like my spelling and grammar, as Smythe made me write my report and this letter over and over again all night till he was satisfied with it.

My hand hurts;

Hagrid

ps. I'm going to be sending the cloak and the hags statue to you while I'm in London, and I was wondering if you could check the cloak out. It doesn't fit like my first one or keep me comfortable at all. If I didn't know any better I would say it was normal cloth. As for the statue, you can keep that or break it. Aside from my cloak, I want nothing to do with those nasty beasties.

Professor;

I write this as I sit once more on this god forsaken boat on my way back home. Smythe has pulled some strings to get me assigned with a relative of his in Scotland, a Frank Smythe who runs some sort of mountain training camp in Braemar. The Sgt seems to feel that my giant heritage will serve me in good stead or something, and that his cousin will help me move a bit quieter. I'll believe that when I see it.

I will meet up with your man at the leaky as soon as I am free to do so, hopefully the locals did the job right, but you never know.

Well, it seems that your owl is getting impatient, so I will wrap this up.

Hating the open water;

Hagrid

Professor;

I don't suppose I can count on you to hide me after I murder Sgt Smythe? As it turns out, his 'mountain training camp' is in actuality the Commando Mountain and Snow Warfare training camp, also lovingly known as hell on earth. I cannot believe he sent me here. Then again, after the handwriting fiasco I should have known the man was a sadist.

Still, it is not all that bad, and with the war starting to wind down, it seems that i'm going to be here for a while.

Bored and Annoyed;

Hagrid

Professor;

It seems that the sergeants gall knows no bounds. Here I thought that I was here for training and possibly a post to end my enlistment in.

No such luck it would seem.

What I want to know is how a bloody Yeti made its way into the highlands. Yes, a bloody Yeti! Which I might add hits really damn hard and don't appreciate it when you get between it and the trainee it wants to eat. Not one of my brighter moments I will freely admit. On the other hand, Mr. Yeti did not appreciate it when I introduced it to the Brem light machine gun they had me training on.

The only real upside to this place is access to Hogsmeade and the ability send you the Yeti hide now that I have properly tanned it.

Unless I miss my guess, I will be shipping out soon. I'm beginning to realize that there is a rather extensive network of squibs in the army and I feel that I am likely going to end up someplace with a problem the muggles cant handle. Not quite what I envisioned when I signed up, but I find my need for action is being slowly sated.

Bruised but Wiser

Hagrid