Amnesia

Chapter 10

Hello my dear readers! I finally updated!

So so sorry that I didn't write for so long! I just couldn't find the will to start writing again, plus the workload From school is pretty intense as well (trying to get a high mark so I can get into UBC). I also just got a job, so it's hard juggling everything at once. But last night I couldn't fall asleep, so I began to think about my stories again, from a new perspective!

I'm afraid, however, that this is not my best chapter ever. In fact, I'm very disappointed in myself. But it had been so long since an update, I decided to just post it. Please don't judge me on this one.

And, now, I present to you, Amnesia, Chapter 10!

-Radish

At first Natsu was distrusting of the soothing presence of Wendy's magic.

After so many days of living in his personal Hell, the sudden sweetness of the air and calmness of spirit was alarming to him. He had suffered for so long that he had nearly forgotten the feeling of contentment.

He was at home, in Fairy Tail, and surrounded by his family. He was no longer alone in his fight. They loved him, and would do anything to help him.

Like he would for them.

His shoulders relaxed slightly, but these thoughts only served to frighten him. Natsu tried to stop the onslaught of horrible images, but they poured forth all the same. He couldn't be helped and he knew it. There was nothing in this whole magical world that could save him... Yet he let Wendy use waste her magic on him anyway.

He'd resisted any help for so long, so why did he weaken under her steady gaze? Why did he let himself be convinced? Is a little part of him still hoping to be cured?

He closed his eyes and sunk into his bed, careful not to jostle the little girl at his bedside. All the fatigue the past day had brought overwhelmed him all at once. He breathed hard and tried to calm down. Gajeel leaned against the wall cooly, his red eyes surveying the scene and his face unreadable.

They cared about him, but he really couldn't burden them any longer. Tomorrow...

Suddenly, Wendy's limp body flew backwards into the wall on the other side. There had been no warning. Her small back crashed into the wall with a deafening crack. Then she slid to the carpet in a heap.

His throat dried up. No words would come to his lips.

He saw her eyes open wide with fear and her mouth unhinge in a silent scream. Then, she was unconscious. The way the light faded from her eyes and her twitching limbs stilled shocked him beyond words. His little sister...

He could hear the frantic footsteps of his nakama thudding up the stairs. Their voices faraway and unimportant. The world had stopped moving.

Say something!

The silence shattered and the planet turned again. Oxygen flooded his lungs and he heard a hoarse cry. Only then did he realize that he had been holding his breath. He felt the pain in his legs as they folded under his body. Then Natsu crumpled. "Wendy!" His outstretched arm could not reach her. The distance seemed too great, too long. When did this room get so large?

His saw his hand stretch toward her, trembling. The hand that he knew so well was shaking. The hand that had dragged many a friend and many an enemy through hard times and fearful moments was shaking.

"Wendy..." He crawled toward her, inch by inch, painful but determined. Through the haze he saw Gajeel swoop to her side, his great black figure dwarfing the little girl.

For a second nothing moved. Then Gajeel stood up slowly, cradling Wendy in his arms. In a flash he was gone and the door slammed shut in Natsu's face.

"Gajeel!" Levy flew up the stairs, her eyes wide with worry. "Gajeel, what happened? There was a thud-" Her eyes fell on the limp figure of the air dragonslayer and uttered an exclamation.

Red met hazel and they ran together down the stairs.

Natsu sat there on the carpet for what felt like forever. He gazed dumbly at the door, at the wall, at the dent Wendy had made, and at his hands.

They wouldn't stop shaking.

Sweet Wendy had offered to help him. And he had let her.

He looked at that dent she made on the wall. He looked at his hands. He watched them tremble, like the hands of an infirm weakling.

How would he be able to protect his loved ones with these trembling hands? How would he defeat their enemies with these shaking limbs?

All the frustrations he had kept locked up, all the pain he had hid away, all the anger rushed at him all at once. The dam he had built around his feelings erupted and the raging waters poured forth.

"DAMN IT!" he felt a drop of water on his hand. He looked down through a blurry film of tears.

Oh, now the weakling was crying too.

And something inside him snapped.

"DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL!"

His fist crashed into the wall and he felt it go through. The pain of even just a punch sent him spiraling into a rage. He would show the pain who was boss. He was strong. He was Natsu and he was strong. He was the strongest. He would mow down the enemies.

And this stupid wall was his number one enemy.

Hole after hole he made. The wall shuddered. Dust covered the carpet. Pieces of wood flew in all directions. He could feel the blood on his hands.

Red.

Raw.

Painful.

But he had enough of pain. The pain of losing his friends, losing Igneel, losing himself. Hadn't he had enough pain?

He roared defiantly. The sound reverberated through the apartment and everyone fell silent at once. Their blood seemed to run cold and pool at their feet.

Wendy gasped in her slumber. All turned to her, yet no one moved. Then, her eyes flew open and she screeched in utter horror, her hands flying to cover herself as if her feeble limbs could offer any protection against her invisible assailant.

Everyone shuddered and seemed to rush to her at once. How had this happy visit turned to this... This... This tragedy? From upstairs the roar continued to assault their ears. in front of them, Wendy whimpered in fear. What was going on?

Levy patted Wendy gently and spoke soothingly to her. But the whimpering never stopped and the arms never came away from her body. And those eyes... Her eyes continued to stare past everyone in panic and dread.

He opened his mouth again and the sound that poured forth was painful to listen to. Some part of him grimaced and screamed at him to stop, but the boy went on howling. No, howling was a much too mundane word for that. He was pouring his soul out through his voice.

The red scales on his shoulder crept down his arm slowly, setting his arm on fire. It burned like the fires of Hell were licking his arm, beckoning him to the world below. The scales climbed, unrelenting and unforgiving. Up his neck the scales came, precariously.

Stop. STOP. STOP IT!

His hands bled onto the carpet, a crimson so dark it looked black. His mouth was opened so wide that he thought his jaw would unhinge and his lips would rip apart. His eyes bulged out with the pain. Where the pain came from he did not know. It seemed to be everywhere, torturing him. Somewhere in his mind, a dim thought came, telling him that if he stopped roaring the pain might stop.

But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. He wasn't letting go of the anger and frustration. HE COULDN'T STOP.

He knew his throat was raw and his voice hoarse, but the sound just kept going. How long has it been? An eternity? He tried to move, tried to see, but his body was not his own. A blood red haze floated across his vision, and the world seemed to flip dangerously.

Please... Somebody save him...

"Wendy! WENDY!" Levy called, scared to death by her friend's behavior.

"STOP! Help! Someone save me! Please!"

Her eyes were unseeing, rolling around in her head like she was trying to look at everything at once. But her voice was like a dagger into the hearts of her comrades.

"NATSU-SAN! Stop! He's not dead! Why do you lie?" she screamed, and tears streamed down her cheeks. Unstoppable.

Gajeel flinched at her words and his eyes snapped to the stairs. He started to rise, but a soft touch from Levy stopped him.

She shook her head softly. "Lu-chan went already."

Help...

The bright light at the end of the tunnel grew closer. And he welcomed it.

Then, suddenly, it was gone. He could see again. He could hear again. He could smell again.

The smell of his own blood was thick in the air and...

His eyes snapped down to the girl clutching him to her chest. He could smell the coppery blood pouring from her back.

Lucy!

He tried to talk, but found that he had no voice. The smell of blood and the sweet vanilla scent in the air was making him sick.

He made a move to pry her off of him, but gasped at the sharp pain the movement brought him. He shut his eyes then opened them again.

"It's okay, Natsu." Big brown eyes and a weak smile met his gaze.

"You're okay now." Her smile grew wider. "Don't hurt yourself again, dummy. Promise me."

He felt a soft tug on his hand, then the feeling of a pinky wrapping around his own.

"A promise is a promise." She closed her eyes and sighed. Her breath feathered over his chest. Her hand crept up his arms and her fingers ran over the tender red scales that now covered his arm. He hissed at the unexpected touch.

"Why didn't you tell me, Natsu?"

Her eyes locked unto his with a ferocity he did not think she was able to muster. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

He noticed red rimming her eyes. "How could you keep this to yourself?!" She was furious as she gestured to his body. "We're nakama! We're best friends!"

She let go of him and tried to stand up, but stumbled. For the first time, his foggy mind realized that she was injured. The paleness of her face, the way her features contorted every time she moved, and her dilated pupils all seemed to jump out at him at the same time.

Go! Get away from me!

The words just stuck in his throat. He couldn't say anything to her. How many times had she saved him? How many times had she rescued him from himself and the demons that live in him?

She leaned against the wall heavily and panted. "Natsu, please. Please don't suffer by yourself!"

Lucy watched the boy she loved sitting there on her blood-stained carpet, filled to the brim with pain, tortured and haggard. Those powerful eyes she'd often admired were weak and undecided, torn between two hard decisions.

He sat there quietly, clutching his injured hand like a hurt child. Defenseless. Needy. So helpless. His eyes seemed so large..

Lucy slid downward until she felt the softness of her carpet. She clutched the fibers and tried to steady herself. Her mind was whirling, yet nothing but a deep sadness seemed to register in her head. Black and white spots danced through her vision, obscuring Natsu from her sight.

Yet...

The greatest obstacle between them was the barrier that he had built up to protect.

To protect whom? His friends or himself?

The last things she saw before the darkness settled in were those eyes. Those pleading, vulnerable eyes..

.

One onyx black.

The other molten, fiery gold.

"Come quick! She's awake!"

The light was blinding. Through the haze, she made out a figure hovering over her. Pink hair...

"Natsu?" She croaked tiredly and tried to lift her hand. She needed to feel his face, to make sure he was really there.

"No, it's Old lady Porlyusica!" The voice, jesting, warm, and obviously drunk, replied with a laugh. A noisy complaint of human rudeness followed. A brown-haired figure appeared, also blurry. But it was unmistakably Cana.

Lucy closed her eyes. "Thank you Porlyusica-san. Thanks Cana. What happened..?" The sunlight filtered through her eyelids, turning her darkness a peachy orange hue.

"You lost a good deal of blood from deep gashes in your back." Porlyusica replied impassively.

"A coupla more minutes and you woulda been a goner!" Cana added helpfully with a giggle. "Natsu ain't in such great shape though, but Obaa-san over here reckons he'll be alright. Gosh I was so afraid NaLu wouldn't happen- Hey, what're ya doin'?!"

She disappeared, dragged away by a grumpy ice mage. His blue-haired companion glared suspiciously after them,then turned to the blonde girl who had now struggled into a sitting position. Juvia huffed, annoyed. "Cana-san is too... Liberal."

Lucy touched Juvia's wrist. "Please... What happened to Natsu? Is he here? Is he okay?"

Juvia looked down and found herself drowning in those big, brown eyes. She gulped. "Natsu-san is fine." A moment's hesitation. "But Porlyusica-san is trying to find out what's happening to him. He refuses to talk to anyone, though..." She trailed off, worried for her friend.

"Is it... About his arm?"

Juvia's gaze turned to her. "Yes. Now his eye has also been taken."

"Taken?"

Juvia's nodded. "We think it's some sort of infection. It slowly spread to the rest of his body and nothing seems to be able to stop its growth. It seems to cause him immense pain too! But he refuses to speak a word!" She stomped, frustrated.

Lucy's brows furrowed. "Can I talk to him?" She looked up imploringly at her friend. Under those pools of chocolate brown, her brain was already working hard. "I think I know what's going on."

Juvia's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Please tell Juvia!"

Lucy shook her head. "It's just a theory," she admitted, "I need to confirm it with him before I can tell anybody else. "

The water mage nodded reluctantly, obviously disappointed. "I guess you could-"

"She is not moving from that bed!" Porlyusica's grumpy voice screeched from the other room. Lucy's shoulders slumped.

Juvia looked away. It pained her to see her friend unable to go to her lover's side. Then her brain started to create fantasies of her and Gray as doomed lovers separated by the cruel hand of fate. She sighed dreamily.

"Oi, Juvia! Where's Lucy?" The beautiful voice of her beloved Gray broke into her thoughts.

"Oh, Gray-sama!" She leapt toward him in a storm of love. He shivered and backed away.

"Where's Lucy?" He repeated, staring at the bed. "Obaa-san told me to come check on her."

"Eh?" Juvia turned slowly around, blinking.

Lucy was gone.

Lucy stumbled along the halls of the house. Her limbs felt like lead. Her head felt light and her chest felt too tight, but she kept going anyway. Where was Natsu's room?

She heard voices behind her and picked up her pace as best she could. Her legs barely supported her body and she twisted her ankle in her haste. She winced, but carried on. She had to see Natsu.

The wall she was using for support suddenly slanted, and she fell sideways into a large room. She dragged herself toward the large cabinet in the room and curled up in its shadow, breathing hard. A sheen of sweat coated her forehead and she wiped it off with her sleeve.

The sound of footsteps grew closer and paused outside the door. She recognized Gray's voice. She prayed that he would not come into the room.

"Natsu! Hey, flame-brain! "

Lucy noticed for the first time the bed across the room. The bed sheets ruffled in response. She felt her pulse race even faster. Natsu!

"Have you seen Lucy? She's running around here somewhere without enough blood! If you care about her, help us look for her! She could seriously hurt herself."

A pair of eyes peeked out from the darkness of the bed covers, and they looked right. at. her.

Shit. Forgot about his crazy smelling powers.

She shook her head furiously and put her finger to her lip. The eyes disappeared.

"Gray-sama! Wendy's waking up!" Juvia's joyous voice echoed down the hall.

Lucy heard a slapping sound from the doorway. "Dammit. Too many things going on today. Well, Natsu, if she comes to you, tell me. She needs a blood transplant."

She heard his footsteps fade away and breathed a sigh of relief.

She looked up, and the eyes were back. "Natsu!"

She sprung from her hiding spot and tripped toward the bed. She needed to see him! She need to tell him that it was okay, and that no matter what happened, she would be here for him.

"No, Luce. Stay away."

She froze. The voice was hoarse, tired, and hopeless. It held so much sadness in the quality that she stopped in her tracks.

Then, the dizziness was back with a vengeance. She'd stood up too quickly, and she didn't have enough blood. The floor grew closer and-

Then Natsu was by her side, protecting her. She struggled to turn to him, but he held her facing the other way.

"Please. Don't look at me." She shivered at his soft whisper.

"Natsu, tell me what's wrong."

"No."

She punched his arm angrily. "Why not?"

"Because I love you."

She choked on her words. "Ehhhhh?"

She'd imagined what he would say, what she would say, and how she would act if this actually happened one day. Under the cherry blossom tree, in front of the guild, in her room... But not like this. Not with her half-dead from blood loss and him...

His grip on her waist loosened a little and he whispered in her ear. "Yeah, you heard right, Luce. I love you. I'll say it a million times. But that's why I have to-"

Then he realized she was crying. Her body shook with her sobs. Oh, how he hated to see her cry. Natsu left go of her and stumbled back a few steps.

"You idiot!" She stomped. "Natsu you're the biggest idiot ever!" She spun around and looked him full in the face.

He felt her gaze travel across his features and looked away. She would leave. She would scream. She would try to forget him after he left. Well, at least he would have the happy memories of the time they had spent together.

"Hey, why the sad face, idiot?" She was right in front of him now, smiling through her tears. She reached up and pulled the corners of his mouth up with her thumbs. "Smile! See, now that's better!" She grinned at him.

He stared at her, dumbfounded. Why was she smiling like that? Her smile made his heart skip a beat.

"Let's face this together, Natsu. Let's face the future together." She grabbed his hand.

"Please, Natsu. Let me help you!"

He opened his mouth to protest, but she shushed him with a peck on the lips.

"Because, dummy, I love you too."

Ugh. Finally done another chapter! I hate writing so much, but I can't seem to cut anything down! I need an editor!

Anyway, it's not great, but I think it moves the story along a little faster. Sorry I don't actually plan stuff out like good writers do, so the plot is all over the place. And I suck at writing anything close to romantic, because I am forever alone. *tears*

Oh, well. Whatever. 'Kay, thanks for reading! See you next chapter! (I have no idea when that's gonna be.)

-Radish