A/N: Eh. Got bored. Decided to write this up. Don't judge me. .3. Hope you all like it, though, especially since I've never wrote a crude fanfic like this before.

And, also, I figured The Hangover needed a more girly touch to it, rather than have all the...well, you know.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HANGOVER

"I just don't understand why I have to go, too," I grumbled harshly, watching as Tracy hung up the phone. She was still doing the last minute changes to the wedding, but she didn't seem very happy at the results. "Yeah we all went to high school together, but back then they were a trio and I was the band geek they bet wouldn't get laid until I was forty."

"Well, they were wrong then, you got laid when you were twenty," she teased, smirking slightly as she wrote something down on her notepad. I suppose she was still trying to change the dresses since she didn't like the color Mom had chosen. "And Alan doesn't want to feel completely alone; he wants his sister there, too."

"Yeah, and I'm also your sister, too, I'm supposed to be going to the bachelorette party-not the bachelor," I complained. "Besides, you know Doug's friends-Phil was the bastard who wouldn't stop picking on me and Stu was the ass who didn't stick up for anyone but his two friends. I'm sure Doug was the only cool one, but I'm pretty sure he was the one who snuck pink hair dye into my shampoo bottle when I went to take a shower after gym." I shuddered at the memory.

"Okay, well don't do this for Alan. Do it for me instead. As a sister, as my baby sister, will you do this one favor for me, please?" she said, holding both of my hands in hers. I stared at her with a pout. Of course she'd pull the whole guilt trip on me, and it was perfect timing to do so since it was her wedding this was all for. "Jackie, it's my wedding, and Alan's having a tough time with it, I just want to get him back on his feet."

"Which he's been off of since the zoo when we were all in junior high! That lion was in its mating season, I swear to God," I growled, rolling my eyes.

"We vowed never to speak of that again," she hissed, before staring at me hopefully, "I am begging you. I swear I'll owe you one."

"Owe me two and we'll have a deal," I promised. She sighed, thinking for a moment, before nodding. "Alright, then. I'll go and tell Alan the great news." Whipping around, I stormed out of the room and into another where I knew Alan and Doug, my sister's fiancé, were in.

"Knock, knock," I sang as I strolled in.

"Hey, Jackie," Doug greeted with a nod as he fixed the cuffs on the suit he was wearing.

"Doug," I replied warmly before looking at Alan, "Hey Alan, I gave some thought onto your offer."

"So how about it? I swear if you get drunk I'll hold your hair," he promised. I shook my head.

"I'll do it. Who knows it may be kind of fun," I smiled fakely. Sure I loved Alan to death, but he was such a handful at the most times.

"That's great. I bet Stu and Phil will be happy to hear about that," Doug grinned, looking up at me.

"Wow! Watch it, pervert!" Alan suddenly shouted to the tailor who was fixing his outfit up.

"It's alright, Alan," Doug stated without emotion, "He's just doing your in-seem."

"He's getting very close to my shaft!" Alan complained.

"All done!" the tailor announced, seeming almost relieved that he was finished. "You can change now.

"Thanks, Floyd," Doug praised the tailor. When the tailor left, Doug finally said, "Alright, guys, we should get a move on."

I looked away as they changed, substituting to looking at the wall instead. Alan was way too comfortable to change in front of me, but Doug made sure I wasn't looking as he changed.

"You know, Doug," Alan suddenly said, his voice low, "You know, if you want to go to Vegas without Jackie and me, it's totally cool, you know. We can go to my sister's bachelorette party instead."

"No," I denied, still looking at the wall. I can't imagine the damage that can be caused if Alan would go to the bachelorette party.

"Yeah, Alan, what are you talking about?" Doug asked concerned.

"Well, you know, Phil and Stu, they're your buddies and it's your bachelor party..." Alan's voice trailed off.

"C'mon, Alan, those two love you, you and Jackie, actually," he said, adding me into the mix. I narrowed my eyes hotly. I don't even know if I like Phil and Stu or not. Sure, we've all grown from high school and we forgave each other even if we never said it straight forward, but the memories still bother me and all I want to do is throw those two off an escalator. I've seen them a couple of times when Tracy brought me on her dates with Doug. Back then Phil had had a wife, but they divorced after a couple of months, and Stu's girlfriend was a total bitch. Anyway, we were all cool friends, if you'd go that far, but now it seemed more like just a dream because all I was remembering were the bad times.

Alan began stuttering for words, not finding the right ones. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to hold back because your wife's brother and sister are there, you know?"

"It's not like that-" Doug suddenly cut himself off. I didn't even want to know why, but I knew it was something to do with Alan. "It's not like that, I already told you, Alan. We're just spending the night in Vegas. It's no big deal. Your sister doesn't seemed too worried."

"Only because nothing can be worse than the time at the zoo back in junior hi-"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!" Alan interrupted angrily. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT THE LION DID!"

Doug coughed awkwardly, before continuing, "Besides, neither of you are not just my wife's brother and sister. You're my brother and sister now."

"Ewe, no," I said, cringing.

"I want you to know, Doug," Alan said, "I-I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it." He sounded so serious. I raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I got it. Thank you. I don't think that-" Alan cut him off.

"Seriously, I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone," Alan whispered.

"What?" Doug sounded shocked.

"Alan, I-I don't think we'll-" This time, he cut me off.

"You both heard me, Jacqueline, it's Sin City," Alan explained. "I won't tell a soul."

"Okay, I got it," Doug replied weakly. "Thank you..."

"No, thank you," Alan said, "I love you so much..." Another moment passed before Alan suddenly called, "Jacqueline, join us." Confused, I turned around and jumped back with a yelp and wide eyes. Alan was clinging to Doug in nothing but a jock strap and shirt.

"No thanks," I whimpered, looking away awkwardly.

"Ha! I knew it!" Dad strolled in with a smile. Doug and Alan finally released each other.

Tracy followed behind him. "Dad!"

"Oh, stop it. I was just joking around. Alan, put some pants on, you have weird legs," Dad said, before looking at me. "Jackie! What did you say to the offer?"

"I'm going to Vegas," I grinned.

"That's my girl!" he praised. I nodded, laughed a bit, before leaving the room, feeling the awkwardness to be too much. I guess I am going to Vegas. I just wonder what Phil and Stu will say once they've found out I agreed...

A/N: Well, there you go! And I bet you're wondering about the lion incident. c; You'll find out later, but it's not really important to the story. Also Jackie is sort of a really mean character, as you see, but she can be cool...sometimes. Anywho, hoped you liked it. R&R!