Yes, it's been a while. And yes, I have now gotten really into Supernatural. I've watched the entire series to date twice since I started it at the end of April. But I've been really happy to find that this fandom is quite normal and it's got some really intelligent people in it who create magnificent stories and works of art.

I think I meant for this to be shorter, but it got away from me and I kept thinking of more things to add to it, so here it is. Enjoy!

Coming Out With Dean

"Hey, uh…Sam?" Dean forced the words out against his better judgment, and winced afterwards.

"Yeah, Dean?" his brother answered without looking up from the massive tome on the table in front of him.

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but found that he couldn't. He leaned back in his chair across the table and slowly closed the book in his hands. He drummed his fingers nervously on the cover.

Sam looked up from the open book beneath his nose and eyed his brother uncertainly. "What?" he asked again.

Dean honestly was going to say it, but it was easier when Sam wasn't looking at him so he bit his tongue.

"Nothing. Never mind," he dismissed quickly, opening his book up again and flipping through the pages until he found where he'd left off. He determinedly read the same line over and over again, hoping that Sam would go back to his reading and stop staring at him so intently. He began to feel heat creep up his neck under his brother's watch.

"Dean, what is it?" Sam asked one more time. He set his book down quietly on the table. "Obviously something is bothering you, so what is it?"

Dean couldn't bring himself to meet Sam's eyes. The heat spread from his neck to his cheeks as the shame swept through him.

"I need…" He voice cracked and he tried again, dropping his head. "I need to tell you something…about me…and you can't be judgmental," he said softly.

"Oh-kay," Sam said, now beginning to worry. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge you."

Dean took a deep breath and raised his face to the ceiling. "I'm gay, Sam," he said on the exhale. His brother was silent for a few seconds too long, and Dean finally lowered his gaze to look him in the eye.

"Did you just tell me you're…gay?" Sam asked, not sure if he had heard him correctly.

"Yeah, I did," Dean stated, watching Sam's face carefully. His confusion was written clear as day across his face, and he still wasn't saying anything in response.

"Well, say something!" Dean burst out, tired of waiting for the verdict.

"Um, well…okay," Sam stammered. Dean gestured for him to elaborate. "I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around my brother—my bang 'em and leave 'em, clearly into chicks because he fucks them all the time brother—telling me he's gay. I mean, you lived with Lisa and Ben for a year! You probably would have married her, too, if I didn't butt in to save your poisoned ass." Sam looked around as if searching for a sign to tell him he was asleep. Dean looked down again, ashamed.

"I never had sex with Lisa," he mumbled, folding his fingers together and gripping them tightly.

"Wait…what?" Sam asked incredulously, standing up and starting to pace, running his hands through his hair.

"I don't know, man, something happened to me after you were gone," Dean admitted quietly. "We tried, for weeks, but I could never get it up. I thought it was the grief…but even after we were back, and after you got your soul back, I just wasn't interested anymore. Then I was too upset at what Cas was doing and busy with everything that was happening with Dick Roman to think about it too much, and then I was in purgatory…with Cas." Sam stopped pacing to stare at him, afraid to speak his conclusion out loud.

"You mean…you and—"

"Cas," Dean interrupted, leveling him with the look he usually reserved for Crowley. "That's what I said. I didn't want to believe that my problem was because I was into dudes. So when we were both safe…he saw what was going on and sat in some park with me and we just watched people, and I worked it out. And then I got drunk and fucked a guy, and I was back in business."

Sam stood silently behind one of the chairs at the table as he struggled to process everything Dean was telling him. "How long have you known?" he asked finally.

"About a year," Dean said, watching his brother nod slowly. "I tried it with a girl again after that, just to see, and it worked, but it wasn't the same. It's like I thought I was enjoying myself all those years but now I know the real definition of enjoyment. The thing with Cas…he asked one day after he got his mojo back and I said yes. I didn't think it would be that good, though." He waggled his eyebrows with a suggestive grin.

"Please don't give me details," Sam groaned, sitting back down across from his brother and covering his ears. Dean smirked.

"Well, it was really good," he said anyway. "So it just kept happening. And then I realized that it was all about Cas for a long time before I even figured the rest of it out. Ever since the first time I saw him in that barn, it's like I was being drawn to him, you know? I thought it was because of that bond he's always saying we have because he's the one who saved me."

Dean trailed off as he recalled how their magnetic chemistry had weirded him out at first. He laughed a little at how ignorant he'd been then and got up to pour himself some bourbon. At Sam's silence, he looked over his shoulder to see his brother sitting with his hands folded in front of him, staring pensively down at them. He crossed the room and resumed his seat across the table.

"What?" Dean demanded and took a long drink from his glass. Sam looked up, startled.

"Nothing," he said defensively. "I didn't want to interrupt the most emotion that's ever come from your mouth at once."

"Bitch," Dean scowled. "I'm trying to explain, so you don't think it's weird."

"Oh, it's pretty weird," Sam said, and Dean opened his mouth to retort. "Because you're my brother, and Cas is my friend. Wouldn't it be weird for you if I was screwing one of Cas's brothers if he had one? Or if I was screwing one of your friends?"

"I don't have friends," Dean replied, as if that was obvious.

"Shut up. Finish your explanation," Sam complained.

Dean glared at him, but continued. "Anyway, after you jumped into the pit, Cas stopped coming around and I didn't realize until last year how much it messed with me. When he was back, I started picking up girls just to keep my reputation, but none of them really took. Then I thought I was just getting old and it didn't matter anymore. But Cas was always in the back of my mind. I knew he was looking out for me. I felt safe. Well, safer." He paused to down the rest of his drink.

"One night I was watching porn in a motel and there was this one bit with two dudes—" Sam balked, "—and I was so disgusted with myself because I actually liked it. Like, really liked it. I always assumed I was straight because that's what I was supposed to be and I never doubted it. But right then, I knew it wasn't really me. So that's when I changed and man, I've never been happier. The world is not about to explode any second and I've got Cas," he finished with a grin.

There was a moment of silence as Sam adjusted to this new side of his brother.

"Alright, but it's still weird because you're fucking my friend," Sam insisted. He made a face and went back to skimming the thick book for any mention of sunlight-fearing creatures.

"So…we good?" Dean asked, because he hadn't really gotten anything big from Sam like he was expecting to.

"Yeah, Dean, we're good," Sam said honestly. "You are who you are, and you're still my brother."

Dean smiled a little and nodded slowly, grateful that his brother had a surprisingly good head on his shoulders, given the upbringing he'd had.

"Good," Dean agreed, and then turned his eyes skyward. "Castiel, you can come down now."

"No, do not do anything in front of me," Sam protested just as there was a rustle of fabric and Castiel said, "Hello Dean." He watched in horror as his friend headed straight for his brother and bent over to kiss him soundly, Dean's hand coming up to his neck to pull him closer. Their kiss deepened, Cas leaning on the back of the chair for support, and Sam cleared his throat pointedly. When they appeared to not hear him and tongue became involved, he coughed loudly and slammed the volume shut on the table. Cas jumped and stood up straight, though he looked decidedly not abashed, and Dean gave him a can't-you-see-we're-busy look.

"Hello, Sam," Cas said in greeting, as if he just realized he was sitting there.

"Look, guys," Sam started in objection. "I don't care what you two do in private, but I don't want to see it, and I don't want to hear it. Okay? Please."

Dean looked up and Cas and they had some sort wordless conversation punctuated by Dean's raised eyebrow and a slight tilt of Cas's head. They both nodded slightly and turned back to Sam.

"Deal," Dean agreed with a completely straight face. Then he got up and they left Sam sitting at the table with his books and his laptop. They headed straight for Dean's bedroom, where Cas was bodily pushed up against the door when they got inside and kissed sweetly. Cas returned his enthusiasm for a few seconds, but then Dean found himself shoved up against the wall instead with his lover peering at him through narrowed eyes.

"What did Sam say?" he asked in his deep voice that reminded Dean of the grumble of his baby's engine. He had to blink once to get his brain focused on the body pressed fully against him rather than Impala-hood sex.

"I have his full support," Dean answered with a matter-of-fact nod. "Now let's get to celebrating." He leaned in to seal their lips together again, but Cas pulled his head back just out of Dean's reach. He opened his eyes in confusion and the hunger he saw in the tense lines of Cas's face and neck caused a lightning bolt of arousal to shoot straight downward.

"I would prefer to be in charge of the celebrating this time," Cas said lowly, giving his hips a little nudge forward and making Dean shudder in response. Dean deliberated on his decision for a moment—he had never bottomed before, but wasn't averse to the idea either—ultimately choosing to trust Cas.

"Okay, just go easy on me," he said nervously.

Cas titled his head to the side. "Are you worried?" he asked curiously.

"What? No, of course I'm not worried," Dean spluttered with an awkward chuckle, his eyes darting leftward.

"I have been on the receiving end of your actions many times, Dean. I know what I am doing," Cas assured him, resting one palm gently against the side of Dean's neck.

Dean felt his dick twitch in excitement at Castiel's words. He licked his lips and they parted slightly as his breathing picked up. The angel returned his lips to Dean's, licking them and nipping at his lower one just enough to make him groan quietly. He guided them to the bed slowly, dropping his coat and jacket and pushing Dean's shirt off his shoulders on the way. He drew his fingers up Dean's arms and he shivered in delight just before falling backwards into the memory foam with Cas on top of him. Their jostling as they made impact caused Cas's hardness to brush against Dean's hip. Dean thrust his hips upward in an effort to get some friction for his own hard cock but Cas kneeled back abruptly, his chest heaving and his hair sticking up at odd angles.

"Cas, don't be a tease," Dean complained. He had taught him too well.

Cas began to unbutton his dress shirt and Dean dropped one of his hands to palm his own erection through his jeans, needing instant gratification. He hissed in relief at the heel of his hand pressing against himself, but Castiel abruptly paused in his stripping and slapped his hand away.

"Hey!" Dean cried indignantly, sitting up in protest.

"You will refrain from pleasuring yourself until I say so," Castiel commanded in what Dean thought of as his "angel voice". Dean's jaw positively dropped open as Cas quickly pulled his henley up and over his head and shoved his chest so that he was promptly lying down again. His breathing had become ragged with disbelief and arousal; he really liked it when Castiel took charge.

Cas loosened his tie some more and pulled it over his head as he stood up from Dean's lap. He let his shirt fall to the floor beside the bed and hastened to drop his trousers and boxers in one fell swoop. Dean licked his lips as his angel's erection bobbed free, the head of it inflamed with veins standing out along the shaft. Cas grasped it in his own hand and pushed through his fist a few times with a quiet sigh as his eyes slipped closed. Dean had to clench his fists in the sheets beside him to keep from touching himself at the sight.

Cas dragged his eyes open and let go of himself to return to the task at hand. He reached for Dean's belt and undid the buckle teasingly slowly. When he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down—oh, the sweet relief!—he was very careful not to let his fingers brush against Dean at all, which only sent him even closer to whining.

"Cas," Dean ground out through clenched teeth. "You're killing me here."

Castiel, who had been tucking his fingers under the waist of Dean's jeans, pulled his hands away slowly and stood at the edge of the bed without moving until Dean stopped squirming. When he was still for what had to have been a full two minutes, his boxer-briefs tenting achingly out through the open zipper of his jeans, Cas finally reached for him once more. Dean watched as the corner of his mouth quirked up just the slightest bit. The bastard was enjoying this! He set his jaw in a hard line in an effort to calm himself down a little, since it looked like this was going to require all of his patience and control.

Finally, Cas's fingers slipped into the front of his underwear and tugged them down under his cock, although he still managed to not touch his skin. The rest of Dean's clothing was pulled off all at once with a sigh of relief on his part. His erection stood up a bit from his abdomen, begging for some sort of contact as Cas regarded him with cool calculation.

Without the slightest change in his expression, Cas stepped forward and kneeled above Dean's hips without touching him however close he got, which was very close. He dropped his hands to the bed on either side of Dean's head and leaned down, bringing his lips to brush against Dean's with the lightest of touches.

"Cas," Dean groaned. He picked his head up and pushed their mouths together hard, relishing the sensation of Cas's tongue pushing back against his. He raised himself to his elbows, forcing Cas to readjust and in turn drop his hips down just enough to give Dean something to grind up against. He released a grateful moan and there was a wet sound as their lips separated and his head fell back.

Cas sighed against his jaw and pulled his mouth down the side of Dean's neck. He had wanted to go slowly and drag it out for a while, teasing Dean torturously as he so often experienced himself, but the feeling of their lengths rubbing against one another's was already too much of a distraction. He seated himself more securely on Dean's lap and wrapped his fist around both of their erections at the same time with a breathy grunt. He bit down on his bottom lip when he started thrusting forward and tightened his hand around them.

Dean whimpered at the tight friction and picked his head up to watch his angel's face above him. Cas was biting down so hard on his lip that Dean was afraid he'd break the skin. He reached up and pulled Castiel's chin down with his thumb and finger to catch his attention with a breathy open-mouthed kiss. Their tongues brushed against each other's for a little bit, but then they were reduced to merely breathing the same air as the heat in their lower halves grew stronger with their continued thrusting into Castiel's tight fist.

"Cas!" Dean gasped, throwing his eyes open. "Gah! I'm close!"

Cas gave a few more concentrated strokes, and then he pushed Dean back abruptly, right on the precipice, and kneeled above him on his hands and knees with only the insides of his calves touching the outsides of Dean's thighs. He was breathing heavily and had to shake his head a few times to clear the lust-bunnies from it, but at least he was more composed than his partner. Dean had his fists clenched around Cas's thighs tight enough to definitely bruise, trying his damnedest both to not sob in frustration and not just jack himself that smallest bit to completion. He trusted that Cas wouldn't leave him hanging, but fuck he wanted to come already. He panted hard through his clenched teeth as Castiel watched him carefully, making sure he wasn't pushing Dean too hard despite his own aching arousal.

Gradually, Dean was able to loosen his grip on the muscles of Cas's thighs. Castiel took that as a sign that he could proceed, so he eased Dean's hands open and nudged him up the bed so that Dean was lying on it properly with his head on a pillow. He gently pushed Dean's knees up and back and instructed him to hold them there. Dean obliged wordlessly, the normal functioning of his brain seemingly interrupted for the time being. He idly watched Cas open the top drawer of the beside table and pull the tube of lube from within, then settle kneeling between Dean's legs.

The sound of the cap popping open and some gooiness being squirted reached Dean's ears and his hole unconsciously fluttered in response. Castiel set the tube down on the table next to them and leaned over Dean, holding himself up with one hand while the other one stayed down below. He kissed Dean tenderly, thanking him for letting their roles be reversed, and brought his lube-sticky fingers into contact with his hole.

"Relax, Dean," he murmured, and Dean's eyes dropped closed.

Castiel rubbed lightly with one finger until he felt the tight pucker release a little, and then he pushed the finger in up to the first knuckle. Slowly, he worked his finger in and out until most of it was inside of Dean, feeling the soft firmness of the muscle around it.

"More," Dean whispered to him, his eyes still closed as he began to pant through a slightly open mouth again. The feeling of having something prodding and stretching him from the outside was a sensation to get used to, but knowing what it was leading up to was enough to keep him wanting more.

Cas obeyed and pushed his second lubed finger past Dean's still-tight rim, working them in circles as well until he felt the muscle slacken enough to squeeze in a third, by which point Dean was gasping and pushing himself down on Cas's fingers. Castiel pressed around the inside of Dean's hole, searching for the place that would make him scream as it did for himself. Suddenly, his fingertips brushed against a firmer spot that made Dean open his eyes, and when he pushed up harder on it, he felt Dean's cock twitch hard against his stomach.

"Oh, more!" Dean moaned, throwing his head back into the pillow.

Castiel rubbed relentlessly on the small bulge until Dean couldn't stand it anymore and was positively squirming against Cas's hand and had to reach down and grab his wrist to speed things along.

"Get inside me," Dean ground out, teetering on the edge of delicious relief again as his hole fluttered at its emptiness. His arms were also starting to ache from holding his legs back.

Reaching for the lube again, Cas squeezed a bunch onto his already slippery hand. He replaced the tube on the table and spread the goo around his cock. He leaned back over Dean and touched the head against Dean's open hole. Dean glared at him impatiently until the head of it breached his entrance, and his eyes briefly lost their focus as Cas pushed steadily into him until he could feel Cas's balls pressed flush against his ass. Castiel began to rock slowly in and out of Dean's slick heat, giving him a chance to adjust before he inevitably picked up his pace.

Once the stretch of Cas's dick in his ass grew more pleasurable than uncomfortable, Dean pushed Cas up enough to get his feet on his shoulders. Cas held onto Dean's thighs for leverage and increased the speed of his thrusting until the force of it was rocking both of them and they were crying out in ecstasy.

"Cas, harder!" Dean groaned. Cas had to adjust his grip, and in doing so, he changed the angle of his thrusts just enough so that the head of his cock was rubbing against Dean's prostate with each drive. He had been so close for so long that the extra stimulation had him flying over the edge and Cas hadn't even touched his rock-hard erection at all.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted as he came so urgently that his vision was a little blurry afterwards. He shot all over both of their chests, leaving their skin covered in stripes of white.

"Ah, Dean!" Cas gasped, reaching his orgasm from the sight of watching Dean come. He emptied himself forcefully into Dean's stretched hole, filling him so full with his seed that some of it leaked out around his cock as he continued to drive into Dean through their tremors afterwards.

"Cas, pull out," Dean panted when he started to get grossed out by the slippery combination of lube and come in his sensitive hole.

Kneeling back and letting Dean's legs fall to the sides, Castiel did as he was told and eased his soft cock out of him.

"Ugh, gross," Dean complained when Cas's come started to leak out of his ass.

Cas was struck by sudden inspiration, and told Dean to roll over. He wiped his own come off his chest with a tissue first, and then turned onto his stomach. Castiel pulled his hips up in the air, but he was too spent to keep the rest of his body up, instead mushing his face into the pillow with a weary sigh.

Dean jumped when he felt the angel's tongue at his hole, licking up all the wetness. He gave a soft moan of appreciation as Cas's tongue slipped in and out, getting every last bit that might make Dean uncomfortable. He came away from Dean's skin with a wet pop when he was done, and Dean let himself fall onto the bed with Cas laid out against him. Dean turned his head to the side just enough to breathe and closed his eyes to take a nap.

"I love you, Cas," he mumbled out of the side of his mouth right before he drifted off.

"And I love you, Dean," Castiel responded quietly before closing his eyes as well.

Meanwhile, in the library:

Sam supposed he should have been grateful he didn't get a free show or a play-by-play commentary of his brother and Castiel's activities. As it was, the moans and growls he could hear were enough to send him flying across the table for his iPod in his duffle bag. He settled back into his chair with his headphones on and the volume turned up high, and thankfully he missed the rest of the sounds coming from Dean's bedroom.

This time, at least.

Thank you for reading!