A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm sorry I couldn't reply to them, especially the guest ones, but i'm very glad you guys are enjoying it. *clears throat* anyways, on with the story.

Merlin

Merlin felt like he was falling and drowning and burning as Arthur inspected the neckerchief. He cursed himself, rubbing his scars until it hurt. He knew one of the cuts had opened again because he could feel the blood snaking down his wrist and wetting his long shirt, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to care because Arthur knew.

Now, Arthur would know he was a monster, too.

/stupid/worthless/idiot/you'dbebetteroffdead/

Arthur opened his mouth, but Merlin was barely listening to his shaky what is this? and then he felt Arthur's hand on his shoulder and he looked into his friend's eyes and stopped. Arthur looked almost concerned for him, he looked... he didn't look like he was mad.

Merlin shook his head. He would be. He would be, and he would hate him, and it would all be for nothing. He would hate him if he knew, if he knew the truth.

He saw Arthur's eyes widen as the King caught sight of the blood spilling down his arm and Merlin no longer had the strength to stop him, and he just watched, limp, as Arthur pulled up his sleeve. He heard Arthur's breath catch in his throat, and when Merlin looked up again, the horror in Arthur's eyes felt like a slap.

He hates you now, too. Everyone hates you, Merlin.

"I..." Merlin didn't know what to say, his mouth open and his vision blurry. "I'm sorry," He said, hating that his voice cracked. Arthur looked at him, still stunned into silence, but Merlin didn't wait for him to answer. "I'm so sorry."

He put out his hand to stop his King from stepping any closer, and closed his eyes so that he didn't have to watch as Arthur sailed through the air, landing against a tree. He was unconscious.

Taking in a shaky breath, Merlin took a step back, and then another, and then he was running as the tears fell and his pulse pounded in his ears. The trees passed by him in a blur of color that he was blind to, and Merlin kept running as fast as he could to stop the thoughts, but it was no use.

I deserve to die. Death would be better than this, wouldn't it? Or maybe I don't. I probably deserve this pain. After all, I'm the reason that all of my friends are gone. I wasn't good enough for them. I'm not good enough for anything.

Merlin let out a sob as he saw the castle and he wondered if anything was worth it anymore.

He wasn't so sure that it was.

Gwaine

Gwaine didn't remember a lot about the night before, but he knew he hadn't been that drunk. He'd had bad hangovers before, sure, but none as bad as this. Gwaine was pretty sure that his head was going to split into two. Although, he winced as he rubbed his temple with one hand, vision still blurry, Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

He frowned as he sat up, the pain in his head slowly dulling to a faint banging. He wasn't in his own chambers, not even close. The air smelled faintly of herbs, and there was a cot in front of him, and...

Oh! His eyes widened as he began to piece together what had happened the night before. Merlin. Where was Merlin? He got up, faster than was probably wise, and looked around. Gaius's chambers were completely empty. There was no trace of his friend. Gwaine frowned, massaging his temples as he tried to remember what had happened. As he looked down, wondering where his shoes were - and why wasn't he wearing shoes? - he saw it.

The blood.

The floor was splattered with it, little splashes of dark brown color staining the pale wooden floor. Gwaine's breath caught in his throat, and even before he checked himself for an injury, he knew that the blood wasn't his. And then he remembered - the look in Merlin's eyes, the haunted expression, the way Merlin had screamed and then he'd been flying into a wall and then the world had gone dark. But that was impossible - how had Merlin, of all people, managed to throw him into a wall? And he hadn't been close to the wall, either. Slowly - he'd learned the hard way that sudden movements weren't such a good idea right now - he turned his head. He'd been standing right there, and he'd flown into the wall there... Gwaine shook his head, and then regretted it. There was no way Merlin had done that. Even Gwaine didn't think he'd be able to throw a full grown men almost ten feet into a wall with enough strength to knock him out.

But there hadn't been anyone else there.

And there was so much blood...

As Gwaine turned one last time, thoughts still murky and hands shaking, he caught a glimpse of himself in Gaius's mirror. He paused, the reflection of him staring him down. His hair was messy, and there were bags under his eyes. Somehow, he'd managed to lose his jacket and shoes last night, and his pants looked suspiciously undone. And was his shirt on backwards? He frowned, he could've sworn his shirt was white, but what were those stains?

And then his heart skipped a bit, because there were bloodstains all over his shirt and when he leaned in closer, he realized that they didn't look like they were coming from him. They looked like someone had been dripping blood on him. As he reached it to touch them, fingers hovering over the marks, he saw the rest of it. His neck was covered with it, dry and metallic smelling.

Gwaine closed his eyes and shivered, because it wasn't his blood. But who could it have been? The only person he'd seen since he'd been back from the tavern - and he knew for a fact that these hadn't been there then - had been Merlin.

Oh.

Oh.

Gwaine straightened up, fists clenched so tight his nails broke the skin. Merlin. What had happened to Merlin? Who had happened to Merlin? Merlin, his innocent, sweet, naive friend. Someone had made him bleed, someone had hurt him while Gwaine had been unconscious. It all made sense now! Gwaine willed it to make sense, willed the scene to come together before his eyes. Yes, their attacker must have knocked Gwaine out and done something to Merlin. Of course, of course that had been what had happened.

Gwaine threw open the door to the physician's chambers, and started walking. He was going to find Merlin, and that was that. But before he'd even managed to leave the hall, he ran straight into someone.

"Watch where your going!" He barked, and until that moment, he hadn't realized how on edge he'd been. He felt a bit guilty for snapping, but when he saw who it was, he snorted. "Princess, what's the matter with you?"

Because Arthur looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and there was blood trickling down the back of his neck, and when he opened his mouth, the answer was more of a strained rasp than a calm, collected voice of a king.

"We have to find Merlin. Now."

And when Gwaine saw the crumpled up neckerchief in his hand, he didn't doubt it.

He only hoped they'd be able to find him before it was too late.

So, Gwaine's totally oblivious. Don't worry, it won't last... forever.

Just two more chapters to go! We're almost done, which is good, because I'm currently juggling two stories and let me tell you, it's no picnic. Please review! I'd love to see what you guys think.

And wow! Thank you thank you thank you for 41 follows! That's amazing! I love all of you, seriously.

xx, Cathywren