Tristan was out by the pool, attempting to clean some of the storm's aftermath. He looked at me and gave a smile, telling me we didn't have to talk about last night if we didn't want to. And I wanted to. But I couldn't. I just stared at the murky water and thought about my life. How unfair it was, and how I'm not ready for it to get better.

"I'm a bad dude, Tris." Was I really about to do this? I risked a glance to him, but it didn't make me regret what I was about to do. "Winston's right. I always hurt the people I care about." He looked at me back before licking his lips that must've gone dry before he attempted to speak.

"I get it. It's fine." He dismissed our conversation before turning away. "I figured it was all a way to get back at Maya anyway." But that wasn't what it was Tris. It was an attempt to move on, because I want to move on. "But I didn't mind." This was my last chance to say something. To apologize. To tell him I want to give this a shot, that I like him but don't know what to do. But instead, I watched him turn his back on me and walk away, back into the Hollingsworth mansion and inevitably out the front door.

"I'm impressed." Winston called to me, giving me a futile applaud as he clapped his hands together.

"Why do you do this to me?"

"What are you talking about Miles?" I scoffed. And Winston was supposed to be the smart one. "Why do I look out for you? Why do I defend you when you come up with some crazy scheme to get back at your dad? You can't keep playing with people's emotions!"

"So why can you?!" I yelled. My question was followed by silence. I didn't notice the tear until it fell from my face. I had waited so long for this goddamn moment. To tell Winston just how I felt about him. "I hate you." I felt my lip quiver as all he did was cross his arms across his chest.

"I've gathered that over the past few weeks." He declared.

"No. You have no idea." He scratched at his nose before looking away. I'll I wanted to do was walk up to that nose and punch it with all the strength I had left. I wanted to break him like he broke me. And I did. I walked up to him, socking him right in the eye. He grabbed me by the shoulders, making me lose my balance, and forced us into the disgusting pool. He held on to me even though I struggled. I kept kicking at him, digging my nails into the arms that he had wrapped around my chest as he held me to him. I had never hear his voice so quiet as he spoke.

"You're scaring me, Miles." I felt his head rest on my shoulder before I felt his hot breath dry some of the hairs on my neck. "What happened between us?" He asked, tightening his grasp as he felt me relax. "Does it have to be like this?" He struggled to turn me around so that I would face him, but I didn't look into his eyes. I just muttered a yes, before wading towards the steps before he could pull me back into his arms.

"Why?" Winston demanded, hitting his hand on the concrete before climbing out of the pool. "Why, Miles!" As if he just remembered, he reached up and placed a few fingers on his eye, caressing his temple. "It's not fair!"

"Don't you fucking tell me it's not fair!" I lost it. The heat returned to the argument and I couldn't even follow the words that were coming out of my mouth. "It's not fair that I can't be happy. Not with Zoe, not with Maya, not with Tristan. And it's always because of you! You don't want me with any of them because you think I'm not worth it. You think I'm not worth anything."

"-not true, Mi-"

"You think that all I ever do is hurt people, and make people regret me and hate me."

" The only person you consistently hurt is you. You hate yourself, even if no one else does." I choked. "When did I ever say you were worthless? When did I ever say you weren't good enough?!" He opened his arms to me in pure frustration.

"Every single time you walk away from me without giving a second thought." I said in spurts. He swallowed, clumsily adjusting his glasses. "You don't believe in me anymore. I'm just some delinquent who you've given up on."

"Never." Is all he said with a confident shake of the head. "If you like Tristan, then you should tell him that."

"I do."

"Ok." He shrugged his shoulders encouragingly. "Then there's nothing wrong with it."

"But there is something wrong."

"What?" He took a step closer, only to be met with me taking a step back.

"I can't tell you. It would change everything."

"Hasn't everything already changed?" He tried, but I didn't go for it. He scratched his ear before taking a deep breath. "I'm going to ask you something, and I need a honest answer. I'm here for you either way, ok?" I nodded my head. It was a weird feeling. I wanted him to guess right so desperately so it would be out there, but I also was fearful of what would happen if he finally knew. I tilted my head back, looking at the clear skies, and waited. Winston had this innocence that he never really had before, taking care as to how he worded this. I felt my fingers cross as he went for it.

"Is your dad abusing you?"