Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters and situations contained therein. All original content contained in this fic is property of the author(me). This story is rated M and is intended for readers aged 18 and over only, and may contain graphic language, graphic sexual content, and mild drug use.

**Bella POV**

The lights go down as I finish my last stage dance of the night. Rob Zombie's Feel So Numb. My timing was way off, had been all night… like no joke I had pretty much sucked…

Of all the nights to fuck up…I grab the bills, noting that it feels like a much smaller pile than I'm used to, and hurry off the stage. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel wrong.

I hadn't been able to get Paul on the phone since before my first dance. Leah had been quick to reassure me that he probably had just dozed off with the baby or something, but as the night wore on I just had a greater sense of dread about it.

Tammy's waiting for me, as I walk into the dressing room, concern etched on her face, and in her voice, "Bella… Honey, are you okay?"

Sighing with disgust, I answer, "I'm sorry, I'm fine, I'm just crazy distracted! I can't get a hold of the person who's watching Jas for me. Everything's probably fine, I just can't shake this feeling…"

Nodding sympathetically, she talks as I strip down hurriedly, and start to pull on my street clothes, "Understood. Give me a call after you get home and let me know everything's ok, you hear? I mean it Bella, if I don't hear from you within the hour I'm sending out Matt and Damien to make sure you and that baby are alright."

Grabbing my duffel I shove my stuff into it, and call back over my shoulder as I rush out the door, "I will. I'll see you Tuesday. Thank you Tammy."

Leaving the building and getting in my car quickly, I pull up to the gate and paw through my purse for the opener that Frank gave me. Finding it buried under my wallet, I push the button, and throw it back in the bag.

Driving through the gate I speed up and get on the road grabbing my cell phone off the seat next to me and trying to call Paul again.

The phone rings, once…twice…three times…four times… voicemail, 'hey you've reached Paul, I'm not available to take your call. Leave me your name, phone number, and a brief message and I'll return your call as soon as possible.'

Heaving a disgusted sigh, I snap, "Why the hell haven't you been picking up your phone or answering my texts Paul? I'm on my way home! I know you're not exactly used to this, but when a mother calls and texts you trying to check in on her child, you ANSWER THE MESSAGE! I'm sorry, I know everything is probably fine, but this is the first time I haven't been able to get a hold of you while you've been with Jasmine and it's freaking me the fuck out!"

I try calling Paul about 5 more times on the way home, and by the time I turn onto my street I've left him several angry messages. Throwing the car door open I grab my bag, and get out of the car, trying not to slam the door behind me.

Storming up the walk my heart is pounding in my chest, my throat tight with fear as I let myself into a silent house. I walk through the first floor, no sign of Paul. My breath is caught in my lungs, frozen as the fear turns to terror as I sprint to the stairs and up to Jasmine's room.

I open the door, crossing the room to the side of her crib, and total abject terror turns to utter and complete rage as I take in the sight of my daughter sleeping as peacefully as an angel in what appears to be an otherwise completely empty house.

This guy is dead… I can't believe that I fell for his bullshit charm! He left my child alone! Anything could have happened to her! I reach out to stroke her face, but the rage is making my hand shake, so I stop short.

Exhaling sharply I head back down to the living room, and pace the floor angrily, "I can't believe he would do this!"

**Paul POV**

Jared and I sit a few feet in the woods behind Bella's house, he's smoking a blunt that Sam had brought by, drinking a quart of Old Quil Ateara's shine, and is basically a sobbing mess. Jesus Christ this isn't good. I can't even call Sam back to come get him because I left my phone in the house when I came out here with him.

Jared inhales the last of the liquor, lets out a belch, and thankfully passes out. I pull the baby monitor out of my pocket and listen intently to Jasmine's even breathing. Thank God she slept through.

A minute goes by and then I hear an angry voice in the distance say, "I can't believe he would do this!"

Oh fuck! Bella's home and she thinks I walked out and left Jas alone! Shit, that's not good…. Thank fuck for super hearing because without it I wouldn't have heard her, and thank fuck for super strength because without it I wouldn't be able to lift a 185 pounds of dead weight passed out werewolf.

I grab Jared, toss him over my shoulder, and sprint back to the back porch, depositing him in one of the chairs with a clang. Opening the back door, I call out, "Bella?"

Bella strides into the kitchen, and the site of her near to stops my heart. She obviously left the club in a hurry, her wig is still on, her face is still fully made up in dark lipstick and heavy eyeliner, and she's wearing knee high platform boots with the short denim shorts and pink t-shirt she was wearing when she left to go to work.

Her face is red with anger, as she shouts, "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? YOU DON'T LEAVE A BABY ALONE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

Struggling I pull the monitor out of my pocket, holding it out in self-defense, "I was right outside Bella, I swear! I had the monitor on the whole time! If she had even made a peep I would have come right back in to check on her."

Of course Jared picks this moment to wake up and shout at the top of his fucking lungs, "Where's the fucking blunt, Paul?"

B's eyes widen in shock, her face is dead pale, her lips are drawn in a tight angry line that doesn't even compare to the tight anger in her voice, as she seethes, "Whoever you have here, you need to take him and get the fuck off my property. You put me in danger of LOSING MY CHILD tonight, and what's worse is you put my child in danger! I'm not playing with you, get out of here. Now."

She snatches the monitor out of my hand, and panic fills me. I know that I was upset after hearing Jared talking about how Kim shit all over the love he had for her, but it doesn't compare to what I'm feeling now as I think about not having Bella and Jasmine in my life. Floundering, I plead, "Bella, please. I swear that I was not doing drugs! My friend, Jared. His girl dumped him, and he's real messed up about it. He smoked a blunt in the woods, we were not on your property I swear. Please understand Bella! He's my best friend, and he's in a real fucked up place. I was just trying to be a friend."

Her face is hard, and I can tell that my plea did nothing to improve her mood, her voice is flat as she answers, "I understand. I understand that you being a friend is more important to you than the safety of my daughter. It's fine. She's not your kid, I get it. Please take your friend and leave. I'm not going to ask again."

I start to argue again when the front door opens, and two musclebound meatheads come through to the kitchen. The one I recognize as Sam's friend Dami from the club puts a hand on Bella's shoulder, as he questions, "Everything all right in here?"

Bella's face turns red, and humiliation tinges her voice as she says, "Tammy had you guys follow me? I'm so sorry! Everything is fine, Paul and his friend were just leaving. Weren't you?"

I could easily take these guys, but I'm smart enough to know that if I tried this would definitely be the last time I ever speak to Bella. Sighing with defeat, I nod, "Yeah. Uh, if one of you could give me a hand with him it'd get us out of here faster. He's passed out drunk."

Dami snaps, "What the fuck, dude! She trusted you with her daughter and you let some asshole get pass out drunk here?"

And of course, Jared again, "Paul man, come on, gimme the blunt, don't hog it my high is wearing off!"

The other dude raises an eyebrow, and shoves past me sneering, "Come on asshole, let's get your shithead friend and get the two of you outta here."

**Bella POV**

Paul meekly follows Matty out to the porch, he grabs his friend under the shoulders, and Matty grabs his legs and the two of them cart him out of my house quickly.

Turning to Dami, I shake my head in embarrassment, "I'm so sorry Dami. This will NEVER happen again. I swear. Thank you guys for coming, you didn't have to come all this way. I had it under control."

He hugs me, his voice soft, as he says, "You have family, Bella. Don't forget that. We all love you. I'll see you on Tuesday. Call if you need anything."

Matty comes back in, I wish Tammy hadn't sent him along with Dami… frankly, he intimidates me. Though considering the favor he just did me, I smile at him, "Thank you Matty. I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here, I'm sure you had other things you'd rather have been doing."

He smirks cockily, licking his lips as he replies, "It's all good, girl. I always wanted to see your place. Maybe I'll get to see more of it sometime."

Dami shakes his head disgustedly, rolling his eyes as he herds Matty towards the front door, "Come on man, let's go. I wanna get back to Jenna. Bella don't forget to call Tammy and let her know you're okay."

I walk them to the door and watch them leave.

Heaving a weary sigh, I realize that I'm still wearing my boots as pain stabs at my heels. Wincing, I unzip the sides and step out of them, leaving them where they lie as I lock everything up on this floor, and head upstairs.

I'm not surprised at the abrupt end of me and Paul, though I am completely shocked at what all went on here tonight. How much did Jas see? Was his friend in the house? God, what am I going to do when I go back to work on Tuesday?

Sitting down in front of my vanity, I study my reflection… the dark wig provides stark contrast to my pale skin, my bottom lip is quivering underneath the thick layer of purple/black lipstick. Fuck, I'm actually going to cry over that guy…

Inhaling sharply, I whisper aloud, "No, not gonna happen. At least not before I get my wig and makeup off anyway."

Grabbing the bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls, I dab around the hairline until the glue dissolves. Pulling it off, I carefully inspect it, and clean the inside of the cap, before setting it on the stand.

I wash the wig twice week, at the end of the work week, and in the middle of it, so that has to be done before I'm able to get in the tub and have a good cry. Opening the jar of cold cream, I remove my makeup quickly, carefully pulling off the fake eyelashes and tossing them in the trash can next to the vanity along with the makeup streaked tissues.

Removing the bobby pins, my hair spills down my back, and I pause to look at my natural reflection… Who is this girl? Is she the girl with no life beyond taking care of her daughter? Is she the stripper with the face I just took off? Am I living, or just existing? Did I do the right thing?

That thought causes my teeth to clench, and my spine to straighten. Staring into my own eyes, I breathe out, "Abso-fuckin-lutely"

Carrying the wig and the baby monitor with me to the bathroom, I go to turn the volume on the monitor up, but it's already up as high as it can go, so I set it on the shelf above the sink before turning on the water and opening the cabinet to grab the bottle of wig shampoo.

I take the elastics out, brush the hair, and wash it thoroughly before rinsing it out. Making sure that all the shampoo is out of it, I drain the water in the sink, and apply a special conditioner to the wig, setting it in the sink to absorb.

I wipe my hands off, and check on Jasmine again. The nightlight illuminates the room, and there's a slight chill from the half open window. Hurrying across the room, I close and lock it, before going back to stand over her crib.

I reach in and pull her blanket up around her shoulders gently. Careful not to wake her, I stroke the soft skin of her cheek, before going back across the hall to the bathroom.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out, seeing a text from Paul, 'Bella, there are not enough ways to tell you how sorry I am about tonight. When Jared called me I should have told him he absolutely could not come to your place. When he started drinking and smoking, I should have told him he needed to leave. I swear to you on my father's grave that I had the baby monitor on the highest volume the whole time I was outside with him, and he did not step foot in your house. I'll call you in the morning.'

Setting the phone down next to the baby monitor with a sigh, I rinse the conditioner out of the wig, and gently wring out the water, before going back into my room to put it on the stand, and blow it out.

Instead of the bath I had been thinking of earlier, I opted for a quick shower instead, before getting into a comfy pair of sweat pants and an old white tee shirt that had belonged to Charlie.

Slipping under the covers, I reply to Paul's text, 'It is what it is. I trusted you, and you betrayed that trust. It's not something you can undo. I'm sorry about your friends' broken heart, but his isn't the first...'

Glancing at the clock, I wince, 4am… Jasmine will be up and ready for breakfast in about 2 hours…

Fuck.

A/N: Thank you all for reading! Don't forget I promise HEA for the main pairing! With that in mind, do you think that Bella is being unfair to Paul? Do you think she's using this first relationship struggle as an excuse to just go back into hiding? What about Jared? Do you think he played up the pain in the hopes of getting some of the "old Paul" back? How long do you think Bella can deny herself of Paul's presence, and do you think that Jasmine's attachment to Paul will sway her mother's fear and anger towards forgiveness?