"All of a sudden it's not gravity holding you to the world anymore, it's her. You would do anything, be anything.. For her" - Jacob Black

|| PROLOGUE ||

He was the center of my universe and he had no clue, really. All he's ever seen was my stupid twin sister, Bella. All he's ever cared about was her, really. So, I guess you could say that I was sort of invisible, for lack of a better word... Which I can admit, yes, it hurt me. It drove me insane watching him losing it over Bella and her thing with the thing I call a brother in law, Edward Cullen.

But I'm really not the kind of girl who will let things bug me for too long, and true to form, I decided not to let this one thing bug me, either.. well, not so badly that it made me a crazy and messed up basket case who blamed and hated my sister like most girls probably would've.. What would the point have been in that, really? I mean I already dislike her, but in no way am I even a little bit jealous of her... I mean come on... Edward Cullen? The guy's a prick if I do say so myself. And she's too damn uptight to have friends or any real semblance of a life or anything, so... My grades weren't as stellar as hers but I did my best and I knew that was all I could do.. As far as family? I got used to them preferring my sister over me a long time ago, so I didn't and still don't even bother trying to please them or act out to get their attention..

If they can't love and support me for me, really, why bother with them? Just love them for what they are and deal with the rest, I'd think.. No sense in forcing people to actually want to love you or be close to you. I've never been a very big fighter, if you can't tell.. I'm more or less the one who will avoid someone for years rather than have that one huge fight to end all fights.. It hurts one hell of a lot less.

Instead of moping in my room and suffering in silence, I got out of Washingtonand away from all the negativity in my life.. Because I knew if I didn't, I'd never actually have a good life.. Or any kind of actual happiness.. And I swore I'd never ever go back.. I stopped letting things bother me and the way I saw it, honestly? If my family and the guy I loved wanted to be all about Bella?

Let them.. What the hell did I really care? I'm mature enough to know that I'll be fine without anyone. I can take care of me, I've always been good at taking care of me.. And while I was living in Biloxi, I thought I was so much more mature, so much more above all of the drama that her royal craziness loved to wallow in. I built my confidence up, I built my own identity, I finally had my own life and my own support system.. I worked for my own money, I got a pretty damn decent student apartment, then an internship, then I met a (supposedly) great guy..

Or at least I thought I did.. Then Fate did what it's known universally for doing, and it knocked me right back on my ass, showed me I was maybe getting too comfortable, too happy and too settled with my lot in life.. It started when I met that so called great guy, ironically.. I guess I should have just quit while I was ahead but nooooo... All I saw was this perfect man who actually loved me for me and actually wanted me..

Or so I thought.. Turns out that man only wanted to be with me because I wasn't as secure as I thought I was and I was pliable, easily molded.. And I was making a killing at my jobs and I had a nice little setup on the beach.. And he was a user.. I let him use me (and I hate to admit it, but towards the end, abuse me) and that still sickens me, even now.. Especially now, especially when I finally see him for the piece of shit monster he is and I'm carrying his child..

Naturally, any mark I made in my academic achievements is gone now, pregnant girls keeping scholarships? Right, like that really happens.. I lost my internship slot and I lost at least two of the scholarships I'd worked my ass off to get in the first place.. But I'm not giving up.. I'll raise my kid and go to college, girls do it all the damn time.. Just because I will be a mom soon, that doesn't mean that I have to give up and abandon my life plan, does it?

I didn't think so.

And then, naturally, after the loss of my internship, my so called love life and my college hopes, everything else was gone too and all I could think about was how much I missed my dad, how much I wished that I was a kid again and he could save my ass.. But I was mature enough to know that I wasn't and he couldn't.. But I could fix things with my family, because frankly, I missed them.. Even if they didn't miss me, not even a little, not even at all..

I even missed my sister.. Which is a first because she and I have never actually gotten along that well, our relationship as siblings worsened, actually, when she was torn between two men... Because it infuriated the crap out of me that someone can be that indecisive, ya know? That she'd actually hurt a good guy, a guy who's been nothing but there for her, supportive of her, catered to her, no matter what ridiculous shit she pulled..

Kinda funny, isn't it? The second you swear you will not ever do something again, it's the first thing you usually wind up doing when your entire world falls to pieces at your feet. So as mine tumbled down around me, I did what any other girl in my situation would do.. I went where I was most comfortable. I went to my safety zone..

I went back to Forks with my father...

And that's when things took a pretty unexpected turn...Okay, screw pretty unexpected turn, because what wound up happening to me? Never in a million years did I think it would.. I'd given up on Jacob Black... I'd given up on pretty much anything I might have once hoped for in the future.. I came back to Forks with no expectations and what wound up happening to me actually kinda surpassed even my wildest dreams.. But this is my happy ever after.. Sort of..