That's it, I guess. For now.

There was a bunch of stuff I wanted to refer to in this story that just didn't fit in and I can't see myself writing another TMNT fic anytime soon so I'll wrap it up here:

As my canon is a hybrid of the 2k3 toon, the 2k7 movie and the Mirage comics, I play pretty liberally with sequence of events – the Utrom Arrival happens while the turtles are in their twenties, not their thirties, in my fanon, so that earth's adaptation to alien species and intergalactic travel can be well established by the time this story takes place

Depictions of "Future Raphael" usually feature him with an eye lost in battle so I stayed true to that.

Raphael's other girlfriends have been Angel (whose heart he broke), Joi (yes! I like s5!) and Lucindra (the original Black version, I hate that they whitewashed her in her other appearance!).

Amber has a lot of missing teeth replaced by false ones. She also gets skin peels to minimise her freckles (remember she was heavily covered in them), the occasional botox injection, has her own teeth whitened and one or two other minor procedures as desired though she leaves her track scars untouched.

Remember Amber has Hep C? She still drinks like a fish, you would've noticed. She takes superior medication developed by the utroms and made widely available to help keep it sorted. Deus-ex-extra-terrestria, yes, bite me.

Amber was an excellent piano player as a young woman, established in Dust of Life. I believe that after she got clean she started playing again, plays constantly and extensively, and so when she and Raphael return to earth, she gets work as a pianist and gives up sex work.

Some other stuff:

I like the idea of Amber going from living in squats, never wearing makeup, constantly shabby, becoming this groomed, materialistic woman who adores creature comforts. It's not as dramatic a swing as you might think. Giving up the gear made her get back in touch with life and who she IS.

Amber has always been bisexual, I established that in… Dust of Life, I think. I believe she would gravitate towards women more than men, generally speaking.

Oh yeah, regular penetrative sex exercises the vaginal muscles, keeping them toned and firm, not loosening them as so many sadly believe (it's a misogynistic myth intended to shame women for having lots of sex okay, at any rate any muscle can be exercised and firmed at any time of life so no one's body is 'ruined' by lots of sex, get those ideas out of your heads right now)

If some of the people who read my Raphael & Amber stories back in 2007 read this, they may be dismayed by the turn things take in this story. They may be disappointed Amber cleaned up, that Raphael took her back, that this is basically a happy ending. I got a lot of positive feedback for not making everything all rosy and shiny in my stories.

And if you are uncomfortable with their reunion, think Raphael is taking a huge risk or whatever – that's perfectly okay! Truth to tell, I tried to imbue the story with a sense that this might not be the RIGHT thing for them to do. But our lives' decisions are not always made based on what is "right", but more often on what we want and need and I believe the unfolding of these events are as realistic as any of the ones I used to write. It's a happy ending, but it's not a perfect ending. It may not work out long term. It may be based more on nostalgia than either of them realise. It may all go belly up. They have a LONG, hard road ahead of them for a lot of reasons (can you imagine Leo's reaction!). I like to think they can make it last, but if you don't – I am perfectly at ease with that. I've never wanted readers to necessarily agree with me or have simple emotional responses to what I write. I've just wanted to make people think and feel things about complex characters in complex situations.

Back when I was first writing Raphael and Amber's story in 2007, I knew there was only one way that relationship could end: in tears. I never got around to actually writing the stories of them together, as a couple, or of their breakup. I hooked them up at the end of 'Prey', made it clear in 'Sparring' and 'Choices' that they had a sexual and romantic relationship and that it was basically a pretty toxic situation that was moving towards an inevitable end, but never more than that. In all honesty, I wasn't comfortable writing more about it. I was twenty-seven and a less experienced writer and writing about two teenagers having inexperienced, awkward sex and trying to figure each other out, both incredibly damaged in their own ways – eh, I wasn't at ease with it. Hey I believe in challenging oneself as a writer, I just didn't feel like it back then. Writing about two adults having hot, experienced sex and figuring each other out as a much older woman myself? That came a lot easier to me. And yes, it really did take me this long to be comfortable writing mutant turtles doing the do so explicitly. Hey, I've grown up a lot myself (but not enough to stop writing about mutant turtles having sex… ahem).

It was never any big secret I drew on a lot of Amber's experiences as a drug user and sex worker from my own. We are very different people with very different outlooks on many things and some strongly similar ones. There is nothing wrong with being a prostitute. It's a very complicated issue but too many people reduce it to black and whites and I have always striven to depict the complexities of the reality of what working in the industry means in my writing. My stories are not intended to condemn Amber for being a prostitute or prostitution itself. If you read that into my work then either I have done something terribly wrong or you are projecting your own perspective and I wish you would stop. I am also not condemning injecting drug use, another vastly complicated subject. But I knew for Raphael and Amber to come back together, she had to quit. It was either she quit or she die. And you know what? Once upon a time – and I even told this to Nekotsuki when we met up for lunch this one time – I imagined that Amber would die.

But I decided I loved her too much and I loved her with Raphael too much to let that happen. I knew their relationship couldn't have lasted when they were young – but all this time on? They could have another chance.

The primary obstacle to Amber and Raphael's relationship has always been her drug use, NOT her job. Yes he has some issues with it, but it's not anything they can't overcome. That Amber has grown weary of the work by the time of this story is because she's being doing it for twenty years and it's pretty normal to get sick of any job after twenty years if it isn't your lifelong passion.

I aged Amber down! Originally I wrote her as about 24 to Raphael's 17 and I really don't know why. It makes no sense to me. So I've shortened the age gap to two years. In this story Raphael is 35 and she is 37. I'll have to go back and fix that in my other stories… eventually…

Raphael getting back in touch with reality through his interactions with Shadow may ring deeply cliché and hokey but the truth is I have had a horrible few years and the birth of my niece really got me through. Often when I am really wondering what the point of anything is or getting hung up on other people's bullshit, I spend time with her and come out the other side with a greater grip on what's really important. Hokey, maybe, but no less real or sincere for that. Kids are pretty magic

It was really enjoyable to revisit the Turtles and the world I created for them, and Amber too. I am glad I took her to where she is now and I hope that you will be too. Thanks for reading - your reviews and concrit are most welcome.