One.
Two.
Three.
And repeat...

Blood dripped onto the floor making a calming echo across the rather empty apartment. A girl sat, crumpled over the puddle of crimson despair. She had tears streaking her face, as she mumbled out numbers, "One. Two. Three." She mumbled. "And repeat." She spoke louder before more sounds of dripping blood echoed in the room.

She hesitated as she held the military knife to her arm. She surpassed feeling dizzy and felt utterly nauseous from the blood on the floor before her. She had been injured many times before and she was certain she had lost more blood before but... She had never done this to herself.

The black haired girl let the blade fall to the floor and she slumped over even further, holding her bloody arm with angst. "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" She said, through her shallow breathes. She wished that she could just make the constant aching in her heart to go away. The self-harm she had just committed helped, but only long enough to leave her wanting more.

After a long silence, Homura finally forced herself to move so that she could cover up the pain she had written on her limbs. She didn't want to have to resort to something so physically damaging but she could no longer feel any masochistic insults or memories she could taunt herself with. Now it just cause a deep sorrow in her chest that she couldn't cure, no matter the tears. The only thing that helped was fighting witching - which had become second nature to the veteran magical girl - or cutting herself with the military knife.

Homura walked slowly to her bathroom, aware of the small trail of blood she was leaving behind her. Once she arrived, she began wrapping the wound just like she would have if she had been hurt by a witch. If anyone asked, that's what happened as well. If classmates asked, she burned herself pretty badly cooking the night before. She was almost certain she could get away with this.

She took in a slow breath as she stumbled to her bedroom. Her head was beginning to throb and her vision wasn't clear. She was certain she had done quite a bit of damage to herself, just from her lack of balance. But she felt a sense of being lightweight and she practically collapsed on her American styled bed. "Surely this isn't so strange. Self mutilation is a common practise for coping..." Homura spoke out loud as she looked at her soul gem, which was surprisingly clear for what she had done. Because of her many travels, she was well stocked when it came to grief seeds.

Homura closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. She knew, despite her verbal comfort, that what she had done to herself was incorrect. Destroying one's own flesh to feel some sort of emotion... It was sick! But at the same time, wasn't Homura sick? She had spent over a decade chasing after the girl she loved, who forgot about her every few weeks. They didn't even particularly get along in these more recent timelines. Homura knew she was repeating herself for the same outcome every time, hoping something would change; isn't that the definition of insanity? So it was only logical that eventually the burden of her insanity would finally weigh her to the point of needing to find an escape - needing to find another feeling besides insanity.

Homura took her headband off and squirmed up to her pillow. She hugged her injured arm nearer to her body and closed her eyes, trying to avoid her normal insomnia rid with horrifying images of her friends dying many brutal, bloody deaths. After only a few moments, she had fallen into a sleep fuelled by anemia.

When Homura woke the next morning, she shot up and almost fell from her bed. She ran to her bathroom and coughed for a moment before throwing up. She continued leaning over the bowl for a few moments. She heaved a few times before collapsing onto the tiled floor. She leaned back for a moment before cursing at herself quietly. She had bled out so much and had failed to do anything to treat it besides wrapping her arm.

Homura pushed her sleeve up and looked at her wrap. It was bloodstained and she cursed again. Without even looking at a clock, she understood exactly what time it was - a side effect of her magical girl ability. She was running extremely late for school, to the point that it was pretty much a waste of time to even attempt going. She let out a heavy sigh before getting up off of the floor and flushing the toilet. She ignored the dried blood and knife on the floor as she started unwrapping her injured arm.

Just as she finished getting the bloody bandage off, she heard a knock from her front room. She froze where she was standing. She made a 'tsk' noise at the knowledge that she didn't have her soul gem on her. It was in her bedroom on the nightstand.

She tensed even more when she heard the front door open. She felt cornered and angry at herself for not locking the door. She rarely left the door locked since she kept her apartment very depersonalised, meaning there wasn't much in it that she cared about.

She took a step back and slipped, falling to the floor again and letting out a yelp. She cursed at herself again for making it obvious where she was to the intruder. She crawled forward a little and grabbed the knife that had her blood on it from the previous night.

Suddenly the bathroom door busted open and Sayaka stood at the door, looking quite confused at Homura, who looked more fearful then Sayaka had ever seen her. "Hey, umm, sorry for barging in but your door was unlocked... I was sent to check on you by Saotome-sensei, since you know, heart things, umm..." Sayaka's speech made it pretty obvious that she had been reluctant to come check on Homura, which the time traveler wasn't surprised about. She and Sayaka had never quite clicked.

Homura was thrown off even more, though, when the blue haired tomboy suddenly moved forward a few steps and got in a kneeling position. Homura watched for a second, unsure of Sayaka's movements. After a few seconds and observation, Homura tried to pull away as Sayaka grabbed her hand tightly and pushed her sleeve down, making the deep cuts visible.

Sayaka let out a sigh and nodded slowly, before letting go of Homura's hand. "So that's why you were late today. They don't look like they're from this morning though... Last night?" Sayaka asked Homura, looking at her pretty sincerely.

Homura scoffed and shook her head, "Don't try to act like you understand." Homura said as she cradled her left arm, as if Sayaka had hurt her - which she may have.

Sayaka sat down in front of Homura, making sure to avoid the dried blood on the floor by her feet. She quietly messed with the small zipper on the back of the over jacket of her uniform before pulling it over her head. She unbuttoned the cuffs of her dress shirt before pulling the sleeves up, revealing deep, nasty scars that ran up for as far as the eye could see. Some were really fresh, with stitches and a small strip of medical tape over the cuts. Others were white, but still wide nonetheless. "Maybe I don't understand exactly, but I do understand this." Sayaka pointed at Homura's arm.

Homura looked at Sayaka's arm with curiosity. She had never seen anyone personally that had self injured as a coping method. When Sayaka spoke, Homura broke her gaze with the wounds to look at the girl's face.

Sayaka watched Homura before speaking again, "I've been cutting for about as long as I can remember. Cutting is second nature to me." Sayaka said with a sigh. "Both of my parents know that one day I'm going to fuck up and cut the wrong vein. But... Maybe, if you let me, I can help. It'll be our secret. I'll keep it a secret as long as you protect yourself. I can't use the whole 'I'll help you stop' thing because that would be hypocritical... But maybe I can do something a least."

Homura shook her head, "What could you possibly understand about my situation?" Her words sounded almost like she felt hopeless.

Sayaka didn't say anything. She knew that she didn't understand Homura. Homura was always cold to everyone except for Madoka. Sayaka had tried before to communicate with Homura in some way, but Homura always treated her like a lost cause, which she could understand.

"Exactly." Homura said as she pulled her sleeve back down to cover the cuts, despite the fact that they were staining her clothes.

Sayaka shook her head as she began to speak, "But, Akemi-san," Sayaka tried not to sound too hesitant or hateful, "do you have any idea how to hide this? Do you know how to treat it without causing horrible scarring or infection? What about safe tools to use for optimal cuts without bad scarring? I've been doing this for years, I can help you."

Homura looked right at Sayaka, studying her blue eyes. "Why would you want to help me?"

"I want you to be safe." Sayaka responded quickly.

Homura nodded slowly, before pulling up her sleeve again. She put her arm out to Sayaka before asking, "How would you get this to stop bleeding?" Homura had an idea, since she had cut herself worse in battle, but normally she would use magic to heal it. However, this was something she wanted to keep on her body.

Sayaka was a little taken aback by Homura suddenly offering her arm to her. "Umm, well, I would first put pressure on it, like maybe some cotton balls or a clean washcloth? Then, after the bleeding slowed, I would stitch it up." Sayaka stopped talking for a moment before making an offer, "If you can't bring yourself to stitch up your own wounds, I could help. I've been stitching mine for at least the last year."

Homura shook her head, keeping her face straight, "I've done just about everything, I'm sure I could stitch my own wounds."

Sayaka nodded, not surprised by Homura's answer. She knew that the time traveler would want to do her own bandaging. "Do you have supplies? I can bring you some if you don't."

After a moment of silence, Homura shook her head, "I only have wrap, gauze, and tape. I don't even have alcohol to clean it."

Sayaka looked down on the floor. "This was the first time you've done this?"

"Yes, that is correct. I just got so frustrated and I had this knife, so..." Homura said, as she looked at the cuts on her arm.

"I know that feeling. Sometimes the sudden feeling of wanting to cut is just too much and it quickly gets out of hand. That's how my parents found out... I was just too upset and I made some particularly terrible cuts across my legs. I had cut too deep and couldn't get up off of the floor; my dad found me."

Homura looked at Sayaka's legs curiously, not seeing any wounds from her knee to the him of her skirt. "May I see?" She asked, feeling like that may not be a good question to ask.

Sayaka thought about it for a moment, before nodding. She put her legs in front of her and pulled her knee-highs down to reveal more scars, some much more agressive then anything that Homura had seen. She pointed at one of the scars that was wide, almost two fingers in width. "This one... it's the one from that night. Dad took me to the ER, I ended up being hospitalised... I had to lie to Madoka and tell her I had a bad cold and that's why she couldn't come over and see me... It was bad. However, my parents currently think that I've quit, because I toned it down for a few months after that."

Homura looked at the cut, not realising that Sayaka had gone through so much. She began to wonder if Sayaka had had a problem with self injury in every timeline or if this was the first one.

"Sorry for sharing so much. I just... I dunno, I've never had someone know about, much less understand cutting." Sayaka apologised as she pulled her knee high back up. "Umm, but anyway, I should go get that first aid." She said as she pushed herself up.

Homura shifted, getting up too, "I should probably clean up while you are gone." She said, signalling to the blood trail on the floor from her bedroom.

Sayaka nodded, "I'll be back in about thirty minutes. You should probably wrap your arm until I get back so it doesn't bleed out too much."

Homura nodded, before walking out of the bathroom, following Sayaka. "I'm going to lock the door behind you, so please use the bell to get my attention when you get back."

"Yeah, no problem." Sayaka said as she went for the door. "Sorry for walking in, by the way. Even though I knew it was unlikely, Saotome-sensei did have most of the class worried that you had had a heart attack or something. I'll text Madoka on my walk home to let them know you're okay. I'll tell them you have a cold, is that okay?"

Homura nodded, "Yes, that's okay." She said as she walked with Sayaka to the front door. "See you soon."

"Yeah. I'll be back." Sayaka said, turning away.

Homura closed the door before letting out a heavy sigh. She looked down at her shirt, where her cuts were bleeding into the fabric. She went back into her bathroom and began re-wrapping her wounds.