Title: Devastating Past

Author: Valerie

E-mail: [email protected]

Disclaimer: they don't belong to me

Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.

Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.

Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it

Rating: R

Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.

Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?

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37.

((I don't know anything about the social services in the US and laws about orphans and such, so I'm making my own to fit the story...))

"Mr Connelly. I see you haven't changed." The woman stated coldly as she looked over Angel. He was wearing only black boxers and his body was covered by cuts and bruises.

"Now why would I do that Miss Kassington?" Angel replied coolly, leaning casually against his doorframe. Before him was the woman he had grown to despise over the past 6 years. She was the employee of the social services in charge of his and his sister's case. She was a short fat woman in her forties who maintained a strong dislike for Angel.

"I believe today is a school day Mr Connelly. Why aren't you at school?"

"I wasn't feeling well." He replied innocently, but his smirk gave his lie away. "What are you doing here princess?"

"Mr Snyder reported to us that you missed quite a number of classes in the past few months. I am here to see what can be done about it." Miss Kassington explained briefly while she entered the apartment. Angel rolled his eyes and closed the door behind them, watching the woman inspecting his place and taking notes. After a moment, she grabbed a couple magazines from the coffee table in the living room and showed it to Angel, raising her eyebrows. "I did not remember that Kristin read Vogue and Cosmo."

"They're not Kristin's, they're my girlfriend's. She leaves that stuff here for when she comes around." Angel answered with a shrug. He was used to those inspections from time to time, and knew that if he said something bad, that short woman had the power to make his life hell.

"A new girlfriend. That's interesting. Is she the reason you missed so many classes?"

"No, that's just a bad habit of mine. I don't like going to class. Remember, I wanted to drop out of school last year but you threatened me to take Kristin away from me." Angel mumbled bitterly.

"I remember that you agreed to try and graduate from High School if I let you live in the same town as Kristin. You better start doing your homework this year, otherwise you'll be lost next year. Which is why you're gonna get dressed and follow me to your school." Miss Kassington replied strictly.

Angel sighed deeply. "I swear M'am, I know the promise I made, and I intend to respect it, but... I can't go today, it'd be too hard."

"Why? You certainly don't look sick."

"I'm not, it's just that..." He hesitated for a moment. He could tell the truth...but he doubted that'd be enough. Well, he could try...at least she'd see he had a reason. "I got into a fight with my girlfriend and it's all my fault."

"So you're not going to school because you feel bad?" Miss Kassington sighed deeply and shook her head.

"Well, not really. I just don't know how to make it better and I know that if I see her I'll screw things over even worse. I love her so much, I can't lose her. Please, don't make me go." Angel begged with a pained look that he wasn't used to wear in front of her. She was beginning to feel sorry for her charge, but she was an intransigent woman and he had to go to school.

"I'm sorry Angel, you can't miss your classes. Go ahead and get dressed darling." She commanded softly as she put neatly a few books that were laying on the floor back in the bookshelf. Reluctantly, Angel stood up and went in his bedroom to get dressed.

A few minutes later he came back, wearing his leather pants and a black shirt and stated simply "You're about to be the death of me and the love of my life. I hate you."

"You'll thank me when you are mature enough to understand what's good for you." Miss Kassington shrugged and exited the apartment, choosing not to reply to Angel's grumble of annoyance. Each time, same speech.

*****

"What if he doesn't show up all day?" Buffy asked nervously her best friend, who was sitting next to Xander behind her. "Should I go at his apartment or something?"

"No, let him make the first step, he's the one who yelled at you." Willow whispered back with a firm nod.

"On the other hand, you're the one who told him you didn't trust him." Cordelia added from her seat on the right of Willow.

"I didn't say that exactly, he just misunderstood." The slayer replied innocently.

Cordy shrugged dismissively. "Whatever. Seeing how stubborn the two of you are, neither of you will ever make the first step."

"I'm not stubborn, I just d-" Buffy started to defend herself, only to be interrupted by their literature teacher Mr Peterson, forcing the three girls to stop their conversation.

*****

"You really don't have to take me to the classroom, I'll find it by myself." Angel told both Miss Kassington and an other man from the social services with a fake smile as he opened his locker.

"I'd like to be sure you get to your seat safely. Well...mostly that you GET to your seat." The woman insisted smugly while she and the man in the suit led Angel to his classroom.

"Jesus people!! Don't you trust me?" Angel rolled his eyes and almost groaned out loud when the man grabbed him by the arm.

"Absolutely not." Miss Kassington answered, and they finally reached his class.

"Well, thanks, it was great seeing you again. You can leave now." The 18 year old waved them goodbye, but they ignored him.

The man opened the door, leaving Miss Kassington to speak with Mr. Peterson and still holding a suspicious Angel by the arm.

*Oh boy he looks so good* Buffy sighed, unconsciously checking him out. When she realized she was almost drooling at the sight of him in leather pants, she quickly averted her gaze, hoping Angel hadn't seen her. She had to be strong.

"Go take a seat next to Miss Summers, Angel." The teacher instructed him. Angel looked up, startled, and tried to say something, but he didn't know what he could say. When he didn't move, the suit guy led him forcefully to his seat, but Angel remained standing.

"Sit." Miss Kassington ordered coldly.

"What if I don't?" Angel asked innocently. "What if I choose to remain standing? What if I want to leave? You're not gonna stay here all day, I'll be free to go. Why should I bother sitting when I'm gonna go a few minutes later?" Responding to his questions, the man gripped his arm strongly enough to leave a bruise. "That hurts buddy. Why don't you make an expression and talk instead of using force? Who are ya anyway? Dear Kassington's minion?" Angel glared at the man until he let his arm go.

"Mr Connelly, if you don't quit your insolent behavior, sit and follow all your classes today, I'll be forced to report this to the manager of my department who will gladly have your apartment rummaged and have you move back to the Evans' home." Miss Kassington threatened with an innocent smile.

"I'll be good." Angel mumbled dejected and sat down. Without another word, the two adults left the classroom, and the teacher resumed his lesson.

For a few minutes, Angel and Buffy sat awkwardly next to each other silently, trying to steal a glance at the other without being noticed. *Alright...I'm the strong one. I didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who has to make the first move. I don't have to do anything. It's not my fault. He's a bastard. I hate him.* Buffy babbled mentally, and eventually turned slightly around, and accidentally met Angel's gaze. She quickly averted her gaze, but was shocked at the amount of pain she saw in his eyes. Hesitantly, she tore a piece of paper from her note book, and grabbed a pen.

Angel frowned in confusion when Buffy slid a folded piece of paper onto his lap. He unfolded it, careful that the teacher wouldn't see it, and his lips curved into a small smile, as he read the short note.

/Hi :)/

Without turning around to see Buffy's face, Angel quickly wrote back and gave her the paper back.

/Hey. I missed you/

Buffy couldn't help but smile at that. At least now she knew he still had feelings for her. /Who were those people?/ she wrote, and discreetly passed it to him.

/Social Services. They're trying to make me go to all my classes./

/Oh...why didn't you come?/ She hesitated as she wrote it to give that message to him, and finally changed it for /How are you?/. She didn't want him to tell her that he didn't come because he didn't want to see her.

/I feel like shit./ Angel answered truthfully. He paused for a second, unsure if it was wise to talk about their fight now, but eventually decided to do it. So he added /I'm so sorry about last Saturday/

Buffy was relieved, but she needed to know more. /What happened?? Why did you react that way???? Did I do something wrong?/

/No Baby, it wasn't your fault. It hurt my damn ego to be saved by a girl from a vamp. I'm sorry I'm such an ass/ He was sort of lying, but he couldn't tell her the truth like that. Anyway, it was more or less true...it DID hurt his ego that a girl was able to off Morfran when he had almost gotten killed.

She wasn't surprised by his answer, but it pained her that her fears had been true. She didn't want him to have an inferiority complex. /I promise next time I'll let you get killed/ She drew a few smiley faces around her sentence to show him she was joking.

He smirked when he read her message, but he was serious again when he wrote back. /I'm also sorry about our fight in the library...I never should have gotten mad at you. It's natural that you feel that way, although I wish you'd trust me/

/I do. I swear I do. I'm so very sorry too, but I'm so insecure when it comes to being intimate with a guy that I can't understand how you don't want to run away from me. Every other guy left me, why would you stay? Why do I have to give you?/

Angel stared at the paper for a few minutes. *She doesn't know how wonderful she is? How can't she know that she's the most fantastic woman? Who are those bastards that left her?? How can you be so retarded to let her go???* He was stunned by her insecurity, but at that moment, he knew exactly what to answer.

/I love you/

He finally looked at her, wanting to see her reaction as she read his confession. She was utterly stunned. She stared at the three words that she had longed to hear for so long with her mouth slightly open in shock. That was NOT expected. He loved her? She loved him, that she knew...but HE loved HER??? How was that even possible? Suddenly, she felt Angel's hand on her thigh. He was stroking her softly, obviously nervously, but in a loving way that made her heart skip a beat. He loved her. She turned her head around and saw that he had he was looking at his lap, waiting for her to answer. He looked so cute, being all nervous and shy. She put her hand on top of his on her thigh, and he turned it over to take her hand. None of them said or did anything else until two minutes later when the bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson. As everyone was leaving the classroom, Angel let go of Buffy's hand and, still without meeting her gaze, walked out of the room.

*****

"Wait! Wait Angel please!" Buffy exclaimed as she finally snapped out of dreamland.

He stopped walking and looked at her as she hurried down the hall to catch up with him. Her reaction had frightened him. He didn't know what to think of it. If she had answered something at least he'd know what to do. "Look Buffy, if you don't-"

"Did you really mean what you wrote?" She interrupted him, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I did. Completely. I love you Buffy." He felt sick and was afraid he'd throw up as he waited for her to say something. He had never felt so nervous in his whole life.

After a moment, a big grin enlightened Buffy's face. "I love you too Angel."

"Y-You...r-really? You do??" He stuttered as his heart made flip flops in his chest.

"Yeah! I love you. I love you!!" She repeated a little louder.

"Oh thank god!" Angel breathed out in relief and kissed her passionately, oblivious of all the students around them who had been watching them and were now clapping and whistling at the couple.

*****

Two days later, Buffy and Angel were hanging out at Angel's in the afternoon. They were laying on his bed, Angel on top of Buffy, and had been making out for at least 40 minutes. "Hmmm, I love you" Buffy moaned, closing her eyes under Angel's kisses on her neck.

"I love you more." Angel whispered in her ear before nibbling at it playfully.

"Impossible." The slayer mumbled with a sigh. She loved the feeling of Angel's body pressing hers against the mattress.

"You smell good. I love that scent."

"Vanilla" Buffy nodded as she slipped her hands underneath Angel's shirt and started caressing his back.

"I love your skin. It's smooth and it tastes" He licked her neck to illustrate his point "so good. I could kiss you for hours"

"I love your kisses"

"I love your eyes" He replied with an adoring smile, gazing into her hazel eyes.

"I love your hands" Buffy smiled back sleepily.

"Do you like them here?" Angel asked huskily and slipped one hand under her shirt. He slid it from her stomach to her chest. "What do you think you're doing going around braless?"

She opened her eyes in surprise. She had thought it'd please him..."I'm sorry...do you think it's ugly?" She asked in a small voice.

"Oh boy, you've got a lot to learn about your body kiddo." He told her playfully as he cupped one breast gently. "Believe me, it's not ugly. It's an -extremely- big turn-on for me. But you're gonna drive me crazy if you keep turning me on that much." She smiled sheepishly at him, feeling better already and tingly from his hand on her breast. Raising her head to kiss him, she heard him mutter against her lips" I love it. I love you."

"I love you too" Buffy answered and moaned in pleasure when Angel started playing with her nipple.

*****

"When d'you think they'll stop all that 'I love you' crap?" Faith asked her boyfriend, after she passed Angel's room and overheard the couple's conversation.

"I'm thinking never, but maybe one day Nancy boy will realize how bloody whipped he is and will start doing something about it" Seeing the brunette's doubtful look, he shrugged helplessly. "Or maybe not."

Spike and Faith had decided to stick around a little while longer and were living with Angel, at least until the basketball match against Hemery at the end of the week. Miss Kassington had told Angel and Kristin she would be working from now on at the Sunnydale office of the Social Services after she had asked the Parkers a few questions about Kristin's behavior. She apparently wanted to make sure Angel wouldn't bother Kristin's new healthy life. But right now, Angel couldn't care less about it. Right now, the world could come to an end that he wouldn't care. He was in Buffy's arms and that was all that mattered.

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So...how did you like that? It's not over yet, don't worry!!