Routines

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these fantastic characters - I just take complete liberties with their stories and lives...

Author's note: This is my first dip back into fan fiction in 10 years... and my first in this Fandom - but after "stumbling" across R&I only recently (how on earth did I miss this?!) I simply had to contribute. Go easy - please :)

Rating: K, very safe. Very, very safe

Summary: Jane and Maura's routine

It always began this way

A sharp intake of breath, a slight increase of pressure on the mattress beside her… the mattress that that had borne many battles, just like this, over the years.

The first time it happened, Maura was startled awake somewhere in the middle of it all. Disorientation had quickly given way to awareness, and then finally concern as she watched the scene play out before her, unsure of how to respond; what would be the right thing to do. As much as her heart had screamed at her to reach out, her ever-present mind, rational and calculating, had muffled it. Maura had known how rare a good nights' sleep was for the woman in front of her… would a fitful dream that ran its course not be more restful than a broken one? Was it not more preferable to maintain the REM sleep cycle rather than clumsily barging through it like a panicked sixth-grader?

Back then, inexperienced and torn between science and emotion, and utterly unable to conclusively master either, Maura had chosen not to interfere – instead letting the demons run their course. She watched her friend battle silently, and sometimes not so, desperately willing Jane's shadows to leave her alone but unsure of the role she needed to play. The memory lingered for months following, the feeling of helplessness, the guilt at being unable to stop it. But also on that night she understood; the dark circles, the random bruises, the gruffness that came with morning. But moreso she understood the deeper parts – the distance, the wariness, the suspicion of any and all who could get too close.

And so the routine began. And now, Maura was an expert.

Long ago, well before she became as attuned as she was to now to the onset of another nightmare, Maura would be jolted out of her sleep by a cry, or a jerk, or a waywardly-flung arm. Now, she could sense them from the moment they started.

Slowly and with practiced care, Maura propped her head up on her elbow, resting it against her palm

On cue the mattress moved again, and she knew it would be Jane's legs tensing – her knees bending and rising up in a protective pose. Some would have called it a foetal position. Maura knew better – from experience. This was the fight position.

Maura couldn't remember exactly when this became their routine – spending the night together this way during cases like these – they didn't even discuss it. One would simply arrive to work with an overnight bag, and that was it. This time, it had been Jane's turn. Maura had seen the growing pressure of their current case weighing more heavily on Jane's shoulders… her slightly rounded posture, the way she slouched in her chair with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose when she thought nobody was looking. There just wasn't enough evidence to pinpoint a suspect, which was frustrating enough for everyone, but knowing they were a rapist and a killer… that was what brought them undone. Yesterday they had found a second victim.

Today, Jane had arrived with her bag.

Maura knew she wouldn't have been sleeping. Jane's nightmares would often wake her up, and she would stubbornly refuse to go back to sleep. Long ago, when invitations and requests were still used, Jane would qualify hers mumbling something about sleeping better when they were together. They had never really discussed why.

Another breath, short and sharp and Maura watched as Jane's features darkened, her brow furrowing tightly, her jaw clenching beneath a tousled lock of dark hair that had fallen across her face. Even now, even after everything, the sight pulled so tightly at Maura's heart there were times she felt it was breaking. She couldn't stop the nightmares. But she could hold them at bay. She would learn how to frighten the frighteners

And she had.

This was their routine.

Maura stayed quietly still, waiting. It was important that the dream establish itself – for Jane to be immersed in it, before she made any moves, lest Jane tumble out of one nightmare and recklessly into another. She knew exactly when the right time was. Maura never woke her. This wasn't about stopping the nightmares, it was about redirection. She studied… she researched, and over time she developed an arsenal that meant she was no longer helpless to the demons that tortured Jane. She was now the ultimate demon-chaser.

She waited for her first cue – the short breaths building into a crescendo, the movement of hands, tightly clenched into fists, up into the space between them.

This was it.

This was where she could make her move.

Her lips parted as she slowly reached forward with her free hand, crossing the distance to where her fingertips could comfortably brush Jane's knuckles.

"Shhhh…" she soothed. Even without the light, she knew how white they would be. She had seen them many times. Carefully, she ran her fingers down the length of Jane's with her right hand. Not too much pressure, no sudden moves. "You're okay. We're okay."

Carefully, she reached down and lightly closed her fingers around the top of Jane's knee, kneading the muscles ever-so-gently. This was how she gauged the tension there – she always could. This would tell her how difficult the night would be.

Once, while she was still learning, Maura had gripped too tightly and caused a recoil in Jane that nearly threw them both off the bed. Jane had woken, muttered something incoherent and been asleep again immediately, the nightmare returning seconds later.

Not any more. No mistakes, no sudden moves. Maura knew this routine well.

"It's okay Jane." She murmured again, returning her fingers across the back of Jane's hand until she could feel the taught skin of the scar tissue under her fingertips. Maura caressed them slowly, a feeling of warmth gliding across her heart knowing this was something only she could do. This was an area only she could go.

She tucked her thumb down in the space where Jane's thumb was clenched and pressed inward, willing her hands to open. "Jane" She whispered. Maura pressed again, using the practiced combination of her voice and her touch to break into Jane's subconscious and let her in. "Let me..."

Help you.

Heal you.

Care for you.

"Hey… let me in…"

Finally– success. After several seconds a small space opened up in Jane's right fist. Maura was waiting for it, and took the opportunity to push her thumb carefully into the space. Jane's breaths still came in short, sharp gasps, her brow still deeply furrowed, her jaw tightly clenched, sweat beading on her forehead. Maura had seen this many times, and knew no matter what, she would need to be patient.

"That's it…. " She said softly, gently prising Jane's fingers loose. "I'm here"

She felt the grip around her thumb loosen further, and Maura shifted her left arm down from her head and used the different angle to gently urge Jane's fingers to relax. This part could take minutes, or hours, depending on the night. Tonight, Maura was lucky.

"That's it Jane," She felt the fingers relax under her touch, signalling her way in. "That's it."

All part of the routine.

With her left hand still covering Jane's, she slowly ran the fingers of her other hand up Jane's left arm. Out of nowhere she felt Jane's fingers begin to tense and Maura paused, resting her hand lightly against Jane's upper arm and gently stroking a patch of skin on with her thumb.

She frowned, her eyes glistening in the light as they studied Jane's face.

"It's only me Jane. You're okay, I'm here."

The fingers relaxed again, but Maura could feel Jane's pulse racing.

"Nearly there.." She said softly. Without breaking contact, she ran her fingers up over Jane's shoulder to her neck. She felt Hoyt's scar pass under her touch and again, felt Jane tense immediately. "It's just me honey, you're okay".

She reached up to Jane's hairline, gently brushing the wayward curl off her face. Jane's brow relaxed just enough for Maura to know she could safely continue, and she slowly, carefully stroked along her forehead, using her thumb to softly massage the lines out of the bridge of her nose.

"I've got you Jane, you're okay."

Maura smiled slightly as she felt Jane's fingers curl around hers. The move wasn't a tender one, Maura recognised it more as an instinctive move towards someone offering protection. After this many years Maura knew, in a way, she was. Her smile tipped up in one corner of her mouth as she imagined the look on Jane's face if she ever found out this was how she got her nights' sleep these days. She would lose it

*Ever the protector*, she mused as her fingers brushed tenderly over Jane's features. *Never the protected.*

"That's it Jane, it's me." She soothed, still smiling as the lines began to fade from Jane's face. "You can relax now. You're safe. I've got you."

Maura now lowered herself completely back down onto the bed, careful not to disturb the hand enclosed in hers. With her other hand she brushed Jane's hair back off her forehead again and rested her palm against Jane's chest, just above her heart. Years ago, she had told herself it was for her to efficiently judge both heart rate and breathing. Now, it was for all those things and… because she knew underneath her hand beat the most loyal, caring heart the world would ever know. It felt good to protect it.

"Relax." She whispered to the erratic beat against her palm, then gently squeezed the hand in hers. "Relax Jane"

This was the part that could take the longest – for while the nightmare had ended, nothing had taken its place. Sometimes, if she wasn't careful and broke contact too early, it could all go back again. But Maura had found that as time had gone on, she had less and less desire to break the contact at all.

Jane's face was more peaceful, her hand soft and warm in Maura's. On cue, Maura moved her other hand upward again from the position against Jane's heart to her cheek, before gently stroking her forehead and jawline in random motions. She began humming a song she had heard on the radio that afternoon. There was nothing special about the songs she chose, they were normally ones she had heard on the radio that day, ones that existed within her comfortable vocal range. Ones that she could remember.

Jane's face calmed, her erratic breathing stilled and was now following a more even, deep rhythm. Her lips had parted slightly and every so often her fingers twitched in Maura's hand, indicating the beginning of a new sleep cycle… one that Maura knew, from experience, would be more restful.

"Good night Jane." She murmered to her sleeping friend, softly kissing her own fingers and pressing them to Jane's cheek, then returning them to the space over her heart, allowing the steady rhythm to soothe her. Only now did she allow her own weary eyes to close, a smile tinting her lips in a mixture of victory, and the prize; a raven-haired lion sleeping peacefully beside her, .

"Hey! Sleepyhead!"

"Mmmmpph…" Maura awoke to the sun streaming through the window and the silhouette of a fully-clothed detective holding a steaming mug of….

"Get up – I made coffee" The mug was thrust towards her, and as Maura adjusted her position she could see the beaming smile that accompanied it. "And no, it's not instant."

Maura sat up, rubbing her eyes and trying to shake the sleep from her brain. "Thanks.. I think." She muttered, then opened one eye at the clock beside the bed. Her eyes immediately widened in horror. 7:15am! … WHAT – she had slept in! She was going to be LATE – well, not late late, but late for her. She glared at Jane, who shrugged.

"You were sleeping. Figured you needed it."

That part was true enough.

"But now I'm going to be-" she began her half-hearted protest before Jane cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"You're not going to be late. You're never late. You're just…. Not as early as you wanted to be." Maura scowled. Jane pointed a finger at her. "But if you don't move your butt right now, you will be late!" She tossed a towel in Maura's direction and busily began arranging clothes into a neat pile, humming softly to herself…

A familiar tune from the radio.

Maura regarded her back with a raised eyebrow, before breaking into a knowing smile. She gathered the blankets in her hands and pulled them off her in one go, clutching at the towel as she rose, padding away to the bathroom.

Yep, Maura, the ultimate demon-chaser.