Figuring It Out Along the Way

The Trouble with Smurfs

November 25th 2012

Conner-10 month's old

Clark's POV

The sound of Conner giggling distracts me from the article I am currently writing on my living room couch. Looking up, I see the happy baby sitting in his playpen, finding the children's book in front of him all too humorous. Jimmy had bought it for Conner the first time he stopped by to meet the baby. It is Superman themed and has buttons that make noise each time Conner presses one. A common baby book, but Conner loves it. I can't even count the amount of times I have read the book to the baby. I almost got rid of it for the sake of my own sanity, but knowing how much joy the book gives my son, I couldn't do it. By now, Conner knows the story and can identify what sound comes from each button, taking away the surprise. But none the less, the book never ceases to bring a giant smile to the boy's face each time he plays with it.

Conner's tiny hand pushes a yellow button shaped as a taxi cab. The sound of car horns streams from the book's speaker, followed by the wonderful sound of baby giggles. I can't help but smile at my son's adorable laugh and cheerful face. His bright blue eyes meet mine, sending him into another spurt of happy sounds, glad to have his father's attention.

Leaving my article in the dust, I get up from my seat and make my way over to the playpen. Sewer tunnel construction can wait.

As I approach, Conner's hand's fly into the air indicating he wants to be picked up. I comply with his wishes, and scoop the excited baby into my arms. Conner's giggles become even louder. Ahhhh, what a wonderful sound. Who knew such a simple sound could bring me such happiness.

"What's so funny?" I tease the boy.

Conner laughs at the altered voice I only use when it is just us two. He lifts his hand and places it on my cheek.

"Is it my face? Is my face funny to you?"

Joyful shrieks erupt from infant.

"Here, let me try to fix it" I say as I raise my eyebrows and clench my nose. The baby laughs again. "What, that's not better? How about this." I stick my tongue out, sending Conner into a fit of giggles.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door, ending the delightful moment. Still holding Conner, I walk over to my apartment's front door. Opening it reveals Oliver Queen standing in the hall.

"Hey Clark!" he exclaims, stepping into the apartment. Scooping Conner out of my arms he says "Hey mini-Supes, your favorite uncle's here." Conner giggles while reaching for Oliver's beard to play with.

I mumble to myself "Hello Oliver. Please, why don't you come in?"

The archer doesn't seem to notice my annoyance, he is too focused on the babbling baby in his hands. Conner is petting his beard with a curious expression. When petting isn't enough anymore, he suddenly grabs onto the blonde hair. Oliver yelps and pulls the infant away from his body, so Conner is dangling out in front of him.

"Kid's got a grip" he states.

"Yeah, sorry. Conner's going through a grabbing phase."

"I see." Oliver chuckles, rubbing his beard and settling Conner onto the couch. The boy takes an interest in the red pillow next to him. Luckily my laptop with the article is on the coffee table, out of his reach.

"So Oliver, what brings you to Metropolis?" I ask.

"Shopping. Jason's birthday is next week and as his godfather, I want to get him something cool. When I went to the toy store though, I was at a loss. I figured you could help since you have a kid."

"You do realize Jason is twelve years older than Conner."

"He wasn't always! C'mon Supes, help a guy out."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just go to the store with me and help me find something. You can bring the kid. You want to go right Conner?" he asks the red cushion my son is hiding under.

Conner answers in baby babble "Ga-da-voo-voo."

"See, kid knows what's up. So how about it?"

"Oliver, I really don't see how I could be of any help. You should know more than I do. Didn't you adopt Roy when he was eleven?"

"Yeah, and I stunk at gifts. It didn't help that I bought him everything he asked for when it wasn't a holiday."

"Bruce does the same thing" I state.

"Exactly! What do you get a kid who already has everything? That's why I need help. Besides, have you gotten him a present yet?"

"No. I was to pick him something up from Kansas when I'm there for Thanksgiving…"

"What would you get him in Kansas?" Oliver interrupts me. "A corn husk."

"They have stores in Kansas" I defend.

Rolling his eyes, Oliver continues "We can go right now and get it off your mind. You wanna go to the toy store Conner?" he asks the pillow. When there is no response, Oliver grabs the pillow and lifts it into the air. A ripping sound slices through the air as Oliver holds up half the red pillow and Conner is clutching onto the other piece, still on the couch. "I'll pay for that."

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Fine, I'll go. Just let me grab my bag."

"Hear that pipsqueak. We're going to the store!"

I listen to Conner's joyful coos and gurgles as I leave the room. Smiling, I grab the brown bag in the corner of my bedroom, actually looking forward to the shopping adventure.

Oliver's POV

Maybe I should have stayed in Star City for shopping. The stores here suck. I make my way through the aisles, still not finding anything. Clark is pushing a shopping cart with Conner in the kid's seat. I hear the kid laugh every once in a while. When I turned back once, I caught Clark making faces at the kid. I would have made fun of him, but considering where the two were couple years ago, it's nice to see.

"Do you think Jason would like an x-box?" I ask Clark.

"Isn't that a bit over the top?"

"No, of course not! That's what the cool godfather does. Besides, it's not like I can't afford it."

"What is up with you wanting to be the cool godfather all of a sudden?"

I shrug, "You were Richard's and the kid still adores you. It's my turn to be the favorite. How about a Nerf gun? He would have a lot of fun with that, cause a bunch of trouble" I smirk.

"Bruce met Jason when the boy was stealing tires off the batmobile. I think he can cause enough trouble without your help."

Raising my eyebrow at the Kryptonian, I say "Geez Supes. Didn't know you thought so poorly of the kid."

"I don't" Clark defends. "I like Jason, I know he's a good kid deep down. He just...has a lot of problems right now. He's getting better though, even in the few month's he has spent with Bruce, the boy has opened up a lot. Richard seems to like him."

"Are we surprised?"

Clark chuckles "Not a bit." Conner's babbling recaptures his attention. The boy is staring at a stuffed bear with a red cape and Superman logo on its chest. Smiling Clark picks up the toy and hands it to the cooing baby who excitedly accepts the bear. Clark's smile grows even bigger as the child giggles at the bear version of his father.

"Already have the kid trained I see."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing" I snicker. "He's already got you wrapped around his finger."

"And Roy didn't do the same to you when you took him in?"

I smirk, "Pretty great isn't it?"

Clark smiles back down at Conner, "Yeah." The baby lets out a loud laugh, seeing his father watching him. "Never get tired of hearing that" Clark tells me."

"I don't think I ever saw him laugh as a teen, now he never stops." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I could suck them back in. The man of steel's happy expression drops into one of guilt. "Hey, stop" I say, snapping him back to reality. "Don't think about the past. You're a good dad now, that's what matters. Look at Conner, the kid couldn't be happier." When Clark's mood doesn't lighten, I try distraction. "How about a paintball gun."

"That is a terrible idea" he mumbles.

"No it's not!" I exclaim, walking into the corresponding aisle. Rows of toy guns and paintballs fill the shelves. Dang, they have every color under the sun.

"Bruce is going to skin you alive."

"Pshh. He'll get over it. What color paint balls do you think I should get them?"

"Oliver…" Clark warns.

"What do you think Conner? Blue?" I ask the baby who giggles as an answer. "I'll take that as a yes."

"This is a terrible idea. You know Bruce's apprehension about guns."

"It's a toy" I scoff, grabbing a couple boxes of blue paint balls.

Clark tries to grab one of the boxes from my hand "Jason doesn't even have the proper protective gear for paintball."

"I'm sure he can scrounge something up in that dungeon of a hideout Bruce has. If not, I'll just buy him some" I reason.

Grabbing the box in my hand, Clark chastises "Oliver. No."

"Clark yes" I begin to tease, trying to grab the box from his hand. Unfortunately the man of steel has a firm grip and the box rips in half. During our jostle, the some of the balls in the packaging must have burst because now blue paint is heading straight towards the cart. It splatters onto the carts items, including Conner. The boy blinks from surprise, but doesn't cry. It must not have gotten into his eyes. The paint along with some shells of the balls drip off the boy.

"Conner!" Clark yells and dashes to his son.

A store worker turns the aisle corner and freezes when he sees the scene. Standing there wide eyed; he looks between painted Conner, frantic Clark, the messy floor and shelves, then finally me.

I call out to him "I'll pay for this."

Clark's POV

"It's not coming off Oliver!" I yell, entering the living room with Conner in my arms. The archer is sitting back on my couch, admiring the toy gun he bought Jason. "He's still blue."

Looking towards me, Oliver tries to hold back an obvious laugh when he sees Conner. "Well at least it's not patchy."

"This isn't funny!"

"It will be years from now."

"Oliver!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down. Give him here."

I hand over my blue child. I had grabbed a pair of worn out red pajama pants for him to wear, that way he won't stain any good clothes. Oliver gives Conner a look down. My poor baby's skin is entirely blue. I didn't even know our skin could absorb color like this, it must be because he is so young. I got all the paint out of his hair, luckily it didn't stain that part of my son.

Oliver chuckles "It matches his eyes."

I glare, only barely trying to hold back my heat vision. "What am I going to do? Thanksgiving is in two days AND HE'S BLUE!"

"Just say it's leftover from Halloween; costume malfunction."

"That was nearly a month ago!"

He gives me a disapproving look "If you aren't going to give suggestions, you can't shoot down mine." I run a hand through my hair in frustration. Conner begins to whine and Oliver asks "What's wrong with him?"

"He's probably hungry" I state, heading to the kitchen. I grab a small cup and pour some cheerios into it, all the while trying to come up with a plan of what to do. I will never hear the end of this if I bring Conner to Thanksgiving in this state. I can't even imagine how angry…

"Hey Supes" I hear Oliver laugh, joined by Conner. "Look."

Turning my attention back to the two, I'm rendered speechless. Conner is sitting on the table still wearing his red pants along with part of the ripped red pillow from earlier as a hat. The white stuffing from said pillow is tied around his chin, giving the effect of a beard.

Standing next to him is a beaming Oliver who proudly declares "He's Poppa Smurf!"

I sigh

"His mom's going to kill me."