It had been a couple of days since Yandu's funeral. Life on the Milano was relatively peaceful for the two-time savers of the galaxy. When suddenly Peter began running through the halls yelling for everyone. They quickly gathered on the bridge to find out what had him so panicked.

"What's going on, Peter?" Gamora asked.

"Yes," Drax questioned. "Why are you running about screaming? Do you have the explosive diarrhea again?"

"Guys," Peter said. "We need to go to Earth, right now. This second."

His companions all looked at one another. "Is this because you want to see your family again, Peter?" Gamora asked.

"What? No, no it's not that."

"Have you finally given up on your hopeless infatuation with Gamora and decided to return to your home world to find a mate? Someone who both likes to dance and procreate?" Drax asked.

Mantis raised her hand. "If you are going to procreate can I watch? I would like to see how the process works. Also, does the female eat the male afterwards?"

"No," Rocket told her. "They usually just latch onto the guy and leech off of him for about thirty years."

"Really?" Mantis asked excitedly. "Does this involve tentacles?"

Gamora frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you looking for a woman, Peter? Is the entire female population of the rest of the galaxy not enough for you?"

"What? No! You guys this has nothing to do with my family or hooking up." Peter told them. "We have to save Earth! It's been taken over by aliens!"

Everyone looked startled.

"I am groot?"

"Yeah," Rocket agreed. "I haven't heard anything about that either."

"Peter, are you sure?" Gamora asked. "I don't mean to sound rude, but Earth is a backward little world a good distance from the galactic core. I don't think anyone would bother conquering it."

"And if they did, we would hear about it," Kraglin said. "Yandu always kept an eye on it just in case. No one was ever interested in it; not the Kree, Skrulls, or the Sovereign. None of them ever bothered with it."

"Then it's some other alien race! I just know Earth has definitely been taken over and needs our help."

Again, the others all looked at each other.

"Are you sure this is not just an excuse to go procreate without Gamora getting upset with you?" Drax asked. Gamora sent him a hard look. "Not that you would want to." He winked.

Gamora gave an irritated sigh. "Peter, why do you think Earth has been taken over?"

"Here! Just take a listen to this!"

He put one ear plug of his Zune to her ear and pressed play. She was suddenly bombarded with a sickly and annoyingly overenthusiastic melody.

'I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!'

Gamora made a face. "What is this?"

"This is the proof that something is seriously wrong on Earth! This actually passes for music now! There is no way that could happen unless the entire planet was under some kind of secret mind control! We have to go there, find out who's responsible, and save the world!"

Gamora hesitated. "Peter, aren't you overreacting? One terrible song doesn't mean your entire home world is under the secret control of an alien race."

"Oh yeah?" He loaded another song.

'Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So, put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel

Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert

And you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch,

You want it rough, you're out of bounds

I want you smothered, want you covered,

Like my Waffle House hash browns

Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola

Stock you are inclined to make me rise

An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

(Do it now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So, let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it again now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So, let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.'

Making a face Gamora finally took the ear piece out. "What is this 'Discovery Channel'? Some sort of center for prostitution and debauchery?"

"I have no idea! But do you really think any sentient species with even a trace of intelligence would call this music? The only answer is aliens taking over everyone's minds!"

She thought about it, and finally nodded. "I guess that is the only logical answer. All right, let's go to Earth."

"Awesome!" Peter sat down in the pilot's seat. "Oh, and as soon as we get there I'm going to show you the most amazing and delicious food in the universe. Twinkies!"