The Past Goes Up in Flames

Many would assume that when someone is the victim to heartache, they would turn and run as fast as they could from the source that inflicted the pain. However, often we forget to calculate that sometimes the heartache felt is another expression of the undeniable love that one has been harboring for the source since the moment destiny decided for them to cross paths.

"Can't you go any faster?" I snapped angrily to the cab driver.

"Ma'am, I'm going as fast as I can," he replied with similar emotion. "There's not much I can do when a fire's backed up the whole bridge."

I groaned. This guy had no appreciation for journalism. "Forget it; I'll walk!" Quickly handing over my fare, I got out and rushed down the sidewalk towards the billowing smoke. "Where there's smoke, there's a story," I muttered as I pushed people out of my way. I got a lot of angry complaints but I chose to ignore them. One major thing I'd learned in my younger days was that if you wanted to be a reporter, you had to deal with all the negativity that came with the job. Most would walk away but I love challenges and being a reporter in a big city like Metropolis was the perfect place to find them.

I rushed in my high heels until I reached the disaster. Firefighters were already on the scene, their hoses aimed towards the apartment complex in a desperate attempt to extinguish the roaring flames. Police officers were managing the crowd; they'd even gone so far as to put up caution tape. Ignoring the yellow strip, I slipped past the cops and headed for a firefighter.

"Excuse me, Lois Lane, Daily Planet."

"Not now, lady, can't you see we've got a situation?" the firefighter angrily retorted. "If you don't want to get smoke in your lungs, I'd get out of here."

I rolled my eyes. "Smoke in my lungs hasn't bothered me in the past. What caused the fire?"

"LANE! What do you think you're doing?"

I smiled innocently as Inspector Sawyer marched towards me, her sunglasses flashing dangerously.

"Hey, Maggie, what's up?"

"Lois," she groaned, "this is not a safe environment. I need you to get behind the line with the other reporters."

"And miss out on all the juice? Heck no! Mags, give me the details. What happened? How did the fire start? Was it deliberate or an accident? Do you think the building is going to have to come down?"

"LOIS!"

"What?"

The two of us stared silently into each other's eyes; hers exasperated, mine fiery. After a moment, Maggie caved. "We suspect that the fire was deliberate. This building was so old that most of the woodwork was doomed to light up like a candle. If the building doesn't collapse, we're going to have to tear it down."

Scribbling quick notes onto a notepad, I asked, "Do you know who started the fire?"

"No," Maggie muttered. "We couldn't find a body. However, we did find ashen footprints outside the window to the fourteenth floor."

I paused and looked up. "You think they jumped?"

"If they did, their body isn't anywhere on the pavement."

Knitting my eyebrows, I looked up at the fourteenth floor. "Maybe they used some kind of device to climb down the building."

"Or they flew out," Maggie joked.

I audibly cringed. "I doubt that," I said testily.

Maggie noticed the frost in my tone but decided not to comment. "Well, whoever they were, they must be a foe to Superman."

"Why would you say that?" I demanded.

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "Lois, don't you recognize this building?"

"Why would I-?" But then I paused.

For the first time since my arrival I noticed the old familiar entrance, the ugly looking canopy over the doors providing little to no shade from the sun. Old flower boxes lined the ground windows on the outside. Looking up at the top, I knew the upper floor consisted of a suite with a balcony, perfect for looking out at the rest of the city. My lower lip started to tremble.

Before I could speak a blur of red and blue shot through the sky; Superman had arrived on the scene. Without a moment's pause he blew a gust of wind out of his lungs that killed the roaring flames instantly. He looked around at the ground, probably to see if any needed assistance. Finding that the paramedics had things under control, he turned to leave but then paused.

Slowly, he glided towards the top floor and stopped in the air. His solitary state was beginning to draw attention. He didn't seem to notice at all. His eyes were fixed upon the ruins of what once was a balcony thriving with plants and white metal garden furniture. Even from the ground, I could see the anguish in his eyes. In that moment, though I would deny it for days, I ached just as much as he did. Five unbearable minutes seemed to pass before he turned and flew away so fast that I blinked and he was gone.

I didn't even bother to stick around to gather any more details concerning the fire. My heart wasn't in it. I walked away from the ruined building feeling as if a part of me had been wounded. I glanced back at the building and without warning a few tears fell down my cheeks.

In the elevator of the Daily Planet, my cell phone rang. "Hey Luce," I mumbled.

"I just saw the news," my sister said. "Lois, I'm sorry. That apartment meant so much to you and-"

"Lucy, now's not a good time," I said forcefully. "I'll call you later."

Before she could reply, I hung up. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes and leaned against the elevator, grateful that I was its only occupant. A memory from long ago played before my mind and I remembered the night when I first met him. Technically, he'd met me, saving me from a malfunctioning helicopter. That rescue led to my first interview with him which took place on the top floor of the apartment complex which had just been severely burned. It was the birthplace of so many interviews, wonderful evenings, and the name of Superman. The location had even been turned into a museum of sorts where the public could go to see where the first interview with Superman occurred. Now it was nothing more than a memory.

I tried to bury my feelings. I'd been fighting them since he'd come back and I was determined to conquer them as many times as I had to. I had every right not to think about the Man of Steel. A little over five years ago he left Earth in search of Krypton but he didn't even bother to say goodbye. Neither did he find it important to tell me that I was pregnant with his child. Now that last part had been one rude wake up call. Here I was moping over the loss of my superhero only to find out I was pregnant! That had been a trying time in my life – one where he was absent.

Some may think I'm a terrible person for not immediately forgiving him when he reappeared six months ago. Can you blame me for holding a grudge? He ditched me without any explanation and through circumstances I still don't understand I gave birth to his son! Oh, I'm not complaining about Jason; he's the greatest treasure in my life. I'm complaining about the fact that his father didn't even bother to be there for either of us when we needed him most. He came swooping into our lives after five years of absence and expected everything to be the same. How wrong he was! I'd moved on. I'd found Richard.

Richard; now there's one can of worms I cringe when thinking about. After Superman saved all of us from Luthor's last plot, Richard and I have had a falling out in our relationship. Richard refused to stand between what I really wanted even though I plainly told him that there was nothing there to want. I had him. What more could I want? But for some reason, he decided to break off our four year engagement and move to England to work for the Daily Planet's sister location in London. Currently, the only one who knows about the break up is Richard's uncle and my boss, Perry White; everyone else believes that Richard is on an extended business trip. He's been gone for three months. I wonder how long it will take before people figure out that he's not coming back.

My stomach tightened as I thought about that. Everything was Superman's fault! He probably didn't even realize how royally he'd messed up my life when he made the decision to leave me five and a half years ago. Because of that choice, I'd had to endure pregnancy alone, raise my son without his father, find a worthy father figure, and then watch as he walked out too - all because Superman had decided to shove himself back into my life. Everything had been perfect until he showed up. I was happy. I had a family. Everything was looking up.

Looking up…every night for the past five years I'd look up into the night sky outside of the house off Riverside Drive... My heart would have the stupidest experience through the nightly routine. First it would fill with longing, then with bitterness, anger, and finally sorrow. Every night had been the same until he came back.

Groaning, I shoved my palms into my eyes. Why couldn't he leave me alone?! Not only did I have to endure the torture of being his personal chronicler again, I was seeing him everywhere including in my own head. Again, I cursed him. How dare he; the selfish jerk! How dare he leave me and my son for five years and then return with the foolish notion that, now he knew about Jason, he could visit him any time! He haunted my apartment almost every night to read a bed time story to his son. He'd stay until the story was finished, kiss Jason goodnight, wish me well, and then fly away. He never stayed. Not that I gave the impression that I wanted him to. I was angry and he knew it. Every time we were near each other things became strained. Our interviews that once lasted for hours now only took fifteen minutes.

The elevator doors dinged open and I mentally shoved Superman and every annoying thought about him back into the mental drawer I usually kept him in. Strolling into the bullpen, I was grateful for the sudden distraction of noise. Reporters rushed from one place to another, their hands filled with papers or in some cases, tablets. The Daily Planet had been undergoing an upgrade to the new technologies being introduced to the public. The old computers had been cycled out for thin flat monitors and much faster internet. The technology was the number one of the market, made by both Wayne Enterprises and Queen Industries. LexCorp would have been in the running had Lex Luthor not been found and arrested for trying to once again not only kill Superman but the human race. He would be doing jail time until the day he died.

I did the typical required dance of dodging my fellow employees as they went here and there, some loaded down with files, others with coffee and donuts; the latter sounded super good. Deciding to make it to the break room, I set my purse down at my desk only to find that a fresh cup of coffee and a large chocolate cake donut were waiting for me. Puzzled, I looked over to find the hunched back of Clark Kent. Unconsciously I smiled for the first time today. Clark had not only brought me coffee but also my favorite donut. How had he remembered that chocolate cake donuts were my favorite? It had been years since we'd seen each other due to his five year trip to see the world. I suddenly realized I hadn't even bothered to catch up with Clark and he'd been home for six months! With all the turmoil going on between Richard and me, I hadn't really had any time for friends let alone my ex-partner.

Clark's hands were pounding away at his keyboard. He'd obviously hooked a good story; he never typed like that unless he had some really juicy facts. His back was hunched a little, his shoulders pulled up, his face close to the monitor. I walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. As to be expected, Clark flipped out from the sudden contact. Leaping several feet into the air, he knocked over his cup of coffee which spilled all over the notes around his desk.

"Lois!" he cried distractedly while trying to wipe up the mess, "I didn't know you were here."

"But you were expecting me to show up any moment," I said with a grin. Clark avoided my eyes as he continued to clean off his desk. I helped him as best I could; I kind of felt responsible since I'd startled him so badly.

"I kind of figured you'd be here soon," Clark muttered as he took the majority of his notes and threw them away. "You're usually in around ten these days."

I raised an eyebrow and tried to hide my smile. Clark had always had a crush on me; it wasn't really a secret. Most people would probably find it alarming that a man knew their schedule so well but I'd been on so many assignments with Clark I knew he wasn't like other men. He was very old fashioned. That was one thing I'd noticed right off the bat when I'd first met him. Clark Kent was a genuine gentleman, a very hard thing to find, especially now a days.

"Thanks for the coffee and the donut, Clark," I said sincerely. "I'm really sorry I messed up your notes."

"Golly, Lois, you didn't mess them up," Clark said hurriedly, "my elbow did that."

"Still, all your work," I pointed out, eyeing the trashcan filled with brown stained yellow paper.

"I didn't need it anymore anyway," Clark assured. "I'd already typed up everything I needed from them."

I looked over his shoulder at his monitor. "What's the story?"

"Finders keepers," Clark said.

"Clark, I won't steal from you," I said with a grin.

"Only because I've typed everything up," Clark observed.

How did this man know me so well? Laughing, I leaned against his desk and folded my arms. "You're right," I admitted. "Now, what's the story?"

"A robbery that took place two hours ago," Clark answered. "The thieves were trying to run off with a million from Metropolis City Bank. Luckily the authorities apprehended them after a small chase. Superman stopped the car by melting some of the asphalt."

I stiffened when his name was mentioned. "I bet he didn't think about how much damage that does to the city. Do you know how long it will take to pour in new asphalt and fix the ground? That road is probably going to be shut down for a week!"

Clark's expression suddenly turned into a heavy frown. "I bet he didn't think about that," he agreed. "Maybe he can help fix it?"

"Oh, Clark, come on," I scoffed. "Superman fixing a road? He's got other things to occupy his time."

"But, you just said that he probably hadn't thought about the damage," Clark sputtered. "If he knew, don't you think he'd fix it?"

"No," I replied flatly. "He doesn't usually think about the details, does he? Thanks for the coffee, Clark. I've got a story of my own I need to write."

I regretted speaking to Clark that way but I couldn't help it. He'd brought up Superman. Darn it; that man was going to follow me no matter what.

"LANE! MY OFFICE! NOW!"

I rolled my eyes. Deviating from my desk, I headed for where Perry White stood waiting. The moment I closed the door, Perry's hardened exterior melted. "I saw the news, Lois," he said gently. "Are you alright?"

I denied a scowl from forming on my face. Deciding to play ignorant, I folded my arms and leaned against the wall. "I'm fine, Chief, although I have to say I don't know what you're talking about."

Perry frowned. "Don't play coy with me, Lane. That apartment meant the world to you."

I couldn't help the scowl from showing this time. "Perry, it was just a building! There's nothing important about it. Buildings can be replaced."

"But memories can't be," Perry pointed out.

"Some memories aren't worth remembering," I snapped.

"You can't tell me that you're not upset over the fact that the first place you interviewed Superman has gone up in flames!"

"Perry, I'm not upset!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Lois!"

"Perry, enough already! What's done is done. I can't magically turn back time and make the building reappear and neither can Superman. It's gone. There's no use crying over spilled milk so let it go, okay?"

I hadn't noticed my eyes tearing up. Perry sighed heavily through his nose before walking over and shutting the blinds to his office, enveloping us in privacy; he usually only did this when he wanted to give a heavy lecture to someone. I was surprised when he came over and gave me a hug. That was the last straw; darn the old man! The tears fell free from my eyes.

"I'm sorry it burned down, Lois," Perry muttered.

"It doesn't matter," I muttered stubbornly into his shoulder.

He stroked my hair. "Of course it doesn't," he softly mocked.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "I just have something in my eye."

"Of course you do."

"Shut up, Perry."

The old man's shoulders shook in silent chuckles. He pulled away and looked into my tearstained face. "Lois, do you need to talk again?"

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I realized that venting would probably be best. It was odd but ever since Richard broke off the engagement, Perry had stepped even more into the role of being a mentor and a guide to me; the man was Richard's uncle and he was giving me all the advice! I deeply appreciated it though. My mother had been gone for years and my father had never been the type where I could openly discuss things.

Walking over to a chair, I plopped down. "I hate the fact that no matter where I go, he's in my life," I angrily muttered.

Perry smiled a little as he walked over to his chair behind his desk and sat down. It amused him that I never openly admitted when I needed to vent; I would just jump right into it.

"You would think that he'd get the hint to stay away from me," I continued. "Yet his shadow always follows mine. And it doesn't help that you won't let anyone else interview him!"

Perry raised an eyebrow. "Lois, if I assigned somebody else to do the job I'd only ever hear you complaining about how they report the interviews. Your jealousy is something I'd rather not deal with."

"I wouldn't be jealous," I scoffed.

"Oh really?" Perry asked. "Because the last article of the Metropolis Star got an article with the Man of Steel and you went on a tirade for over an hour of all the things Kate Shellings did wrong."

"I did not!"

We both knew that was a lie. Kate Shellings was an idiot. She had no sense of writing style. I was justified in ridiculing her work! I mean, come on, who would ask Superman what his favorite breakfast cereal was? He doesn't even like cereal! At least, I'm pretty sure he doesn't. Whatever! The fact remains that she did a terrible job and I called her out on it. Was that wrong?

"Lois, you were jealous."

"I was not!"

"This was the first time Superman went to a different reporter for an interview," Perry pointed out.

His words felt like a hot knife digging into my heart. "So? He has every right to go to whomever he wants for an interview," I sniffed, pretending indifference. "I'm not his keeper."

"Lois, you are the most stubborn, pigheaded reporter I have ever employed!"

"Then why did you hire me?" I demanded angrily.

"Because you're the best! And the least you can do is be honest with yourself. Admit it; you're upset he went to someone else when he's always come to you."

"I don't have to listen to this," I snapped, standing up.

"Sit down!"

"Make me!" I shouted, folding my arms.

Perry rubbed his face with his hands. "Great Caesar's Ghost, woman! Why are you so stubborn?!"

"Why are you so insistent?" I snapped back.

"Because you're in love with him!"

I opened my mouth to retort but nothing would come out. Huffing angrily, I looked away from him towards the wall.

"Lois, in your last interview with him you told him to go find someone else because you were through. It's your own fault that he actually chose to do that."

"I didn't expect him to actually do it!" I cried. "I was angry, Perry! And of all things he chose a girl twenty years younger than him who works for the Star," I growled. "The Star of all things! It's infuriating and insulting!"

Perry sighed. "So that's what the latest issue is; he chose a younger woman than you."

I stiffened. My reaction confirmed his words. Ten eternal seconds ticked by before I melted. "Fine!" I snapped. "You're right! I was already angry with him before but then he had to go off to someone half his age. Now the tabloids are filled with ridiculous nonsense about how he's moved on because I'm too old for his tastes! Do you know how humiliating that is?! And then, just when I'm trying to forget the past and move on, some idiot has to go and incinerate the first place I ever actually…" I paused. I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

"The first place you fell in love with him," Perry finished. It wasn't a question.

I swallowed painfully, the tears starting again. Deciding not to confirm Perry's assumption, I continued, "And it didn't help that I saw him at the apartment complex; the look in his eyes! His expression was what I felt like on the inside."

"Doesn't that show that he still loves you just as much as you love him?" Perry pointed out.

"It's not enough," I snapped, drying my eyes forcefully. "Perry, he left us. I can't easily forgive him for that."

"But you will forgive him."

I hesitated. Standing up, I muttered, "I need to get back to work. Thanks for the pep talk, Chief." Avoiding his eyes, I left his office.

Sometimes I regret telling Perry everything. Some might think I'm crazy giving away my son's true parentage but Perry had been so determined to find out the true reason for Richard walking out of my life. True, he suspected Superman was the main issue, but he couldn't understand why Richard would leave Jason when he'd practically been his father. Perry had started asking way too many questions and eventually, under a lot of emotional turmoil, I'd cracked and told him everything. What shocked me was that he wasn't surprised to find out that Jason was Superman's son. He'd told me he had suspected all along. Even though it was at times like this that I held enormous regret for spilling the beans, deep down I was immensely grateful that I had someone to talk to.

Sighing, I walked back to my desk and sat down. Clark was gone; he probably had to run off to find a source for his article. Turning to my desk, I picked up the donut he'd saved for me and half smiled as I looked at it. Clark really was a great guy. He always knew how to make me feel better. For some unexplainable reason, my coffee was still hot. I didn't complain; hot coffee went much better with donuts anyway. Draining the plastic cup, I didn't pay too much attention to the two small round burn marks in the bottom. Turning to my keyboard, I began hacking away at the story of the apartment fire; I'd have to do it since I was the only one there from the Planet. Besides, the faster I got it out of the way, the sooner I could go back to focusing on forgetting all about him.

4/24/14