A/N: My very first attempt at a fanfic so I'm sorry for any grammatical errors that I might have missed. This is a Kisame and Sakura story (obviously lol) and I hope you enjoy. Reviews are ALWAYS welcome, even flames. Enjoy.

A/N 2: Okie dokes, I have edited this and the second chapter in order to change the POV for Sakura. The whole first person thing was bothering me so I decided to fix it. The entire story is set in third person now, more flavor I think, and it flows a lot better this way. It took me like two hours to go through it with spell check and manual check in order to fix it so I hope you like it better this way too. As always, reviews are VERY WELCOME. I was a bit thrown to see so many followers and favs and even the amount of traffic this has gotten so far and then to only see two reviews was kind of disheartening. I love feedback so I'd love any and all you'd like to give me. Anyways, thanks all for reading and I'm sorry for the change.

Chapter One

An Inconvenient Series of Truths

...

Congratulations on the mess you made of things;
On trying to reconstruct the air and all that brings.

An oxidation is the compromise you own;
But this is beginning to feel like the dog wants a bone.

You force your fire and then you falsify your deeds;
Your methods dot the disconnect from all your creeds.

And fortune strives to fill the vacuum that it feeds;
But this is beginning to feel like the dog's lost the lead.

...

Sakura

...

She couldn't believe it. Her eyes began to blur so she blinked, hoping she could clear them and maybe it would just disappear, but there it was, all in plain sight. An unbelievably plain sight. Her hands began to tremble and her stomach twisted in knots so severe that vomiting seemed too close by.

How could this have happened? How could she have let it happen?

The shame that she felt for failing to keep chakra regulation on her hormones was almost enough to overshadow the sheer horror that was this situation. Almost.

She carefully placed the little stick down on the sink and slid against the wall, resting her head against the tiles. The same questions kept running through her mind at top speed and she could feel the dull throb begin to form behind her eyelids.

How was she going to deal with this? What would she tell her friends? What would she tell Tsunade?

She let her gaze fall back on the ominous plastic sitting an inch from her head and a fresh wave of nausea took over. She barely had time to grab the rim of the toilet when everything she had for breakfast - which was not much - splattered the bowl. When it seemed as if her stomach had given all it had to give, she barely had any strength to move back to the sink.

It was over, her entire life as a shinobi was over with one little symbol on a stick drenched in pee.

"What am I going to do?" she asked no one, but she knew she had to come up with an answer fast. Her career, her life depended on the decision she needed to make right then and there, even though her only real option had been clear from the start.

She had to get rid of it.

A new resolve forced her off of that floor and out the door of her apartment with a speed she hadn't thought possible. She only had two options at that moment and neither was appealing. She needed to talk to Tsunade but she just couldn't find it in her to face her, the disappointment she'd receive and explanations she'd have to give were too much. She was ashamed of herself enough; she didn't need it from other ends too.

This whole ordeal brought back memories that she had worked so hard to leave behind the past few months and her eyes began to water at the thought of the night that had caused all of this.

Suddenly the sun seemed too bright, the outside world too much. She was so set on leaving the house to carry out a plan to fix this and now all she wanted to do was run back home to crawl in bed and hide. Ten feet from the door and she buckled under the weight of it all, racing back upstairs and locking every lock on her front door behind her.

At least she made it to the bed before the tears came because she was sure that if she had been anywhere else, her legs would have let her. Memories that just a few hours ago had seemed like an unreal dream tore her down until she was sure that they were the only things that were real.

Two months ago, Amegakure

The past week and a half of the undercover solo mission she had been sent on to gather intel on the rumors of potential homeland threats had amounted to nothing more than dying her hair black and sitting in various bars and nightclubs eavesdropping from a booth.

If there was a medal awarded to the shinobi with the most useless information in her arsenal, she would have already won it. Everything from marital problems, to Ponzi schemes to the best way to keep a long haired dog from getting tangles, was unknowingly divested to her. It would have been different if she had been in some civilian bar, most of the ones she had frequented from dusk till dawn, under the guise of a girl who loved to par-tay, had mostly shinobi clientele. It was almost as if they knew she was listening, all talk of the shinobi world had ceased and thus began trivial chit-chat.

After week one she had been more than irritated, the desire to run up to one of them and use force to get what she needed had surfaced more than once. Considering she was in unknown territory, that option would have gotten her killed in some way or the other, so she had to refrain.

Halfway through that week she decided that maybe if she got more involved in the clubbing atmosphere she might be able to hear something of worth. She started dancing. She caught the tiniest hints of an upcoming shinobi disturbance from men who would have rather discussed how much better her clothes would look on their floor than work. Eventually, she got tired of the groping and the leering looks and this led her to the bar, where she got nothing at all.

Two weeks in found her at the hottest dance club in Ame's lower district, sitting at the bar wishing she had brought a pair of sunglasses to deflect the violent strobe lights on the dance floor. Every time the bartender would make a round, she'd have a cranberry juice, although she needed a drink desperately. She wiggled her hands into her way-too-tight jeans and pulled out her cell phone, noting with no surprise that it was nearing two-thirty in the morning and that her night was looking no more prosperous than the last.

She had gotten up to leave when she saw him come in.

Compared to the various shiny shirted morons she had been mingling with every night he looked unusually dim. He was tall, so tall it almost made the huge club look small and broader than most men she had ever met, so he made an impression. Though he was dressed in a way that clearly said he didn't want to be noticed, a black hooded jacket, black jeans and black gloves on his hands kind of screamed "look at me", at least to her. No one else seemed to notice the dark stranger in their otherwise colorful midst, so either they were all terrible at their jobs or they just didn't care to pay attention to something other than dancing and the opposite sex. His hood covered nearly his entire face, so all she could see when he sat a few seats from her was the strict line of his mouth and his sharply angled chin. It was too dark to really see much anyway, so she supposed it didn't matter. The strobe lights only did so much. He was clearly maintaining his chakra level so well that it was as if he had none, so she knew he was indeed a shinobi.

Unlike her, he apparently didn't see any problem with imbibing because he ordered four shots of sake and sucked them down faster than her eye could follow. She watched as his head tilted towards her and she tried to look away fast enough to avoid being caught gawking at his sheer tenacity to drink like a fish. Unfortunately, he was faster than she was and she froze, his eyes catching hers. It was so unusual, she couldn't see them but she could feel them holding her in place, when he finally looked back down she felt like she was going to have a heart attack. She couldn't explain it, but she had been caught like a deer in headlights, drawn to something darker and more promising than the idiots in this club.

He had information she wanted, he surely had to, and there was something about his aura that even suppressing chakra couldn't stop. She ordered another juice and began to work out a plan on how to approach him. Any kunoichi would have used the typical seduction routine but for some reason, she didn't think that would even work. Sure he was obviously a man but he was clearly a man who had the skill and knowledge to recognize such an assault. Maybe if he had a few more drinks in him...

She watched discreetly as he tipped back two more shots like they were water and narrowed her eyes at her own drink. More than ever, with the anxiety of completing this mission nipping at her heels, she wished she could have this stranger's tenacity. Well...maybe just one would be okay; she knew she could handle at least one. Hell, she could handle two if she wanted and still be just fine. Curiously, she peered up from under her lashes to find his head pointed in her direction, he seemed to be watching her too. Maybe this could be the icebreaker she needed.

Quietly, slyly, she slid across the empty bar stool, pouted her lips and proceeded to play it cool.

"What are you drinking?" She found she didn't have to speak as loudly as she had thought. That was a good start, just a simple, curious, safe question.

"Why? Tired of fruit juice?" His voice was deep, but she had expected that. What she hadn't counted on was the way that the resonant rumble would spread through the bar itself and travel up her arm, manifesting itself in the hairs on her neck. She supposed he meant it as a joke but his voice was humorless, and she couldn't see his face.

"I'm not really much of a drinker." She didn't know what else to add to that that wouldn't make her look like a complete idiot. He didn't speak, but when two more shots appeared in front of him, he slid one to her and she was grateful. Any shinobi of any worth would think it stupid to take a drink from a complete stranger who was clearly a shady sort, but she watched the bartender pour it and she would have seen if this guy had spiked her drink. She needed this simple thing to open him up and she would have to use it. She took her shot just as smoothly as he did, at the same time, and too late did she realize her mistake. She should have made a bit of a show of it, considering she had just said she didn't drink much. If he noticed though, he made no indication and slid yet another in front of her. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Trying to get me drunk?"

His mouth - or at least what part of it she could see - crooked up in the corner just the slightest, something akin to a smirk and the effect it had on her was undesirable.

"You don't have to drink it."

"Well," Though she knew better, knew it was a bad idea to allow herself even a minute bit of disadvantage in this man's presence, though she already knew she was outmatched, knew from the beginning.

Abandoning her caution completely she picked the small glass up, tipped it back even faster than the first and smiled slyly, "That would just be rude."

...

Her head was slamming against her skull with bone shattering force and as she roused she wondered when she had fallen asleep in the first place. It was only a few seconds later did she remember why she was still in bed at two in the afternoon when she was supposed to have been at work six hours ago and she pulled her blankets over her head, shutting out the sun. It didn't matter, she hadn't gone into work yesterday either.

She was doing an awful job of pretending that nothing was wrong with her, so she could effectively silence this problem without alerting anyone to her...condition, but she just couldn't find the strength to face the world since she made her unfortunate discovery. How exactly was she supposed to take care of this if she couldn't even seek out a medical professional to assist her because every medical professional she knew was either a coworker or a close friend?

Or...herself?

She sat up with a start as a surge of anxiety pierced her gut and she suddenly felt sick again. She wondered briefly if it was nerves or if perhaps she was experiencing morning sickness. She guessed it didn't really matter as she was about to spend another morning wrapped around the toilet bowl. She raced to the bathroom as fast as her exhausted body could carry her and practically threw herself onto the floor, dry heaving and gagging on virtually nothing but stomach acid and bile. The bitter taste brought on yet more heaving and tears and sweat clung to her hair, effectively gluing it to her face.

There wasn't even anything to throw up and she couldn't even use her chakra to alleviate the pain or nausea, as it was as out of control as her hormones were. She knew she wouldn't be able to work in this condition - if she decided to ever leave the house again - but she couldn't even find the nerve to call in sick. After it was over she laid across the seat, weakly clutching to it as if it were the only thing tethering her to life.

She was weak, she was becoming malnourished and she couldn't eat or even drink; everything she consumed made its way back up, even water was too strong for her newly sensitive stomach to handle.

It was ridiculous. She was being ridiculous and she knew it. She hadn't been able to keep anything down for a week and contributing to her own ill-health and yet here she was still locked up in her apartment like she had the plague. It was not as if her friends and teammates would disown her for being pregnant, so what had her acting like this?

With a silent sob she realized the answer was something her entire country would disown her for. It wasn't the fact that she went out, got ridiculously drunk, had sex with a man she didn't know, failed to use proper protection and got knocked up that would get her tried for treason and possibly exiled from her village. No, it was the fact that she went out, got ridiculously drunk, had sex with a man she didn't know, failed to use proper protection and got knocked up by the enemy that was going to get her tried for treason and exiled.

...

The Next Morning, Amegakure

She awoke in quite a state, the fuzziness of sleep still looming mixed with what was sure to be an awful hangover left her both sick and irritated. The first thing she registered was her current lack of clothing and that it was terribly cold and drafty in her inn room. Head pounding and stomach churning, she located the nearest piece of fabric and wrapped herself in it before dragging herself out of bed and towards the window to close it.

After stepping on several articles of clothing strewn across the floor (surely she hadn't left the room that messy...) and nearly tripping over a small end table that she didn't remember being there before her eyes finally adjusted to the moonlit room. When she made it to the window (she could have sworn that it was on the other side of the room...) she got a good look at her current surroundings.

This was not her room. That much was becoming painfully obvious, and those weren't all of her clothes on the floor and that was not her night table.

'God...what happened last night?'

She remembered meeting a man and she remembered drinking. She could remember talking and laughing. Her intention had been to sauce him up a bit and squeeze some information out of him for the mission but something got her sidetracked and she must have just let go. She narrowed her eyes, squinting in the dark, the chill of the air from the window not even registering anymore as she spotted him, wrapped in a dark colored sheet, just as naked as she and very much asleep.

A feeling of unusually cold numbness seeped into her as she let her mind take in the features of the man who she had apparently given herself to just a few hours prior. His sharply chiseled face was tense, even in inebriated sleep and it made his jaw look all the more angular. His eyes were very dark, as if the rims had been outlined in kohl and smudged; his nose was sharp, the bridge only slightly crooked probably from where it had been broken and re-set once or twice. There were dark etchings on his cheeks, like stretched checkmarks, and could have been tattoos, but they were unlike any tattoos she had seen. Her eyebrows furrowed deeply as she let her eyes travel down his chest to see the exact same markings below his collarbone, only much larger. She spotted the same on his one exposed shoulder and noted that they very closely resembled a set of fish gills. He was very well defined and muscular, long legs stretching over the end of the queen size bed. His hair was as dark as the pillowcase but she could see a decent amount of stubble on his jaw, his hair was an almost black shade of blue and his skin...

He had an unusual skin color, bluish, but perhaps that was just the moonlight. She looked down at her arm to see if it looked blue too. It didn't.

His skin...was blue.

How that was the last thing she noticed was simply baffling to her until she realized that it was indeed the very first thing she noticed and she had put it to the back because she had been so shocked. How could a man so unusual be suddenly so very familiar? A man with blue skin...

A man who had blue skin and gill markings and angular features and...

..Sharp teeth...

...who carried a sentient sword that ate people and who was surely more monster than man.

He was even named for it, the demon shark that had twisted him from a possible human being into an awful, terrible, bloodthirsty killing machine who took the utmost pleasure in torturing and skewering his victims until there were no identifiable remains left. She had seen his face in the bingo book, along with a file she was made to read when doing research on the Akatsuki, complete with various pictures of his violent deeds and the messes he had made. They had never met, she had never seen him in the flesh on the battlefield but she knew his work too well.

"Hoshigaki Kisame..."

The whisper was as silent as it was loud in its terror and repulsion. She had just slept with one of the most renowned, most purely evil criminals known to the shinobi nations.

She had allowed a...a monster to be inside of her, to spill his demon seed into her in an act that should have been shared between two people who cared for each other, or even just two individuals of the same species!

Nausea hit her full force but she couldn't bring herself to move from that spot with fear that she would wake him and he would see what they had done and he would certainly rip her limb from limb and parade in her blood. She forced down the acid threatening to fill her mouth and looked down at the garment she was wrapped in.

A thick, black cloak adorned with bright crimson clouds, the very symbol that she had been taught to hate and fear and fight against for her country and her best friend, was now shielding her naked body from the cold. She dropped it as if the innocent cloth had come alive and burned her, leaving her naked once more. Slowly she crept over it, dropped to her knees and crawled around the floor as silently as possible, feeling for her clothes, intent on making the window escape of shame as soon as she was dressed enough. She found her jeans, and slid them on, not even attempting to worry about something as silly as undergarments and found her tank top, with an awful tear through the front as if he had ripped it off of her. Luckily her jacket was close by so she made due with that instead, wincing as she slid the zipper up the track.

She didn't have time to realize how sore and exhausted she really was and didn't want to think about what that monster had done to her body. When she decided she was covered up well enough she slid through the window and outside, running as fast as she could intent to get away as far as she could.

...

By the time she realized what she had just done - what they had done - she put as much distance between that herself and that city as possible. She returned home, her mission was done as far as she could see, and decided that she would never speak of that horrible night to anyone ever.

At first it was hard and she was hit with an onslaught of depression and shame and as time went on she began to remember more and more of what happened that night, how differently it had actually happened and how she told herself it must have happened.

She remembered when he tore her shirt, but she remembered that she had practically begged him to. She remembered that she was the one who came on to him and she even vaguely recalled that he tried to stop her. He didn't rape her; they were both just very drunk and poor judgment combined with loneliness on her part led to an awful mistake. It was rough and it was dirty, but she had - at that very moment at least - wanted him, for whatever reason.

She had tried to reason with herself, to make herself out to be some kind of victim, so she could feel the tiniest bit justified for her actions, that she had allowed a...monster to touch her. She realized that she was being unfair; he was a monster, very much so, and evil and cruel in all of the ways a person could be. He was a monster because of the things he had done though, not because of his appearance. She wasn't even really taking that into account, so fixated on his surface that she didn't realize that surely what was underneath was far worse.

She couldn't remember if at any time during their interaction she recalled who he was, but she should have been more careful. She should have been more aware of what she was doing. She should have never allowed herself to get drunk in the presence of a person who had sent warning bells off in her head the second she laid eyes on him in the first place. For all of her reasoning, for all of her careless nature when she should have been the most careful, she was just as much to blame as he was, even if to admit that brought her great shame and disgust with herself.

She had her private pity party, didn't eat for a few days, wallowed around in misery, all under the story that she had the flu and eventually she began to get over it. The details - which weren't very fresh to begin with - began to get fuzzier and soon enough it stopped being her first waking thought. She stopped living in the fear that someone knew her dirtiest secret and she would soon be caught and dealt with. No one knew, no one would ever know, she began to believe that. And one day she just stopped thinking about it altogether, until this came up.

And now, now she was forced to deal with her actions because said actions came with a serious consequence, one that was probably starving because its mother couldn't even hold down water.

"Mother..." The word came out with an awed inflection, and was far too foreign to her ears to be such a normal word. She couldn't believe it, that she could ever be a mother to anybody and especially not one born out of some stupid mistake. It was a tragic way to bring a child into the world and suddenly she felt a deep surge of sadness, not for her, but for the poor soul that lived within her and took the brunt of her mistake and her poor choices.

"I'm...sorry..." she choked out, knowing that it couldn't hear her, barely even a living being and yet she had cursed it to a life of nothing but sadness and pain. With a broken, awful mother who surely didn't have one maternal bone in her body and a terrible, criminal and most certainly absentee father what kind of life could it expect to have?

Even if she wanted to keep this baby, even if she was allowed to when they found out who had fathered it, even if she was even allowed to stay in the village at all, the child's life would always be marked with shame, with lies and painful truths. If anyone ever found out the truth behind its lineage, he or she would always be an outcast and no matter how much love she'd try - and probably fail - to provide it would eventually hate her for bringing it into the world.

What if something happened to her? Early deaths were definitely not uncommon in her line of work and then she'd be gone and it would be left to deal with the hard world alone. She had seen Naruto, one of her very best friends, go through that same kind of life every single day, she definitely didn't want that for her child, and Naruto wasn't the progeny of a criminal like this child would have been.

But despite all of these truths, she couldn't bring herself to just deal with it already. She could easily just go to Tsunade and come clean about this mistake and she could help her take care of it. Obviously she wouldn't be totally truthful, she'd be mad enough at her already without names involved but she could admit she had made a very bad decision one night and she would ask what she wanted to do about this and she would tell her...

What would she tell her?

Loud and frantic pounding at her front door interrupted her internal struggle and she was brought back to the unforgiving fluorescent lighting of her bathroom and the cold tile floor beneath her cheek. She had wondered how long she could hide away from the world before someone eventually came to find her. She tried to ignore the noise but they refused to give up so she slithered off her floor, feeling worn down and just plain awful, knowing she looked like shit and probably had vomit in her hair but no will to do anything about it and went to deal with the intruder.

Half a second after her locks were undone her door all but fell open and a very irritated and huffy Shizune stood in her doorway, her arms bogged down with various scrolls, books and file folders. The words that left her mouth were spoken in a way that clearly showed that Shizune was pissed at her; she didn't even look at her as she trampled into the apartment, uninvited mind you, and threw her load on the small kitchen table.

"My god, woman, what in Hokage's name has gotten into you?-"

"Shizune-"

"-You don't show up to work in two days! Two days! Absolutely no one has heard a damn word from you and you-" She grabbed the disconnected phone cord off of Sakura's kitchen bar and held it up, "You unplugged your phone?!"

"Shizune, please-" she stood motionless in the still open doorway as Shizune continued her tirade, feeling like she might vomit and faint and Kami knew what else.

"Tsunade is absolutely livid and worried to death and has been terrified, along with everyone else I might add, that you've been dead in here and-" Finally she turned, facing Sakura and her face just dropped.

"Shizune..." Hot tears sprung to her eyes, and she choked, "I'm-I'm sorry I just-"

"Sakura, you look awful. Honey, what happened?" Suddenly every ounce of anger just dissolved and the older woman all but ran to her. She must have looked pretty terrible if the mere sight of her could drain Shizune's anger so completely. The faint feeling she felt from before crashed down on her and her knees gave out just in time for Shizune to catch her and keep her upright. As soon as she felt that contact the floodgates opened and she crashed, clutching onto coworker and friend for dear life, pouring out everything in the form of tears and snot on Shizune's shirt and they dropped to the floor together. She held her for a few moments, rubbing her back and letting Sakura use her as a human Kleenex. Finally the sobs died down and Sakura had to admit she felt a little better for at least having someone there to care about her. Shizune pulled away and looked into watery green orbs.

"Tell me what happened, Sakura."

She hung her head in shame, terrified that the next words out of her mouth would be the loop around which the noose was tied. She didn't want to tell Shizune, she'd certainly rush her to Tsunade - though she probably would have anyway, even if she said nothing - there was nothing to be gained by keeping it a complete secret. She needed help; she couldn't do this on her own.

"I..." she looked up at the ceiling, trying to find something to distract her but Shizune pulled her face back down to her level. She knew then that she had no choice but to come clean, "I'm pregnant."

Shizune's eyes widened to that of saucers and for the briefest of seconds she looked as if she might laugh, in the event that Sakura was playing a joke on her or something. She guessed that Shizune kept expecting her to burst into laughter and was waiting for people to jump out and be like 'Gotcha!' but Sakura's expression stayed the same and Shizune's partial smile became a look of agape disbelief.

"What? No! But...but when? Who?" Sakura could understand why Shizune was surprised; it wasn't as if she was the one to expect it from. She hardly dated, she never really frequented clubs and she wasn't especially promiscuous. She had maybe two semi-serious relationships under her belt, both of which she'd never invested in and ducked out of as soon as things began to get somewhat difficult. Sakura was a notorious home-body and when she wasn't working at the hospital or on a mission. She wasn't the type of girl who walked down the street and people would comment on her as if she were some kind of looker. She knew she was attractive enough but she never put herself out there. She certainly wasn't one for one night stands.

She wiped her eyes with her hand, "You-you remember that mission Tsunade sent me on? The reconnaissance?"

"To Ame?"

"Yeah...well, one night I was getting pretty agitated, I didn't have any leads and it had been like two weeks and I decided that maybe if I opened up a bit I would get some information. I…I met a guy at the bar and the next thing I remember I'm waking up and he's-he's asleep in the bed and we're both naked and I just, I just ran, Shizune. I didn't know what else to do!" The words came out in a jumble and the relief she felt was immense. Shizune's face went from shocked to angry and for a second Sakura thought she was going to start yelling again.

"Did he take advantage of you?"

"Wha- no, I mean, I don't think so..." she had to choose her words very carefully from here on out, as even the tiniest slip up could lead to something even more awful, "I might have... I might have had a few drinks."

Shizune sighed and shook her head, "How many is a few?"

"I don't remember. I just remember being very hungover afterward."

"I don't know Sakura, I've seen you drink and I don't think I've ever seen you hook up with a stranger you don't even know after a few drinks. You're positive he didn't slip you something?"

"Shizune, I'm sure I would have noticed if he drugged me!" She was still a shinobi damn it, not an invalid, she would have seen him, she was sure of it. Besides, she knew she had had more than just a 'few' drinks. She had had more than she could handle she could remember that. She knew she had been awfully drunk when she asked him if he wanted to get out of there and she knew she had been absolutely blitzed when she practically climbed him to kiss him.

Oh...god...

She had kissed him! For some reason, though she knew it would seem a lot less substantial than sleeping with him, that fact made her even more sick. She knew she should have been praying that kissing was all she had done but it seemed more important, other than the fact that she was carrying around his child, that she had allowed his mouth on hers instead of the other. She knew this was irrational thinking, but she had been doing a lot of that lately, so she just figured she was being rational enough.

Why hadn't she remembered that fact sooner?

"It doesn't matter how this happened, but we need to get you to Tsunade now. You need to explain this to her yourself and you need a checkup." She stood and started rooting through her coat closet for her jacket and a pair of shoes, "Is this green sweater okay?"

Sakura stared blindly ahead, her chest, which was previously torrential with pain was now strangely numb. The next words she spoke came out unusually smooth, considering she had been so stressed about coming out about it in the first place.

"I have to get rid of it, Shizune; I don't think a prenatal checkup is really going to matter."

Shizune's back tensed slightly but relaxed quickly, "It doesn't matter what you do. The check-up would be for...both of you," She tossed a pair of boots at her knees, "Come on. We have to go before Tsunade sends a search party after me. She has been pretty much insufferable lately. And boy won't this just make her day, huh?" The brunette smiled and Sakura knew she was trying to make her feel better, but honestly, the only thing that would make her feel better was to have this problem dealt with for good.

Something in her tugged at the thought but really it was the only option. She could not have this child. She just couldn't. She figured the grief and sadness she felt in ending it would be a necessary evil in order to prevent a much worse outcome. For heaven's sake, what if the baby came out with blue skin and gills? How exactly was she supposed to explain that? 'Oh, I have a grandmother on my father's side that's half fish'? That wouldn't arouse suspicion at all. She feigned a smile that she hoped didn't portray the gnawing terror she felt inside and picked her boots up.

As they left the apartment, she knew exactly what she had to do and she would do it. She just prayed that Tsunade would understand.

...

This is beginning to feel like the dawn of the loser forever...
This is beginning to feel like the dawn of the loser forever.